After coming home on that Thursday after therapy and lunch, Penny was in a pretty good mood. Seeing her friend gave her brain and rush of good-feeling chemicals, therefore, making her feel happy.
An overwhelming feeling of confusion plagued her. She feels like a blank slate, like she doesn't have a real personality. This certainly caused a lot of anxiety throughout the day.
Her and Quentin went there separate ways once inside the penthouse. Quentin decided to go to his indoor gym and Penny went to her room to write in her new journal. She just wrote down everything that happened and everything that she was feeling and everything that she was thinking. She was hoping that it would help and stop the anxiety she is feeling, and it did a little bit. However, creeping thoughts would enter in brain and ruin her train of thought. Throughout that day and the next she would just stop everything she would do and just think. During these moments, it was like she lost in touch with reality. When she came to, it was like she forget who she was and what she was doing.
She tried everything to stop this and keep herself busy. Her depressive thoughts and behaviors seem to be on the good side. She even asked Ms. Birdie to teach her how to cook. At this point, she would do anything to let her thoughts take over her mind.
It was Friday afternoon when Ms. Birdie decided to teach her first lesson. At this point, neither have really seen Quentin all day. They knew he was in the house, but it seemed like he was busy.
Ms. Birdie taught Penny how to make her favorite food: Mac and Cheese. This made Penny feel good about herself, that she wasn't just a blank space with no personality. She has a favorite food.
Halfway in the middle of making the cheese sauce, Penny heard a phone go off. At first, she didn't recognize the ringtone, but then was surprise to realize it was hers. She hurried to her phone, only answering it just in time.
"Hello," she answers. She wasn't quite use to talking on the phone and didn't have a chance to look at the caller ID.
"Hey, Penny, it's Danny," she recognized his voice right away. "Can I stop by? We need to check up and I have some news to share."
"Uh," she looks over at what she is cooking. The pasta is already done and the cheese sauce is almost ready. Realizing that it is about to go into the oven, she hesitantly says, "Sure."
"Okay, I'm leaving now! Bye, love you," then he hangs up.
That conversation happened a little to quickly for her to process what is going on. She puts her phone back down on the table to get back to cooking.
Together, her and Ms. Birdie puts the mac and cheese into the oven. Penny is very proud of herself. She never learned how to cook because the house had a live in maid. She knew that Ms. Birdie wasn't going to live with them forever, so it's nice to learn all of her favorite childhood recipes. It was also a prefect opportunity to keep herself busy.
Just as the oven door closed, the doorbell rang. Penny wiped her hands nervously on her apron before flinging the piece of cloth off her body. She opened the door to the very handsome man that she calls brother-in-law.
"Hey," Daniel smiles once seeing his friend. He walks into the house and gives her a big hug. He was taller than her, but being overwhelmed with another person's body brought a lot of comfort.
I wish I had more people to cuddle with, she couldn't help but think. Sometimes everyone needs a good cuddle.
They both release from the hug, and she leads him to the living room couches, "So what did you want to talk about."
"First of all," he takes a deep breath before starting his apologies. "I am so sorry for not keeping in contact. One of my clients went, like, professional. It has been a lot to handle since he was invited to talk shows and interviews. It was actual hell. I should have texted you at least to see how you are doing. I know you stopped going to auditions and I don't blame you. It is so hard to be rejected over and over again. You are not the only one to feel like this, that is why I called my sister. I may have not been able to be with you, but know that I still cared for you. I don't call a therapist on just any of my clients."
She looks him in the eyes and gives him a reassuring smile, "I know. It got really hard for me and I'm really happy that Aubrey was there to help me. There are things from my past I haven't dealt with and the rejection did not help with that. I, uh," her face got a little red and she broke eye contact with Danny, "I am actually starting to see her regularly."
"That is great," he grabbed her hands in support. "I bet you don't have to pay either because your family. Mine charges an arm and a leg!"
Hearing him mention his therapy makes her feel more safe and not so isolated. She knows that so many people go to therapy, but it is nice to know someone personally.
"Oh," Daniel just remembers the other reason why he was there, "I almost forgot. I know you probably don't want to do it, but I have another audition."
"I don't really know," she hesitantly says. She doesn't like the way she feels after leaving them. Recently, she has been feeling so good. She just saw three of her friends and she is on good terms with Quentin. She doesn't understand a lot about her own mental health and stability. Another audition and rejection can lead to a series of bad and depressing days for her.
"I know it's probably not the best thing for you," he tries to convince, "but auditions and call backs are already finished and the casting director is still struggling to fill one of the roles and he owes me a favor. I thought of you right away because I think you would be perfect."
"When would I have to go," she asks Danny.
"Your audition would be tomorrow," he confirms. "I am so sorry it is so soon, but I was literally told earlier this morning."
Penny stays quiet for some time just thinking. She has a strong urge to call Aubrey for advice. She excuses herself away from Danny to call her therapist's office.
Thankfully, she wasn't busy with a client, "Hello, Dr. Romano-Hill speaking. How can I help?"
"Hey, Aubrey," she says nervously, "uh, it's Penny. You know your sister-in-law."
"Yes, I know Penny, my sister-in-law," she teases. "What did you need?"
"Some advice."
"Shoot."
