[A/N: ok so unlike last chapter, this one is much heavier, so just take precaution towards reading it <3 though nothing particularly harmful is mentioned, it's just explaining Yoongi's thought process more in depth and how he's extremely mad at himself for several reasons]
✈︎ ☁︎︎ ✈︎ ☁︎︎ ✈︎ ☁︎︎
Staring.
Hoseok's eyes trailed after Chul.
Every.
Single.
Day.
Every sixth period, in the halls, at lunch.
Everywhere.
Though, who was Yoongi to tell him to stop? He knew the boy was trying, he knew it wasn't his fault, and he had already warned him.
At least Hoseok wasn't initiating any type of verbal communication with Chul, so in a way, Yoongi was grateful.
A bit of eye contact never hurt anyone, right?
Wrong.
It hurt Yoongi.
Because in those eyes, in those eyes that he found so, so, captivating and break-taking in absolutely every single way possible, held such a foreign look of admiration that Yoongi had never seen before.
He wouldn't call it love, because of course it wasn't love.
After all, it was just some stupid temporary high school crush, not nearly as strong as an emotion as that.
Not nearly as powerful, or affectionate.
No where near that.
Though, that didn't really matter.
Because it was still some mild form of attraction.
For no reason really, mostly based off of physical appearance and the few false perceptions he had only personally seen of him.
So, Yoongi couldn't necessarily blame him. Since he had fallen for that too.
Not romantically, but he was a gullible and stupid freshman who gave all his trust into the guy that promised a secure and lasting friendship.
Who did nothing but send Yoongi a charming smile that sparked this new found hope inside him, which caused Yoongi to completely let his guard down and offer everything he had to Chul.
But with one snap of a finger, he snatched it away.
Just like that.
Chul took it from him; all the loyalty and built up companionship formed between the two, and used it to his own benefit.
For his own advantage.
So, it made sense why Yoongi had this somewhat formed resentment towards Chul.
Though, I wouldn't really call it resentment, since Yoongi hated holding grudges or disliking people for 'stupid' reasons.
It was something on the brim of hatred; a feeling tempted to creep in to that trespassed area and just dip its toes in to the water.
Into the pool of loathing.
But Yoongi wouldn't let himself be that shallow and form those stupid and unnecessary strong emotions built entirely up with rage.
Letting those emotions run wild with no barrier to stop or control them whatsoever.
He wouldn't let those insecurities gobble him up in such a way that it would negatively have an effect on others.
He wouldn't let himself become like Chul.
☺︎︎☺︎︎☺︎︎
Sixth period.
The clock's ticks only became louder and louder with each one, making Yoongi go temporarily insane as those noises rang through his sensitive earlobes as if a blood-piercing siren, but ten times stronger, was wailing all around him.
Everything in that moment just seemed so..
Aggressive.
So strong and excessive, he didn't know why but it was if everything seemed louder, brighter, and clearer than ever before.
Was he dying?
Did he gain supernatural powers?
No, just his sneaky brain playing little sly mind tricks on him once again, exaggerating everything and anything in his plain eye sight to an extent that made him want to pull his hair out.
Why you may ask?
Well, he doesn't know either.
Perhaps it's the piles of stress that's been slowly adding on more and more as the long days pass by, or those paranoid thoughts that wouldn't stop pulling his conscience in different directions; forming one hypothesis over the other just to contradict it.
Maybe it's because he didn't want to be there, so everything was made out to be hundred times more horrible than it seemed.
AKA, the most reasonable option.
Yoongi shook off those thoughts, though the simple head movement somehow made it seem as if his entire brain just shifted inside of his skull, causing this feeling of nausea to tumble on top of him.
Was he sick?
No, he didn't feel sick.
He didn't feel.. anything.
Nothing at all.
Even the dizziness was fake.
It was all an illusion.
Snap out of it, Yoongi mentally scolded himself, shutting his eyelids as tight as they could possibly go.
To make it all go away.
To make those thoughts go away.
