"We can't stay in here all day," I said, humming when he ignored me and kissed me again, hands moving over the curve of my ass before he squeezed it. "Harry."
"We have plenty of time."
I tilted my head to the side and let him kiss along my neck. He had snuck us into a closet at the hotel despite knowing we weren't allowed to be in here. Our parents were getting married in less than an hour, but I didn't blame him for wanting to get another moment in. I didn't want to let go either, but if we didn't leave soon, we were gonna be late. We had already messed around in the shower, a few too many neck kisses having forced me down on my knees. We had stolen moment after moment, having exchanged quick kisses between our parents' hotel rooms if no one was there to see it. We were enjoying it while it lasted because we knew we couldn't continue after today.
"We have to go, Harry. I'm the maid of honour."
"Just..." He trailed off, moving a hand to the back of my neck to keep me in place when he kissed me again.
I melted into it and pressed myself closer to him while he squeezed my ass with the hand he didn't have on my neck, pulling away when he got a text. "Check it."
"Fine." I leaned against the door while he found his phone and read the text. "Gemma is asking where we are."
"Tell her we'll meet her in the lobby."
He did as I told him to and put his phone away before he looked at me again, reaching up to stroke my cheek.
"I don't wanna let go," he whispered, making me close my eyes as he rested his forehead against mine.
I was suspecting Harry's feelings might've been similar to mine, but I didn't want to be naive. If Harry was to fall for someone, it wouldn't happen this fast, nor would he let it happen in the first place. But I hadn't thought I would either and yet somehow, I was falling too fast to keep up.
I bumped my nose with his, wrapping one of his curls around my finger before I kissed him. He kissed me back harder, knowing as well as me it was gonna be the last. We continued for longer than we should, but Gemma was waiting for us, so I pushed him away carefully and reached up to stroke his cheek.
"We have to go."
"I know," he sighed, leaning in to kiss my forehead before he allowed me to open the door. "You look good, you know?"
"Thank you," I smiled. "So do you."
"I know."
I snorted in response but chuckled afterwards. The suit he was wearing wasn't what I had imagined. While I was wearing plain black with a white button-up underneath and a black tie, he was wearing pink with a black button-up and no tie. I don't think he was trying to steal the attention, but he was definitely going to. But when I saw Gemma's dress, it wasn't such a shock that Harry had chosen pink. She was wearing the same shade of pink and so was Sophie, my black suit suddenly making me feel underdressed.
"About time," she said.
I apologised while Harry was more focused on stealing Sophie from her.
"You look so precious, baby."
He kissed her cheek over and over again, making her giggle before Gemma urged us outside and into her car. Harry got Sophie into her car seat and stayed in the back with her while I got into the passenger seat.
"Wasn't it enough to mess around in the shower?" Gemma asked.
"Clearly not," Harry said.
I looked out of the window when my cheeks turned red, feeling a hint of pain while I did so. I was split between being happy for my mom and sad about their upcoming marriage. My mom deserved the world, but I was afraid I couldn't stay away from Harry. I suppose it was only typical that I wanted someone I couldn't have.
***
We weren't late for the wedding, but half the guests were already seated when we arrived at the church. Desmond's suit was similar to mine, and my mom was beyond beautiful. I was standing with her while Harry and Gemma were standing with Desmond. It would've seemed more natural if Gemma and I had switched places, and we had considered it, but we ended up not doing it as it felt more right this way.
I zoned out when the priest started talking and instead of listening, I looked at the guests instead. Sophie was sitting with Harry and Gemma's grandparents, and Liam smiled at me when I found him next to Zayn. I smiled back and looked at my mom and Desmond, eyes quickly finding Harry's instead as he was already looking at me.
"I do," Desmond said, forcing my attention back to him and my mom while the priest kept talking.
"I do," my mom said, breaking into a smile while I looked at Harry again, catching him blink his tears away.
I teared up myself, but unlike Harry, I didn't try to blink them away because lying was easy. It wasn't necessary to come with an excuse when my mom was getting married. But I wasn't crying because of her newfound happiness. I was crying because of Harry. It wasn't happy tears, but rather the kind that was filled with some form of devastation. I wanted him, but he was officially my stepbrother now, and it was so, so taboo.
"You may kiss the bride."
Desmond smiled and took my mom's face in his hands before he kissed her. I looked at Harry again, craving his lips against mine, and it seemed like the urge was growing now that I wasn't allowed to. It would've been essential for us to slow down before stopping. I didn't regret anything we had done, but if we had eased ourselves into it, it wouldn't have felt so overwhelming to stop.
