TW: SV, Drug abuse, distressing topics.
Read with caution.
//
"Come on, bitch." I gripped my steering wheel tightly, setting my forehead down against the warm leather. "We're gonna be late."
Candy had called me just five minutes before I left the house, begging me to give her a ride to work. Naturally, I obliged, but this was assuming that she'd be ready to walk out the door on time. She knew damn well that being late was not an option. Especially since tonight was supposedly a big night at Honeys.
Her front door swung open, and a very disorganized looking Candy ran down the driveway. "I'm sorry!" She repeated, stuffing her bright pink duffel bag into the car before buckling herself into the seat.
"What's the matter?" I asked, taking glances at her teary face.
"Ma was trying to say goodbye to me." She sniffled, dropping down the visor mirror to clean up her face.
"Like, goodbye I'll see you later or, goodbye for good?"
"She told me what she wants to be buried in, Bri. Nonstop talking about her funeral, and who she wants there. God, she even told me to make sure I have a good life. She said freaking goodbye to me."
"Did you tell her that you love her?"
"Of course not. You know that we haven't said that to each other in years. She doesn't care." Candy slammed the visor shut and reached into her work bag.
"Do you ever think she might‐" I paused and watched her dip her pinky finger into a small baggie filled with white powder. "Girl, since when have you been doing that?"
She shrugged, sniffing up the coke she collected in her acrylic nail. "Every now and then. It's real helpful on doubles."
"I can't remember the last time I did that for work."
She held out the baggie. "You want a bump?"
Letting out a small giggle, I shook my head. "I really shouldn't."
"Pfft. Don't be a lil' pussy about it. You're not gonna get in trouble."
"Just a small one, okay?" I scooped myself up a small bit and stuffed it up my nose, inhaling it quickly. "Ah, god damn it. I forgot how bad that tastes."
"You want some gum for the drips?" Candy began rapidly digging through her bag. "You don't wanna be grinding your teeth either."
"Do not tell Chris about this, okay?" I grabbed the stick of gum and stuffed it in my mouth.
"Why?" She scoffed. "He sells it for god sakes, what makes you think he's gonna care?"
"I don't want to worry him, that's all. You know how overprotective he is, come on."
"Your nails are stunning." She reached out and grabbed my left hand, examining the bright red acrylics with long tips.
"Honestly, I hate them." I sighed, before turning into Honeys back entrance driving slow to the front. "I figured I'd be seeing Marcello here tonight, so I wanted to be at my best."
"Did you get a wax too?" She leaned forward in her seat to examine me.
"Yeah, same ol' Brazillian. Nothing new." The coke was kicking in, making my ears hot and my heart race. Only heightening my anxiety as I counted the number of expensive cars in the lot. "Candy, look."
Shiny black Escalades parked in neat rows.
She leaned in closer to my lap, squinting her eyes to see through the lace in my thong. "What am I looking at?"
"Not my vag, dummy, look at all of the cars." I pointed out at the sight before us.
Daddy was here.
Which would mean Marcello is as well.
"One more bump, girl. We can do this." Candy wore a radiant smile, shining colorfully with her outstretched hand holding out the baggie.
We could do it, but it won't be an easy time.
Inside those doors awaited a whole new atmosphere that Candy and I were not fully accustomed to. Instead of the stench of spilled liquor, the room was fragrant with musky cologne and tobacco. Honey's was packed with classy men in sleek suits mingling amongst each other. Pinkys decorated with large gold rings held up to the air as they sipped the expensive liquor.
Candy and I slipped past the groups of men and headed to the dressing rooms, our hands held together tightly. We both knew that the looks of this were quite worrisome, staying together was our best hope. There were only a select few of us girls here, and we were all claimed to be Daddy's property.
"Ladies," Vic said behind us, setting his hand down on my shoulder. "Set your bags down and go to the lounge."
Candy and I met eyes, blinking rapidly with our feathered eyelashes. We slowly did as we were asked and followed Vic back through the club, stopping just outside of the mingling crowd of men.
"What's going on, Vic?" Candy asked, blowing a bubble with her gum and popping it loudly.
