Playing Rough

Chapter XVII

Chapter XVII ─ Solace

[ A S H   G R E Y ]

"Hot," I remarked.

"Listen, I know how fucked up this all is and I never meant to hurt you, but will you plea—hot?" Michael stared at me with a scowl, ending his guilt-ridden rant.

"Yeah, it's pretty hot." I pushed my point with a smirk.

"Aren't you supposed to be upset or something? I just told you that I kissed my childhood best friend while I was in a relationship with you." My boyfriend voiced his confusion and I put on a thinking look on my face. 

It wasn't every day that you had your boyfriend barging into your room while you tried to scrounge up the few hours of sleep after a night of partying. This hangover fucking sucked, by the way. It wasn't every day that the previously mentioned boyfriend told you he kissed a guy the same night. 

I should've been mad and devastated by this, cheating was no joke and for a moment it hurt. But I couldn't stay mad at Michael with how things have been unraveling between the two of us for who knows how long, so I decided to mess with him.

"You're right, I am going to throw an absolute fit and punch you right now." I mocked offense and frowned at him. "How dare you do this to me! How dare you go out and make out with a guy while I rolled up a joint with one of my friends! And how dare you not give me more details, the fuck dawg?" I exclaimed melodramatically and softly punched his shoulder.

"You-, I-, what? You're not making any sense right now," Michael stuttered in confusion, rubbing fingers against his temple. "So, you're not mad at me? Should I be mad that you're not mad at me? Because honestly, I feel like shit about this." 

I sighed and tried to give him a reassuring smile before I spoke. "Listen, M. We've been through hell and beyond together, we've been there for each other and we've been honest with each other but not really with ourselves. Remember when we started dating? Remember how hurt and done with everything we both were? We found comfort in each other in a dire time, abused it, and tried to turn it into something that wouldn't work out. We always preached honesty, right? We were always very transparent with each other, but we avoided talking about our issues like the plague. We're both guilty of that." I paused to study Michael's reaction, before continuing. "To answer your question, I'm not mad at you, I'm a little upset, sure. And you should feel like shit for not doing anything about our relationship before you locked lips with another person, but I'd rather focus on the fact that this could be something good for both of us. We're best friends, Michael, but we're not meant to be anything more than just best friends and I'm sorry I had to be the one to say it."