"Stay still."
"You're hurting me."
"I won't be hurting you if you just stayed still."
"Rocky!" Will yelled.
"Will!" Rocky responded just as loud, making me smile from my seat on Rocky's bed, watching as Rocky attempted to put eyeshadow on her.
The day of the dance finally came and we successfully got Will on board. She wasn't happy with any of it, but she was going. She was so hesitant about the whole thing that she was the last one out of the group to be ready. Nicki and Kaylen were already downstairs snacking on whatever was in the kitchen and talking to Andre and his girlfriend, Vanessa, while I decided to stay and watch.
Will definitely provided me with my pre-dance entertainment.
"There, now I'm done." Rocky smiled, taking a step back, Will instantly trying to jump out of her seat. "You need lipstick, where are you trying to go?!"
A groan escaped her lips as she settled back into her chair.
"Why are you so against this?" I asked. "You can't hate all of this that much."
"It feels uncomfortable." She expressed. "And everyone's gonna make a big deal about it."
"No, they won't." Rocky insisted. "Everybody's gonna be dressed up. They would make a big deal about it if you weren't." She swiftly applied the lipstick to Will's lips. "Look." Grabbing her hand, she pulled her up to look in the mirror. "You look beautiful. Who's gonna hate on that?"
I smiled as I watched Will look at herself in her form-fitting but simple black dress and matching heels. Her hair was straightened and reached a little past her shoulder. She looked like a whole other person. And I knew that deep down, somewhere, she liked it.
"Whatever. Where are the boys? Let's get a move on." Will spoke as soon as a smile presented itself on her face.
"Yo! Where y'all at they're here!" Nicki yelled up to us.
"Let's roll out," I spoke, grabbing my bag and making my way out of the room.
The whole finding dates thing was a hard case to sell to them. So we just decided to go together as a group, along with Quincy's group of friends, and work it that way.
I made my way into the living room, seeing the boys inside, and chatting with Rocky's Mom, Anetta.
"Oh my God," Vanessa spoke, making me pause as everyone's eyes were on me. Only to look behind me, seeing it was Will who was stealing the show. "Will, you look amazing!"
"Do I really have to do this?" She whined, looking at us.
"Yes!" Everyone yelled back. Anetta instantly started to snap pictures with her camera, wanting to get all the good angles so she could get them developed and give all of us copies.
"You look beautiful." Quincy smiled at me as he came to my side.
"Thanks." My eyes averted to my black heels seeing it went well with the wine color of the dress I had on with its matching shawl. "You look good too." I complimented, meeting his eyes once more.
"I thought I did. But standing next to you, I'm looking a little rough."
"Liar." I bit back a smile.
The two of us posed happily for Anetta's pictures. And all of us were on our way after a couple group shots. Music blasting as we cruised down the street, ready to have the best night.
🖤
After pulling up to school, I was surprised at the amount of commotion that was happening outside the building rather than inside. Rap music blared from someone's car speakers as Quincy helped me out of the car.
The group of us just talked to each other as we walked to the front doors, not interested in whatever was going on on the other side of the parking lot.
"Aye there my little bad ass go!"
Nico.
I just ignored him, continuing to walk forward. There was no way I was gonna let him ruin this for me.
"Mini Kelly in the red!" He added, making me instantly freeze. Letting go of Quincy's hand, I turned around, looking at him with my arms crossed. "Yo. Trust me. That shit ain't nothing compared to what went down in the Heights." He raised his liquor bottle to me. "Should've recruited your ass for how much money you made me."
My blood ran cold.
It was only then that it hit me that the same man who got some nigga to attack me, tried to kill my brother, and made me rob a party, didn't owe me his secrecy. As much as I wanted to keep it to myself, now that it was all behind us what was the point? No one got hurt, no one died.
His hands were clean.
And he could hold that over me for as long as he wanted. Forget self sabotage, he had that covered.
"Let's go." I commanded, turning around and leading the pack to the doors, all of us starting to hand in our tickets.
"Janae."
"We're already late and I'm not tryna miss the good songs." I spoke, not even daring to look back as I speed walked towards the gym.
"Janae."
"I can hear Janet." I commented enthusiastically.
