Alex hadn't slept in three days. He would toss and turn each night, slumped in an anxious mess against his pillows, watching his clock slowly make its way to 6am. His eyes felt heavy, his limbs ached, but each time he drifted off, all he could hear were gun shots, loud and clear as if they were firing right at him. His body would shake awake, and he'd be rendered a mess for the rest of the night.
This had been standard daily procedure since the shooter drill three days ago, where his heart had been in his mouth, his mind flashing back to the god awful night two years ago that he begged he'd forget again. Ever since, he felt traumatised, his brain working overtime as he tried to calm his own distress. No matter what he did, it wasn't good enough. He couldn't sleep, and at this rate, he'd never sleep again.
"Hey, you okay?" He felt a hand lay softly on his shoulder, pulling him back from his drift as they sat in the cafeteria. "You've not even touched your lunch Alex." Charlie St. George, was nothing less than an actual saint, smiling sadly at Alex as he offered him his Twinkie. "I know your mum makes you eat all that freeform organic shit, so you can have this if you want?" He chuckled slightly, placing it on Alex's tray for the older boy to take.
"Not hungry." Alex muttered in a deflating tone. He let out a heavy sigh, pushing his tray away from him. "Thank you though." He mustered up a small smile, gently placing his hand on the other boy's in gratitude.
Charlie smiled, rubbing small circles into his palm. "You don't seem yourself." He pursed his lips in concern, eyeing Zach and Jessica as they sat across from them watching with a worried stance.
Alex shook his head, anxiously playing with Charlie's fingers as he tried to calm his nerves. He didn't want the person he was growing to like to think he was an even bigger freak. It wasn't normal to still be traumatised from a flipping drill, he was fucked up, much too fucked for the likes of Charlie St. George.
"Come on Alex, we've all seen it man, you look like death warmed up right now." Zach weighed in, quickly quietened by Jessica as she proceeded to kick him under the table. "What!? I'm just saying what we're all thinking!" He proceeded, smiling sadly at Alex as the frail boy rolled his eyes.
"Guys, seriously I'm fine okay, I'm fine, I just want to be alone for a bit." He pulled his grip away from Charlie, wobbling as he stood. He could feel another panic attack coming on, and he needed to get some fresh air pronto. He grabbed his bag, refusing to look behind as Charlie called his name in concern.
"He's definitely not fine." Jessica bit her lip, emptying the contents of Alex's lunch tray onto hers to be cleared. "Charlie, you should go after him." She motioned, giving him a nod of approval as he began to stand.
"You think it's a good idea?" He asked. All he wanted to do was wrap the boy up in his arms and tell him he could talk to him about anything. But he also knew that with Alex it was important to not overstep.
"He needs you right now." Jess encouraged, handing him his bag. "He's different around you, he listens to you for a start which is more than what he does with us. Please go to him, I'm worried about him Charlie, he's not been right for days, and with his past you know-"
"I know, I know." Charlie placed a friendly hand on her shoulder, calming her worried demeanour. "I'll get to the bottom of it, I'll make sure he's okay."
"You're good for him you know, I'm glad he has you." She pressed a friendly peck to his cheek, Zach giving him an approving nod behind her as he went off to find Alex, the boy who's sad smile was currently breaking his heart.
.
.
Alex found himself slumped against a bench in the empty part of the school courtyard, using all his strength to tightly grip his bag as he desperately tried to calm his breathing. All he could hear were gunshots, he could feel his body shake with them, his head heavy and tired, his eye bags making him look all the more sick and crazy. He wanted someone to hold him and tell him he'd be okay, he wanted to sleep, but neither of those things were going to happen.
Maybe he deserved to feel like this? He did put a hole in his head after all. His tired eyes watered as he continued to take laboured breaths, his hands now sweaty, his body fidgeting as he rocked himself back and forth. He was having a panic attack and he couldn't stop it any longer.
It was only when he heard an all so familiar voice that he flinched, unclenching his eyes as he looked up to see a blurry figure through his tears.
Charlie.
