The fresh smell of the grass has a surprisingly calm effect on me. It promises a new beginning and a serene life. The tiny droplets of dew on a leaf show me how something so small can be so incredibly beautiful. The urge to take a picture is growing; I wish I had my camera with me. The sky spreads above me into distant unknown lands, places I can only imagine. Two small birds fly above me. Free. Liberated. The dress I'm wearing is a simple one. Light blue, high neck, sleeveless. I run my hands through my messy hair and wonder where I am. All this looks too beautiful to actually exist.
From where I come, it probably doesn't.
The sudden heat around my neck, confirms that. I frantically try to turn around, but something is holding me in place. Something as hard as stone. The heat intensifies, burning the cloth and the skin on my neck. Even through my desperate screams - that make my own ears go numb - my fingers try to loosen the tight grip of something leathery around my neck. It only tightens. Hot. So hot. Too hot.
"Meira" Mum shakes my shoulders. Blinking a couple of times, I focus on her face. No sky. No birds. No dew. It was a nightmare. "Meira, are you alright?" She looks at me with concern.
"Yeah, I'm okay." I realise I'm sweating heavily. I miss the freshness from the nightmare.
"It didn't sound okay. It sounded like you were choking." She says pushing my hair away from my face. Her eyebrows have stopped scrunching whenever she looks at my hair. Her classy styles and hair-care instincts clearly haven't been passed down to me, otherwise I'd never have blatantly snapped at my hair in Bansik's lair. But she understands that and even though she hasn't mentioned it, she's waiting for my hair to grow longer so she can take charge. "You have to talk to me," She says. "Please."
I pull myself into a sitting position and stretch my arms so I can give her a hug. "I-I had a nightmare.."
She rubs my shoulders in soothing patterns. I sigh and close my eyes. "Do you want to tell me about it?" She asks softly.
"It felt like I was standing on some sort of hill. Everything was so beautiful. Like a picture. It was peaceful." I tell her in a groggy voice. "The-then suddenly there's something being tied around my neck, and it's s-so hot, it starts burning. It burns this really beautiful dress I was wearing. Someone or something was holding me really t-tight."
Whip. It was a whip around my neck. My nightmares were never this vivid before.
Mum listens patiently through my stuttered, brief description. She pulls away and holds my shoulders. "You were wearing a dress?"
I burst out laughing. Out of everything I just said, that's the only thing she hears. She smiles fondly at me. I'm so glad Mum can make me feel better by not putting me through awkward - at least for me - conversations. She laughs along with me and kisses my forehead. "You sure you want to go to college today?" She says after a while. "You don't have to if you're not feeling alright,"
Wow. My own mother giving me permission to not attend college. If it were any other day, I'd have gladly said yes.
"No, that's okay. I'm fine."
"Alright then. Go get ready."
After thirty minutes, I'm clean amd prepared to see how today will go. The minute I go downstairs, Milan grabs my hand and after a loud 'Bye Mum!' we drive over to Chase's house.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Ewan, Freya and Jessamine had already arrived at Chase's house. They all have packed a small bag and are waiting for Milan and me. Chase's house is like any other house. Not too grandiose, but not too shabby.
Once Milan and I reach, they all look excited and Freya says "Finally!"
"Sorry we're late guys. Milan wanted to stop for ice cream on the way for no reason." I shrug.
"You don't need a reason to stop for ice cream, Meira." Milan rolls his eyes and walks over to sit beside Jessamine.
Before I can go take a seat though, Ewan is hugging me. "It's okay." He says softly. "You're not late at all."
Over his shoulder, everyone looks confused and curious. Why this sudden concern from Ewan? is what they're probably wondering. I also notice Chase's jaw tense.
I pull away, laughing awkwardly and take my seat next to Freya. Ewan is being sweet to me and all I'm wishing for right now is that he forgets about what happened yesterday. I'd rather pretend like nothing happened.
"So," Freya breaks the silence. "What are we doing today?"
"Yeah, I'm really excited! I've never done this before." Jessamine adds.
"I thought we could go bowling," Milan says.
"Too risky." Chase shakes his head. "We could just watch some movies till noon.."
"Really Chase? We're bunking college to watch a movie? That's so badass." Freya doesn't even try to hide her sarcasm.
"Okay fine." Chase grumbles. "We can do something else."
