Chapter XXIII ─ Kindling Fires
[ M I C H A E L G R I F F I N ]
When I looked at the new Bryan Clay, I could never imagine someone as stereotypically masculine as him to be that big of a slut for snuggles. Not with his bulging muscles, his stoic and cold demeanor, and his nonchalant attitude - essentially the polar opposite of what he'd once been.
Boy, could I not have been more wrong about having those views once upon a time. The last few days have changed all my views on my former best friend and potentially my future love interest.
It was already Saturday and Bryan's attempt at reaching mental nirvana had been surprisingly pleasant. He gets enough sleep, he eats well—momma Griffin made sure of that—and he's overall happier by having someone around at all times. Bryan had been deprived of essential tender love and care for so long and I was glad I could provide him even an ounce of safety he never truly had.
We'd long abandoned the trusty 'ole air mattress, that had begun deflating more and more each night and spent the nights in my comfortable bed, waiting for the morning to come. Safe to say, that entire week, I'd gotten some of the best sleep in my life and the only person responsible for that was Bryan Clay.
He was like an entirely different frontier of drugs, singlehandedly dismantling the entire melatonin industry, and fuck was I addicted.
It got progressively more difficult to contain my urges spending so much time up close and personal with Bryan, I'd have to bite my lips so hard that they'd bruise just to resist popping an awkward boner, not that I think he'd mind me doing that. It just felt too soon and I didn't want that inkling feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was pushing him and taking advantage of him.
If Bryan wanted something from me, he'd have to come and take it, literally.
My mind went straight down the gutter when he was around and it was honestly painful, sometimes I had to wonder, was he resisting just as hard as I was? Bryan was extremely reserved and rarely showed any emotion except for disapproving scowls, or maybe that was just his resting face, it's a mystery I hadn't uncovered just yet. Needless to say, I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that Bryan tried to resist taking advantage of the situation as much as I was.
Knowing Bryan, he'd likely still felt guilty about staying in my house, eating at my house, sharing my bed, the little things made his skin crawl with guilt and I couldn't do anything about it, he was just wired that way. The wires had been tangled so incredibly hard, that untangling them wouldn't be a feat I'd be able to do by myself. Wether Bryan or I liked it or not, professional help was necessary in this case, we were talking about years of neglect, psychological damage, and anxiety, that couldn't just be glossed over and forgotten.
We took baby steps towards his psychological freedom, it wasn't something we could rush. If Bryan didn't want to get better and I forced him to get help, it would ultimately be meaningless, he needs to want change with every ounce of his body and until he did, I'd be there along the way, subconsciously ushering him towards realization.
I knew I couldn't psychoanalyze anyone, much less Bryan, I was just a dumb teenager at the end of the day, but I couldn't help it. I worried so damn much about him, even if I refrained from expressing it to him.
Under that awful stereotypical, testosterone-fueled face of masculinity laid the softest, most vulnerable, and deprived person that could take my breath away with a mere look.
I let out a deep sigh and shook my head a little, I was laser-focused on Bryan's issues when in reality I should have been focused on the amazing progress he'd made in a mere few days. Hearing from the spies I'd recruited, also known as his teammates that shared classes with him, Bryan had been attending his classes and doing well, he'd come out of his shell a little, he didn't look as troubled and burdened every time he stood up straight in the locker room, he'd been performing well on the field. It's as if everything was somehow fixing itself, his mood had improved and in turn, everyone else's mood went uphill.
I was darn proud of my Bryan.
I would sneak satisfactory glances and catch him staring at me with sparkling eyes that made me feel warm inside. I was happy that things were going surprisingly well for him, he deserved a moment to catch his breath, everyone did.
We found ourselves standing on solid ground again. I had realized that I forgot to report to Kyle after I'd stormed out of the locker room that cursed and wretched day, he was surprised to see Bryan doing so well all of a sudden and he eyed me with a keen eye at all times. I told myself that things would be okay, and so far they seemed to have been going more than okay.
My mother agreed. I knew that years ago if the opportunity arose, she would have adopted Bryan from the get-go, that's how much she loved him as a son and I was happy. Not to mention, it made things a lot easier for us if we happened to escalate our relationship to new heights one day. She trusts us to make the right choices from here on our, which was why she had almost embarrassed me by shoving an oversized box of various types of condoms and lube in my arms the other day.
I carefully hid it under my bed because I was too embarrassed about Bryan seeing them in plain sight. My mom had little to no filter when it came to embarrassing someone, or when it came to protection, I still remember the post-it note attached to the box as she handed me the 'care package' with a stern look.
The post-it note said: 'wrap it up and stay safe or it won't be an STI that kills you first. :)'
Safe to say her message was well received and shall be obeyed if the situation ever escalated to that point. Oh, the benefits and disadvantages of having a mother that worked in the medical field.
All this pondering about sex had started a couple of days ago, I was already itching to get a bite, but as I said before, I would wait for Bryan to make the first move, I needed him to want it. To want me as much as I wanted him. However, I couldn't say that I wasn't growing frustrated and irritated, when you spend so much time around the person giving you some wild and nasty thoughts, you don't have time to find a release. If you catch my drift.
In other words, I had a painful case of blue balls because of Bryan Clay and it was mortifying. I felt like a hormonal teenage boy going through puberty again, both my cock and I were oversensitive to his influence, his actions, fuck even the thought of his presence.
I stared at the ceiling of my room and let out another frustrated breath, the lighting was dim, it had already been way past eleven in the evening, mom was away for work again, those night shifts took a toll on her.
I could hear the shower running in my bathroom from the silence of my room. I groaned as I felt my thoughts slip away from me again, I would not think about how Bryan was literally naked and the only thing that separated was a door. Nope, I wouldn't, nuh-uh.
That being said, my dick had an entirely different agenda. My uncontrollable hormones would be the death of me. I bent my knees so that I could hide my boner which was already at half-mast and wasn't going away anytime soon.
I patiently—impatiently—waited for Bryan to stop showering so I could put my mind to rest once again, my entire being was captivated by him. So I sat there, my lower half-hidden by my comfy covers and my naked chest exposed. I waited and waited for my man to make an appearance but he just wouldn't appear.
I ground my teeth together. I fished up my phone from the bedside table and scrolled away on social media in hopes of drifting my attention elsewhere, it wasn't working, the only thing I could focus on was the sound of water running in the shower. What the fuck was taking him so long?
As if on cue, the sound vanished and my pulse involuntarily picked up, curse my stupid body, it was practically trembling in the anticipation. This would be a very long and awkward night, I had to call dibs on being the small spoon tonight. My abrupt train of thought had reached it's station when the door opened and a sexy piece of a man walked out.
Bryan stood tall in nothing but a towel around his waist, his chiseled chest and legs were put on display for me, I would have given anything to touch him at that moment and my expression must have shown my unending interest. His dark hair was still damp as if he'd only ran a towel over his hair.
I avoided looking at his eyes because I knew I would immediately get lost in them and lose whatever ounce of self-control I had over my body. Of course, my traitorous eyes met his and time froze.
He had a smug expression in his eyes, he knew. He knew that he was torturing me and he was enjoying it. Christ on a bike. Bryan let out a small chuckle and shook his head in a teasing manner, his focus was back on my eyes in a heartbeat and I trembled out of excitement, thinking about how this night could end.
Before I could process anything and overthink absolutely everything, the towel around his waist had found itself on the floor and all that Bryan had was on display for me and only me.
I marveled in the beauty that was approaching me with an assertive stride.