It's been almost a week since I went out with Kenny and Zack. I have been having such a hard time deciding because I know I choose one I will lose another and I can't let that happen because both of them are equally important to me.
Its just that with both of them I feel differently, I like both of them in a different way I just can't decide who is the one . I mean how can I ever choose between them? One was my first crush and other was my first kiss. First kissed are always special, well if not special atleast it is something that a girl or guy would remember throughout their whole life.
Currently I was on my bed stuffing Oreos in my mouth like a hog because well, food held you in every life crisis and that's not wrong. As I was on my bed stuffing my face and eating my feeling the door bust open and riley appeared on the door .
"Wake up you sleepy ass!"
"God riles! You could have knocked."
"Have you met me anna?"
"Okay then, why are you here?"
"To help you choose between your playdates."
"I don't want to!"
"Hey listen to me Savannah lazy ass Orlove! I have been waiting for this day since Ken-doll came in town don't make me waitttt!" She squealed like a baby.
"So you want the tea?" I said and narrowed my eyes
"And ofcourse for your good it's a matter of life and death so chop,chop!"
"It's not that easy riley."
"Honey, I know it's not easy,that is why I am here ,okay? I know it will be difficult to choose but you had do to it someday and delaying won't help." She said with concern in here eyes.
I hugged her and said ," Thanks riley, it means a lot."
"Personally I prefer ken doll just so you know." She said and shrugged.
"You biased bitch." I said and threw a pillow at her and we both laughed
"So what do you think about the dates you spent with them how did you feel with each one of the two?" She asked.
I took a deep breath knowing that I had to let it all out it was now or never. So I started,
"Well with one I felt calm and comfortable like the day felt perfect and being with that person made me happy. Being with him made me realise how similar we are and how easy it is for me to be with him. The date was certainly very good and the time we spent together it was like the old days, the days I missed just hanging out and laughing , messing around without a care in the world like we had been friends forever."
"Okay though to beat but the another one?" She asked.
"The time I spent with the other one it was different like it was out of my comfort zone and rather than feeling pissed I felt amazing! It wasn't like a normal day for me it was out of the blue, I did something which I never expected to do because I am full of fears but being him just made them vanish. We had different interests and personality bit we still managed to get along very well. It was scaring yet exciting at the same time. I felt like I was complete and alive and even there was chaos around us, it didn't matter when I was with him." I said and sighed.
"Woah you actually beat the first one." She said and continued, " well I know who is who and I know what your choice should be but just what did you say how did it feel with the first one?" She asked.
"Calm and comfortable." I repeated
"No towards the end." She asked.
"Um like we have been friends forever?" I said .
"Do you realise what's wrong with it?" She asked me
"How can something be wrong with it?" I replied totally confused.
"Think Savannah!" She pressured.
"Just tell me already!" I shouted with curiosity in my voice
"It the word 'friend' , that is what is wrong with it." She said
"What do you mean?"
"Gosh anna! Do I have to draw you a map?"
"That would surely help riles." I said in a 'duh' tone.
"This whole date thingy wasn't for you to spend a day as friends! Or be or feel like you have been friends! It was for you to decide who you want to be with with the romantic feelings! It's not friends with benefits or you going to people and introducing the guy as ' hey look it's my boyfriend who is like a friend without feelings' ans stuff." She explained.
She has a very strong point
"What if i like the calm , friendly comfortable relationship more?" I asked.
"Relationships aren't supposed to always be calm and easy and sure as heck Not friendly! Relationships is about being involved romantically, not always being comfortable being uncomfortable yet in love and accepting your partner. Being different so that you don't ever run out of topics to talk about or things to do, keeping the excitement in the relationship . Relationships are never easy you have fights, disagreements which you have to overcome and make a relationship successful. By saying the things we are uncomfortable about makes the relationship with the person more comfortable."
"Woah. Relationship guru I am impressed." I said as I was recovering the lecture she threw on me.
"Okay fine leaving this, close your eyes and tell me the name that pops up when I say something." She said to which I agreed
"Okay so first going to a picnic."
"Kenny."
"Going horse riding."
"For sure kenny."
"Going bowling."
"Zack ."
"Romantic date."
"Kenny."
"Bunjee jumping."
"Ofcourse kenny ,Zack doesn't go one stuff like this."
"Going to a party"
"Zack."
"Going on a perfect proper date."
"It's ofcourse kenny."
Oh my god.
Oh my FREAKING GOD.
WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
"Look at that! Your subconscious and me both knew it was Ken-doll all along!" Riley screamed like a five year old who got three scoops of once cream.
'I -- how? I mean uh- Zack? What about him?" I said even though I was still shocked and unsure.
"Deep down even you know it has always been him, he was your first love and no one ever forgets their first love." She said.
"But Zack was my first kiss, I mean it's gotta mean something riley."
"Sweetie my first kiss was in the elevator with a guy who I used to think of as my brother but I didn't fall in love with him, I fell for Brian. Sure first kisses are important but your life doesn't depend on them. I don't even talk to the guy who was my first kiss it is just a memory in the back of my head that I won't forget but first love is something you never can keep as a back memory."
How could I not realise?
"All along it has been him."
It's always been kendall.
____________________
BA BAMMM!!
HOW DID YOU LIKE IT?
sorry to disappoint if you were rooting for Zacannah the votes were more for Kendall:(
Just to be clear I have never had a perfect or good relationship I even haven't had a decent crush so I don't know a thing about a good relationship whatever I wrote above was just the idea a random idea of a type of relationship in my head which has been formed so sorry if you are dissatisfied by it:/
BUT HEY ONE MORE WEEK TO GO( OR LESS) FOR THE FINALE CHAPTER!
LOVE YOU ❤️