"No, we can actually do that. We can watch movies till noon, and then go bowling, since the bowling place won't be open so early." Ewan suggests.
"And we can come back before college ends." Milan grins. "That's figured then. I'll go get the food. Chase go pick out some movies." Milan starts ordering people as he walks towards the kitchen.
"Meira, come help me?" Chase asks, and not waiting for my reply, he simple grabs my hand and drags me towards his room. I follow him gladly. Now I can ask him why he's going back to the U.S. in private.
"Aren't your parents going to be home though?" I ask, as we walk down a narrow corridor.
"Nope. Mom will be home only at night." I don't miss how he didn't mention his dad. He stops in front of a door, which I presume is his room. "So we have the whole house to ourselves."
Chase's room is like a typical boy's room. His walls are white but you can barely see them through all the movie posters and bookshelves. He has so many books. Chase is a reader and it makes me smile. There is a window to the right, overlooking his backyard. I look at Chase. With the abundant morning light flowing in through the window, Chase looks gorgeous. I turn back to the window, to hide my flaming cheeks.
"So what do you think?" He asks.
I stare at him, confused. "About what?"
He uses his right hand to sweep through the air, gesturing at the room. "My room,"
I laugh. "It looks like a normal room." What else am I supposed to say? 'It looks wonderful!' Or 'It looks so perfect, I feel like I'm in heaven!' All that sounds pretentious.
Chase chuckles and squats in front of his bed. From underneath, he pulls out a grey box. Sitting closer to me than I expected, he opens the box. Inside are a variety of CDs. I notice a lot of them are the same ones that Milan has. Action, sci-fi, mystery, horror movies. I look up to find him looking at me. His eyes are so intense, I can't find it in myself to look at anything else.
"You're leaving?" The words leave my mouth without permission.
He sighs. "Yeah." He runs his long, slender fingers through his hair, tempting me to reach over and do the same. "I only came here for three years, because my mom had some work. Once she's done I have to go back to the U.S."
"When?"
"A month after Christmas break."
I look away with a lot of difficulty. It hurts inside, but I can't say it out loud. What if he doesn't feel the same? Whatever I had with him - or thought I had with him - is being cut too short. I should have probably crushed the emotions down the minute I realised what they were.
His hand slowly reaches over to mine and holds them gently. I look up, startled, only to find him looking at my fingers. He runs his thumb across the back of my palm. My eyes want to close, but I refuse to let them.
"Will you miss me?" He asks softly.
I wait for him to look up at me and then say, "More than anything else."
His eyes smile at mine. They come closer and closer and closer. So do his lips. His eyes are asking for permission and as a consent I lean forward.
The texture of a feather can't beat the softness of his lips. I can feel the contours of his hand on my face, his lips on my lips, like they're a different language. At first, he only presses them softly. Once he realises I'm in no hurry to go anywhere, he gently pulls my upper lip between his. I am so lost in the sensations that I can't even respond. He pulls me close. His legs intertwine with mine and I can feel his chest against mine.
So this is what kissing feels like. Like the waves thrashing against the rocks. Like a leaf falling from a tree. Like the soft purr of a cat. Like the incredible strength of gravity.
I pull away and take in a deep breath. He rests his forehead against mine and grins so wide, I can see all his teeth. "I've wanted to do that for so long."
No matter how much I try, my lips just refuse to form a smile for him. His expression falls and he lets go of me. Outside, I can hear someone coming. Loud footsteps.
"You didn't like that?" He asks. He looks so hurt.
"You're leaving, Chase," I can feel my lower lip trembling as I speak. "What am I supposed to do when you're gone?"
The door is thrown open and Milan barges in.
"What the fuck Meira?" My attention snaps up to him. He sounds beyond angry. His palms are clenched and they're shaking. He strides over to the bed and pushes a very surprised Chase away from me.
Oh no. Is he being an over-protective brother?
Milan roughly grabs my wrists and looks at them. Oh. Ewan told him. I pull my hands away from him. At least Ewan waited for a day. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" He doesn't scream, but his words accomplish the effect he wants. I wince at his language and stand up. "I'm your brother, for fuck's sake. I have to hear it from Ewan?"
Chase stands up too. "What's going on Milan?"
"So now you're hiding stuff from me?" Milan ignores Chase. I walk over to the window and stare down at the backyard. "Answer me!" He finally raises his voice.
