KABANATA 23 : COULDN'T
NAGISING ULI ako na nakahiga sa hospital bed, agad na hinanap ng mata ko ang asawa pero wala ito.
"Mom?"Tawag ko kay mommy na nakaupo sa gilid ko at natutulog.
"Anak, how are you?" She asked.
"I'm fine, ang baby ko po? Si Dylan po? How about Grant how is he? He's okay right?" I said, hoping for an answer.
"Your baby is fine, Dylan is with Kendall at the cafeteria, while Grant the police investigator said walang katawan na naiwan sa yate, but may damit roon na sunog na and it was confirmed na sa asawa mo yun."malungkot na sabi ni mom.
"You're joking mommy, Grant is fine!"pamimilit ko.
Yumuko lamang ito sa harapan ko.
Akmang magtatanong uli ako ng may kumatok sa pinto, sumilip sa gilid ang nito ang ulo ni Nikki, she smiled sadly.
"Can i talk to her tita?"She asked mom.
Tumango lamang si mom at iniwan kami.
"How are you?" She asked.
"I'm fine, thank you for helping me by the way." I sincerely said.
"You're welcome, what are friends for?" Nakangiting sabi nito.
May inilapag siyang maliit na paperbag sa kama ko.
"What's this?"i asked.
"It's from your husband."She said.
"Grant? How is he? He's okay right?" Tanong ko ulit.
Gaya din ni mom ay yumuko at hindi mapigilang umiyak.
"I'm sorry, i shouldn't have told him that."Umiiyak na sabi niya.
"Hindi sana siya susunod sa yate kong hindi ko yun sinabi, I'm so sorry Avi, it's my fault."Sisi niya sa sarili.
"Anong bang pinagsasabi mo?" I asked.
"He's gone Avi, wala na ang asawa mo, we didn't find his body dahil siguro na sa kailaliman na iyon ng dagat ang katawan niya."sabi niya.
"Gone? Sinong namatay? Walang namatay Nikki, buhay ang asawa ko kasama ko pa siya nung isang araw, nag away pa nga kami." My tears started to rolled down my cheeks, and the memories of him in that yatch, how the yacht exploded in front of me where he was, all of it is still fresh in my mind.
"What did you say to him?"i asked.
"I told him that it was your aunt's fault why there was an accident in your parent's flight and she causes the death of his father too."Kwento niya.
Death of his father? When did his father died?
"Death of his father? Kailan?" I asked.
"It's the same day when your son got kidnapped."She said.
Those b*tches! Wala silang pinalampas! Mga hayop!
"How about my husband's body? Did they recovered it?" Tanong ko kahit na sinabi niya na kanina i need to prove my theory kung walang katawan may pag-asa pang buhay ang asawa ko.
"They didn't, as what i have told by the police officer na naatasan sa investigation."sabi niya.
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Days, weeks, months and years have past but that memory is still fresh.
Those dark days I've been when he left me, he's gone without even putting up with me, I don't know nawalan na ako nang pag asang hanapin siya.
Maybe this is my karma for the bad things i did, for letting him go without even telling him how much i love him.
It's been 5 years and i am still searching for him, I'm still sailing with my very own yatch that I bought way back a year ago just to find him.
He left me our wedding ring, a letter and a velvet box.
He said in the letter that he is going to marry me again, he'll propose infront of me and kneeled infront of me telling how much he loves me.
That was all his plans for us in the future. And that very day i realize i made a mistake for not giving him another chance to prove himself infront of me, i always push him, i was at fault why he became heartless.
When i left him 9 years ago he search for me the f*cking 4 years, and all i did was to hide and hide my child from him.
He was devastated at that time that he thought he lost himself, he lost his mind but when he brought me in that institute, he said to himself he can still change something.
He wants to rebuild our relationship again, he wants to be with me but it was me who's pushing him away.
I really made the worst mistake in my entire life, i was careless that i didn't think about how he feels, i was only thinking about myself and our child, and leaving him behind.
"How are you my love? It's been 5 years but my heart is still aching." I said, my tears started to rolled down my cheeks.
I smiled bitterly, the soft breeze and fresh air that was brushing against my face and my skin.