Vic held his gaze firm at the crowd before us. Crossing his arms in front of him, he assumed a hard stance. "Wait."
I stood still, tearing the crowd apart for any sign of Marcello. There was no way he wouldn't be here, all of Daddy's men were dressed like it was a special occasion, and there is no way he would miss that.
So what is this special occasion?
"Alright gentleman," That voice sent my nerves into full panic. Like electricity and water, I was jolted awake. The high from the cocaine was nothing compared to this feeling. The feeling of fear as I waited for the next words out of Marcello's mouth.
"Bri-" Candy started before silently grabbing my hand and turning her gaze back out to the crowd.
"Please," My eyes finally found him, holding a short glass of amber liquid in his hand, and a charming smile on his evil face. "Make yourselves comfortable. Tonight, we celebrate."
Celebrate what exactly?
Marcello summoned us over. Shouting a long string of Spanish curses out past the crowd to catch Vic's attention.
I gripped Candy's hand, my nails cutting into her skin as I tried to regain control of myself. With the way her knuckles turned white, it was hard to tell who was squeezing harder.
It wasn't rocket science to be able to understand the grim feeling that washed over us as we stepped through those greedy eyes in dark suits.
"Step in line." He directed us into place, standing us beside the four girls already waiting quietly. There's no question in mind that they were just as frightened as Candy and I was, if not more.
These girls were good. They did nothing to deserve this. Hell, none of us deserved this, but we all knew that we didn't have a choice.
Daddy sat with his leg crossed over his knee, gently bobbing his foot. His wrinkled eyes squinted at me through the thick cloud of smoke rising from his worn cigar.
I had to force a swallow, tasting the remnants of cocaine in the back of my throat. No longer able to face him any longer, my eyes dropped to my feet.
Candy's hand was now pulling away, leaving mine cold and damp with a layer of sweat. I felt alone in this room full of people. Men watching me, licking their lips eagerly. Like animals to prey. We were their prey.
I'm alone.
"Look alive ladies, please." One of them walked up to us, inspecting every inch of our appearance from head to toe. "This is a party."
"Would you like a dance?" Candy wore her best, brightest smile. Her hands placed on her small hips to accentuate her waist.
Someone in the back of the crowd, clearly intoxicated, spoke out amongst the others. "On the poles."
"Yes." Marcello threw his hands up in the air, smiling devilishly at us girls. "Wonderful ideas. Three for the laps and two on the stage."
That would make for five girls. There were six of us. One was left out.
"You," He stalked towards me, grabbing onto my wrist. As he came closer, the stench of alcohol on his breath became so pungent, I could nearly taste it. "You come sit with Papi."
Keeping my head down, and my mouth shut, I followed him over to sit with Daddy. There was only one seat available, directly next to Daddy.
Marcello unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat down. Running his hand over his tie to smooth it down before patting his lap. "Sit."
I gracefully perched myself down on his knee, avoiding putting my full weight down.
I think I've gained a few pounds.
With an irritated force, he wrapped his arm around the front of my torso and pulled me in closer. A long pointer finger with a bulky gold ring slipped under the strap of my garter belt, pulling it to slap against my thighs. "You sit like a good girl."
Silent, I nodded and focused my attention on Candy who was now upside down on the pole. A true professional at the classic invert move, I could almost say she was better than I was at pole.
Almost.
Daddy was whispering something to Marcello, speaking Spanish in a low hushed tone. Something about película.
I should've paid attention in Spanish class.
Marcello brushed his fingers down the side of my neck, moving away the locks of stray hair to expose my neck. "We'll have fun tonight, won't we?"
"Yes, sir."
Daddy's handset down on my knee, giving it a squeeze that forced my eyes to meet his. A gold tooth grin twinkled at me as he brought his cigar away from his mouth. "Be a good girl for Daddy's birthday, yeah?"
I stared dumbfounded back at him, clenching my hands together in my lap to stop their trembling.
Was I meant to be his present for the night?
"Open your mouth." Marcello's wet lips touched against my ear as he whispered to me. Two white pills sat in his hand, holding them out in front of me to present me my fate.
"You don't have to do that." I swallowed hard. Those pills were meant to sedate me, I'm sure of it. Why else would he want me to take them? "I won't fight it."
