shit's about to get real
~
A movie night it is. Really, Taehyung would do anything to make Jeongguk happy.
He thinks that he has never kissed as much as he has over the past 24 hours. The only time they separated was when Jeongguk had to go to work, but once he returned they were entangled on the couch again, not sure where one body started and the other stopped.
"Let's watch some movies," Jeongguk proposed. Taehyung, who was lying in his arms, traced his fingers down his jaw.
"Like a date."
Jeongguk looked down at him with fond eyes. "Yeah, like a date."
So, now they sit on the couch and watch Tobey Maguire as Spiderman jump from building to building in New York. Taehyung holds Jeongguk's hand with both of his and presses his knuckles, plays with his fingers. He doesn't care much about the movie, just enjoys the presence of the man next to him, their warm bodies pressed together. He rests his head on his shoulder, nuzzles Jeongguk's neck.
The younger chuckles and wraps an arm around him, his hand slipping underneath his shirt.
"I love you," Taehyung whispers before he kisses his neck.
The low buzz of his phone disturbs the peaceful moment. He lifts his head, spots the caller ID. Jeongguk has seen the name, too.
Yoongi.
"I'll just... quickly answer this," Taehyung mumbles and takes his phone. When he sees Jeongguk frown, he puts a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Don't worry, I'll... just tell him to call another time. It'll be okay."
Jeongguk shrugs yet keeps glancing at him when he picks up.
Yoongi's heavy, frantic breathing alarms Taehyung right away.
"Hyung?"
"Taehyung?" He sounds like he has been crying. "Taehyung, can you — are you there?"
"Yes, I'm here." Taehyung sits up and scoots away from Jeongguk, his boyfriend's hand slipping from his waist. "What's up?"
Yoongi gasps for air. He sounds like he is pacing through his room.
"Yoongi?" Taehyung asks again, worry flaring up in his chest. He can feel Jeongguk's eyes on him.
"It's... it's bad, Taehyung." Yoongi sobs. "I think... something bad is going to happen."
For a moment, Taehyung feels his breath catch in his throat and he is unable to respond. He turns around to Jeongguk, sees the furrow of his brows and the almost unnoticeable shake of his head. He swallows heavily.
"Yoongi hyung, where are you?"
"I'm... I'm home. Look, I know it sounds stupid crazy, but I think they're coming for me." He pauses, and all that Taehyung can hear is his bloodcurdling, shaky breath.
"Taehyung, I'm scared. I'm so scared, I don't know what to do, I—"
"Just calm down, hyung, okay?" Taehyung interrupts him. He squeezes his eyes shut. This is going to hurt. He knows it. It's unfair, but it's what he has to do. Right? It's what's best.
"I can't help you right now. Just... go talk to Jimin, okay? I'm sure he'll be there for you."
Yoongi is quiet for a few beats. "What?"
"You heard me. I'm sorry, but I don't have time right now. I can't help you," Taehyung says as gently as possible, despite the pain it brings him. Yoongi lets out a strained noise.
"Taehyung, what the fuck? I can't... I can't talk to Jimin. He is working, he doesn't fucking understand me, you know that — Taehyung, you're the only one who believes me. Don't do this to me. Please, I'm begging you."
Taehyung is certain that he has never heard Yoongi this desperate. He bites down on his bottom lip so hard he almost draws blood.
"Hyung, go to bed, try to sleep. You need some rest, okay? I can't help you right now."
"No, no no no, Taehyung, listen to me. Please, don't leave me. Don't leave me alone. I'm so fucking scared, please help me, I—"
Taehyung hangs up. He sits there unmoving, doesn't even feel Jeongguk's touch on his shoulder.
"Hey," Jeongguk says, "Baby. Is everything alright?"
No. Everything is not alright. Something is going horribly wrong, Taehyung knows it. Yoongi is not okay and he needs help.
He turns his head to look at Jeongguk, forcing a smile that hurts his cheeks.
"Yeah," he says quietly, "Everything... everything's alright."
He puts his phone away and lets himself be pulled against Jeongguk's side again.
"Try not to think about it too much," Jeongguk whispers and kisses his head, "It's not your job to save everyone."
Sometimes, Taehyung wishes it was. Sometimes, he wishes he could put on a superhero suit and go around and save everyone.
He buries his face against Jeongguk's neck and tries to zone out Yoongi's voice echoing through his head, focuses on the movie instead and squeezes his eyes shut.
