It's currently five minutes to 8 AM and the sun is shining brightly through the bedroom window. The last time I looked at the clock, it said 6 AM, so I have just been staring at the ceiling for the past two hours. My family is flying in today, as well as Hardin's mother and step father. Kim and her family flew in last night, and Noah and Shannon are coming by surprise! I wonder what Shannon had to do to get Noah to come to my wedding because there is no way he would've come by choice. My mind is just cluttered with thoughts. I can't stop thinking about my stupid vows, or should I say lack thereof. I am totally screwed if I don't come up with something, but I'm hoping Kim or Nora will help me tonight with them after the concert we're supposed to go to. I still don't know the band we are seeing, but Kim said it was a surprise. It can't be too big of a band since the concert is going to be held in a small bar.
Beside me, Hardin is sleeping peacefully, but his body is glowing in perspiration, and his mouth is set in a frown. Is the heat turned on too high?
"No!" Hardin's eyes suddenly fly open. He's gasping for air, which is a sure sign that he's having a panic attack.
"Hardin, what the heck! Are you okay?" I sit up beside him and begin stroking his cheek."Hardin, breathe."
Hardin can barely get out the words, "I can't... breathe..."
"Breathe baby, breathe." I continue to comfort him. "Can I get you anything? Water?"
"Just stay with me." He grabs my hand.
"It's okay... it was just a dream." I bring him close to my chest and slowly rub his back. I hear his breaths become more consistent and shallow.
"Are you all right?"
"Yeah... it just a bad dream."
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
He shakes his head again.
"You sure? I haven't seen you have one of those dreams in a while."
"I'm fine, I just forgot to take my medication last night since we fell asleep so early."
"Oh..."
"Yeah, so it's all good." He tells me, but I'm not sure I believe that everything is okay with him. Before I can call him out on it, my phone starts buzzing on the bedside table.
"That was just my alarm. We have to pick up your mom from the airport in a couple hours. I can just go if you aren't feeling well or want to sleep some more."
"No, I'm fine." He quickly assures me.
"Okay, I'll make breakfast. What would you like? And don't say whatever I'm having."
"Eggs and bacon, please." He smiles brightly at me.
"Of course." I lightly kiss his nose before running off to the kitchen.
I crack some eggs in a pan, and lay some bacon down on the other. My phone vibrates yet again, but this time it's Kim calling me.
"Tessa, hi!" Nora squeals into the phone.
"Hi..." I respond back with sleep laced in my voice.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"We just woke up."
"Oh, well I have a question. Is Hardin having a bachelor party? Landon wants to know."
"I'm not sure." I tell her, we never finished that conversation.
"Oh, well I think Landon wants to plan something for Hardin."
"Are you sure?" I don't remember Hardin being too enthusiastic about having a bachelor party.
"Yeah. I have no idea what he has planned for Hardin, but it's gonna be a surprise, so don't say anything!"
"I mean, what Hardin doesn't know won't kill him." I laugh at the idea of Landon forcing Hardin to have any sort of bachelor party.
"Anyways, Kim texted me a photo of your dress completed, and it looks great! I still can't believe you actually got a wedding dress."
"I'm just surprised I actually found the one like that, it definitely wasn't what I expected at first glance."
"Well, it looks great! Even though it wasn't your ideal pick at first, it all worked out in the end."
"I hope I don't regret it down the line." I always hear stories of people regretting their wedding dress, and this is something too expensive to regret.
"You passing out at the place definitely didn't help." Nora laughs.
"Whatever, at least it's over with now. I don't think he has any idea."
I hear footprints padding towards the kitchen, and I really hope Hardin didn't just hear what I just said.
"Landon is going to be coming with me, so while we go to the concert, he's gonna do whatever with Hardin." Nora informs me.
"Okay, I'll see you soon."
"We're gonna have so much fun!"
"Yup." I nervously look up at Hardin, who is glaring at me.
"See ya."
"Okay bye." I hang up the phone. "Your breakfast is almost ready." I announce to Hardin.
"Who was that on the phone?" He immediately asks.
"Oh, it was just Nora."
"It was Nora?" He questions me in an accusatory tone.
"Yeah, that's what I said."
"Ok."
"What?"
"Nothing..." He avoids my eyes.
"Why are you acting strange? Is it about the dream that you had?"
"It's nothing really..."
"You can tell me, Hardin. Anything."
"I know, but I just don't want to talk about it." He is still refusing to tell me anything.
"It seems to have bothered you, so maybe I can help you feel better." I'm not letting this go.
"Nope, I'm good."
"You woke up in a panic attack, Hardin, I would hardly classify that as doing 'good'."
"I'm fine."
"Talking about it helps, Hardin. Remember your therapist used to tell you that?"
He stays silent.
"Well?"
"It was just a stupid dream." He shakes his head.
"Hardin..."
"Forget about it." He's getting annoyed, but I am just equally as annoyed.
"Why won't you tell me about it?" It's probably about me in some way. My first thought is to my miscarriage, or maybe he's having doubts about marrying me?