I am Daddy's birthday gift tonight.
A smooth chuckle escaped that evil mouth, making me squirm against him. "You're going to want to be nice and relaxed for this. Open your mouth."
Completely moving on autopilot, I dropped my mouth open and he slid the pills into my cheeks.
I don't believe I'll ever be fully relaxed.
"If you don't swallow, I will inject something far worse into your veins."
With a nod that I made sure he could see, I swallowed the salty-tasting tablets down and shut my eyes. I won't dare to ask him what I had just taken, there wasn't a point to ask in the first place. All that I had to know was I would soon be feeling the effects.
I can only hope that it would succeed in making me relaxed.
"Give it ten minutes." Daddy said to Marcello. "Then we will go."
"Go where?" I spoke aloud, my heart drumming in my ears.
"To celebrate, little rose." Marcello's hands were cold to the touch as he spread my legs apart, fingers scratching down my inner thigh.
Little rose?
We watched as Candy, and the girls on stage danced around. Shaking their asses and making great effort to perform quality stripteases, they hardly seemed as frightened as I felt.
I'm quite literally seated in danger's lap.
My eyes followed as Candy spun around the pole, raising herself to the top with grace and poise. With every rotation, I began to feel my body growing heavy, my eyelids drooping, and my heart rate slow.
"Look," Marcello said to Daddy as he pointed his ringed finger at me. "She's ready."
"Ready for what?" I asked slowly, feeling my body weigh down against Marcello's torso.
Don't slip from consciousness.
"Take her to the dressing room. Better lighting." Daddy stood himself up and strode through the crowd, two men following after him.
Better lighting?
My head now laid back onto Marcello's shoulder, watching the purple lights spin around on the ceiling.
With a groan, Marcello buried his nose in my hair, inhaling me as if I was his own personal drug. "We're going to have a lot of fun."
⚠Sexual violence⚠
"You gave her too much, you fucking idiot." Daddy cursed at Marcello. Standing tall in the far end of the room, he watched me stumble into the dressing room. "I wanted to see her feel it."
"Get on the table," Marcello instructed, tapping the long wooden table that we used to eat our lunches on.
My legs dangled off the sides, gently swaying from side to side as I laid my back down on the table. "Vic," I pout, a weak whine escaping my lips as I watched Vic bringing in a tripod with a professional video camera set up on it. It was almost a plea, begging to know why he could let them do this to me.
They're going to record me.
"Película means record?" I couldn't recognize my voice, everything was hazy and blurry.
"Movie." Someone answered while Marcello yanked me closer to the edge of the table.
"You ready for some fun?" He smiled grimly down at me, a crazed look in his eyes. "You smile pretty for Daddy?"
I flopped my head to the side, staring into the camera that was facing me. Watching as the small red light began flashing to indicate it was now recording footage.
Me.
Marcello was now removing my panties and lifting my legs to the table to examine me. Sweaty palms wrapped around the back of my knees and slid me back to my feet.
My feet that could no longer support my weight. I would have dropped down to the floor in a heap if Marcello hadn't held me upright. I was about as floppy as a discarded ragdoll, and it was clear that he loved it.
I was spun around and directed to lower my torso down onto the surface of the table, allowing me to keep stabilized.
"We rolling?" A garbled voice asked somewhere beside me. My audience to watch my fate unfold. I was surprised to feel myself let out a giggle, feeling an intense rush of euphoric tingling pulse through my veins.
Vic watched me sadly, stepping away from behind the camera and taking his exit from this horrible scene. He knew this couldn't be helped.
"Spread her legs further apart." I could recognize Daddy's voice, assuming a pleased tone.
I heard Marcello unbuckle his belt, and unzip his trousers, letting out a guttural moan. Each of his hands held a strong grip on my ass cheeks, spreading them apart.
"Muy apretada." He groaned out, leaning forward to rest down on my flattened back. "You be a good girl for Papi tonight."
I wanted to cry, to kick him off of me, and shout for Chris to come to my rescue. I could imagine myself throwing my legs back, crushing his balls with my sharp stilettos. I would smile to see him drop to the ground in agony, rolling around the floor with my heel impaled in his crotch.