This is too much.
He draws comfort from Jeongguk's touch, his hand running up and down his back. It makes everything a bit more bearable, at least for the moment.
The dull pain inside of him remains, though. Taehyung guesses it's what he deserves.
Taehyung holds Jeongguk as close as possible, one of his thighs wrapped around the younger's hip, until there is not a hairsbreadth between them. Jeongguk's thrusts are fast and deep, almost desperately so, as he nears his climax. His face is buried against Taehyung's neck; he presses open mouthed, wet kisses against the skin. The noises that leave his mouth are heavenly.
Taehyung cries out in pleasure when he comes first. He clutches Jeongguk's back so tightly, his fingernails digging into the skin, that Jeongguk lets out a soft grunt.
"Fuck," he gasps, then, after two, three, four deep thrusts, he is coming too, slowly riding out his orgasm.
"I love you," Taehyung says, voice unusually high pitched, "I love you so much."
Jeongguk slows his movements until he stills, panting heavily against Taehyung's shoulder.
"I love you, too." He finally raises his head and kisses him deeply.
Fast and desperate sex might be one of Taehyung's favorites. He sighs against Jeongguk's lips and buries his hands in his locks. The whine that leaves his mouth when Jeongguk pulls away eventually and slides out of him is pouty.
"Don't go."
"Calm down, I have to get a towel." Jeongguk chuckles, then, when he looks at Taehyung, his gaze softens and he leans over him again. "Hey, beautiful." He brushes the hair out of Taehyung's face, then kisses him softly.
"Be right back."
"Don't go too far."
Jeongguk sticks his tongue out. He throws the condom away and disappears in the bathroom, then comes back with a damp towel. First, he cleans Taehyung, then his own stomach before lying down next to him and throwing an arm around him.
"That was good," Taehyung says as he snuggles closer. Jeongguk smells like sweat and cologne and he loves it. It feels like home, safety, everything Taehyung has ever wished for.
"Very good..."
Jeongguk chuckles and kisses the top of his head. "Don't feed into my ego too much." He tilts Taehyung's head up by his chin and kisses him with his lips parted, softly and slowly, his tongue darting out and licking against Taehyung's lips.
Taehyung can't help but open his mouth, letting out a shaky breath when Jeongguk licks inside. His stomach churns with his feelings for the man above him, holding him. It's overwhelming.
Jeongguk's lips barely touch his, just a ghost, as if he is playing with him. He grins when Taehyung lets out a soft whine.
Their fingers touch in the air. Suddenly, Taehyung feels like they just met again, three years ago, and the first time they had sex, all cuddly and clingy afterwards. He never wants to forget that; it still makes him feel giddy.
Jeongguk's eyes move across his face as a soft smile grows on his lips.
"What?" Taehyung asks, feeling a bit shy all of a sudden. Jeongguk shakes his head.
"I love you," he says, and he has said it so often, but this time, it knocks the air out of Taehyung's lungs. "And... I want you to know that you are the love of my life, too. You told me a few times and... every time you do, I think the same. I know that I'm still young, but... this is it for me. I'm sure." He nods slowly. "You're the love of my life, Kim Taehyung."
There is nothing in this world Taehyung could say that would come close to what he feels at that moment, so all he says is, "Kiss me," and it seems the most fitting.
Jeongguk does, deeply, one hand cupping Taehyung's cheek, the other underneath his back. He kisses him breathless and then a bit more, slowly, dragging his tongue against Taehyung's.
And Taehyung feels it, he feels that he means it. God. God.
When they break apart, they chuckle nervously, embarrassed, endeared. Taehyung pulls Jeongguk down and nuzzles his nose.
"You're beautiful," he says.
Jeongguk smiles.
When they fall asleep that night, entangled and holding each other tight, Taehyung feels safe and for the first time in a while, he doesn't dread his dreams. Because like this, nothing can harm him.
It's the continuous buzzing that pulls Taehyung out of his deep sleep. He doesn't even remember setting an alarm.
It keeps on vibrating.
Jeongguk doesn't have to work early, right? Taehyung rubs his eyes, then looks up. There is an arm around his waist — Jeongguk's. The man's eyelids are fluttering.
"Tae..." he just mumbles, scrunching up his nose at the disturbance.
Taehyung looks at his phone. Someone is calling him. He frowns and picks up the phone.
