Miranda Lucille
Everybody Loves An Outlaw's "I See Red" blasted through my earphones as I ran faster. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang mabilis na tibok ng aking puso, my legs are burning but I kept going. The fresh morning smell of grass and air filled my nostrils. I parted my mouth as I pant for air.
I decided to go for a run to clear my head.
Wala pang masyadong tao dito sa parke. Wala pang mga bata dahil alas siete pa lang ng umaga. I went home bago magising si Samuel.
That's what I should've done, last night but my hunger for comfort got the best of me. Which I shouldn't because that will start an attachment that we must not have. Dàmn it.
Last night, I didn't expect it to be like that. Although, alam ko na, na babangungutin ulit ako...I just didn't expect that it would stop once he hugged and comforted me. Nightmares has been always part of my night ever since I had my first kill, torture, and shoot out.
Sleeping pills and alcohol are my friends. When I can't afford to have a nightmare I take a sleeping pill...but that shìt's makes me anxious so I turn to alcohol. I like drinking because if I'm drunk or just had a shot or two. Hindi ako magigising ng balot sa pawis at puno ng takot.
Killing and torturing an enemy is not the problem. We were trained thousands of hours for that…but they didn't teach or trained us on how to live with the baggage that you played 'god' and decided that a certain monstrous human being will die in that very spot. I didn't have a choice. It's me or them. If I don't pull the trigger.
The blood on my hands. Their eyes begging for mercy, That's what I learned. No matter how much of a monster a person is...if they are under somebody's mercy, you'll see the pain in their eyes as you pierce their skin. They will pray to every saint and kneel and even kiss your feet so you would stop the pain that you're inflicting or spare their lives.
Their cries will be burnt in your brain and if you're not strong enough. It will slowly tear you inside until you're nuts.
I wouldn't let it affect my behavior but it haunts me in the night.
My psychiatrist said that I'm having nightmares about them because I'm empathetic at tao ako...may konsensya. W-1716 assigned each and everyone of us a 'therapy' session if you will. They makes sure that we don't go nuts.
I stopped as my chest heaved heavily. Napahawak ako sa aking mga tuhod habang hinahabol ko ang aking hininga. I'm fùcked up but I don't let it show. I wear this jolly and happy persona so for once, I would feel like I'm less fùcked up.
My instincts kicked in nang may malaking kamay na humawak sa bewang ko but I relaxed when I smelled the familiar scent. It's Samuel. I straightened up at humarap sa kanya.
He lazily smiled and bahagyang nagulo ang man bun niya. Balot din siya ng pawis. Ang maroon niyang dri-fit ay basang-basa kaya bakat na bakat ang muscles niya. His gray running shorts are also soaked with sweat. Ang kanang kamay niya ay may hawak na dalawang bottled water. Ang isa naman ay nakahawak sa bewang ko.
"Bakla ka, ang bilis mo tumakbo..kanina ko pa tinatawag ang pangalan mo. Muntik na akong napaos sa'yo!" His nose scrunched at inabutan ako ng bottled water.
He kissed my forehead.
I laughed as I accepted it. I shoved the earphones in my phone holder that's attached to my arm. I twisted the cap and drank from the bottle.
"Sorry na…wait, what are you doing here?"
He pouted at masama akong tiningnan.
"I woke up alone in the bed, so I tracked your phone." I rolled my eyes. Of course, he has the ability to do that. "I hope you don't mind."
"You already did, so, what's the point?"
He smirked.
"Well, it led me here...sa akin ka buong weekend. Bakit ka umuwi?" Iritado ang tono niya na ikinataas ng kilay ko.
"Bawal kumuha ng damit?" I replied.
Nagsalubong ang mga kilay niya at humigpit ang hawak niya sa bewang ko.
"You don't need that in my house...I'll always take it off, anyway." He bit his lower lip.
Pabiro ko siyang inirapan.
"Landi mo talagang bakla ka...Babalik din ako...kumuha lang ako ng mga additional lingerie..pinunit mo 'yung kakabili ko lang na chemise."
He smirked sexily. My nipples hardened. Pinaraan niya ang kamay niya sa aking noo.
"Uwi na tayo...pawisan ka na e...I'm gonna shower you." Naughtiness gleamed in his eyes.
I hit his hard and sweaty chest.
"Siraulo. Ii-score ka lang eh."
A deep chuckle rose from his throat.
"Of course..masarap ka kasi." He winked at pinaraan ang tingin niya sa katawan ko.
"Tigilan mo nga ako Samuel."
Tumawa siya. We finished our bottled water.
His hand was at the small of my back as we walked to the parking lot. Tumakbo lang ako patungo sa park dahil malapit lang naman ang apartment. Siya ang nagsa-sakyan papunta dito. Naka-push up bra lang ako yoga pants samantalang siya ay hinubad niya ang t-shirt niya dahil basang-basa iyon ng pawis.