And Penny did. She told her everything that Danny said, how it was a unique opportunity, and also her fear of missing out but her fear of rejection.
"I just, don't know what to do," she practically cries over the phone.
"Okay, this is what I have to say. I think you should do it. Being afraid for failure should never be a reason why you shouldn't do something. I personally don't think it is one of your triggers. You were triggered by the repeated failure and isolation you felt. At the moment you said you feel good, so take advantage of it because there is going to be a day when you won't and nothing will trigger that. You are feeling good, go do the audition."
"Yeah," Penny said, thinking over what she said. "You know what, I'm going to do it. You miss one hundred of the shots you don't take right?"
"That's my girl! Now, go kill that audition," Aubrey cheers on.
They say their goodbyes and see-you-soon. Penny rushed back to Danny, "Screw it, I'll do the audition."
"HELL YEAH," He shouts, runs up and gives her a high five.
That day, Quentin was just enjoying his break. He hasn't had a day off to himself in a while, so he took the opportunity to indulge in his hobbies. Today, it was reading. Somedays, he had the complete inability to focus on normal words on paper. Today wasn't one of those days. He had a bookshelf full of all genres, from nonfiction business to science-fiction and fantasy. He woke up that morning, stared at the shelf and told himself, I am going to read every single book before I have to go back to work.
Another hobby of his, when he wants something more action pack, would be online computer games. He wasn't in the mood for that, though.
He was close to finishing his first book of break, when he heard some cheering downstairs. He couldn't help but put down his book and go investigate. Upon exiting the bedroom and walking to the balcony, he sees his older brother and his wife rejoicing over something. They soon stopped and then just enter a conversation.
The pair didn't see Quentin eavesdropping on their conversation. He knew it was wrong, but he was drawn in by Penny's voice. He never really payed much attention to it, but now, it feels like the only thing he can listen too. He takes the opportunity to hide on the stairs, so he could still listen, but not get caught.
"So," Danny starts, "How is my sister as a therapist? In my eyes, she does everything wrong."
Penny chuckles a little bit, "I don't really know. I feel comfortable around her and she has helped me the two times I say her. This is my first time going to therapy. I have nothing to compare it to."
Wait a second! Quinn's jaw dropped. Penny is in therapy and seeing my sister.
Is this my fault? Was I so cruel that I have driven her to therapy?
He couldn't listen anymore. He already listen to more than he should have, so he retreated back to his room. He tried to get back to his book, but the words out become blurry every time. His mind would travel to her.
He's been to behavior therapy and he has a psychiatrist, but he have never seen one for his feelings and emotions. Well, his parents tried, but he acted like a bratty teenager and refused to talk.
He eventually throws his book at the wall, not caring about losing his spot. He hops out of his chair and starts pacing throughout the room. His hands seemed to be frozen in hair, occasionally they would run through but then they would return to their rightful spot.
Why wouldn't I send her to therapy? She was terrified of me just the other day.
It's also her first time going. I pushed her over the edge.
Why are you like this? You don't even have a relationship with this woman, yet you drove her away. It's not like the other times, either, because you drove her to therapy. She needs mental help because you messed her up.
She is miserable and it is your fault.
His heart rate increases and his breathing became rapid. He paced even faster and could feel sweat drip down the side of his face. He soon became lightheaded. His thoughts and guilt became too much. He fell down face first into his bed and rolls onto his back. He tries to calm down by closing his eyes and take control of his breathing again. It helped a little bit, but his endless train of thought would never stop.
So, he will have to go to the source...his sister.
He quickly dialed her personal cell phone.
It picked up, "What, Quinn? I have five minutes until another patient is coming."
"Uh" he was nervous to mention why he called, but he needed to know. "I heard that Penelope has gone to see you."
"Yes, she has. I can't tell you anything we discussed. Doctor, patient confidentiality."
"Not even if I paid you," he lightly chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.
"Not even if you paid me," she firmly says. She knows that he is only joking, but she does not take her job as a joke. "Was that the only reason you called me?"
"No...kind of. I was really awful and cruel to her when she first came. Can you at least tell me if she is seeing you because of me? I can't stop thinking about it and I feel so guilty."
She sighs over the phone. It is not of her brother's business why she is seeing her. However, she knows her brother's disorder. It was the reason she wanted to study psychology, to help people like him. She will never tell him the reason she is there, but she can safely say, "She has never mentioned you in the two times I saw you. If she brings you up, though, I'm telling her about out conversation."
She then hung up.
Quentin relaxed his hand and just laid down on the bed.
So far, I haven't created any lasting trauma on my wife. Thank god!
Hmm, my wife.
He smiles to himself. He totally has a small crush on the woman now. She was just mesmerizing to him. A complete mystery that he has only solved a few puzzle pieces too. He was excited to figure it out, but he was also not in a rush. He wants everything to just be natural.
It doesn't hurt that she is gorgeous too.
A gentle and polite knock interrupted his thoughts. He slides off the bed and opens the door to the redheaded woman he was just thinking about.
"Hey, so we made some Mac and Cheese for lunch, would you like to have some," Penny asks, with a cute nervous smile. Her eyes darted around, avoiding deep green eyes.
"Sure," he shrugs. She nods and turns to go back down stairs. He lips stretch into a wide smiles and follows behind her, down the stairs, into the kitchen for a causal lunch.