"Ah, look at her smiling." Another man spoke out, his shoes squeaking against the tile flooring as he shifted his weight from foot to foot.
Marcello lifted my head from the table and positioned me more upright to be able to see myself in the vanity mirror before us. "Look at me, yeah?"
I had to avoid my expression in the mirror. Seeing myself so helpless and weak would only make me feel worse about myself. A languid smile spread my lips, and I faintly tasted the salty drips of tears slide into my mouth.
I don't remember when I started crying.
Why the hell am I smiling?
Marcello was pleased to see my compliance, pulling off of my back to take his stand behind me. Spreading my cheeks once more, he lowered his head to let a long glob of spit drop down onto my exposed asshole.
He wouldn't-
Before I had a chance to finish my thought, he plunged into me, tearing me open with a pain I had never felt before. An agonizing feeling that made my whole body stiffen, crying out in pain. My cheeks devoid of color, I felt sick to my stomach with this grand pain. I was no virgin, but I had never had anyone fuck me there.
Marcello did not waste a second, of course, he wouldn't want to ease into it. Every pump made him groan out, slamming into me with such force that the entire table wracked with the motion.
He was moaning.
My red acrylic nails slid against the surface of the table, reaching to grip the sides for support.
"Keep her head up."
"Yes," Marcello growled, reaching out to hook his finger to the inner corner of my mouth. With a tug, he pulled my head upright, stretching my cheek. "That's good."
My yelps of pain were now slowly becoming soft moans. Exhausted from all energy, everything felt fuzzy. Like the spotty blur over a rain-covered windshield, nothing was clear. Nothing was sure. I didn't want to give them the satisfaction. Giving them exactly what they wanted out of me. Not that I had any other option.
Marcello slapped his hand down onto my ass, voicing his pleasure to me in smooth Spanish. Pressing down into the small of my back with one hand and the other holding the back of my neck down, he drove into me with greater force. His thrusts seemed to intensify when I moaned for him, making him feel strong and proud. Just as he wanted. I could do that for him, and in turn, it could buy me my safety.
I could make him happy with me.
Am I a good girl?
My head was then lifted from the surface of the table and brought back down harshly, making my world go black.
In and out of consciousness, I vaguely remember Marcello step in front of me, shoving his dick in and out of my mouth. Someone else was behind me, nowhere near as aggressive as Marcello had been, but just as painful.
I let my eyes shut again, only to slowly fade back into reality. The room was dark now, only lit by the lights of the few vanity mirrors that were still on. Marcello was knelt, looking up at my limp body, with a grim stare.
"You made Daddy very happy tonight." His voice brought sickness to my stomach The taste of bile was replacing the taste of semen in my throat.
"But, are you happy?" My lips felt dry and cracked, about as terrible as my throat had felt.
"I am your Daddy, you hear me? Yeah?" He pulled back on my hair, trying for another groan of pain from me. "Not for only tonight. You are for me now."
My eyelids felt sore as they fluttered shut. Everything was sore, every single bit of my being inside and out was wretched.
I heard a quick flick of a lighter, feeling the heat from the small flame close to my face, making me succumb to another wave of fear. Though the image before me was not expected in the slightest.
Marcello held the flame up to a bright red fully blossomed rose, turning it slowly to assure the petals would burn. "You see this?" He asked, a smile curling upon his lips as he watched the rose fade to a wilted crisp.
"Mhmm," I responded. "I do."
"There are eight remaining." He set the now darkened flower next to my whimpering lips. "Rosas por meses."
I stared back at him, unable to read through his little mind games and sneaky Spanish riddles. He had worn me down enough for the night. I had already felt like I had given up, used like a drained battery only to be discarded and replaced.
Why should I be so concerned with his roses? Why was that so important to him? He hardly seemed the type to offer a girl flowers after having— intercourse.
Nonconsensual.
I shut my eyes once more and listened to his footsteps fade away behind the solid wood door of the dressing room. Leaving me just as easily as he had taken me. I was alone to ruminate in my disgust and hatred.
Just a used up plaything.
—
"Oh god damn it, Bri." Candy sniffled, her hand taking mine in hers delicately. "Sweetie, can you move at all?"
