The next morning I see a very happy or excited Betty skip down the hall towards me.
"Hey friend."She chirps.
Friend.
"What's up?"I ask.
She rolls her eyes,
"Good morning to you too.Bad weekend?"
I frown.
Something is definitely up.
"No,pretty good actually.And yours?"
I slam my locker shut and start walking.
She skips beside me.
"Great.Mine was like,the best ever.I met this awesome guy at the party and we just clicked."
I grin.
"That's great.Did you do a little smooching?"
"No.However-"She pauses.
"He did ask me out on a date for Thursday."
"Aw,so did you need to borrow some clothes?"I ask,she wouldn't just come to me with this news without some kind of favor.
"Actually,I need a teeny weeny little favor."She says slowly.
"Out with it."
She sighs.
"My parents are going out of town for two days and that means I'm supposed to be watching Jake and Danny on Thursday."
"So what do you need me for?"I ask.
"Babysit them,please?I need to go on this date.I don't have his number to change it and we agreed to meet at Kelsey's."She clasps her hands together.
"Babysit?Jake and Danny.Why me?"I ask.
"They've known you for a long time and they love you.You're great with Danny.Please."She begs.
"Yeah, I'll do it.Of course."I say.
She hugs me.
"You are the best."
"I haven't seen them in forever."I murmur.
"That's a given,we haven't been at my place in forever."Betty said.
"And why's that?"I ask.
"We haven't gotten together as much as we used to.But,I plan on having you girls over soon."Betty says, checking her phone.
"Shit,gotta go.Thanks again."She pauses.
"Oh and,can you pick them up and keep then at your house and not mine?"
I shrug.
"I guess.But you just said you guys were gonna meet at Kelsey's so why not your place?"
She winks.
"In case we decide to come home early.And I don't want little rascals around to scare him off."
I wave as she runs down the halls ahead of me.
With Betty,you just never know.
***********
"Hey,"Blake says, I walk up to his truck and he rolls his window down.
"Hi."I say.
"Something wrong?"He asks, opening his door.
I step aside and cross my arms.
"No."
"You wanna go to my room?"I ask.
"Yeah sure,I don't care."
He says,putting a hand in my shoulder.
"Okay,let's go."I turn around to lead the way,his hand slides from my shoulder and onto the small of my back,he keeps it there as we walk up to the front door and I open it.
"Anyone home?"He asks.
I shake my head.
"Mom will probably be soon.But for now it's just us."
Once in my room I sit down on my bed and lean against the headboard.
He slowly sits down beside me.
Taking my hand,he looks into my eyes.
"What's really wrong?"
I chuckle and tap his nose.
"Nothing.I'm gonna let you do the talking today."
He sighs in relief and kicks his shoes off,making himself comfortable beside me.
He puts one arm around me and I immediately rest my head on his chest.
"In that case,how was your day?"He asks.
"Interesting.Yours?"
"You go first.How was it interesting?"
He asks.
I itch my nose and tell him about Betty asking me to babysit.
"So I can't hang out with you in Thursday?"He asks.
"Well,maybe right after school.Her date shouldn't be until like seven."I say.
"True.So we could squeeze in an hour."He murmurs.
"Definitely.Now,how was your day?"I ask.
He plays with my thumb and fingers.
"I have something to tell you."He says.
I stiffen and he tightens his arm around me.
"I don't know if I ever told you but I got kicked out of my last two schools,"He pauses.
"No,I don't think you have.Keep going."I tell him softly.
Enjoying just sitting here,talking to him.
Realizing this is exactly what I had wanted in a relationship.
"Well,yeah,I did.So no other school would take me in right away ane Picasso high was kind enough to allow me to do homeschooling first.See how I played that out,and I've done good and now-"He stops.
I sit up and pull my hair out of its ponytail before I lay down on my bed.
So I could look at his face better.
"And now-a few weeks ago we got a letter saying they would take in as a student attending classes."He finishes slowly.
My brain is registering all his words in my head.
"So they are allowing you to go to school?"
He nods.
"And you're considering it?"
He smiles.
"Well,duh.Especially with you there now."
I bite my cheek.