To make his eyes, just for once, tear away from the brunet sitting next to him.
To tear him away from the unbearable pain that he had to endure every sixth period.
And then, he felt his eyes become wet, beginning to brim with early tears.
No, why am I crying?
Get a hold of yourself, he practically screamed at himself, his frustration only threatening for the tears to come quicker.
Raising his hand impulsively, the teacher sent him a quizzical look before calling his name, "Yoongi, question?"
A rush of anxiousness flooded his cheeks, words failing to fall out.
"U-um," he stammered, his frail voice coming more out as trembles, "may I use the restroom?" he gulped.
Sighing, the teacher reluctantly agreed, "Alright, but make it quick please," she hurried, waving her hands towards the wooden classroom door.
"Thank you," he mumbled quickly, not sparing Hoseok a glance before rushing out of the classroom.
Chul's malicious eyes bore into the back of Yoongi's sweatshirt, practically sending invisible daggers into them with blazing hot rods melting into his back.
Hoseok, who was filled up with nothing but concern for his friend who had randomly abandoned his seat, glanced at Chul.
And finally, he understood what Yoongi has been telling him.
He saw it.
That evil look in his eyes, holding this unreadable expression of pure vile and wickedness.
And it scared him.
Maybe Hoseok's overreacting from a simple look, or glare.
Call him crazy, if you will.
But Hoseok was never wrong at reading people's expressions as if it was the back of his hand.
And at that moment, he read Chul like a book.
☺︎︎☺︎︎☺︎︎
"F-fuck," Yoongi sobbed, uncontrollable tears streaming down his face, each one feeling like a single drop of lava as they burned into his pink and tear-stained cheeks.
Why was he breaking down?
Pathetic, he thought to himself, slamming his fist on the edge of the white sink below him, just reaching the waistband of his grey sweatpants.
Yoongi had never cried at school before, unless back in elementary counts.
But what made him even more angry with himself is that, he didn't even know the reason why these sudden blobs of tears came pouring out of his dark brown eyes.
Why? Yoongi asked himself, placing both hands on the mirror before aggressively tugging at strands of hair.
Hair that Hoseok had dyed for him.
Yoongi smiled at the memory, though that one second of bliss soon vanished, being instantly replaced by a scowl.
He hated being jealous.
Absolutely. hated. it.
With every inch and bone in his body.
And he despised himself even more for it.
Even more than he already had.
How was that possible?
To hate yourself to such an extent that you didn't even think was obtainable.
A light chuckle escaped his lips, though it was solely carried with a sour and bitter taste afterwards, nothing like a usual lighthearted laugh.
Nothing of the sort.
Maybe it was a coping mechanism, to laugh at your self-failures. Yoongi wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, as it didn't cross his mind one bit at being abnormal for him.
Turning away from the mirror, Yoongi grabbed a handful of paper towels from a nearby dispenser before dabbing harshly at his soaked eyes, his curly thick eyelashes glistening with tears.
Which brought back the memory of Hoseok complimenting how pretty his eyelashes were, how full and luscious they appeared on camera.
The project.
"I mean- you are quite pretty."
Did everything lead back to Hoseok?
Every single thought that even so vaguely passed through his mind, was just a mirrored reflection based off the dancer that he admired so much?
Sniffling his stuffy nose, Yoongi walked over towards the sink and splashed cool water onto his bright red face, the salty taste of left over tears grazing his lips.
Noting the time of the clock on the wall, Yoongi reasoned it that he stayed well over his trip to the bathroom, as his feet glided him across the halls and towards the classroom the he had left several minutes ago.
All because of his supposed and unfamiliar emotions that he couldn't control.
As if they had a mind of its own, using Yoongi as their robot and controlling his actions from the inside of his brain like you would see in a cartoon during your childhood.
Except, it wasn't an innocent and happy Phineas and Ferb episode.
It was real life.
And real life sucked.
🍓welp😙✌️
🍼thank you for reading!! ༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ
🍓editor/assistant: jiminie_cricket_