Chapter 11: Recoup (Izza's POV)
I turned from the door and found myself staring at Devon's face. It was a face of pure horror. You could taste the anger as it rolled off of his body. His body rippled as if Dexter were trying to breakthrough. His green eyes stared back into my blues ones the whole time. He was panting as if he couldn't catch his breath. The growl that emitted from him made everyone flinch. Turning he punched the wall behind him. The wall was solid brick, or at least it was, as now it has a giant hole in it. He left the living room and made his way into the kitchen.
"Izza, We need to talk. NOW!" He called as he left the room.
"Who's Izza?" Heather asked. I'm going to have a lot to explain.
"It's a long story, I will be right back guys. Can you start to put the boxes together while I go talk to the Alpha?" I said as the sound of another growl and the sound of things breaking rang through the house.
"Are you going to be okay?" Angela questioned. He would never hurt me. I hope.
"Now Izza." He shouted again. This is his fault why is he yelling at me. Oh right, because I'm leaving.
"I'll be right back." With that, I left my friends in the living room and made my way into the kitchen. The table and chairs were all destroyed.
"What is going on. Are you leaving me? Don't do this to us. Please." He wrapped his arms around me and gulped in my scent as if he needed it to live.
I tried to pull away, but his grip was like steal around me. "We talked about this yesterday, Dev. I need some space. I can't do this anymore. I love you Dev, but I can't continue to be the fool."
"What about last night though?" I can barely remember last night. No, that's a lie. But it still doesn't change anything.
"I was drunk, you were horny. That is the only time you pay me any attention. Is when you have an itch no one else can scratch. You don't want a mate remember. I do. It rings through my head every time I see you. I see you with all your little blonde bitches, trying to fill a hole that only I can fill, but you never wanted me. You only wanted my body. Well, you have had it. I hope you got your fill last night because it's the last time you will ever touch me like that again. I told you I was through and I mean it. Release me, so I can go." The more I talked the more mad I got. I thought about every hurtful thing he had ever done to me and was happy to see that I had finally hurt him back. I put all the power I had into those last words and they rang with a tone of authority.
Devon stepped back. "I really have fucked everything up. Haven't I?"
"Yes Dev, you fucked everything up from the moment we met. I should have done this three years ago. I may have saved myself a lot of tears, pain, and regret. Last night was a... A... Goodbye."
Devon turned from me, picked up the ten-foot-long kitchen island, and threw it through the glass doors that lead out to the pool, "Fine go. If that's what will make you happy." He stormed off up the stairs.
I stood in the kitchen and let a few tears fall down my face. Doctor Gabe came out and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "You okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?"
"Not in a physical way. It's always been emotional hell with him." One crazy emotional roller coaster.
"You deserve so much better in a man, in a mate. I'm so sorry that this is the life you have to live. If you were my mate I would shower you with love. Everyone would know that you were mine. I wouldn't leave you locked up here alone and unloved." I was pulled tighter into a hug and Doctor Gabe gave off the impression that he wanted more than friendship. Gabe is 33 and lost his mate in a bad storm 9 years ago. She was out on the water studying the marine life when the swells started and it swallowed their boat whole. He understood what it felt like to lose your mate. His was gone forever. Mine was two floors up, but might as well be just as far away.
I've known, for a while, that Gabe was interested, but it's nearly impossible to break the mate bond. I could never even think about touching another male. It felt wrong. Bella hated it. Just the thought made my skin crawl. So Gabe has been friend-zoned.
I would have been lucky to have Gabe as a mate. He has spikey dirty blonde hair, dark blue eyes, and when he smiles you can see almost every one of his perfect white teeth captured between dimples. As with most werewolves, he is extremely fit with a glowing tan that sets off every defined muscle he has. He's not as bulked out as Dev, but definitely would be a fun time for any lucky girl. Just not me.
I heard the stairs creak behind me and the growl that followed sounded more like an animal caught in a bear trap. I was pulled out of Gabe's embrace and was pressed up against the kitchen wall. Dev's hands are pressed on either side of me and the brick does not seem to be holding up well to his hold on the wall. "Is this what you want to be free for. So you can fuck another man. So you can fuck him. I will murder him if he even looks at you again. Get out of my house now, Gabe. Izza no longer works for you."
"NO!"I shouted back. I try to push at Dev, hit him but I am pinned. "I'm leaving Alpha. If I were ever to decide to move on, I would be a lucky woman to have someone that cares for me as much as he does. Lord knows I never got that from the one person who was supposed to." It was a low blow. I waited for him to hit me in return. He never has, but learned behavior is hard to forget.
It never came. At least for me. Devon turned around and struck Gabe square in the jaw as hard as he could. Gabe collapsed into a pile on the floor. I ran to Gabe's side only to be pulled back into the arms of my mate. "You are mine. No one else will ever have you."
"You are a monster. I hate you. Why can't you just leave me alone, let me live, free me. Please." You don't want me and no one else will ever have me. I am alone. I will always be alone.
"Never." His roar nearly shakes the house.
I heard the front door open and close. It sounds like Heather and Angela left. Jax showed up out of nowhere. I guess Devon mind-linked him. He picked Gabe up off of the floor and carried him out of the house.