He slides down to lay beside me.
Pulling at my hair.
"You don't want me to."
I roll onto my side and face him,also toying with his hair.
It needs to be cut.Maybe an army haircut style.
"I do.I want you there,"I say.
"But?"He asks.
I sigh.
"But I don't see how that would be taking us slow."
"I regret ever saying that."He says.
"Listen,you going to school there has a lot of influence on my decision but I'd also like to think I'm doing it for me.I think I'm ready to handle it."
"What do you mean handle it?"I ask.
"Don't wanna get into that right now.The past.I'm thinking about the future.My future."He says,I sit up suddenly.
"The future?"I breathe.
"Blake,we've been at this for not even two weeks and the future just seems a little fast."
"I know."He says,pulling at my arm.
"Hey,just lay down with me again,please?"
I silently lay my head on his chest.
After a moment of silence he kisses my forehead.
"Can I just ask you something?"
I nod.
"If I decide to go,will you be cheering me on or will I have gone against you?"
I take a deep breath.
Get yourself together,Lou.
"I'll be there.With you.For you."I whisper.
"That means the world to me."He says.
I smile.
"I'll go get some food."
Sitting up he puts his arm around me and holds me tight.
"And no more intense-close arguments after that.Okay?"I ask.
"No."He sighs.
"I should get home.Discuss this with my parents."
"Wait-"I stop him.
"Your parents?What do they say about all this?"
He smiles softly.
"They were more then happy when that letter came three weeks ago."
"Three weeks ago? Why'd you not just make the decision then?Why wait?"I ask.
"They wanted to see me do better first.Before giving the school board an answer."He says a matter of factly.
"Do better then what?"
He sighs and takes my hand.
"Lou,I don't wanna get into it right now.But yeah,I was a mess back when and although they've agreed I've been doing much better since I broke up with Sandra they also agreed to give it some more time,they saw me happy, because-"He stops and looks into my eyes.
"Because since I've met you and been around you I've been happier,I've been better then they've seen me in a long time.And they wanted to wait and see if it was just a little fling or if I was really ready for school again."
My heart stops.
"That's very sweet,Blake."
"Yeah,it is."He chuckles.
"So why aren't you all happy and excited like I thought you would be?"
"I wish I could be but-"I sigh.
He gets up.
"But what?You know,this really isn't the reaction I was hoping for."
I can tell he's irritated.
"I just-please think about this more before you make a decision."
I get up and walk over to him,placing my hands on his chest.
"Just give it more time.I feel like if we'd go to school together now,it'd just be fast forwarding our relationship."I tell him.
"A lot of couples-should I say like every teenage couple goes to the same school."He argues.
"That's because they met in school,we met outside of school."I snip.
He backs away from me.
I sigh.
"Blake,all I'm asking is you put more thought into this. Give us some time to grow."
"Well it's not like if I accepted the offer if be in school tomorrow.I'd probably have to wait a couple weeks."He says.
I swallow hard.
"Okay.Makes sense.But even so,high school can be tough on anyone let alone someone with anger issues-"
"Anger issues?"Blake barks.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."I say quickly.
"But I just assumed you got kicked out of those other schools because of anger..."
"That's right,you assumed."He says calmly,walking towards the door.
I rush ahead of him and stand in front of it so he can't leave.
"Don't leave like this."
"Like what?Angry?"
I squeeze my eyes close.
"I made one slip in my sentence and you're gonna keep bringing it up?"
"Just like I did when I said I wanted to take it slow."He says,
I put a finger to his lips.
"So we're even."I say.
His eyes narrow and he shakes his head.
"Listen,I'm sorry I said that and I'm really sorry I'm not reacting the way you hoped I would."I say,
He sighs.
"I should've just gone ahead and surprised you in the halls my first day."
I nearly gasp.
"I'm glad you didn't."
His head snaps to face me.
"It would've definitely been a great surprise but you coming here,talking to me about it first,makes me feel important.And special."I explain.
He tilts my chin up.
"You are important."
His face softening.
"And special."
I press my lips together and step away from the door.
Knowing he won't leave now.
He follows me and pins me to the wall.
