Despite their late night adventures both boys seem to be strangely full of energy, and somehow, Isaac still isn't quite sure how, he manages to convince Liam to go on a walk with him. It used to be one of Isaac's favourite things to do, heading out at the weekend with Gideon, neither of them having any path in mind, just determined to walk and explore, only turning around when they felt they could walk no further.
"I can't believe you managed to talk me into this."
"Neither can I to be honest," Isaac says gently, "you always told me walking was a pointless endevaour."
"I guess I'm just not a nature person, I grew up in the suburbs Isaac, I wasn't born in the middle of nowhere like you."
Liam is teasing, but Isaac notices that both of them seem more nervous now that the day is actually here. Nothing has really shifted in their dynamic, but there's definitely nerves there. It's this weird in between place that Isaac can't quite work out how to explain, like everything has changed but nothing really is. They're halfway between friends and something more, and so neither of them is quite sure what to say, what roles they're meant to be playing today.
Isaac is relieved to see that they have at the very least settled into the normal roles, and that neither of them seems to be intent on making this weird, or awkward, or something they need to dwell on. As long as everything seems normal, he doesn't have to dwell on it for long, and then he doesn't have to think about everything that it might mean, the guilt that he knows he'll feel if he allows himself to think about it beyond a superficial level.
"Well I hope you'll enjoy it anyway," Isaac replies.
"Are you going to take me somewhere cool again."
"Everywhere I take you is cool Liam, because I am cool."
Liam snorts as he tries not to alugh and it shouldn't be attractive but dammit Isaac finds it cute.
"You keep telling yourself that," Liam says eventually, "whatever helps you sleep at night."
The two of them set off with that, Isaac has planned this route to perfection. Usually he would just set off and see where his feet take him, but today he has a plan, he wants to show Liam the sights. For some reason he wants Liam to fall in love with his place as much as Isaac loves this place. And so Isaac needs to show him the highlights, they're not here for long and Isaac is aware that this may be the opportunity he gets where Liam agrees to go on a walk, and so they're heading out on Isaac's favourite route. Minimal hills (to keep Liam happy) and fantastic views (so Isaac can see Liam smile).
Isaac feels weirdly domestic as they set off, it might be something to do with the picnic he's packed in his backpack, but it also might be to do with the easy way that they're talking, and the way that their hands keep brushing. He imagines that this must be what being in a relationship must be like, an easiness that can't be achieved any way other than naturally, but then again he's always felt that way around Liam, as if Liam relaxes every worry he's ever had.
"Am I allowed to know where we're going at least?"
"Can't handle two surprises in a night."
"I think there was more than two," Liam mutters.
Isaac chooses to ignore that comment.
"I just like to know where I'm going end up," Liam carries on, "you know in case I get murdered."
"You don't think I'd have murdered you by now if I wanted to?"
"First of all, that definitely sounds like something a murderer would say. Second, I never said you were going to be one that murdered me."
"Ah yes, the Lake District is after all known for its murderers," Isaac teases.
"Look Isaac, you can never be too careful. Two young, handsome men wandering alone in the middle of nowhere, we're prime candidates for a killer's victim."
"Well luckily you're with me, you know I'll keep you safe."
"As always, you're my knight in shining armour," Liam says. "Or maybe more of a knight in jeans and a slogan tee."
"I still think this might be the worst t-shirt I've ever owned."
"I've seen your baby pictures Isaac and I know that's not true."
The pair of them have managed to talk their way halfway up a hill and Isaac is relieved about that fact, he's hoping he'll be able to distract Liam to stop him from complaining. Of course Liam is allowed to voice his complaints, but Isaac wants this to be fun - for both of them - and so the longer they can go without Liam noticing that he's being forced to enjoy nature the better. It's a strange thing to be worried about, Isaac thinks Liam may be the most positive person he's ever met, and so in reality the chances of Liam complaining are probably close to none. But Isaac just wants this to be perfect, and he knows that walking up hills is usually not part of that.
However when they reach the top of the hill it's all worthwhile, once again they're up above everything, views spread around them as far as the eye can see. Isaac can just about make out the hostel in the distance, and the gap in the trees where they sat last night (the memory makes his skin heat). The lake is just below them and extends so far that it fools Isaac into thinking it almost might stretch out into infinity, a single lake wrapping itself around the world.
"God, everywhere is just so beautiful," Liam says, "like around every corner you turn there's just some amazing view waiting to take your breath away."
"Yeah," Isaac says, eyes fixed on Liam, "it really is beautiful."
The two of them stand there for a while, standing so close that from a distance they blend into one person. Isaac imagines he can feel their hearts synchronising, one pulse, two bodies. That the feeling surging through his body is pure electricity just from Liam's touch. He can't decide if he wants to pull away or move closer. So he stays where he is, his head empty of thoughts other than this moment, of what it could all possibly mean.
Liam looks back at him eventually.
"Come on slowpoke, we're never going to get anywhere if you just stand and stare at me all day," Liam says.
Once again Isaac feels thankful that he doesn't blush, can only imagine how red he'd be if he did.
So the two of them set off again, Liam a half step behind as Isaac leads the way down the narrow path. There are a few other groups out but they don't pay the pair much mind other than to offer a small hello. Isaac misses this, the feeling of being so alone out in the world, of feeling like the whole place belongs to you but sharing these moments with strangers. It's a hello but there's something lovely about the serendipitous crossing of paths, even though Liam seems to fear that every person they pass might be about to murder them.
