I woke up and felt a soft kiss on my cheek. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Reed's perfect face staring back at me. The morning sunshine peeked through the barn window and into the living area, making me realize we had spent the night on the couch together. I glanced down and noticed the fluffy blanket over the both of us. I was in my underwear and small t-shirt, and he was in boxers and bare-chested, showing his ripped physique.
That moment was not lost on me, the "sleepover" was a big deal. I had only woken up in the morning with one other person in my life. This particular step in a relationship was serious, and I didn't take that lightly.
"Good morning," Reed said with a huge smile as he adjusted his arm around me, most likely there most of the night.
I smiled back, but internally, I was sort of freaking out.
We had just went from a casual hookup to spending the night with one another with little thought of what that actually meant.
After getting dressed, Reed headed to the door while I trailed behind. The sun shined even more bright into the barn when he opened the door. He walked out as I hung out in the doorway, still in my underwear and t-shirt. He turned back and smiled.
"I had a great time last night," he sweetly said.
"Me too."
He leaned in and gave me a short kiss on my lips as I warmly embraced him.
As Reed walked towards his truck, I stayed in the doorway watching him, wondering if we had moved too fast in our relationship.
"Um, hello? Anyone in there?" Lily said, waving her hand in front of my face that was half-covered by a baseball cap to hide from any lurking fans who recognized me.
It took a few seconds to get my bearings and realize I had wandered off in my own daydream, reliving the morning events as I sat in a cozy coffee shop across from Lily, my best friend, public relations expert, and assistant.
Lily, a petite-little thing who had more energy than I could ever receive from any latte or espresso from the coffee shop, realized mid-sentence I had totally blanked out from the conversation. Lily sat back in her chair, arms crossed, all-business, taking her job seriously, and annoyed, I was not.
When I first met Lily Monroe, I had just moved to Nashville, entering my senior year at a new high school. Some kids knew about the YouTube videos but most didn't care. Lily, with more of a rock and roll soul, introduced herself to me in gym class when we needed partners to warm-up. She asked just to be nice, no pretense or agenda. We were total opposites, she would never listen to a country song on her own. That's probably one of the reasons why our relationship worked so well.
After graduation and when my first album was all coming together, I needed someone I could trust to be with me during the process. Lily had already decided on a gap year, instead of going straight to college, so I convinced her to hop on the journey with me, knowing she was the one person who could excel at the job.
The gap year allowed her talents to shine, her one-year of "trying things out" turned into a permanent career.
"I'm sorry," I said, apologizing to Lily for daydreaming and being rude.
I took a sip of coffee hoping she wouldn't do a deep-dive into the reasons why I wasn't listening.
No such luck.
"Do tell me what is more important than knowing what you're supposed to be doing in the next month to become the next Carrie Underwood. Please tell me, because I can't wait to hear this one," she said half-sarcastically with a little smile, knowing I was famous for the most random thoughts one could have at the wrong moment.
"Thanks boss for having faith in me," I said, more defensive than I usually would be.
Lily emerged from her seat, intrigued at my statement which deviated from my usual apology for my scattered brain.
"What's up? You're acting weird," she said, all in with her full attention on me.
At that point, I couldn't confide in her about Reed. Walt could never find out about us, especially after he slept over. Except for Reed, I'd never kept anything from Lily...well, except for one other small detail I was holding back.
As we sat next to the window, I glanced at the various people walking on the sidewalk, trying to avoid eye contact with Lily.
"The song...I think I made a mistake, " I said, grimacing at the potential repercussions.
Lily was completely lost.
"What song?"
I paused for a second, turned my gaze to meet hers, and then leaned in.
"Honestly," I whispered.
Lily was totally caught off guard.
"Please tell me I'm being punk'd," she said, looking around the room hoping for someone, anyone, to come out and tell her whatever I had to say would be a bad joke.
The silence was deafening.
Lily quickly realized there was a storm approaching, one she was deliberately not told about.