"I'm sorry for ever saying I wanna take things slow."He says,coming closer.
"Why is that?"I ask.
He smirks.
"Because every time you worry I wanna kiss that frown away."
I swallow hard.
"I'm not worried."
He's so confusing.
He laughs.
"Yes.Yes you are."
I roll my eyes and decide to play along.
"Then why,"I look up to meet his eyes and let my eyes look into them for a second then let them linger on his lips.
"Why aren't you kissing it away?"
"Damn you're good at flirting."He says, coming close enough for me to close my eyes.
I open them again when nothing happens and see he's backing away.
"And you're good at disappointing."I mutter.
"So I've been told."He teases.
"As much as I wanna stay.I should go now."He says.
"What?!"I throw my hands up.
"The fun was just beginning."
"Uh-huh.It was."He says, moving towards the door.
"Okay fine."I pout.
"Walk me out?"He asks.
"I guess."
I stop at the top of the stairs when I see my mom at the bottom.
"Geez,move your ass-"Blake stops short when he sees who I see.
He pales and I'm unable to keep from laughing.
"Come on."I take his hand.
"Can't we go back up?I really don't have to leave just yet."He asks.
"Cynthi-who is this ?"Vivian asks,her long newly manicured nail pointing at Blake.
"It's Blake.You remember."I say,
"Hi,Mrs.Conley."Blake says.
Vivian gives him a once over and shakes her head.
"You just go from bad to worse,don't you sweetie?"
Anger flares up inside of me and Blake can sense it.
"Well,I really gotta go."He says, pushing me away from my mom and towards the front door.
"I'm sorry about her."I mutter once we're outside.
"Don't let her bring you down.You're amazing."He says,
"I try."I offer.
"Will you be ok?"He asks.
I nod.
"Yeah.Just dandy."
"You know what?"He says, reaching into his pocket and fishing out his phone.
"I'll call my parents and tell them I won't make it home for another couple hours and then I'll take you to the rooftop with pizza."
I smile and grab his phone.
"That'd be awesome,but I'm really ok.You should go talk to your parents."
"Are you sure?"
I nod.
"Positive.I deal with this all the time."
He gives me a quick small smile.
"Okay,I promise I'll think about it some more before making a decision."
I pull him closer and give him a hug.
"Thank you."
**********
Tuesday I run into the coach and ask him when the next game was gonna be.
Looking surprised that I didn't know this,he tells me that games are every Friday and I thank him and go straight to find Justine.
Friday.
"What do you want?"She snaps.
I blink,not expecting that.
"First of all, apologize.I shouldn't have blown up at you that ugly day."
I wait for her to say something and when she doesn't I continue.
"And second,if you run into Elle or any other cheerleaders will you tell them there's practice today after school?"
She slams her locker door shut and faces me.
"Why would I do that?"
"Because you're co-captain and you know more about this then anyone so you must know that the game is in less than a week and we need to be prepared."I spit,I'm trying to be nice but I really wish she was too.
"Ok."Justine simply says after giving me a long hard look,then she tilts her head and brushes past me.
I should've never ever run for captain.Ever.I'm not even into this.
All throughout the day I worry about practice.
I'm supposed to know what I'm doing.
What in the world was Ann thinking?just randomly choosing me for captain.
She should've chosen someone experienced.
Finally the last bell rings and I grab my stuff and rush out of the classroom.
Tasha on my heel.
"I'm so excited."She gushes.
"That's great.I'm worried sick."I tell her.
"Why?"
"Because Tasha,I have no clue what to do.I'm not cut out for this."I say.
"You are so cut out for it.Most cheerleading type I've ever known.And just chill,have you practiced any choreographed moves?You know you could get them off of movies and stuff.They can give you a lot of ideas."Tasha says.
I don't say anything as we push through the gym doors.
No,I haven't watched any movies about cheerleading or thought of any moves or choreographed anything.
Because this isn't for me.
"Lou, seriously,don't sweat this.You're Lou."Tasha tries to comfort me.
"Where's Jennifer?"I ask,changing the subject.
"Here I am!"Jennifer bursts through the girls locker room door.
