Hyunjin told Jeongin everything from the current incident to Felix. He lived an hour away, so Hyunjin didn't see the harm. It felt good to have someone familiar to talk to in this world of the unknown.
Somehow he managed to get everything off his chest in just a few hours despite Jeongin's incessant comments and sarcastic jokes and now he felt he might be able to make it through another week by himself.
If only Taehyuk wasn't sitting on his couch this morning watching the news and sipping a cup of coffee.
"Oh, you're up!" Taehyuk gave Hyunjin a warm smile that was not returned, "your mom's in the kitchen making breakfast."
Hyunjin shuffled towards the kitchen, wishing to get the man in sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt out of his head.
As he rounded the corner, there was his mother stirring eggs with a blissful expression on her face. She hummed a nursery rhyme as she padded around on the tile floor.
Hyunjin leaned his back on the counter and crossed his arms.
Other than the fact that she was dressed and ready for the day, her demeanor resembled all those mornings she had cooked for him when he had been homeschooled. It had been the highlight of his day, waking up to wonderful smells and someone warm to hug.
Hyunjin swallowed the hateful words that kept bubbling up and instead walked over and hugged her from behind, putting his chin on her left shoulder.
She had cried the day she realized he had finally grown taller than her, but now it was just a fact of life.
"Whatcha makin'?" Hyunjin asked as if the eggs weren't obvious enough.
"Mm, eggs and toast. I got strawberries at the store the other day."
"Ooh, yum!" Hyunjin let go of her and skipped over to the fridge. He slid the bowl of strawberries out and happily chomped on one.
His mother laughed at his enthusiasm and scraped the eggs onto a plate. She grabbed the toast out of the toaster and placed it on another plate beside a small bowl of prepackaged jellies. She carried both plates to the dining room with Hyunjin following, shoulders dancing in strawberry excitement.
"Love, food's ready!"
Hyunjin's shoulders stopped dancing.
The air was tense as they ate. Not even strawberries could cure Hyunjin of the horrible thoughts running through his head.
He folded his toast over to make a sort of sandwich slathered in blueberry jam and took a violent bite. Then another, and another. It took only four bites to finish the whole piece.
He casually licked his fingers of the remaining jam, making awkward eye contact with Taehyuk in the process.
Looking away, Hyunjin shoveled eggs into his mouth as fast as possible, washing it down with the glass of milk that had materialized by his plate.
In the span of five minutes, Hyunjin was done with his breakfast.
He stood up, chair scraping the wood floor, and took his dishes back to the kitchen. As he passed by the table again, he snatched the bowl of strawberries and proceeded to his room to get ready for school.
This whole time he had expected his mother to say something, but it was as if she was too scared. Her fear and underlying concern just made Hyunjin angrier.
He kicked open his bedroom door and flopped on his bed moodily eating strawberries as his eyes bored a hole through a spot in the carpet.
His hand absently reached for another strawberry. He felt around the bowl for a second, only feeling small leaves.
Furious that all his strawberries had also abandoned him, Hyunjin threw the bowl across the room. Tiny shards shot everywhere, one nicking Hyunjin's cheek as it passed.
A slight dribble of blood ran down his face before he noticed the two adults trying to get his attention. Taehyuk stood in the doorway while Hyunjin's mother picked her way to Hyunjin.
"Baby?" He didn't look at her, just continued to stare at the mess of strawberries and glass.
The bed dipped beside him as a hand gently wiped at the line of blood. Hyunjin didn't move except for the dramatic rise and fall of his chest.
"Baby, you okay?"
Sweat gathered on Hyunjin's hairline as he finally brought his gaze up to the now empty doorway and then his mother. She furrowed her eyebrows in concern and swallowed as her hand rubbed his arm.
"Why?" Hyunjin breathed out, "Was it not enough? Was I not enough?"
"Baby, what are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about?" Hyunjin's voice got louder with each syllable, "I spent fourteen years where you were all I had and then all of a sudden I"m thrust into public school, you get a job, we never see each other, and then you show up with some dude that's magically your fiance and act like nothing ever happened!"
There was silence as Hyunjin caught his breath.
"I thought you'd be happy..." Hyunjin's mom mumbled, looking down.
"Happy about what!?!" He stood up, fists clenching in rage.
"Baby, please!" his mother pulled him back down on the bed, "I was just trying to give you a family."
She gripped his hand, lightly massaging his fingers.
"I have a family. I don't want a new one."
"I'm sorry." She leaned in for a hug, but Hyunjin scooted away.
"Are you? 'Cause I don't think you would be cooking breakfast for me if he wasn't here."
"You know that's not true!" By this point his mother had tears in her eyes.
"Yes it is! You know you're not with him for my sake, because if you were, you would have introduced me long ago!"
"I had to make sure he was worth it."
"Yeah, worth moving and staying out all night. I was wondering why your job was so hard, but now I know the truth." His tone had turned icy, along with his eyes.
Hyunjin was jolted out of the conversation by a wet sensation on his right hand. He looked over to see Kkami licking him. He picked up the dog and snuggled his face into Kkami's fur.
"It's okay, Kkami. Everything's fine." Hyunjin mumbled as he hugged the squirming animal.
He let the dog go, gave his mother one last empty glance, and stalked off to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
His morning routine took about half the time it usually took, given his agitated state. However, as he stood at the end of his driveway, he regretted his haste.
His feet stuffed in his shoes, the tongue bunched up, and socks riding down in a way that would eventually produce blisters. His light brown hair stuck up at all angles, and he was pretty sure his math homework was resting peacefully under his bed.
He harshly kicked a stray rock, satisfied when it hit a metal trash can, creating a loud boom.
The bus rolled up hissing and screeching to his stop. Hyunjin stomped up the steps and sat down on the first open seat he saw.
This was the first day that his presence had not induced a series of giggles, but rather just a few hushed whispers.
He was grateful.
The ride was mildly therapeutic. The white noise created by the bus's mechanics, the gentle rocking whenever they made a turn, and the little whispers here and there.
It calmed Hyunjin down enough that when Felix's head bobbed into view his response was a sigh of relief followed by a sweet, closed-lip smile. Felix smiled back and slid in beside Hyunjin.
"Hey, Jinnie!"
"Hey, Lix."
His voice was gentle, his smile widening despite the tears forming in his eyes.
________________________________________________________________________________
Being an introvert makes writing extroverted characters really hard.