"Hey, hey, Alex, what's wrong." The younger boy spoke softly as he slid down next to Alex's shaky figure, gently placing his hand on his shoulder. "It's okay Lex, try and slow your breathing, I'm gonna help you through this." He smiled calmly as the frail boy tentatively nodded, burying his head into Charlie's chest impulsively. He didn't know what else to do. He needed this boy right now, he needed someone to tell him he'd be okay. He felt like he was dying. Was he dying?
Charlie pulled him into a gentle hug, one hand brushing through his fluffy hair as he rubbed soothing circles with the other into the boy's back. He didn't ask questions in that moment. He knew Alex needed to be held, and that was enough.
"It's okay Lex, I've got you, I've got you." He pressed a kiss into his hair, holding back his own tears as he felt his boy shake, tears staining his burgundy jumper.
After sitting like that for 10 minutes, Charlie constantly whispering calming words into Alex's ear, Alex pulled his head up slowly, drying his tears with a shaky hand. Charlie giggled breathlessly, using his thumb to gently wipe them from his cheeks.
"I-I'm s-sorry." Alex whimpered quietly, looking down at the floor in embarrassment. "Y-You shouldn't have to d-deal with that." He gulped nervously as he pulled back.
"Hey, hey, hey, never say that Lex." He shook his head, clasping his hand between both of his. "You should only ever be yourself in front of me, I like you for you, and right now I'm worried about you, we all are." He frowned. "You look like you haven't slept in weeks Alex."
Alex sighed, breathing back his tears as he prepared to tell Charlie what had been going on. He felt as if he could trust him. Tell him anything in that moment.
"G-Gunshots." He whispered earning a look of confusion from the younger boy. "E-Ever since the drill, I-it's all I can hear. I-I haven't slept, I can't focus, a-and I feel like it's never going t-to stop." He began to cry softly again, burying his head into his hands as Charlie grew concerned.
"Jesus Alex, c'mere" Charlie pulled him into his embrace for a second time, this time looping his arms round his thin frame. "You should have told me, you shouldn't have to go through this on your own. I'm here now though, and it's gonna be okay, it'll get better I promise." He tried to soothe the boy, pulling away slightly to peck him on the lips. "I'm gonna help you."
"B-but no matter what I do I c-can't sleep." He whimpered. "I close my eyes and I'm back there, holding the g-gun." He gulped.
"Let's get your home okay?" Charlie took off his jacket, instinctively wrapping it around his boy as he pulled away. "I have a plan to help you get some sleep."
.
.
"I've tried everything Charlie." Alex huffed as the younger boy handed him the hot chocolate.
They had been in Alex's room for half an hour, and while Alex freshened himself up, Charlie had drawn the drapes, turned on Alex's indie string lights and set up a movie on his laptop. Alex had walked out of his bathroom in a long bed shirt and some comfy shorts to find Charlie sat with two cups of hot chocolate, and a smirk on his face as he patted the space next to him on the bed.
"Well, you're not gonna try to go to sleep Lex, we are gonna watch a movie instead." Charlie smiled, pressing a kiss to Alex's forehead as the older boy began to sit comfortably in his embrace, propped up by an abundance of cushions.
"It's A Wonderful Life." Alex giggled breathlessly, rolling his eyes. "The movie from the party? That's going to stop my stupid head from spinning?"
"Well, we never got to finish it at the house party, and we were definitely too high to remember what happened, so yes, this is what we are going to do." He winked at Alex as he snuggled down to lay against his chest, pressing play quickly as they settled amongst the dim light. All he needed was for Alex's mind to focus on something else, it was the only plan he had.
Alex felt warm and comfortable in his bed for the first time in days, his head laying softly in the crook of Charlie's neck. He could smell his cologne, simple but sweet, understated and comforting, just like Charlie. For the first time in days, when he closed his eyes he couldn't hear gunshots, only his boyfriend's heartbeat, pattering softly in a calming rhythm. He felt calm too, he was no longer scared.
So when Charlie looked down at him only five minutes later, he smiled lovingly at Alex's sleeping form, his heart melting as his hand gripped softly at Charlie's jumper, his head finally peaceful against his chest. He pressed a kiss to his head, and pulled the blankets up over his small figure.
"One day we'll finish this movie." He chuckled to himself.
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A/N - Ahhh so that's my first Chalex oneshot!! Please send me any requests in the comments!! I'll try to do as many of them as I can!! ❤️