"I'm not late,am I?"She asks me,going directly to her locker and opening it.
I shake my head.
"Nope."
"See you guys out there."I murmur and pick up my sweater.
Tomorrow or whenever we have another practice I should remember to bring a water bottle.
I didn't realize that as soon as I left the locker room the others all hurry after me.
It hits me then that they probably think I am in a rush.
When all I had wanted was to have a couple minutes to myself.
They automatically line up in front of the bleachers and look at me expectantly.
I swallow hard.
Here goes nuts .
"Hey, everyone."I start off with a small smile.
"First of all, yes,we haven't held a practice in forever.But I hope you've all been practicing and are still in shape.The game is on Friday,and we've got to get a move on."
I take a deep breath.
"And next, I'm gonna ask for Justine to step up here and help me out because she's pro at this and I'll be taking pointers from her."
Justine looks shocked and I hear a few snickers.
Oh well.
I'm lost here.
Justine talks about what needs to be done and how we can get there and be ready on time.
Every now and then looking at me and actually including me a little.
I nod along, put in a few words here and there.
Some of it makes sense to me,but most of it doesn't.
"Lets warm up and after that I'll let you all voice your ideas on what kinda moves we want."I say, tournament or whatever sounds very complicated so I'm relieved as heck this game isn't a going away one.
"That's supposed to be your job."A girl says.
I flash her a sweet smile.
"Well, I'll of course have the final say in everything but I want to hear you guys' ideas too.After all, we're a team."
I take a deep breath.
"And we're here to support our players."
Tasha nods at me and Jennifer winks.
"That being said,let's start warming up."I say,waving my hands.
"Oh and,how would everyone like to to have weekly practices?Tuesdays and Thursdays how about?"
"Works for me."Elle says.
I let out a long breath when everyone starts warming up and exercising.
I go along with them,giving out advice on how to pose better,how to jump a little higher and then talk turns into making banners to put up in the halls before
our next game,I ask if anyone is interested in covering that, because,well, I'm gonna be busy and I have no clue what to do.
before I know it it's ten minutes to four and Jennifer raises her hand.
"Yeah Jen?You got an idea?"I ask.
She shakes her head.
"No but I need to be home by four.I have work at five."
"Ok,then I guess we'll wrap it up for today."I announce.
"Thank God."Wendy says,picking up her stuff.
I try not to let my hurt show as everyone leaves the gym.
My heart sinks and I put my head in my hands.
I so blew this.
I can't do this.
I'm gonna ruin this team.
A hand on my shoulder makes me jump.
"Geez Liam,"I snap.
"Whoa,sorry..."He says.
"Hey,you ok?"
I sigh.
"No.I'm not.I totally blew this.I'm gonna ruin this team and everyone knows it."
"Come on,by the looks of it,it went great.Don't be so hard on yourself "Liam says,
"No seriously,that woman didn't know what she was doing when she chose me to be captain.I don't know why she was here in the first place."I groan.
"This was only the first try.You'll get it eventually."He assures me.
I huff and roll my eyes.
"Yeah,eventually."
"Thanks for trying to help,Liam.I gotta go, though."I tell him.
"Anytime.Hang in there."He says,I wave before disappearing into the girls locker room.
**********
At home I pace back and forth in my bedroom.
Who would I go to if I wanted to quit cheerleading?
This whole thing just started when stupid Ms.Becker said I had to participate in school activities.She'll no doubt make me do something else.
Is there something else I'd rather do?
She suggested ballet.
No.
As much as I love dancing, ballet just seems so-not me.
I let out a frustrated sigh and went to look out my window.
I run downstairs and open the front door,then close it again when I see Blake's truck isn't waiting for me in the drive.
What is taking him?
I mean,he never said he'd come by today but he almost never did and he almost always still came.
I sit down in the living room.
I need to talk to someone about this.
Mina ditched me again for Ray.
Henry's not here.
Jennifer is at work.
Tasha isn't an option.She's all in how I'm perfect for captain.
The rest of my friends are just a no-go.
I lay down and ponder my life once again.
Maybe I should just hand the captain title over to Justine without telling coach,Ms.Becker or principal.
