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c h a p t e r t h i r t y e i g h t
{Hard To Find}
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Skylar's POV
I lean back in my desk chair, patiently waiting for my clients to speak. The September sunlight dances through my office windows, embellishing every speckle of dust in the air. Although my windows are closed, the noise outside is just as loud as if they were open. New York is as rambunctious as usual.
Most of my workdays I spend with kids. Occasionally, I have families reaching out to adopt, and today is one of those days. A young couple is perched across from me. The woman is trying to keep her tears at bay while her partner rubs her back.
"We would love to adopt her." The woman speaks.
"That's great to hear," I beam. My heart fills with warmth for this baby girl. "She has been in many foster homes. She is slightly aggressive from the trauma she experienced in the past. But I've spent a lot of time with her and she's an absolute joy to be around, she just needs some love. That being said, my colleagues and I will help all of you adjust. It will take time."
They look at each other for a fleeting second, then smile. "The work will be worth it."
I pass over the paperwork and we schedule another meeting. I show them out, but the woman stops me on the way.
Her green eyes bore into mine and she touches my forearm gently. "I might overstep here, but I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do. I was adopted, and I went through foster homes and never found a family. But if I would've had you as my social worker, I think things would've been different."
I'm slightly taken aback by her comment, but I smile warmly. Taking her hands in mine, I say, "From what I can see, you've turned out absolutely lovely. And now you can give opportunities you didn't get to this little girl."
She engulfs me in a hug before joining her husband in the lobby.
The minute I'm alone, I gather everything I need for the weekend and lock my office. On the walk home, I stop at Kenny's for an afternoon coffee.
"Hey Kid," He grins, his white beard rising with his lips. "How've you been? '
I hug him over the counter. "I've been good. How has the business been since the upgrade?"
"Boomin'" He points at me and I snort. Two weeks ago, Jayden and I helped Kenny rearrange the café. He had some extra spending money, so he bought new furniture and decor. The place looks cozier than ever.
"That's great to hear. Also, can you make another coffee to go?"
"Sure thing," He reaches for another cup. "Is it for Jayden?"
I nod and I can sense his excitement. "You both have a safe trip. Do you want any snacks for the ride?" I look at the fresh pastries and baked goods in the display case, then ask Kenny for two bagels. Before he gives me them on the house, I force a twenty-dollar bill into his hand.
"Thanks for everything, Kenny," I say taking the bagged treats and coffee. He wishes us luck and I continue home.
When I approach our apartment, Jayden is already packing our bags into the car. He doesn't see me at first, so I take the opportunity to stare. Although his movements are aggressive, I can tell they're from excitement because today's the day we meet Ellie.
When Jayden received the first letter from Ellie, it was a special experience. I recall watching from afar as he read it over and over. His smile grew bigger each time.
I'm sure talking to her biological father was nerve-wracking, but the conversation came easily between them. She told him about her hobbies which include reading, drawing, and learning the piano. She even sent some of her drawings to Jayden, which he has hanging in his office.
Not only is she artistic, but she's also a smart-cookie; she aced fourth grade and says she is excited to start the fifth. I commend Amelia and Dean for raising such a lovely girl.
And after months of writing back and forth, Ellie finally said she wanted to meet us.
"Hey, you're home," Jayden smiles and pulls me into a warm hug when he sees me. "How was work?"
"It was good. I'm ready to get going though."
He nods eagerly and says, "Everythings in the car, do you need to wash up?" I announce I want to change my clothes and make sure I'm not missing anything. He takes our coffee and snacks from my hands and I hurry inside. Bustling to the closet, I change out of my work attire into something comfortable. After one quick sweep of the apartment, we're ready to go.
"How many road trips have we taken at this point?" I ask, situating myself in the passenger seat with a book in my lap to pass time.
He looks at me, lowering his eyes. "Many, but this is the only one that matters."
Smiling, I lean in for a kiss and we start our journey to Virginia.
When we cross the border into Maryland, I close my book and turn toward Jayden. "I forgot to mention, my dad said he's excited to meet you." Since I reached out, my dad and I have been making up for the lost time. He's been patient with me and I've been patient with him. So far, it's going great. I'm proud of myself for being able to let a grudge that weighed me down for so long, go.
"Wow, the first parent introduction" He clenches his teeth timidly. "That's nerve-wracking, I'm going to have to shave." He runs his hand over his face and I can't help but laugh at his reaction.
I reach up to touch his face. It makes me reminisce about when we met for the second time at Marlee's place. "I cannot believe I didn't recognize you at first because of your beard."
"Admit it, you thought I was extremely sexy even though you wanted to rip me to shreds."
