gus was out with tracy and adam. i was just chilling at my apartment until i got a text.
adam: peep is fucking around w a girl
adam: idfk shes not the prettiest 🙄
me: yeh well it's whatever
me: i know he does this shit, isn't gonna upset me. he wants to fw dumb hoes he can go right ahead
adam: you sound bitter
me: i'm not, why would i be
me: i've known him for a long time, i know that this is the type of shit he does
adam: wait, no, she's coming onto him, he's just high off his ass, actin weird
me: okay
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lillianjames: old pic, but peep is going on tour again! you better play nose ring 🥺
[comments]
lilpeep: i'll play nose ring for u, dw bby ❤️ i have all of it planned out babygirl
tracyminajj: lilpeep play all of lil peep part 1!!!!!!!!!!
fish_narc: take me on tour with you and peep please
"i'll play nose ring." he smiled up at me.
"i can't wait to see videos of it."
"videos?" he raised an eyebrow. "do you wanna come with?"
i thought about it. "i don't like touring much. i'm sorry."
"yeah, that's fair."
"it's only for a few months, peep."
"too long."
"i'll come to the LA show, and i'll see you in the crowd."
"okay." he smiled. "i won't play nose ring until that concert."
i grinned. "gus?"
"yeah?"
"what would happen if i died?"
his face fell immediately. "baby, why're you asking?"
"just wondering."
he thought. "you'd be dead. i'd prolly fall into a deep depression. momma would have to... take care of me again. i'd probably overdose. not on purpose, you wouldn't want that, but it would happen. i'd just be so upset. and i'd take too much. and die. i'd be with you. we'd have a funeral. i'd speak. momma would speak, and so would tracy. yeah. that's all i can think of. even if i didn't die, i wouldn't write music anymore. i don't know who i'd right about. so yeah." he was quiet.
"i'm sorry."
"for what?"
"asking." i laid my head in his lap and he started silently stroking my hair. "i'm sorry."
"don't be." he whispered, and i heard his voice crack. he was gonna cry, and i knew he wouldn't want me to see it, so i didn't look. i kept my eyes closed. after a few minutes, his hand rested on my head. i lifted my hand into the air and put it on top of his. "i love you."
"i love you too, gus."
"don't die, okay?"
"okay."
"i wouldn't be able to bear it."
"i know."
he placed his other hand on my back and started rubbing my back. "i need you. you're all i have."
"got tracy, and fish, and adam, and liza."
"it's not the same, baby."
"why not?"
"it's just not."
i sighed. "gus."
"yeah?"
"you're the only thing i have left to lose. my parents aren't in my life, and yeah i care about my friends but... you're different. yes, i care about ben, and chris, and tracy, and adam, and liza, and layla, but you... you're different. i can't explain how, but you are. you're something i can never let go of, no matter how hard i try. and believe me. i've tried."
"cause i'm your hellboy." he whispered.
"yeah."