"You're not leaving Izza. Get used to it. This is where you belong and this is where you will stay." His muscles are rippling his eyes are pure black. Dexter will never let me leave. No matter what Dev does to me.
"All I have ever wanted is to be loved. And you couldn't even do that." Tears fell freely down my face. I turned and ran to my room. Closing and locking my door behind me.
That night the boys made their way back to their rooms. They were completely tuckered out from a fun time with Kelly. Kelly wanted nothing more than to be a mom, but so far it wasn't in the stars for her and Jax, but they kept trying. So until she had her own little bundle of joy, she lived vicariously through the twins. She at least got to be aunt Kelly. I crawled into Xander's twin-size bed with him and Xavier joined us. We slept cuddled up together that night. This is something we did when the boys were sick, or when I was really down. Today I was really down.
I woke up to the sound of Devon's growl ringing through the house. It sounded like he was in the hallway outside of the boys' room. I quietly climbed out from between the boys and crept to the door.
"What are you shouting about now Dev?" I whispered trying not to wake the twins, as I shut their door behind me.
"Izza, I, I thought..... I thought you left." He stumbled out as he took me in. He looked like a wreck. Like he hadn't slept.
"Where am I going to go, huh. You fired me from the clinic, beat up my boss, and caused my friends to run off with their tails between their legs. SO. WHERE. THE. FUCK. AM. I. GOING." I poked him in the chest as I said the last words. I know your not suppose to poke the bear, or in this case the Alpha wolf, but I didn't care. I would no longer be the obedient mate.
"Watch yourself Izza." What the fuck did he just say?
"Why, what else can you do to me? Take the boys? You might not be able to keep your word but you can bet that I will keep mine. You take them and I will be gone and so will your wolf. I also know that you would never hurt them like that. You want to be a good dad. I know it's important to you." I take a deep breath. He tries to move closer but I am nowhere near done.
"You already downgraded me to the Nanny. You wouldn't take that away from them. So what are you going to do? Beat me now? Wouldn't be the first time I lived in that kind of hell. You would only have to break the only promise you have ever kept. So why do I need to be afraid? Should I be afraid that you will leave me? No, because I never had you. You have fucked everything that walked for three years, everything but me." I start to laugh and he looks at me like I'm crazy. Maybe I am. Maybe he drives me to crazy.
"Ah, but Saturday you did fuck me. What, was it everything dreams were made of? I woke up in my own nightmare, hoping I don't have an STD. Go to hell. I'm going back to bed. Happy fucking birthday to me." I screamed as I slammed my bedroom door in his face and locked it behind me.
"Izza, Izza. Let me in. LET. ME. THE. FUCK. IN." He growled as he pounds on my door. I changed the lock two years ago, so the only way he is coming in is if he breaks the door down. He may just do that.
But after a minute or so I heard Xavier asked: "Daddy what's wrong."
"Nothing baby boy, Daddy and Mommy are just having some fun." What did he just say?
"Mommy," Xavier asked excitedly.
"Nanny Nikki is mommy. Really daddy. Do we get to call her mommy now too?" Xavier asked. "Hey, Xand Nanny Nikki is mommy now."
"Mommy, really. Daddy is Nanny Nikki really mommy." Xander doesn't talk much, hearing this from him nearly shattered my heart.
I heard Devon sigh, 'Yea boys she is. She always has been. We just had to keep it a secret. I'm so sorry boys. I'm so sorry that we kept this from you." I heard the pain and strain in his voice as he told the boys. I could imagine him hugging them tightly.
A small knock came on my door. The tears were already falling as I opened it. My twins were standing in the doorway and both shouting "Mommy, Mom, Mommy. We love you."
"I love you both so much too. Come on let's go get some breakfast." I try to change my course of action from fuck the world to mom mode.
"Ummm... that's not the best idea." Devon reminded me. "The remodel is still a little messy. How about we go get mommy a special breakfast for her birthday, and eat it in the living room together?" Devon asked softly.
"Mommy, would you like that. Would you like a special breakfast with us in the living room?" Xavier has a slight lisp as he asks and I nearly melt at my son's question.
"Of course baby. That would make this mommy's best birthday ever." The only birthday I have ever celebrated.
"Come on boys. We'll let mommy get cleaned up while we run to Granny Smith's Restaurant and get all of her favorite foods." The boys ran after him as he turned and headed out.
I closed the door and walked to the shower in a haze removing my clothes as I went. I sat on the shower floor. The same shower floor that I sat on as I gave birth to the twins and cried. They knew. They knew now that they are mine. I was happy, but I was also sad and still mad at Devon. I heard them come back as I was getting out to dry.
"Mommy, we are back." I heard Xavier sing out.
"Okay honey. Mommy will be out in just a minute." I'm pulling my clothes on as fast as I can.
Once dressed, I joined the boys in the living room to eat. Devon was gone. He left me to have this moment with them. We put on cartoons, and laughed and ate until our bellies were as full as can be. As we were finishing The Emperor's New Groove both boys fell asleep on the couch. Both snuggled up against me, one on each side.
I looked up to see Devon watch me as I stroked their hair back out of their faces. "Mommy has a nice ring to it. Happy birthday, mate." He whispered and walked out of the living room.