"Actually..." Mack slowly cuts the silence, drawing all eyes. "You can't."
My heart stops, and an icy shiver runs up my spine.
"Derek asked me to look into it when he first found out about you. There are very few cases of human mates recorded, but almost all of them don't survive the marking process," she continues, putting a damper on any questions.
Dead? Chris could kill me?
Chris turns me to him, desperate to reassure me. "Baby, look at me. Nothing's going to happen to you." He cups my cheek, guiding me to look at him. "I don't need to mark you to know you're mine."
"B-but isn't it important?" I stammer.
Chris caresses soothing circles on my cheek with his thumb and smiles at me. "Nowhere near as important as you are to me. We can talk more about it later. I don't want you to worry about this, okay?"
All I can do is nod, since there's already so much on his plate.
Lunch wraps up shortly after that and everyone heads back to the boardroom, though I opt to stay behind. My mind runs full speed—talks of war have my nerves up enough, but the marking possibly killing me is over the top.
All the mated pairs are marked—hell, even Cyrus nearly forcefully marked me. If it wasn't for Derek's intervention, I could be dead already. The thought sends fresh shivers down my spine.
Mack sits down next to me and gives my hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry Jess, I didn't mean for it to come out that way," she says, locking her sympathetic green eyes on mine.
"I mean, it is what it is. I just don't really know what to think about it..." I trail off.
"It doesn't change anything. Not having a claim mark on your neck won't make Chris love you less," Derek says, taking a seat. "Get out of your head. It won't do you any good," he growls.
Although I hear his words, I can't help the sense of doubt growing in me.
"What has Chris told you about Jude?" Derek asks, changing the topic
"Just that he thinks he sold us out..." I trail off. My stomach twists at the thought of Jude being behind any of this. Yet from our very first meeting, I was so sure of the goodness in him, if I was wrong about that, what else am I wrong about?
"And what do you think?" He asks.
"I don't know. I can't ignore the evidence Chris laid out..." I trail off.
"But?" Derek prompts.
"My gut says there's something more there. What reason would he have to do this? I can't come up with any motivation whatsoever. He wanted to be a part of this pack. Why would he sell them out?" Mostly, I just can't imagine my closest friend turning on me. He's become so important to me, and always been there when I needed him, until that night...
"Then where is he?" He sighs and shares a look with Mack. "You have to admit it's an awful big coincidence that he starts to spend more time here and rogues are able to strike the heart of Still Waters... I mean you guys have been joined at the hip from the start and he just happens to have an errand to run the night you're taken?"
I hang my head and shake it. "I don't know, but what if something happened to him? That's the only thing I can think of." Derek watches me with an unreadable look.
"We'll know soon enough, I suppose. The plan is nearly set and the attack will happen in two days." He pauses before speaking again, picking his words carefully. "Jess... If Chris finds him on the wrong side, he won't hesitate to kill him for his betrayal," Derek warns, sending cold shivers down my spine.
'He won't be there. They're wrong. He didn't sell us out.' God, I hope you're right, but where the hell is he!?
The rest of the day goes by quietly. The meeting wraps up before dinner but everyone takes off to start preparations. Dinner is a somber event with none of the usual light-hearted conversations, just small strategic talk and planning. There's only one full day to prepare before the following day's attack.
Their world is far more violent than I had ever imagined. There's a reason they are always training and patrolling. Chris assures me that this is just part of their world, that they've been through it before and that everything will be fine.
I can't help but worry. This isn't cops and robbers with jail; this is life and death. They were lucky when they raided the rogue dungeon to get us. There were injuries but nothing serious and no losses on our side.
This is a much larger assault, hitting where the rogues are dug in. Eric is sending his best scouts in deep to help pinpoint the enemy's location. Crimson Dawn's role will be more of a defense and support role where they can block any retreat and aid if they can.
Rob is supposed to flank in from the west and attack with Chris, who will be coming in from the southeast. I'm no tactician, but their plan sounds solid.. Still, something is bothering me, but I have no idea what.
-----
The night before the attack has everyone on edge. Chris is busy with preparations, so I only see at dinner. I feel him come to bed late, much like the night before. I think he's trying to keep me from worrying, but the space just makes all my anxiety worse.
He slips in silently behind me, trying hard not to jostle me awake, but sleep evades me.
I roll over to face him. "Hey."
"You should be sleeping," he murmurs, brushing his knuckles across my cheek. I lean into his caress, my body craving his touch.
I slide my hands up his bare, muscular chest and feel his tension and worry, even with him trying to hide it. "I couldn't sleep," I mumble. My words are true, but my mind is elsewhere now.
Slowly, I bring my lips to his, softly at first, but he deepens the kiss, wrapping a hand behind my neck. I nip at his bottom lip, asking for access, which he gladly grants as his fingers knot in my hair.
