I look up at him, and he is looking at me. I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. The problem is that I don’t know what to say to him. I have so many questions, but this is too much to handle.
I turn around, and begin to walk away. He grabs my arm, “Rose, please say something.”
“I have nothing to say to you right now, I just need to get out of here. I need some time to think, to sort through all of this.” I look at him with pleading eyes, he gets the hint and lets me go.
I run to my car and before I know it, I’m crying. I didn’t realize until now that I was really starting to fall for him. I can’t fall for him, I’m just going to end up hurt. I mean he has kept all that stuff from me, how can I trust him? I mean considering the things he kept from me. I don’t want to think about this anymore so I drive, not to our spot though, I couldn’t bear to be there now. I drive to the one place I haven’t been to in a long time. I go to my mom’s grave.
I get out of my car and walk up to her headstone. I stand there staring at my mothers name Isabel Renee Jacobs.
“Hi mom” I sit down in the grass next to her grave.
“I miss you, It’s been so hard not having you here. I really need your help right now, I miss your advice. You see I just learned things that, well, I didn’t really want to know. I don’t know exactly how he did it. I’m assuming you know who HE is, well in case you didn’t, it’s Damon. I don’t know if I believe it, that this could even remotely be possible. Mom, you should have seen it, it was like there was a wall and when he looked into my eyes and told me to remember, it collapsed and revealed everything. I’m scared to say outloud what I saw mom. I mean it’s crazy, right? This can’t be possible. We didn’t meet before when you were still alive. How could this be true?”
I curl up into a ball and cry. I cried like I never have before, I cried like I did when my mom was killed.
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When I got home, it was already 9, so I headed upstairs and closed my door. I didn’t want to think about Damon so, I called up Jess.
“ Hey girl, whats up?”
“What are you doing tomorrow after school?” I asked casually, sitting down at my desk.
“Hmm, well now hanging out with you!” I laughed at that.
“Okay, do you wanna go to the mall?”
“I would love too!”
I hung up the phone and set my alarm.
I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring. I quickly shut it off and got out of bed. I looked at my phone and saw that I had 7 missed calls from Damon and 10 new messages from him as well. I ignored my phone as it began to buzz with the picture of Damon on it. I went downstairs to see that my sister had already left.
That’s weird, she always makes me breakfast and greets me in the morning. I sigh and make my own cereal.
I got to school right on time. I walked into class and saw Damon, I had to fight the urge to turn and run away. I sat down right next to him in my assigned seat and for once since Damon came to this school, I actually payed attention to Mrs. Howe.
“Rose, please talk to me.”
“I have nothing to say to you, Damon.” I said his name with so much venom that out of the corner of my eye I saw him flinch.
“Please, you must understand. The things you know, I only made you remember because you are in danger.”
“So, you’re saying if I wasn’t in danger, you wouldn’t tell me.”
“Rose please you must hear me out.”
“NO!”
“Miss Jacobs do you have anything to say to the class?” I turn my attention to Mrs. Howe
“No, just trying to escape this idiot who doesn’t realize the fact that I never want to speak to him.”
“Well, okay then. Pay attention.” She turns back to the board and begins writing again. I sneak a look at Damon and see that he is looking down at his desk. This time, I really look at him. The way his shoulders sag down shows that he is in distress, and for a second I think that I may have been a bit too harsh, but I quickly push that small thought aside.
The bell rang and Damon is the first on out of his seat I try to catch up to him in the hall to apologize for my rudeness but Jason steps in the way.
“Hello Rosalie, can we talk?” He gives me a daring smile.
“Fine, what do you want Jason?”
“I miss you.” He tries to grab my hand but I pull away.
“I don’t.” I walk away leaving him staring and me and shouting my name.
The rest of my day goes by strangely fast. Damon left early, so I was a relieved and oddly disappointed. Before I know it the bell rang, signifying the end of the school day. I walk out of class and see Jess.
“Hey, you ready?” She asks me as we start walking to the parking lot.
“Definitely, I’m so ready right now!” We both laugh at my unnecessary enthusiasm.
I get into my car to go meet her at the mall because I have to go home and see if Elena, my sister, is home because she isn’t answering her phone.
I pull up to the house and see her car isn’t in the driveway, I turn off the engine and stare at our vacant driveway. She left and didn’t even give me a quick text, a note or even a call. I take a deep breath and pray that she is okay, I can’t lose her, she needs to be okay.
I start my car and drive to the mall, hopefully this will clear my head, and when I get back she will be safe at home. I know that she is an adult but I can’t help but worry about her and feel the need to protect her.
I pull up to the mall and get out my phone to call Jess.
“Hey, where you at? I just got to the mall.” I said as I was getting out of the car and heading inside.
“I’m at the food court, sitting at a table near McDonalds waiting for you, so get your ass over her!” I start laughing and hang up the phone.
I head straight for the food court, keeping my eyes open for Jess. I walk past so many people from our school, not in the mood for a conversation so, I put my hood up and look down to avoid eye contact.
As I approach the food court, I see Jess heading towards me.
“Hey, are you as hungry as I am?” I smile, glad to be with a friend right now. Especially one like Jess. Jess and I met our freshman year of high school, where we bonded helplessly over our passion for reading. Jess has strawberry blond hair, bright blue eyes, and deep dimples on both of her cheeks. Jess wears little makeup, she usually wear just lipgloss, and mascara. Jess is such a great friend, sometimes I wished that she was my sister because of all the personality similarities we have. I’m so glad that our friendship has made it almost all the way through High School, since we are currently juniors and our High School experience is almost over.
“Yes! So, what do you want to eat?”
“Hmm, how about Panda Express?”
“Sounds like a plan.” We get into line at the Panda Express place and try and decide what to get. While Jess jabbers away about whether we should get chicken chow mein or shrimp chow mein, my thoughts about eating start to float away and I helplessly starts to think about Damon. I think about how much I miss him, I miss the way he made me feel, the way my mind would completely go empty when he was around and my problems simply went away. I also think about how he kept things from me, how he kept all those secrets. How he somehow took my memory away and made me think that I didn’t know who he is and made me forget everything I knew about him. Just thinking about that makes me furious yet, torn. I shove the thoughts away and head to a table with Jess and I see that she decided on chicken chow mein.
We go to almost all the stores and I only buy a new sweater and some new black converse. Jess, of course, bought another pair of black ballet flats. I wave goodbye as we separate in the parking lot and go to our cars. When I’m inside my car I check my phone and see that I got a new message from Elena.
Hey Rose, sorry that I forgot to inform you but I won’t be home for a couple of days, I’m on a business trip. Love you, xxx.
I send her a quick message saying thanks and to have fun and as usual ignore the 7 messages from Damon, now I don’t even bother to look at them. I start my car and drive, ignoring all the thoughts telling me to read Damons messages and to just forgive him. I can’t trust him, even though I wish I could. The fact is that Damon and I are done because obviously he doesn't care enough to really try to talk to me and make me forgive him. He knows where I live, yet he doesn’t bother to go out of his way to come talk to me and show that he truly cares. So, he just proved to me that he isn’t worth a second chance.