Jimin.
"What the fuck?" he mutters, then the buzzing stops and his lock screen appears.
3 missed calls
25 unread texts
Taehyung forgets how to breathe. He opens the messages without intending on doing so.
Taehyung, I need your help... I'm so sorry for bothering you right now but it's serious...
It's about Yoongi, I don't know where he is
Please, please call me when you see this
He is gone and I have no idea where he went. He is not responding to my messages and doesn't pick up his phone... I think he turned it off. I'm really worried. He is not okay and I'm so scared he is going to do something stupid...
Those are just the first ones, followed by plenty of other, similar ones. Taehyung sits up properly, his eyes glued to the phone, brows furrowed. Jeongguk yawns behind him, stretching his arm out, his hand brushing against Taehyung's back.
"What is it?" he asks. Taehyung's phone starts vibrating again, and Jimin's caller ID appears.
"It's Jimin," Taehyung mumbles, "I think something's wrong."
He accepts the call and is silent for a few moments. Jimin is crying.
"Hello? Taehyung?"
"Jimin?" Taehyung says quietly. He can hear the other let out a loud, relieved gasp before he continues to breathe too fast.
"Taehyung, oh my God, finally... I'm so sorry for waking you up, I swear I wouldn't do it if it wasn't an emergency, but I need your help, please, please help me—"
"Jimin, calm down," Taehyung says sternly. He hears and feels Jeongguk shift behind him until he is sitting next to him.
"Please, be calm, okay? Tell me what happened."
A bad, nauseating feeling pools in his gut. Something inside of him tells him that he knows what happened. And another, too sinister part tells him that it's partly his fault.
"I — Yoongi, he... I was at work and he seemed on edge this morning already but I thought... I thought it was fine, but it wasn't, Taehyung, it wasn't fine and this is all my fault, God, I fucked up so badly, this is all my fucking fault—"
"Jimin!" Taehyung says again, louder this time and way too alarmed already to calm the other down, "Please, breathe, okay? I need you to tell me what's going on so I can help you."
"Okay, okay," Jimin breathes, "Yeah, I — okay."
"Good." Taehyung inhales deeply. "Where is Yoongi?"
Jimin is quiet for two beats.
"I don't know," he then says, "I... when I went to his apartment this evening, he wasn't there. That was hours ago already. I can't reach him, I looked everywhere. Taehyung, you know he can't just wander around at night, he... he is not okay, he might do something really, really dumb, you know how he talks, and I'm just..." He lets out a heartbreaking sob. "I'm so scared, Taehyung. I need your help, please. We have to find him."
And then, after a short silence, he adds another, quiet, broken, "Please."
Taehyung looks at Jeongguk. He can tell that the younger has heard everything. Even he seems the slightest bit shocked, his lips parted and all sleepiness gone from his eyes.
This is bad. This is so fucking bad. Taehyung swallows harshly as his heart beats up to his throat. He tugs at the bedsheets, twirls them around his finger until it hurts.
"Jimin," he says, "Where are you right now?"
"In my car," Jimin says, "I've been driving around the city all night, checking out all the places where he could possibly be... he is nowhere."
Taehyung stares at the ground in front of him. The moon throws tiny spots of white light onto the laminate.
"Text me all the places he could be at," he says, his own voice sounding so oddly foreign to him, "We're going to help you."
Jimin lets out something between a sob and a yelp.
"Thank you so much," he says, "Thank you, both of you, I swear, I'll be forever in your debt."
"Don't worry about it," Taehyung says as gently as possible, "Drive safely, okay?"
When he hangs up, he feels Jeongguk's heavy gaze rest on him. It takes him all his willpower to face him.
"Please," he begs, "Don't say anything."
Jeongguk stays quiet. A few moments pass. When Taehyung finally dares to look into his eyes, he is surprised to see no anger or disappointment in them. Just... worry?
"Taehyung," he says lowly, "What is going on?"
Taehyung feels the blood rush past his ears.
"I think," he says and almost chokes on his own words, "I think... Yoongi might commit suicide."
Jeongguk's expression doesn't change; his jaw clenches.
"He hinted at it," Taehyung continues, "When he called earlier today."
For another few moments, Jeongguk just keeps looking at him. Slowly, he nods.
"Okay," he says, voice barely more than a whisper, "Okay, then... let's get dressed, shall we?"