The path is uneven underfoot and there are moments when Liam stumbles and Isaac has to grab him to stop the fall. Neither of them say anything when it happens but Isaac feels his skin burn where he touches Liam. He can't decide if it's the best or the worst thing he's ever felt.
"I think it's your turn to ask a question," Liam says as they walk.
Isaac tries to feign uncertainty but he remembers exactly what the last question was last night, the memory is back again, a meeting of lips, the sun slowly starting to rise, his fingers wound in Liam's hair.
"Hmm," Isaac says, "I haven't really thought of one, give me a few minutes."
"You mean you don't think I'm so interesting that you're constantly bursting with questions to ask me?"
"Not quite I'm afraid."
"If I wasn't completely lacking a sense of direction I might just turn back and go on my own," Liam says, "but luckily for you I honestly could not tell you how to get back to the hostel and so I guess you're stuck with me for at least the remainder of this walk."
"Damn, there goes my plan to 'lose' you in the middle of nowhere and never have to deal with you again." Isaac teases, "Anyway. If you could move to anywhere in the world where would you go?"
"Oh, that's a good question. I think I'd move to a busy city, I don't know, I like having people around me, feeling like I'm part of something bigger you know?"
"I get you," Isaac says, even though he's not sure he does, "I don't really know where I'd go, I just need some form of water nearby, a lake, a reservoir, a sea, I don't care. I just like being near the water."
"Is this your way of telling me that you're a mermaid?" Liam asks.
"Is that your next question."
"A classic avoidance technique, so I'll assume the answer is a yes."
"Damn you got me Liam I'm definitely a mermaid," Isaac replies with a smile.
"Well you do take a lot of baths."
"Ah, yes, the classic telltale sign of being a mermaid, liking to be clean."
"You know what I mean," Liam protests.
Isaac can't help but laugh and while he falls quiet the smile lingers long beyond that conversation as they make their way down the other side of the hill.
Eventually they find their way to the planned highlight of the walk, it doesn't look like much from the outside, just a gap in the rocks in the middle of the woods. But Isaac gently pushes Liam inside, directing him to hop across the stones that are laid about to prevent them from having to step in the pool of the water that runs across the entrance.
"All I'm going to say is that this would be an ideal place for you to kill me, I bet no one would find me for ages."
"Why are you so obsessed with me being a murderer? Is this some kind of weird kink you have Liam?"
"I just like to be vigilant."
Liam falls silent when they get inside the cave though and he turns back to look at the world outside. Isaac loves this place, it's a nice cool respite from the oppressive heat that sometimes comes, and going into it feels a little like entering a parallel dimension. Looking back into the outside it looks like the cave is framing a picture, and Isaac loves the feeling of being in another world. The cave is far more expansive than it looks from the outside and Isaac perches on one of the lower sections of rock, taking a snack out of the backpack and using the opportunity to rest.
"How do you know all these amazing places?" Liam asks.
"I grew up here Liam, and as you keep telling me there's nothing to do round here so we ended up using a lot of the time we had to explore."
"We?"
Isaac pretends not to hear the question and instead fixes his gaze on the packet of crisps he's just open. Liam doesn't call him out on it, just steals a crisp and carries on with his exploration of the cave.
"I have to say, I don't think I could live here, but damn there really isn't an ugly part," Liam says.
"Some would argue there is now you're in it."
"Wow, now that's just rude."
Liam has turned back to face him, mock hurt on his face. Or maybe it's real hurt? Isaac isn't sure how much teasing he's allowed to get away with now that their dynamic has changed slightly. This is always how they used to talk but maybe it's not okay anymore, and how is he supposed to know? Isaac feels like he's busy learning a whole new set of rules even though technically their relationship hasn't changed, Isaac imagines that if they had to introduce the other person to someone they'd still describe each other as a friend.
"You have all the stuff right? Is my phone in your rucksack?" Liam asks.
Isaac hands it over to him with a smile. He's finding it near impossible to look away, he wants to study Liam for hours, learn every single angle of his face, every single emotion. He isn't sure if this is normal, or whether he's somehow borderline obsessive, but he enjoys taking it all in. Using every available opportunity to imprint the image of Liam into his brain. He has this unusual fear of forgetting, as if one moment he could wake up and not be able to remember something so key from him life so Isaac often does this, spends as much time as he can ingraining a memory into his brain so that he has no chance of forgetting it. Of course he supposes that this could end up traumatic, but he makes sure to remember only the happiest of memories, his favourite of people, and today definitely satisfies those requirements.
So he sees when Liam's face drops, when he bites his lip anxiously.
"Everything okay?"
"I'm not sure," Liam admits. "Look I have a lot of missed calls, there's no signal in here so do you mind if I go outside to take it?"
Isaac wants to say no, Liam leaving feels like it disrupts the idea of this being their own little world but he figures he can hardly actually say that out loud.
"Of course, go ahead."
Isaac watches as Liam hops back over the stones, narrowly avoiding slipping in, stands in the entrance of the cave searching desperately for signal and makes his call. He shouldn't be surprised to find that Liam's voice echoes around the cave making it impossible to ignore his conversation.
"Penny? Yeah you called? Is everything okay?"
Isaac feels his stomach drop, and wonders why he's surprised, why he thought this could go any differently. He seems to have added two and two together and got five. All the facts in front of him and he still fooled himself into thinking it might be different.
So he fixes his gaze on where some water is dripping down onto the floor of the cave and tries to tune out Liam's voice, though it's near impossibe. Relief settles in his stomach like a weight when Liam moves further away and he can't hear him anymore.
Isaac feels like an idiot, but he supposes hopeless might be a more accurate term.