***
During desert, Harry took Sophie again and let her sit on his lap. Everyone had moved around to talk to people who weren't at their assigned tables. Harry and I had done the same and had stolen a couple of seats at Liam and Zayn's table. Harry was more focused on Sophie than anything else, and I adored the sight of them, but our attention was forced back to Zayn when he spoke up.
"I came out to my parents."
"You did?" I asked.
"Yes."
I hadn't expected him to do it so soon, but I had noticed he was more affectionate with Liam than usual. I hadn't thought much about it as it had made me more jealous than anything else. I had forced myself not to think about their upcoming happiness, but it was unavoidable now, and I couldn't deny I was proud of him for coming out when he was so afraid.
"How did it go?" Harry asked.
"As I expected," he said. "They kicked me out."
"I'm sorry," we said at the same time.
Liam reached out to take his hand under the table, the movement noticeable, but I doubt he was trying to hide anything.
"Don't be."
"It feels good, doesn't it?" I asked. "To be out?"
"I feel like I can finally breathe."
"Where are you staying?"
"At Liam's."
"I told you he'd be up for it."
Liam chuckled in response while Zayn looked at him the way Liam wanted to be looked at.
"What about you two?" Liam asked.
"What about us?" I asked.
"Are you done kissing all the time?"
I looked at Harry, but he avoided eye contact and turned Sophie around so she was facing him instead. She reached out to play with one of the buttons on his shirt, and I was left with a question I didn't know how to answer.
"Yeah."
It was the right answer, but it didn't feel right. Harry sighed in response as he was still listening in, but he didn't say anything, and I didn't blame him for being disappointed. He knew what our agreement consisted of, but we were both tempted to reconsider the rules. I kept going over it in my head and tried to come up with an excuse for why we should continue, but no matter how you twisted and turned it, it was wrong. It didn't make it any less exciting though. If anything, it only made me want it more, and that was a problem.
"Only a little bit," Harry said, making me look at him again as he had turned Sophie back around.
He picked up a come of the cake with his fingers and fed it to her, wiping off his fingers in a napkin afterwards. Sophie reached out to get more, but Harry didn't let her, making her whine as he pushed the plate out of reach. He took the cut out grapes instead and let her take them from the bowl herself.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked, taking advantage of the way Liam and Zayn had disappeared in each other.
Harry put the bowl of grapes down on the table before he looked at me, letting Sophie lean against him while she wrapped her hands around his fingers. "No."
"Harry."
"I'm not, Louis, I just... never mind."
I opened my mouth to say something, but he had already turned his attention back to Sophie. He helped get her shoes off as she kept trying to do it herself and another fifteen minutes passed before she fell asleep against him. He kept ignoring me, and Liam spoke up about it when he went upstairs to put Sophie down in one of the hotel rooms.
"Is he ignoring you?"
"Yeah," I sighed.
"Why?"
"I don't think he agrees with our agreement."
"Do you?"
"No, but it has to be that way... right?"
"I know you think it's wrong, Lou, but I don't see it."
"Not even now?"
"No."
"It's not like you grew up together," Zayn said.
It was what Liam had said too, and I understood where they were coming from, but it was about more than that. Not being related was a valid excuse and so was the fact that we didn't feel like we were brothers. But there was something at risk too. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I messed up my mom's marriage.
"Why don't you go talk to him?" Liam asked.
I sighed in response but got up either way. I made my way out of the venue and took the stairs to the right floor, sitting down on the floor outside their rooms while I waited for him to come out. It confused me how they had decided to sleep in each their room, but right across from each other. I'd probably have chosen another floor just to make sure I didn't "accidentally" make it across the hall.
The entire day I had been thinking about weddings. How my own wedding was gonna be and the man across from me was always Harry. The face used to be blank, but Harry had somehow made his way into the picture, and it wasn't only impossible and inconvenient, it was also stupid.
"Louis?"
I looked up at him as he closed the door behind him, not having heard him come out. "I think we need to talk about this."
"What's there to talk about?"
I stand up to walk closer to him. "You're ignoring me."
He looked down and fiddled with the baby monitor, seeming unsure of his next words. "I think..."
"What?"
"Nothing. Forget it."
"Fine," I sighed, looking at him for another moment before I turned around to leave.
"Louis."
"What?"
"You don't get to be mad at me for still wanting you."
I turned around to face him, making him take a step backwards when I took one forward. "You serious?"
"I'm sorry, I just... if you come any closer I'm gonna kiss you."
He left me with a decision I couldn't possibly make. If I let him kiss me, I allowed us to fall back into each other, and I couldn't do that. But if I walked away, I ruined the chance of getting what I wanted.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this.