I shook my head slowly, watching her thin frame tremble as she cried silently to herself. I felt as if I had been strapped down to this table, legs dangling off the edge with no strength to move.
"They're gone." She squeezed my hand before moving the tangled tresses of hair from my sweaty face. "We need to get you cleaned up."
"Am I paralyzed?" I croaked, fingers twitching against the table. My whole body felt cold, drained of all life and power.
She shook her head, touching her hand to my shoulder. "No, you aren't paralyzed. They sedated you, Briel. Do you know what they did to you?"
I wanted to let out a soft chuckle, to lighten the weight that sat in my gut like an anchor, but that small chuckle quickly morphed into a fit of sobs.
"We have to get you cleaned up, and take you home." Her discomfort was like a blanket, sympathy in her tone because she and I both knew that she had been here too.
"I can't drive like this, Candice."
I can't go home like this.
"I'm going to drive us, okay? I'll sleep on the couch, don't worry about details." She looped her arm into mine and slowly supported me to stand on my feet.
Where did my shoes go?
"We're gonna go to the bathroom and have us a little sink bath, okay?" Candy may be tiny, but her strength was unmatched. She stood tall and strong next to me. Helping me and my wobbling Bambi legs move to the dressing room bathrooms.
"I just want to go home."
"I know, lovely." She flipped on the bathroom light, to present to me my mangled image. "We have to at least wash some of the cum off of you first."
—
Candy was not at all experienced in driving a stick shift. Compared to Chris' Chevy, my car was an easy drive, and she drove the poor thing like a tractor.
I was relieved to say that we got home safe, both of us intact— well, I did end up emptying my guts of my window after she took that last ridiculously fast corner.
"Don't worry 'bout it," she had said, gently rubbing my back while I laid quietly on the window track.
We quietly tiptoed into the dark house, saying our goodnights to each other before we parted ways. I needed a shower, something to wash away the portion of tonight's assault that couldn't seem to come off in the sink.
I needed this shower to avoid seeing Chris.
I knew by the gentle glow of light showing from under the bedroom door, that he was indeed awake. Awake and waiting for me, no doubt. The faint sound of his guitar filled my ears and toyed with my senses.
I needed him.
Setting my forehead down onto the closed door, I hugged my arms to myself and cried. If only I could just let him hold me. To kiss me with soft words whispered into my hair, as he locks me in an embrace.
Telling me that I am safe, and just okay.
That I am loved.
I slipped into the bathroom, locking the door behind me without the desire to turn the light on. The mirror was right beside me, and I wanted to avoid seeing my reflection at all costs. Candy did her best, but I didn't have to look to know that I appeared as used, and worn down as I felt.
Courage guided my hand, giving me strength to flick the light on. Stealing away the comfort of the darkness.
Instead of focusing my gaze to the mirror, I stared absentmindedly at the sink. Judging by the state of the countertop and sink, It appears as though Chris had shaved today. The white porcelain was speckled with his dark facial hair trimmings.
I felt my twitching lips stretch my cheeks, showing just a hint of a smile. It wasn't the fact that he had left the mess, and it certainly wasn't the fact that I would most likely be the one to clean it. It was just him. The simple knowing that he was still here and life had gone on as normal.
I had an escape from this nightmare. There was someone here for me. Waiting for me to come home and enjoy sharing time and their heart.
He shaved.
—
After spending nearly an hour in the boiling shower, scrubbing every inch of my body until I was red and raw, I nearly felt ready to be seen. Though, no amount of scrubbing could wash the rotten feeling I held inside of me. If I could peel away my skin and hose out my entire body cavity, I'm sure that feeling would never leave.
The bathroom door slowly crept open and I could see Chris' tall figure slide into the room. "Bri?"
"Hmm?" I responded, pushing myself off of the shower wall. Just the sound of his voice alone felt like a hug against my soul.
"Why you cryin'?"
"I'm not."
The shower curtain was then torn back, and Chris was now face to face with me. Eyes rapidly scanning over my face to examine the smudges of makeup that were too persistent to remove. "You're a liar." He stated, cocking his head to the side.