That wouldn't work.
But me being captain wouldn't be working either.
I'm gonna screw the whole team and make us all look like idiots.
Ok Blake,just please please please pull up in the drive.
I beg silently.
After another hour of pacing and worrying I put my hair into a tight ponytail and go into the kitchen to fix myself a sandwich.
Blake's not coming today.
Mina's out.
Vivian's in her office.
You have the evening all to yourself.
I tell myself and head upstairs.
I make up my mind and get my phone to Google up good cheerleading choreographed moves.
I roll my eyes in disbelief when I realize most everything in my phone has to be set up.
Quickly I scroll through it and then realize I barely know anything about this phone.
I take a few selfies to check out the camera,pretty decent.
I like my gallery.
And file manager.
Classy and cute.
I finish my sandwich as I watch a few videos on Google.
Then I get into leggings and sports top.
I step onto my balcony and start stretching.
"Go,Dangers.Go!"I chant quietly, waving my arms out and in.
All I need is pom-poms.
If I'm gonna be captain,I might as well be in great shape.
But as I'm exercising I think of how I take this spot for granted.
I just want to sit down now and enjoy the slight breeze and am even tempted to go find a good book to read but I shake the feeling off.
I'm a cheerleader now.
And captain.
I'm gonna do this.And I'm gonna do it well.
I'm gonna succeed.
With that in mind I bend over and for the first time in a long time I'm able to touch my finger to my toes.
**********
"Good morning!"Mina sings the next morning,I groan and rub my eyes before opening them.
Mina ks dancing around my room, picking up my leggings and top that I had left on the floor last night,and humming softly.
"Rise and shine!"Mina says, throwing my robe onto my face.
I sit up and it falls from my face.
"What's got you so happy?"
Mina pauses and grins at me.
"Ray."
I roll my eyes.
"Could've guessed that one."
I pat the bed and she rushes over and sits down right in front of me.
Her face glowing.
"He took me on a date!"
"Like a real date.He made reservations and everything.I was so not dressed for that but he didn't seem to mind.And afterwards we had the most romantic walk at the beach."
She sighs dreamily.
"Sounds cheesy."I tease.
Honestly I love seeing her this happy.
"I love cheesy from now on in that case."She says.
"What about you?Did Blake come over?"
I shake my head and try not to let it show how disappointed I had been.
"He was probably busy.He'll probably come today."I say.
"We should go double dating sometime!"Mina exclaims.
My mood lights up.
"We should!"
She throws herself down onto my bed.
"I feel like such a teenager."
"I'll talk to Blake about it."I tell her.
"What's Ray like?"I ask,she sits up.
"Like whats he like like or-"
I nod.
"Like what's he like like."
She sighs again and rolls her eyes back.
"So dreamy.No, he's a talker.Once you get to know him and he'll talk.About anything and everything.And the fun part is there are certain subjects he just gets so carried away with.Like he's a major hockey fan so just learn which team he likes and start a conversation on that and he'll be talking about it for the rest of the day."
I laugh.
"Sounds interesting."
"It is.And his laugh,just comes so easily and like he's so free.And he makes me feel so special and does the nicest things.He'll pick a flower on the side of the road and bring it to me."She continues as I get up and check my phone,I log into my Instagram and scroll through it until I'm caught up.
I put my phone down and pad into my bathroom where I go through the usual routine of brushing my hair and teeth and applying a bit of makeup before going to my closet to find an outfit .
Mina's still laying on my bed.
"Okay dreambag,what should I wear today?"I ask.
"Don't wear a skirt today.Wear skinny jeans."She answers without looking at me.
"Skinny jeans it is then.But what top?"I wonder aloud.
She huffs.
"Don't ask for my opinion.You have too many so just pick one."
I chuckle,pulling a white Adidas t-shirt off the rack and a pair of white jeans.
Then shake my head,
Too white.
I put the shirt back and go for a red one instead,and choosing a pair of brown lace up low boots I close my closet door.
The boots will make my t-shirt and jeans look good.
"Is breakfast ready?"I ask before closing the bathroom door behind me.
