ROBYN STOPS THE car in front of Sebastian's house, parking next to the curb. She looks over and smiles at me, all bubbles. I was happy to see that the events of last week weren't weighing her down as much it was me. "You're sure you wanna do this?"
I nod even though my face is chiseled in a grimace. "I have to," I murmur. "I'd do anything for him."
"Right," Robyn agrees. "Because you're in love with him."
I don't even have it in me to be surprised she knows. "How could you even possibly know?"
Robyn giggles. "You're such an open book, Bray-bear. Or maybe I just know you. Look, if this is what you've gotta do, do it. Ash won't be very happy about it, though."
"I know," I mumble and then take a deep breath. "Okay, I'm going in. Wish me luck?
She leans over and kisses my cheek. "You don't need it."
I climb out of her front seat and sink my feet into the pavement. My heart thuds as I get closer to Sebastian's door. I raise a hand and knock softly.
A few moments pass and I consider running back to Robyn when suddenly the door swings open.
Victor's brown eyes stare back at me, confusion in them. "Braylen. Hi."
I offer him a weak smile. "I, um. Came here to talk to you. And Rachel. Is she here?"
"Getting some drinks with her girl friends. Would you like to come in?" he asks, giving me a friendly smile. "We can talk in there."
I nod and he turns around and walks into the house. I follow him, shutting the door behind me and follow him into the kitchen. Victor pours a glass of water and hands it to me. "Thanks," I mumble, running my fingernail along the rim.
"I'm very sorry for my wife's behavior the last time we all met. It came as a bit of a shock and—"
"Is she homophobic?" I blurt, glancing at him. Victor sighs once but I don't even give him the opportunity to speak. "I meant what I said. Although it was harsh, it was all true. Sebastian and I didn't ask to be this way. And I'm not here to apologize for it, either."
Victor runs a hand over his chin. "What are you here for, then?"
I sigh. "I have known him for eight years. I have watched him grow up, get in trouble. I've seen him happy and I've seen him in pain but Victor, it wasn't until I got close to him that I saw that he was broken. There's so many things he's been through all alone simply because he felt he couldn't come to you guys. I'm not trying to tell you how to parent your child—"
"You are, though," Victor interjects with an amused smile. The smile quickly leaves his face and he takes in a breath. "I always wanted a son, you know. Wanted to take him fishing, golfing, play football in the park. Almost had all of that, too. My ex-wife Kelly was pregnant with a boy."
I frown. "What happened?"
Victor smiles sadly. "Miscarriage," he whispers. "Yeah. It came out of nowhere. We tried to fix ourselves after that but there's certain things couples go through that just split them apart completely.
"But then I met Rachel. And she had a boy, a young, angsty boy and she thought I'd be a good influence on him. Long before we even got married," he continues. "We used to go on family trips every other weekend. He hated them. There hasn't been a day he hasn't looked at me with complete hatred in his eyes."
I shake my head. "He doesn't hate you, Victor."
He chuckles. "It's crazy how life works, isn't it? All I've ever wanted was a son and when I finally get one he can hardly stand me."
"It's not that," I murmur. "He has a hard time letting people in."
"You seemed to crack his shell just fine," Victor argues.
I shrug. "Well, I've known him longer. And it still took me eight years."
Victor and I laugh and he crosses over to the kitchen table, leaning against it. "You're not from Malibu. You weren't born from wealth, am I wrong?"
I shake my head. "I had a rough childhood, yeah. Sometimes my mom and I slept in our car because we were so broke."
Victor nods his head. "Is it weird that I envy you that?"
"You wish you grew up poor?"
Victor chuckles. "I wish I grew up real. I was practically born with a silver spoon in my mouth. As was Rachel, as was Sebastian. I'm sure you have your own opinions on people like us."
I bite my lip. "Sebastian says stuff like that a lot. How even though he was born with all this money and stuff, he was never truly happy."
"There are always worse things," Victor voices. "But the money and the name and the cars and champagne...after a while, what does it mean? That we're lucky? Spoiled? Happy? I think Sebastian was right. None of that stuff ever makes anybody happy."
I swallow a sip of the water. "I think he could be. If somebody just gave him a chance."
Victor raises an eyebrow. "What exactly is going on, here?"
I set my jaw, knowing I was walking right into the fire.
"We need your help."
€
Sebastian taps his leg nervously underneath the table. I reach and grab his knee, forcing him to stop. "You're going to make a hole in the floor if you keep doing that," I say with a cheeky grin.
He scoffs once and turns his head away from me. "Just nervous."