"You know, Sly wants to see you but i couldn't tell her about you, please hurry and comeback to me, I'll wait even if it will took many years."
"I missed you so much and i wanted to tell you i love you from the very beginning."
I stared at the sky, nag aagawan na sa langit ang araw at buwan.
I always watch the sunset from here, it became my pill everytime i feel sad or lonely.
I am at the ocean where the yatch explode 5 years ago, marami nang nagbago.
I am now the president of both of our companies, tinu tulungan din naman ako nila mom and dad, Grant's mother is under chemotherapy, she has stage 2 leukemia.
Naghire na rin ako nang magbabantay sa anak ko kapag nagtatrabaho, pero bago ako umuwi dumadaan ako dito para tingan ang paglubog ng araw.
I remember the quote he wrote in his letter.
'you are my sun and i am you're moon, if we collide we create eclipse and that's our childrens.'
I smiled, he's right he can't shine without me, because i am his and he is mine.
And when there is light there must be darkness.
Nang lumubog na ang araw at pumalit na ang kadiliman naisipan ko nang idaong ang yate sa dock.
Nang makadaong ay nagdrive na ako pauwi sa bahay namin.
The house that he decided to renovate ay okay na doon na rin kami nakatira.
When i got home, Sly my daughter approach me.
"Mommy! Saan ka po galing?"she asked.
I kissed her forehead and tap her chubby cheeks.
"I visited someone sweetie, did you already ate your dinner? Where's your kuya Dy?"tanong ko sakanya.
"I'm here mama." He said, Dylan is a bit tall in his age, napaghalataan nga siya minsang teenager dahil sa mature itong kumilos.
And he really looks like his father.
I kissed his cheeks too.
"How are you two? How's school?" I asked saka inilagay ang gamit sa coffee table nang makarating sa sala.
"I am doing my homework po! And look mommy i got stars from my teacher, she said i am good in drawing po."She said.
"Wow, how about you Dy?" Tanong ko.
"I got into a fight."He honestly said.
that's what I like from dylan, He's honest when he's talking to me.
"Who's child did you fought?" I asked.
"Brix Cameron, he's hitting on Thalia kaya sinuntok ko siya." Kwento nito at umupo sa couch.
"Could you finish your homework upstairs sweetie? Mommy's going to talk to kuya."i said.
"Yes po mommy,"sabi niya.
Tinawag ko ang isang kasambahay para samahan ito sa taas.
"Don't get me wrong, the Thalia you were saying is?"
"Tita Kendall's daughter."Sabi niya.
"You like her?" I asked.
"I-i don't! I'm just worried."He said.
"So you like her." Diretsahang sabi ko.
Hindi naman sa against ako sa kanya pero masyado pasyang bata, he's only 9.
"Okay mom, i admit i like her you happy now?"nakasimangot na sabi nito.
"You know she's your tita Kendall's daughter which is my step sister." Sabi ko.
"Yet you two aren't blood related, you didn't came from the same mother nor father."sabi niya.
He's growing, look how fast.
Noon kinakarga ko palamang siya ngayon, he can talk like he is a grown up man.
"I know, but still no girlfriend until college okay?" I said.
"Crush lang naman mama hindi ko naman sinabing liligawan ko."sabi niya.
"Where did you get those words?" Gulat na sabi ko.
"From tito Chad."he said.
Abat lokong yun, makakatikim yun ng suntok sakin mamaya.
"Let's stop this conversation, come on and let's eat, you two haven't eat your dinner yet." Sabi ko, pinababa ko uli si Sly at kumain na kami.
After our dinner i took my half bath para marelax ako sa pag tulog, while i was putting my nightgown i saw a letter na nakapatong sa gilid ng lampshade.
"Until we meet again."basa ko.
Agad na pumasok ang malamig na simoy ng hangin na nagmula sa bintana kahit na isinara ko yun kanina.
Nagmadali akong nagtungo sa bintana at nakita ko ang isang naka jacket na itim, hindi ko tansya kong lalaki ba or babae basta ang alam ko ay nanggaling ito sa bakuran namin.
My eyes widen when realization hits me.
It couldn't be.
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