His toned body is exposed. Napapatingin sa direksyon namin ang mga middle age at millenials na nagja-jogging. Tumingala ako sa kanya. Deretso lang ang tingin niya. Hindi niya pinapansin ang malalagkit na tingin nila.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit naiirita ako.
Hindi nagtagal ay nakita namin ang puting Toyota Avalon Hybrid niya.
"Aren't you gonna ask me about last night?" Bungad ko sa kanya nang sumakay na kami sa sasakyan niya. I'm just curious. He never brought it up which I'm glad and kind of confused.
"It's none of my business...If I can help, I would…I just felt like it's not something that I should pry about.." He smiled.
Napangiti din ako. I like that he's not nosy and respectful if I don't want to talk about something.
I thought he was gonna drop me off pero he parked his car. Naniningkit na mga matang tiningnan ko siya habang nagpa-park siya.
"What?" Natatawang tanong niya.
"I thought you're gonna drop me off?"
He took off his seatbelt as he turned off the engine. Hindi siya sumagot at lumabas lang siya. He opened the door for me.
"Pwedeng makiinom ng tubig?"
I scoffed.
"Wala ka bang tubig sa inyo?" Sarkastikong tanong ko habang naglalakad kami.
He sexily bit his lower lip and chuckled.
"Nauuhaw na ako." He roamed his gaze on me as he said that.
Napalunok ako.
"Tsaka malayo 'yung bahay..please?"
I sighed.
"Fine. Tubig lang, okay? Tapos uuwi kana, susunod na lang ako mamaya...I just need to finish up something."
Nagsalubong ang kanyang mga kilay.
"No, sabay tayong uuwi. I will wait for you kahit gaano ka katagal gumayak." He firmly replied.
Ang kulit talaga. I have work to do. I'll develop a tracking device. Kailangan na nila iyon mamayang gabi.
"Samuel…" I trailed. Tumingin siya sa akin habang papasok kami sa walang taong elevator. "It's okay..ilang oras lang naman akong male-late."
"Miranda.." Sagot niya nang sumara ang mga metal na pinto. He licked his lips at dahan-dahan na naglakad patungo sa akin kaya napapaurong din ako. My back hit the wall as he towered me. His eyes were dark. Ang gwapo niya talaga, nakakasar.
He cupped my chin. I unconsciously bit my lower lip as I met his dark gaze. He clenched his jaw.
"Sa akin ka ngayong araw…susulitin ko 'yon. You starved me the whole week."
"Hoy, ang kapal mo! Nakailan ka kagabi? Hindi pa bawi 'yon?" I pouted.
He trapped me with his arms by putting it on both sides of my head and whispered.
"No...I would always want more...masarap ka kasi."
My nipples hardened as I clenched my thighs. My clit throbs.
"T-tse!" I looked away.
Tumikhim ako nang bumukas ang elevator. We stepped out. Nakapulupot ang braso niya sa aking bewang. I smiled nang makasalubong namin si Carl.
"Hi, Mira!" He beamed. Kapitbahay namin siya ni Mika. Tall, dark, and cute siya. Pamangkin siya ng may ari ng apartment building at fourth year college na siya. Lagi ko siyang nakakasalubong kaya nagkakilala kami.
Samuel's fingers tighten on my skin. Tumingin ako sa kanya. Nakaigting ang panga niya. Masama ang tingin niya kay Carl. Ano ang problema nang baklang to?
"Hello, Carl. Kamusta?"
He smiled.
"Okay lang...you look sexy today." He blushed.
Mas humigpit pa ang hawak niya sa bewang ko. Tiningnan ko siya at hinawakan ang kamay niyang nasa bewang ko at pinisil iyon.
"Thank you."
"Ako? hindi mo ko ko-compliment?" Sarkastiko ang tono niya. Higit na mas malaki siya kay Carl at malalim ang boses niya that's why it really sounded intimidating if I were in Carl's place.
Pinisil ko ulit ang kamay niya kaya tumingin siya sa akin. Pinandilatan ko siya at tumingin kay Carl.
"Nagbibiro lang ang kaibigan ko...nice to see you, Carl." I offered a friendly smile. Tumango naman siya at alanganin na tumingin kay Samuel bago siya nagpatuloy na maglakad.
Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mga mata.
"What was that all about Samuel?"
He scoffed.
"Mira? Seriously? Close kayo teh?" Magkasalubong ang mga kilay niya
"Hindi! Almost everybody calls me Mira.tsaka bakit ba ako nage-explain at bakit ka ba galit--"
He cupped my face at siniil niya ako ng mainit at marubdob na halik. He tastes like mint. Nakakaasar, ang sarap niyang humalik.
"Jusko! Mga kabataan talaga ngayon." I abruptly pulled away when I heard a voice behind us.