"I know," I murmur. We had scheduled a meeting with Aunt Amanda to talk about the next steps for Sebastian. What he didn't know was that it wasn't just going to be Oba and us.
Sebastian sighs again and loops our fingers together underneath our table, squeezing them gently. He lifts up our adjoined hands and kisses my still bruised knuckles. "How do you feel?" he asks.
I give him a toothy grin. "Rugged."
Sebastian laughs. "No, seriously."
I shrug once. "Head hurts sometimes and my body is sore, but I'm okay. This finger splint makes me look cool, too," I say, holding up my opposite hand. I use it to brush away hair from his forehead. "And what about you?"
"All good," he mumbles, and it was mostly true. The bruises around his eye were turning yellow and he hadn't had too many detrimental injuries on account of him being an actual decent fighter. "Where'd you go yesterday? I came over but your aunt said you'd gone out with Robyn."
I balk. "About that..."
The doorbell rings and I feel my heart palpate in my chest. Oba crosses over from the kitchen to the front door, wiping her hands on her apron. "Were we expecting anyone?" Sebastian murmurs.
I open my mouth but no words come out. Oba pulls open the door and Victor walks in, Rachel tailing behind her. "Good evening, Ms. Adams," he mumbles.
It's instant. Sebastian's fingers go numb in my hand. I look over to him. His face is incredulous. "You told them?" he spits, breaking up our grip.
"Sebastian, I—"
"No, Braylen. I trusted you, okay? I can't believe you did this to me; I can't believe you brought them here!"
He stands up and starts walking to go upstairs. I stand up too, face heated. "Sebastian, I didn't do this to you. I did it for you."
He scoffs, turning around and glaring at me. "Some things you can't fix, Braylen. You don't know everything and you don't know that they can even help me."
"I know that I love you!" I shout. Sebastian's face clouds over and I watch him swallow painfully. That wasn't a good time to tell him, clearly. Maybe over a candlelit dinner or a cuddling session, but certainly not in front of both of our families and in the middle of a fight.
Sebastian runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "It doesn't matter," he whispers.
Pain pricks at my heart. How could it not matter? "It matters to me. You matter to me. And I'm done sitting here and watching you self destruct like this. Let us help you."
"Sebastian," Victor interjects. "I know we've had our differences and I know you don't trust me, but like it or not everyone in this room loves you. We just want you to be happy."
"Everyone in this room doesn't love me, Victor," he rasps, lifting his arms dejectedly. "Admit it, Mom. You wish Dad was alive and it was me who was gone."
Rachel's eyebrows furrowing as she steps closer to her son. "That's not true at all," she whispers, reaching out to grab his hand. He moves away and she sighs. "I love you to pieces, Ash."
He shakes his head. "Then why...why are you always away? Why can you barely even look at me? Why can't you accept that I'm not who you want me to be?"
"Every time I look at you, I see him," she whispers, eyes watering with tears. "The anger and the joy and the fire behind your eyes...all of that is just so Ezra. When he died, I know I pushed you away. By the time I was able to not break down every time I thought about your father it was too late. You didn't need me anymore."
Sebastian's eyes turn glossy. "I always needed you, Mom," he gets out, voice thick with emotion.
Rachel smiles, laughing surprisedly. "I know I didn't react well to the news of you and Braylen. It was only a shock; I want nothing more than your happiness, son."
"Things don't have to be perfect between us all," Victor says with a broad grin. "But we can try, right? Starting now."
Sebastian sniffs, walking back over to the table. He pulls back out his chair and sits down. "What's the plan?"
There's a collective sigh of relief from everyone in the room. My pulse thunders in my wrist as I slide into the seat next to him again. He glances back at me once with an unreadable expression. "The plan is you tell us everything," Victor responds and Sebastian looks back over at him.
Sebastian sighs deeply before launching into the story. He tells them everything; about sleeping with Aaron, getting into drugs, all the fights he'd been in. He opted out talking about Mackintosh, which I couldn't exactly blame him for. He'd already shared more than I ever thought possible.
When he's done, I can see the shame on his face. I don't comment on it; I knew he wouldn't want me to. "That's everything?" Rachel asks, eyebrows raised.
Sebastian nods once. "That's everything."
Rachel reaches forward and grabs Sebastian's hand. "This isn't for you to worry about anymore, okay? We're going to take care of everything."
There's a silence and then tears well in Sebastian's eyes. "Really?" he whimpers, voice sounding like he was young and old at the same time. He was exhausted. "You mean that?"
Rachel nods with a smile, patting his head. "I promise. It's going to be okay."
Rachel pulls Sebastian into a hesitant hug. I watch as he tenses up before wrapping his arms around his mother, shoulders relaxing. Rachel looks at me from over his shoulder and grins. "Thank you," she mouths.