"Whoa, hey man. Relax," Chase tries to calm him down. "What happened?"
Milan describes everything to Chase. I can hear Chase's sharp intake of breath. Milan emphasises on assault, blindfolded, school and injured. It does sound scary when he says it.
After he's done, no one says a word. It's so silent. For a second I think they've left the room. But they're still on the bed, staring at me. I sigh and sit in between them.
Just moments ago I had the most beautiful experience of my life. And now Milan and Chase look like they're angry at me.
"What I don't understand is," Milan turns, facing me and says. "Why you had to feel the need to hide it. Can you please tell me that?"
I stare at Milan. I feel like there's a lot of staring going on. "It's just that...I don't like being looked at like I'm weak o-or like I'm stupid. I got away once, I'm sure I can do it again."
"Whether you can get away or not is not the issue right now." Milan says.
Simultaneously Chase says,"Except you didn't get away. Ewan was there. You just got lucky the first time."
There's a loud silence for a couple of seconds, I feel like my ears are going numb.
"What did you say?" It comes out as a hiss.
"I-I just..." Chase looks everywhere at me. How can he say that I got lucky the first time? "I didn't mean that." He looks at me, but I don't. "I'm sorry."
"Having been almost shot, is not lucky. Having a knife rip your fucking jaw apart is not lucky. And there sure as fuck isn't anything lucky about being whipped everyday." I can't control the rage that's threatening to flow out in large waves. "If that's your idea of lucky, then that's messed up, Chase."
Slamming the door as hard as I can, I make my way downstairs. I don't think I can stand to be here another second. But there's no where to go. I sit down between Freya and Jessamine, and ignore everything they're saying or doing.
I'm surprised that the tears haven't begun yet.
Or maybe I can't feel it and my friends are deliberately being oblivious to it.
About ten minutes later, Milan and Chase come down too, with a DVD of Transformers. As the movie starts playing, I can hear their comments about the movie. They stress on the fact that it was directed by Michael Bay. Very critical, and even insulting. But Ewan and Jessamine argue. Finally Milan says, "Just shut up and watch the movie."
Throughout the movie, no one says anything. About forty-five minutes later, I stop paying attention. Chase's stares hit the side of my head like rocks but I refuse to look at him. The electricity and all those feelings when I kissed him course through me. Like it happened only seconds ago.
Maybe I overreacted. He was probably just saying what he thought. He was being honest. It hurts, but it's his opinion. He wasn't there, so he doesn't know. I can't blame him for being harsh. Maybe he got tired of my issues and wanted things to be normal.
Or maybe he was angry that I hadn't shown any enthusiasm after the kiss.
Not being able to take his stares anymore, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Only I don't know where it is. It took around five minutes to find it. Walking inside, I stare at myself in the square mirror. Why don't I have the power that's always prominent in Milan's face. He's in control of his actions and their consequences. I'm jealous.
Groaning in frustration, I punch the slab beneath my hand. All these emotions are so confusing. If only I had a way to filter them and feel only what I want.
"I'm sorry." Chase says from behind me. I look up into the mirror. He's by the door, looking apologetic.
"I'm sorry." I say looking him right in the eye.
He comes closer shutting the door, still looking at me in the mirror. "Why are you sorry?"
"I overreacted."
My heart beats faster. We're alone in a bathroom. Chase hesitantly puts his arm on my waist and pulls me close. "I didn't think straight. It's my mistake."
My hands find their way to his shoulders. "Let's just forget about it," His lips look increasingly tempting by the second. I lean forward and kiss them. Chase respond immediately. One of his hands moves up to my neck and the other one cups my chin.
Wincing, I pull away for a second. Bansik's knife left quite an impression. The scar remains, hurting frequently. Chase holds my jaw more gently and pushes it slightly upward.
He didn't say a word, but his jaw hardens. That sculptured jaw. I want to kiss every inch of it.
But he beats me to it. His soft lips caress the spot where Bansik drilled his knife as his hand pushes my chin further upwards.
A gasp leaves my mouth involuntarily. A shiver runs down my arms. He doesn't stop. I bury my fingers in his hair and forget about the fact that he's leaving. He's here now and I'm alive. That's all that matters.
Heyo. They finally made out :')
That's Chase in the picture. Because Dave Franco's jaw is irresistible. Hope you like this chapter. Let me know.
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- nymisha