"Janae Thalia Williams!" Nicki basically yelled, making me finally stop. I slowly turned to them as Will opened the door of an empty classroom.
"Get the fuck in here."
I took a deep breath before walking inside the room, all of them piling in after me, Jaleel guarding the door while I leaned against the teacher's desk in the front.
"Wanna explain what the fuck that just was?" Quincy spoke as they all stared me down. "The truth would be great."
"Nico was tryna get at Calvin for the whole Jaden situation, and I handled it." I simply responded.
"You handled it by lying to us." Kaylen quipped. "I knew her ass didn't go to a damn party just to go out of nowhere." Her eyes looked at Nicki, who nodded in agreeance.
"What else was I supposed to do?" I asked them.
"Tell somebody! Tell us!" Will shouted.
"He was gonna shoot Calvin!" I shouted in defense, stunning them to silence. "He told me to tell Calvin to chill and next thing I know he's almost fighting Jaden again and I didn't have any options! So I did what I had to do, I was protecting y'all, so please don't look at me like an idiot cause we all know what he's capable of!"
"You should've told us." Nicki argued.
"And you would've miraculously did something to stop the shit?" I crossed my arms. "What would you have done?"
"Made sure you weren't fucking alone Janae!" Nicki was quick to match my tone. "He came at you 'cause you were vulnerable. If any one of us would've been around we would've had your back and you ain't even give us the opportunity!"
I stayed silent for a moment, not knowing what to say when the facts were presented to me that way. Leading me to say what I never wanted to admit out loud. "I was scared."
"Yeah, so we were when I couldn't tell your Mom one damn thing about your whereabouts while she fucking cried, Janae." Rocky brought up.
"Are y'all done putting all this on me?" I asked, the conversation starting to take on an emotional toll on me.
After convincing myself to secrecy, finally letting them in, meant finally facing the fact that I let them down. And I felt the weight without them having to tell me it themselves.
"Yes." Kaylen sighed coming forward and hugging me. "I'm just glad you're okay." The rest of the girls joined in. Their actions warmed my heart seeing they weren't gonna hold this over me.
"Just don't do it again." Rocky instructed.
"I promise I won't." I managed to smile.
The moment was broken by the sound of the door opening and slamming closed. And I remembered one person had yet to get their two cents in.
"Quincy!" I called after him quickly rushing to the door and down the hall after him. "Quincy! We can talk about this!" I reached for him, grabbing his arm. "Talk to me. Please."
"Janae." He sighed.
"You have to understand why I did what I did." I spoke through my oncoming tears in the poorly lit hallway. "You have to. I'm not a bad person, Q, I swear. Look at me." I placed my hand on his cheek, trying to get his eyes on me. "Look."
"Don't cry." He frowned as he looked at me, seeing my watery eyes.
"I wanted to tell you. But I love you and I know how you get and I couldn't do that to you. I was about to lose Calvin, I didn't wanna lose you too." I couldn't control the tears running down my cheeks. "I love you so much."
Quincy wiped my cheeks softly. "Stop crying. It's okay."
"You're upset with me. You're disappointed in me."
"Baby, I'mma need you to calm down." He calmly spoke, holding my face in his hands, and I just took a deep breath. "We'll talk about this later. Right now, I'm tryna have a good night. You tryna have a good night?" I nodded my head. "Then will you please get it together, for me?"
"Okay." I whispered.
"Okay." He agreed, wiping my cheeks once more. He helped me get myself together before we rejoined everyone, all of us once again being on the same page.
Determined to enjoy the night for what it was.
🖤
The night got increasingly better as it went on. We talked, laughed, had a great time on the dance floor, and took the snack table by storm
But Quincy was off.
No matter how much we made him smile and laugh. How many times I sat on his lap and told him I loved him or danced with him, there was a little part of him that wasn't in it, and I could feel it.
The hopeful part of me thought that the more I kept him on the dance floor and distracted the more he would let whatever was bothering him go.
"I love you." I smiled as we swayed together.
"Love you too." He responded.
"I got you something." I admitted with some excitement.
"You got me something?" He raised a curious eyebrow.
"Yeah. It's in my purse. Want me to go get it?"