May matandang babaeng dumaan. She lives on this floor too. I smiled apologetically, she just gave us a judgemental look as she walked away.
Bahagyang tumawa si Samuel. I smacked his hard arm.
"I'm sorry...n-nabwisit lang ako sa pagmumukha nung Cunt na 'yon."
Pinandilatan ko siya.
"Carl, Samuel. Carl hindi Cunt. Gosh!"
"I don't give a fùck about his name."
Napairap na lang ako sa hangin.
Wala na si Mikaezra sa apartment, malamang ay pumasok na siya o nasa bahay pa din siya ni Del Russo. Dumeretso siya sa kitchen samantalang ako naman ay sa banyo. I stripped off my clothes and hopped into the shower.
I sighed in relief nang maramdaman ko ang tubig sa aking balat. Kinuha ko ang sabon and I did my business. I glanced at my legs. I need to shave it.
I reached for the razor. Gòddàmn it, this is a tedious process. Itinapak ko ng mga dalawang talampakan sa dingding ang kanang paa ko. I rubbed the soap until it's bubbling on my skin. Sana hindi ako madulas.
Pinaraan ko ang razor, I turned on the shower and let the water wash the blade.
"Ay pùta!" Muntik na akong ma-out-of-balance nang bumukas ang pinto.
"Pùta agad? Hindi ba pwedeng malandi lang?" Samuel retorted.
I rolled my eyes. I can't help but to laugh.
"Gaga, ba't nandito ka? Nakainom ka na ba ng tubig?" Balewang tanong ko at pinagpatuloy ang pagshe-shave. I tried so hard not to ogle at him as he undressed. I can see him from the side of my eyes.
"Makikiligo syempre."
My mouth parted and looked at him. Nakataas ang isang bahagi ng kanyang labi. Napalunok ako. He's freaking bùtt naked in my bathroom.
"Wag mo sabihing wala kang banyo, Samuel Jonas, you don't even have clothes here!" Pinandilatan ko siya.
He smirked.
"Meron ako sa sasakyan. I got it while you were showering." He replied and walked closer. Ngayon ko lang napansin that he has thin layer of brown pubic hair. His dìck is saluting.
Kinuha niya mula sa akin ang razor.
"Let me do this."
"What?"
Itinaas niya ang razor.
"Let me shave you."
"W-what?"
He stared at me.
"Isa pang what, Miranda. I'll fùck you right here, right now."
I smirked. His jaw clenched.
"Wha--"
He pushed me to the wall and attack my lips. Naglikot ang kamay niya. Hinihingal kong inilayo ang mukha ko.
He licked his lips as he stared at me.
"Wham! Chill! Hindi 'what'...okay? I need to shave, mamaya mo na ako bulabugin at i-fùck."
"I'll do it." He smiled boyishly.
Hindi na ako nag-protesta. He rinsed me and dried me with a towel. Pinaupo niya ako sa nakasaradong toilet, naked. He squatted on the floor and covered my legs with soap and started shaving me. I felt a warm fuzz inside as I watched his focused aura.
My legs are extended as he hold my ankle.
"How did you even know how to do this?" I curiously asked.
Ngumiti siya at tiningnan ako habang pinahid niya ang razor sa towel.
"When I was fifteen..naririnig ko 'yung mga babae sa school na naguusap sa cafeteria about how smooth their legs were, even their pùssy.." He flicked his gaze to my pùssy. His adam's apple bobbed. Tumikhim siya.
He continued shaving me.
"Being gay that I was, I tried it...I shaved my legs and pubes. My god, tumigas 'yung buhok ko sa genitals. I was panicking dahil hindi alam ni Nana na baklita ako that time and what more na nag-shave ako. Hiyang-hiya ako."
I laughed. He smiled.
"Pero natutunan ko na normal iyon...but hindi ko na inulit. Tinuloy ko yung sa legs ko tapos as the time passed by, natuto ako ng mga technique kung paano mag-shave ng walang bumps at burns...kaya madam, asahan mo na smooth ang legs mo!" Pinilantik niya ang mga daliri niya. "But I stopped doing it years ago...ngayon ko lang inulit." He slightly pouted his lips.
I giggled. Gòd, he's cute.
"That's an interesting story...I mean, who would've thought that years later that you're actually gonna shave a woman's legs."
He laughed slightly as he finished my legs.
"There, all done."
Dahan-dahan akong napatango habang tinitingnan ang makinis ko ng mga hita.
"Wow, I'm impressed."
"How about your pussy?" Ngumisi siya.
I shook my head.
"No, I'm having it waxed.."
He grinned wolfishly. Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mga mata.
"Bakla, what are you thinking?"
He didn't answer.
"Ay!" I yelped when he pulled my legs on his shoulders. Napakapit ang isa kong kamay sa sink at ang isa naman ay sa buhok niya.
"Then I'll just eat it." He replied before he buried his face in my pùssy.