"Hardin!" I raise my voice. I need to know he's not having doubts about this marriage.
"It was about you and fucking Trevor okay!" He yells right back, and that was not what I was expecting him to say.
"Trevor? You had a dream about me and Trevor?"
He tells me about the dream, and I immediately jump to defend myself.
"You know that I would never-"
"I know, I know. I don't know why I had that dream." He interrupts, knowing where I was going with that whole speech.
"I get it. I mean, I had that dream about Molly... a couple weeks ago." I smell something burning, so I quickly run back to the stove to take Hardin's breakfast off the stove.
"What's with us having dreams about each other kissing our ex's." He laughs, and I'm glad he has a humorous tone.
"I don't know, it's weird..." I think it's that we are both having doubts about getting married, even though we would never admit it to one another. "I think it's because our wedding is tomorrow."
"Twenty four hours, baby." He pulls the chair that I am sitting on closer to him.
"Nora's gonna pick me up later tonight. Kim texted me that she, Christian, Smith and Gracie all landed yesterday, and they're staying at a hotel since your mom is gonna be staying here."
Hardin throws a little fit over the fact that his mother and stepfather are staying here, but I felt bad. Hardin's mom isn't swimming in pools of cash, and hotels in the city are usually very expensive. Not to be that person, but Vance and Ken can spare some cash to stay at a nice hotel, meanwhile Trish and Mike aren't the most wealthy. Plus, it's been a long time since Trish has seen her son in person. Four years to be exact. That's a long time for a mother to go without seeing their only child.
"Don't pout." I reach across and touch Hardin's bottom lip. "We have to leave soon to go pick them up from the airport."
Hardin groans loudly, and walks back to the bedroom. I stay out in the kitchen and make myself some oatmeal with fresh berries and a nice steaming cup of decaf coffee. I miss caffeine so much.
After an hour, I walk into the bedroom to tell Hardin we have to leave. I assumed he was working, but he is fast asleep. I don't want to wake him, so I'll just go pick up Trish and Mike without him. I leave him a note on the beside table, and lightly kiss his cheek. He stirs, but doesn't wake up, thank goodness. I quickly run out of the bedroom, so I don't wake him.
Trish and Mike's flight landed fifteen minutes ago, but they have to go through customs, which always takes a long time. I'm a little scared for Trish to be coming to this wedding. Her and Hardin still don't have the best relationship since what happened all those years ago. He holds a lot of resentment against his mom for not telling him Vance was his real father, and for not telling him that Ken did send them money back in London. They have probably talked about sixteen times in the past four years, so I know it'll be overwhelming to see her for the first time since I saw her in London for her wedding. I still haven't one hundred percent forgiven Trish either for what she did. She sent Hardin completely off the edge, ruining all the progress he had spent months making. I didn't think I would ever see Hardin again after that trip, all because Trish and Vance decided to say 'goodbye' to one another by nearly having sex on her counter top.
Looking back on that trip, I remember the last day so clearly. I remember the feeling of being in Hardin's warm embrace in the morning, then back on a plane home by myself by nightfall. I remember Kim driving me to the airport that night after Hardin told me that he wanted nothing to do with me anymore, that he was going to stay in England and waste the rest of his life away.
-
"He's a fucking idiot, Tessa. How did we get stuck with two fucking idiots!?" Kim teased me as she drove me to the airport. My body was still reeling from the confrontation I just had with Hardin."He's gonna come back, he always does."
"I don't think so..." I shook my head. She didn't see Hardin this time. His eyes were bloodshot, his breath reeked of liquor, and he just had sex with another woman. "It's over."
"We'll see about that..." Kim tried to hide her smile, but her smug attitude was pissing me off.
"No, Kim. It's over, really over. I am done with him. He's staying here and I'm going home... I'm never seeing him again." The thought killed me, but at that point, I just wanted to go home, see Landon, and check how my father was doing.
"Good for you. I wish I had the same strength as you did."
"Are you thinking of forgiving Christian?" I asked Kim to take the subject off of me.
"I don't know... I love him. He betrayed me in the worst way possible, but I cannot imagine not being with him, you know?"
I knew exactly what she was talking about. I still loved Hardin, even though he betrayed me so terribly.
"I get it."
"We deserve better, and maybe one day we'll both get better." Kim shrugged.
"I hope so." I whispered to myself
-
A car horn brings me back to reality, and I notice a group of people heading out of the airport, but none of them look like Trish or Mike. I decide to stand outside of my car just so I can see them more clearly, but I don't see them in the crowd of at least fifty people. I should call her, just to make sure she got out of customs all right, since I know how stingy they can be. As I pick up my phone to call her, I feel a light tap on my shoulder.
"Tessa!" Trish throws her arms around me. "It's so good to see you!"
She pulls back, and that's when I see it. I can't help but stare at it, not one hundred percent sure if it's what I think it is. I don't want to be rude, but if it's really that, I am so confused on why Hardin didn't tell me.
"Are you?" I can barely get out the question.
"Surprise!" She smiles as she holds her pregnant belly.