"Good question.Your mom already left so I decided to start laundry and leave you to make yourself some breakfast."Mina answers.
"Nice try.I'll have orange juice and I'm good to go."I call,
I really would make myself an omelette or something because I'm craving it but I've got no time.
Unless I wanna be late for class,which at this point doesn't even matter.
My college spot is bought and paid for anyway so I'm just wasting my time through highschool.
Unless you decide to be brave and make the decision to go to college somewhere else.
Where your spot hasn't been bought.
With that thought I decide I can't be late for school,my future is planned but only if I go along with it.
But if decide to go to a different college,I really need to start looking at my grades.
"Whats taking you?"Mina calls .
I swing the door open and smile.
"Let the show begin again."
"Eat something too,please.Its not good to go without food for a long time."She calls after me as I run downstairs.
I laugh and flip my hair over my shoulder.
"From what I hear people can die from not eating for a long time!"
I don't hear her reply as I'm in the kitchen now and grab a glass before pouring myself some orange juice and then quickly I pop a bagel into the toaster.
I eat a buttered bagel on my way outside to my car and on the way to school.
***********
"Everything alright with you and Rick?"Suzy asks me in homeroom before the teacher is there.
"Just fine.Why?"I ask dryly.
"I haven't seen you guys talk in a long time.Just curious."She says.
"Apparently I haven't talked to anyone in a long time."I say.
"Have you and Peter talked recently?"
She shakes her head.
"I've tried countless times even after I said I wouldn't and he's looking at me with hopeful eyes until he realizes I just wanna talk and not get back together with him and then he goes blank and ignores me."
She sighs and flips her textbook open.
"Life's hard.I wish it didn't hurt him so much when I'm with another guy.I keep telling myself he'll get over it but I'm beginning to think I'm wrong."
I bite back a chuckle.
Of course he'll get over you,it might take a long time but he won't be pinning after you forever.
"He'll get over it.So..."I say slowly.
"Another guy?"
She laughs.
"Oh,yeah.I mean, I'm so not ready for another relationship but I'm totally down to roll a dice or two."
"Makes me wish there was a party after school."She mutters just as the teacher walks in.
I sit back in my chair and try to focus on the teacher.
Remember,you're trying to get good grades.
Suddenly Suzy sits up straight in front of me.
"I know!"
She turns around to face me,her face glowing.
"My parents are gone for the night.I should have a party."
The teachers slaps his hand onto Suzy's desk.
"Ms.Sanderson!"
She jumps and pales slightly.
"Sorry."
I'm surprised when he just warns her not to speak aloud again without raising her hand and returns to teaching.
I see she's scribbling something in her notebook and seconds later she slips a note onto my desk.
And I'm also not at all surprised at what she wrote.
Party at my (Suzy S) place tonight.Pass around.
I shake my head but lean over and skip the note onto the desk next to me.
"What do you mean you're not coming?"Suzy demands of me.
We're walking down the halls and I had just told her I won't be at her party tonight.
"I-"I pause, considering my next words.
I don't have plans.
"I'm captain of the cheerleading squad and due to that I'm totally stressed."
She rolls her eyes.
"It's gonna be the party of the decade and you're not gonna show?"
I sigh.
"Party of the decade?Not to burst your happy bubble but is word really gonna a get around that fast?"
"It's Picasso high we're talking about,this school is full of people who don't think about anything else then parties."She points out.
"I gotta agree with you on that one.But still I-"I squeeze my eyes closed.
"I might stop by but nothing for sure."
She squeals.
"Yes!And if you happen to run into any hot guys tell them about it.In case the message doesn't make it to them."
I chuckle.
"I thought word would get around fast enough without my help."
She smirks and lowers her eyes.
"Oh it will.Do you need me to tell you exactly how many guys have texted me since I broke up with Peter?"
I hold my surprise back.
"I'm guessing plenty."
"Not to brag but yeah,plenty."She laughs as she backs up.
"It feels so good to have options.Anyhow,gotta run.Bye!"
I watch her as she hurries down the hall,same way that we came.
Options,indeed.
**********
Woo-hoo!
Chapter 30..........!!!!!!!
Xo-Hanna