I was waiting for the perfect time to hand him the watch that I'd been saving up to get him every since he gave me the 'Q' necklace after Christmas. I just hoped he liked it for him as much as I did.
"You don't have to get me anything. Or do anything for me." He told me. "Why would you get me something?"
"You know I would do anything for you, stop talking like that." My hand went to his cheek.
He sighed. "Nae, that's the problem."
"Problem?" I repeated both of us stopping our movements.
"You keep things from me because you say you wanna protect me. You got yourself basically kidnapped and-"
"We talked about this." I injected. "I thought we were good."
"I don't think I can do this." He breathed.
"What?" My face faltered as I stared at him.
This is not happening.
"You're so busy trying to be everyone's superhero but you don't even think and realize how I feel. Our relationship isn't what I thought it was gonna be."
"Quincy."
"You don't give me a chance to be there for you, you just rather lie and tell me everything fine meanwhile I feel like shit because I know you're not okay and I can't do anything. You don't need me, not like I need you."
"That's not true. You know that's not true. Quincy, stop. I need you."
"I don't think you do." He let my body go completely.
"I know you're mad about Nico but-"
"This isn't just about Nico. This is about everything. I've been feeling like this for months. And I've given you time to fix it. I've given you chances to come clean. You can't just sleep with me and think I'll forget what we were fighting about, Janae."
"Baby please. Don't do this." I begged, reaching for his hand only for him to move it out of my reach.
"I don't wanna do this anymore." He softly spoke. "I'm done."
"Quin- baby." I spoke, taking steps forward as he walked away. My hand running down my face as I let out a breath.
The sound of a crash was the only thing that kept me from chasing after him. I turned around, seeing Rocky on the floor and Will trying to help her up. My feet took me in that direction instead. Rocky laughing her head off as Will successfully got her up.
"What's going on?" I demanded noticing that Rocky didn't look too good.
"Some bitch spiked the punch and this girl had like 10 glasses." Will informed me.
"Fuck." I bit my lip, trying to think fast. Wrapping my arm around Rocky's body, I stood at the other side of her."Here. Let's get her to the table."
"No! What are you doing?! This is my jam!" Rocky exclaimed.
"Shhh." I put my finger to my lip and helped her over to the table where she almost fell out of the seat after we put her in it.
"Oh shit." Will spoke as we caught her.
"Go. I got this." I said as I moved next to Rocky.
"No. The hell?" Will pulled a face, not liking the idea.
"Somebody wants your attention." I told her, pointing out Leon from across the room who was looking our way. Will just turned around to see it for herself.
She turned back to me, contemplating for a couple seconds. "Are you sure?"
"Positive." I nodded. "Go have fun." I encouraged with a smile
"I owe you." Will smiled before rushing off, not wanting to be a drunk babysitter as much as I did.
"What's wrong with me?" Rocky asked, looking at me.
"You're fine, baby girl, just rest." I patted her shoulder softly. My eyes went to the dance floor, watching everyone have a good time. I just kicked off my heels and got comfortable.
This was gonna be a long night.
🖤
"It's okay. Just let it out." I soothed, rubbing Rocky's back as her head hung in the toilet seat.
After chasing her around the gym, talking her down from screaming all of Aaliyah's 'Back and Forth', and sitting with her, we finally ended up in the girls bathroom, some of the alcohol in her system trying to fight it's way out.
Nicki and Kaylen were having the best time dance battling each other in the crowd and Will disappeared with Leon so lord knows what they were up to.
And there I was, sitting on the bathroom floor, listening to Raquel cry as she threw up 'cause she was scared at the fact she was throwing up.
"I don't like this." She spoke, sniffling as she lifted up her head looking at me.
"I know, me too." I agreed. "You done?"
"I hope so." She adjusted herself to sit next to me. And I just reached over for some toilet paper, wiping her lip softly before throwing it in the toilet and flushing it. "Can I go home with you?" She asked, resting her head on my shoulder.
"Why?"
"I don't wanna go home feeling like this." Her voice broke as she spoke, and it wasn't long before I felt the liquid of her tears on my shoulder.
She was a fucking mess.
I looked up to the ceiling, closing my eyes, not helping but start to cry in my own right.
I didn't want to go home feeling like this either.
Heartbroken and alone.