I dropped my head, dunking it under the water, yet again succumbing to a wave of pitiful tears. I covered my eyes to hide the anguish written on my face, shoulders shaking violently with every cry.
"Briella," he pulled my hands away from my face, now standing before me in the shower.
"What are you doing?" I sniffled, looking down at his light gray sweats darken as the water hit the fabric. "You have clothes on. You can't be in the shower with your clothes on."
He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me to pull me in for a hug. "Who says?"
With my face buried in his naked chest, I felt secure and safe in that moment. I clutched to him tightly, keeping my legs as steady as possible despite my wobbly knees.
"Hey," he soothed, petting wet hair carefully. "What's the matter sweetheart?"
"I wish I didn't have to do this." I blubbered hopelessly.
As he thought to himself, composed and silent, his heart thudded heavier in his chest, echoing in my ears. He pulled me down to the floor of the tub, cradling me comfortably in his lap. I imagine that he had many questions building inside of him, filling his chest like a balloon.
I'd like to think he knew there was something darker than words could express plaguing me, but for my sake he kept it short. "Do what?"
I pulled away to look at him, smoothing the back of my hand over his clean shaven face. "I'm so sick of being this person, Chris. I hate the way people see me. I hate that I'm just an object, a tool to be used whenever-"
"Briel,"
"I just wish it will all end. I just want it to be over. I want-"
"Briel, listen to me." He attempted to calm me, to catch my attention and say his piece. But, here, and right now, I needed to be heard.
"Christian, I just want you to feel something for me. Something real."
Slowly blinking at me, he took my hand in his and brought it to his chest- right over his heart. "You feel that? You feel how fucking fast it's beating?"
I nodded solemnly, closing my pouting lips to cease their trembling.
"You tell me exactly what you feel there. What does that mean to you?"
"I can feel your heart racing. It's like a motor."
Remaining serious, he nodded and pressed my hand down harder. The beats now more intensified with this new pressure. "What does that mean to you, Briel?"
"It's beating like that because of me, huh?"
"God damn right. You can't honestly believe I don't feel anything for you. This is real. You and I, Bri. That's real."
I wiped my nose with the back of my wrist, inhaling a deep breath to calm myself. "I'm a whore. How could you ever even come close to lo-" I paused, fearing the next words that threatened to leave my lips.
"You are no whore. Just know, I of all people would know that well." Cupping my cheek, he brushed away the lingering droplets of tears mixed with shower water. "You are a crazy sweet lil' lady. Intelligent and absolutely beautiful in everything you do."
Was he blushing?
"You don't have to say-"
"Oh, but I really do have to. You gotta know it kills to see you like this. Seeing you smile all nice and big- that's the number one thing that gets me through my day."
Fresh tears pooled in my eyes at the sound of his words. The only time I feel that I can actually smile, is when he's with me. "Does it really?"
I want to be happy again.
"Don't ever question it." He pulled me in, and cradled me in his lap. Touching his lips to the top of my head with a kiss that washed over me. "Come here."
I love him.
"You are the only thing that matters to me now." Holding me like a child, surrounding me with the warmest feeling of comfort. There was no other place I'd rather be. "You know that right, Briel? You're everything."
My eyes held shut, squeezing free tears as my mind displayed hazy visions of the horrors I encountered tonight. In his arms, I was safe. I was secure and not a thing could come between us. I was safe but I was nowhere near close to being free.
—
Chris carried me to bed, tucking me carefully under the covers before he made himself comfortable.
A true gentleman
He didn't say a word as I sobbed into his chest. He didn't release my jolting body as I flailed around, fighting the nightmares away. Hell, he didn't even seem bothered by the unwarranted wails of fear. He was there for me, with no questions. Feeling my pain with me, unwavering and honest.
Through it all, he would never let me go.
But did I deserve this?
A dishonest whore, wearing a mask of happiness to cover the rot growing inside. Did I deserve to be comforted in such a way, touched and loved with a heart that held mine close.
I was tainted, soiled, simply made of the dirt Daddy walked on. I am their possession, their toy. I am what they want me to be.
Did I deserve this love?
How long would it last?
How long will I last?
-
*Mwah*
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