I roll my eyes playfully. "Of course, I thought you were. You still are sexy. But at least I don't want to hurt you now."
"I remember us that night in your apartment stairwell," He swallows, writhing in his seat. "It's ingrained in my brain."
I picture his hands on me; him pinning me against the wall and the sweet taste of his lips. My cheeks grow hot until I picture him leaving me in front of my door. "You leaving me is ingrained in my brain." I snidely remind him, even though I'm not bothered anymore.
He squirms uncomfortably. "Something I'll always regret, but it worked out, didn't it?"
My lips turn upward. "It did."
A moment of silence passes before he says, "It's strange how the universe puts us through situations we don't realize will benefit us until later."
His words resonate within me and I reflect on things I've experienced in my life. I wonder, 'how could my mother's passing benefit me?' Then I think about how different my life would be if she was here today. Marlee and I wouldn't be as close, I might have lived in a different state, and I wouldn't be here with Jayden.
Although every part of me wishes she was here, I have to accept the fact she's gone. Her death didn't benefit me directly, but things that resulted because of it made me flourish into who I am today.
"You're right," I state, keeping the thoughts about my mom to myself. "Who would've thought the douchey-blond guy at the bar would end up being the love of my life."
He quickly looks in my direction with a smile and reaches to hold my hand. I know he can't find the right words to say, however; the silence is fitting.
We make a pit-stop three hours out and I take over driving. When we get back on the highway, Jayden opens my book and turns to the bookmarked page. His voice sounds through the small car as he reads where I left off.
"Wait, are you seriously reading to me?"
"Yeah," He says innocently. "I figured you'd want to know what happens next."
I clutch the steering wheel, stifling a massive smile, and urge him to continue. He reads the mystery novel, his voice fluctuating with the emotions in the story as if he is performing. Soon enough, the laughter comes gushing out.
We only have ten minutes left until we reach the hotel when Jayden finishes reading the last line of the novel. Out of my peripheral, he closes the paperback, letting it fall limp into his lap.
"Wow," He says in awe, gathering his thoughts. "That was an excellent book. The greenhouse part was a super creepy setting."
"I agree, it was very good. I liked the way it ended."
Jay throws his head back dramatically. "Now I see why you read so much." I chuckle at how frazzled he appears; he is about to experience his first book-hangover. He demands we get a book for the car ride home as I pull into the hotel parking lot. I assure him we will, and we eagerly head inside to change into something appropriate for dinner.
A half-hour later, we're sitting in a parking lot near the beach. Jayden anxiously holds up a gift bag full of art supplies. "You don't think this is too much?"
"No, it's not too much. I think she'll love it." I straighten his shirt collar, kissing him softly. When I pull away, he lets out an audible groan while I clap enthusiastically, trying to reduce his nerves. I take his hands in mine.
"You got this, just be yourself."
I've watched adoptive parents meet their children for the first time, it's such a beautiful encounter. But I never thought I'd experience something similar myself. Although Ellie isn't my child, she holds a special place in my heart and I can't wait to be a part of her life.
Taking a deep breath, we climb out of the car and head toward the boardwalk where we planned to meet. Jayden hasn't let go of my hand since we left the car. I gaze at him every couple minutes to make sure he's doing alright.
For a September evening, the boardwalk is quite busy. Families litter the area, their kids running around aimlessly. Couples walk hand in hand, laughing as the sun sets on the horizon. I take everything in around me because I know this will be a moment to remember.
We approach the wooden pier built over the ocean, the salty air produces a sense of tranquility, and I notice Jayden loosen his grip on my hand. In the distance, the Parnell's are perched on a bench, while a little blonde girl jumps around with her back toward us.
Her loose blonde curls bounce with the warm breeze.
Jayden slows his pace. I know both of our hearts are ready to burst out of our chest.
When we are close enough, Dean and Amelia look our way, instantly standing from their seated position. Dean bends down in front of Ellie and points in our direction.
The little girl turns around and everything falls perfectly into place. I step off to the side along with her parents, while Jayden pauses a couple of feet away from his daughter and crouches level with her.
Ellie's steps toward him are tiny at first, but the moment Jayden says, "Hello, Elliana," and opens his arms wide enough for her to fit within them, her legs pick up the pace, carrying her into his arms.
A muffled sob escapes Amelia, which makes me realize I'm crying too.
Ellie tosses her arms around Jayden's neck, then his come barreling around her. His hug makes up for all the years he was absent from her life. In that instant, he appears so fragile yet so fulfilled.
I watch him cry.
I watch him release every tear he's concealed for the girl in his arms.
And one day, she'll know the story of how she was hard to find.