The tension slowly leaves his body as our kissing heats up. He lets me roll him onto his back, taking me with him. His eyes flash with amusement and excitement as I settle in on top of him. His hands slowly slide up my bare thighs before settling to grip my ass tightly, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
Chris groans into my kiss as he grinds my hips against his while his straining excitement begs to be freed from his boxers. His hands move up to my shirt's hem, forcing me to break our kiss only long enough to pull it off. He eyes me hungrily as his hands roam my body greedily, landing on my bare breasts.
His eyes swirl with lust as I lean into his touch, tossing my head back and savouring every sensation. I feel him move under me to roll us over, but I shift my hips, pinning him in place. His brow shoots up in surprise as a curious smirk crosses his face.
I bring my lips back to his, brushing my breasts across his chest and earning a rumble of approval before trailing my attention down his jaw line over his neck, settling on his sweet spot. His fingers dig into my hips, pulling me tighter to him as he grinds harder, causing the throbbing in my core to grow.
Chris lifts his shoulder, trying to roll us again—he's too used to calling the shots. This time, I have to pin his hips and shoulder to maintain control. His eyes lock with mine, flashing brown as his frustration begins to show.
I can't help my grin as my gaze rakes over him in this new light, this god beneath me. Never did I ever think a man could make me feel things like he does. Hell, he can give me just one look and I melt, whereas his touch is magic. He can put me at complete ease or wake up a heated desire in the blink of an eye.
Chris smirks as he loops a finger under the edge of my panties. With a quick flick, he rips through the lace like paper.
"Really?!" I say with a disapproving frown.
In answer, he hooks his finger under the other side and rips through it as well, tossing the shredded lace aside and leaving me bare. "Really," he replies, his husky voice intensifying the throbbing in my core. A triumphant smile spreads across his face as he takes me in, causing me to blush.
His own member strains hard at the thin material between us. He growls in frustration as I slowly but deliberately grind against him while we kiss. His hands slide back to my ass, controlling the movement.
He just can't surrender all control.
Unable to hold back any more, I kneel forward, hooking a finger under his waistband and signalling I want them off. He's only too happy to oblige, kicking them off as fast as possible.
I wrap my fingers around his hard shaft, earning a hiss of approval. "Fuck, Jess," he growls. He's already fully hard and straining to be put to good use. I shimmy back on my knees, positioning myself above him, and lock my eyes on his as I sink down on him. His eyes flicker between green and brown as I slowly take every inch of him in, stretching me delightfully to the max.
His head lulls back, but he keeps his eyes locked on mine as I start to move on him, lifting, dropping, and grinding slowly. His hands grab my hips tightly as he takes control, guiding me to ride him faster and harder.
I moan out his name as he hits that sweet spot deep in me as my core tightens, building to my release. He's done holding back and sits up while I ride him, his hands already control the speed and rhythm, not that I mind.
His lips lock with mine before he works his way down my neck. He grunts and I feel him start to twitch within me. We're so close now, my breathing reduces to shallow pants. He bites down, sending me over, triggering his own release as I clamp down around him.
He rides out my waves as I turn to jelly with him. I'm spent and all of his tension has left his body. We settle back into bed wrapped up in each other, just enjoying the moment.
"I'm scared," I admit in a whisper.
"Don't be baby, I won't let anything happen to you," he whispers, kissing my head and wrapping me tighter in his arms.
I shake my head. "I'm worried something will happen to you," I mumble. "We just got back together and you're running headlong into a war."
"It has to be done," he says with a shrug. "They will come again otherwise. It's better for us to call the shots and bring the fight to them with allies than to have them blindside us again."
I nod, but I can't shake this feeling.
He lifts my chin to bring my gaze to his. "I'm coming back–don't ever doubt that."
That is exactly what I'm afraid of, that this might be our last night together.
My chest tightens at the thought. I have to drop my gaze to keep my composure. I focus on the steady beating of his heart to keep my tears at bay.
"Baby, look at me. I promise I will be back in bed with you the following night, then we can put this whole mess behind us." His conviction is strong, and I want nothing more than to believe him.
Before long, we drift off, but my dreams are troubled. This nightmare doesn't feel normal...
Something's off.
I'm in the middle of the fight. Wolves are fighting and dying all around me, but no one pays any attention to me, like I'm a ghost. In the center, I see a black wolf taken from his flank by his guard. He spins in surprise at the betrayal, but he catches on too late as a charcoal wolf rips out his throat.
Betrayal keeps bouncing through my mind. Chris's words about being betrayed on their way to get us come crashing back.
Jude. Chris thinks he has betrayed us... What does this dream mean? The wolf in the dream wasn't Jude's, but who was it?
I jolt up in bed, finally free of my nightmare. Dread washes over me as I realize I'm alone. Chris' side of the bed is long cold. Quickly, I throw on the first pants and top I find and head to the door to go downstairs.
A note on the door stops me dead in my tracks. The sense of dread has such a hold in my chest it's threatening to cut off all the air into my lungs. With a trembling hand, I grab the note and read it.
My heart,
Leaving you in bed was the hardest thing to do. Stay safe for me and I'll be back for you as soon as I can.
Always yours,
Chris