I nod with a small smile. Oba is smiling too as the pair pull apart. "Can I interest either of you in a cup of tea? Coffee?"
Victor shakes his head. "No, thank you. We've got lots of work to do. Sebastian. Are you going to be coming home soon?"
His face pales a bit. "I—"
"No rush," Victor adds with a sad smile. "I understand that these bonds will take time to rebuild. It's okay."
Sebastian's shoulders relax. "Thank you, Victor."
He offers him another smile and then grabs his wife's hand. I watch as the two of them walk out of the house, arms wrapped around each other in what looked to be hope.
I bite my lip as the door shuts behind Sebastian's parents. He avoids my eyes completely, looking at his hands instead. Something inside of me deflates.
"Oba?" I murmur, turning to her. "Could you give us a minute?"
She nods once, noticing the tension between us. I watch as she walks up the stairs and take a deep breath. "So are we gonna talk about it or are we just going to sit there in brooding silence?"
I knew I was being unfair but I couldn't really stop myself. I was angry with him, too.
"Learned it from you," he deadpans, still not looking at me. "I can't believe you told them."
I slap my hands on the table. "Why? Because it's so hard to believe that somebody wants to make sure you get as much help as you can? It's so hard to believe that somebody loves you?"
Sebastian shoots straight up out of his seat, breathing deeply. "Just stop! Stop trying to fix me and stop saying that you love me!"
My breath catches in my throat. "Why?" I croak, standing up in front of him. He steps back instinctively every step I take towards him. My heart thumps rapidly in my chest. "Sebastian, I know you don't believe it but that's how I feel."
"It's not," he argues.
"It is!" I yell back. "I love you, Sebastian. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but I will never lie about how I feel about you. I'm in love with you."
Sebastian chuckles harshly, rubbing his chin with his hands. "This wasn't...this was a mistake."
I dig my fingernails into my palm, breathing deeply to fight back tears. "What was?"
"This!" he shouts, motioning his hands all around. "Us. This was a mistake, Braylen."
My breath hitches completely in my throat. I could feel the desperation welling up in my chest, could feel the loneliness I'd felt after everything with Hayley finding out about us. Tears spring in my eyes and I choke back a sob. "No, don't do this, Sebastian," I get out, voice thick with emotion. "You can't, you promised you'd..."
I pause, cutting myself off. He hadn't promised me anything. I'd been the one to make all the promises to him. He didn't promise me anything.
Was that his way out all along?
"I'm going to go," he mumbles, seemingly numb to the desperation in my voice. "I just need some time...away from you. Away from this."
I feel anger bubble up in my chest. "You don't get to do this again, Sebastian. You can't just disappear on me. I gave up so much for you. Okay? I defended you and protected you and loved you. You can't just do this!"
"Just stop yelling, please," he whispers, shutting his eyes.
I shake my head even though he can't hear me. Stepping forward, I lace my fingers though his. His eyes remain shut. "I have to do this," he whispers. "You don't understand it now but you will someday."
"That's a load of bull."
Sebastian let's out a shaky breath, scrunching his nose so as not to cry. "You shouldn't have to defend or protect me, Braylen. Do you not see how messed up everything is?"
"I don't care," I murmur. "It's over now. You're safe now. We're safe now."
His piercing blue eyes are suddenly staring directly at me. A shiver runs down my back. "Don't say that ever again. You are never going to be safe as long as you're with me, Braylen. Do you understand that?"
"But—"
"But nothing. You want me to be perfect. Kind, sober, good. But I'm not always that. What happens if I relapse again? If I hurt you and disappear again?" he hisses, anger evident in his tone.
I swallow hard. My stomach turned even at the possibility of getting a call that Sebastian was seizing, the thought of him disappearing on me again. I control my face so that he doesn't see the worry. "Well, then I guess we'll just have to figure it out. Together."
Sebastian scoffs humorlessly. "Are you even hearing yourself?" he hisses. I watch as the anger dissipates until all that's left is sheer pain. "I'm ruining you, Braylen. Why can't you see that?"
I'm instantly brought back to the night we'd kissed, the way we both knew we'd ruined the friendship we'd built. "Maybe I needed a little ruining," I whisper, voice cracking. His eyes flash in pain in remembrance of the words. "You can't just do this. I need you."
Sebastian's hands wound themselves around my cheeks, his thumbs rubbing circles against the skin. "I'm so sorry."
And then, before I can say anything more to convince him to do anything but this, he turns on his heel and stalks out of the door.
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so...how y'all doing?