"OMG, I'm sweating," she said in a full-blown panic attack.
"Just calm down."
"What is going on, Nicky Peters, because I'm feeling like it's not so positive. You better spill now."
I took a long breath and composed my thoughts.
"I lied. " I thought for a second, "I know I said the song was about a friend's experience but there's a little more to it."
"A little more to what?" Lily asked.
"It's about me."
"What do you mean it's about you?"
"It's a friend's story, I'm just the other part of the story. I guess you can say it's about an ex-friend of mine and me. Our relationship."
"You mean, the most talked about song of the album is about you and an ex and I'm finding out about this now?" she said, eyes slightly bulging out of her head.
"Not an ex...it's just complicated," I said, looking down at the ground, knowing complicated was an understatement.
Lily sat back in her chair, replaying every word I had just said. As she processed the small amount of details I just confessed, all of sudden, it was like she had an epiphany of some sort.
She enthusiastically sat up.
"Who cares?" she said, almost trying to convince herself and me this is how we were going to approach this publicity disaster.
"No one knows, and if you're asked, just be vague. I mean, it's not the first time a singer has sung about some guy or girl, and heartache. You get what I'm saying," she said, gesturing with her hands to emphasize her words.
I understood what Lily was saying, but I didn't care about what other people thought, just the one person in the entire world who would understand all too well what the song was about.
When I first wrote the melody to the song, my mom had just passed. I was more emotional and reflective on everything in my life.
Maybe the song was a form of revenge.
Maybe I hoped he would secretly regret what he did after we stopped being best friends.
Maybe he would feel the pain as much as I did during that difficult time.
All these things I had obsessed over in the past, but my life was good at that moment.
Reliving the past was the last thing I wanted to do.
When I went home later that day, I met up with my father who was cutting some sunflowers in the garden near the chicken coop.
"You definitely have a green thumb," I said to him as I snuck up behind him.
He turned around and smiled.
"Your mom was jealous. This was the one and only thing I could do better than her."
"How many times did she try to grow vegetables from seed? She got so mad when nothing would grow, that was a sight to see."
My father nodded his head in agreement and then turned back to the sunflowers. We had finally gotten to a point where we could share memories of my mother and be grateful about the time spent with her instead of being bitter at the time lost without her.
"I see you've had some company lately," he said nonchalantly.
Leave it to my clueless dad to notice the one thing I didn't want him to see, Reed. Before I could answer him back, he followed up.
"It's none of my business. What happens on the farm stays on this farm?" then he paused, "As long as he makes you happy."
"He does," I said responding quicker than I thought I would.
Before our conversation continued, I received an email from Lily saying that my old high school's music department was struggling and may be defunded. They were asking me to help with a fundraiser to save the program. She attached the email from the school and told me to look it over.
I summarized the email for my dad and thought about the music department. The program did have a special place in my heart. I never really fit in at school, but everyone in the department was always so accommodating and encouraging. If they were in trouble, I would try to help any way necessary. Both my dad and I agreed, I was all in.
Out of curiosity, I still opened the email to find more detailed information on what they were asking me to do. I scrolled through the email and found out they were wondering if I would put on a small concert during the music department's fundraiser.
I continued to scroll down to the end where the representatives from the school were listed, the superintendent, principal, and so forth, including other administration.
Among the many names, one stood out like a sore, aching thumb.
So many questions swirled around my head causing me to be dizzy for a second.
My silence was not lost on my father.
"Anything wrong," he asked, walking over to me to take a peek at what was causing my sudden loss for words.
"Nothing," I said, shaking my head and flashing a fake a smile his way.
I quickly placed the phone in my pocket before he could see anything.
"Ok, honey. Dinner will be ready around 7," he said, smiling back at me.
"I'll be there."
I couldn't fake a smile anymore, but I was lucky, he had turned to head towards the farmhouse before my face went blank.
The person who I thought I'd never have to face again was asking me to go back home, just before my new single about him would hit the airwaves.
Life couldn't get any more complicated.