(Lea's P.O.V)
"So, I'm the only one who didn't know you're leaving?"
I gulped. Panic and anxiousness slightly taking over me. My mind went blank for a second as I searched his face for any kind of emotions. I didn't get any. My lips involuntarily parted and I bit my lower lip.
How am I supposed to answer? No, what am I supposed to answer? To a person I don't know now. A person I don't know what relationship I share with.
What are we?Friends? Enemies? Frenemies? Siblings? Haters? Or something I'm even afraid to say. Something that forces me to question every single thing thahas happened up until now.
Are we........lovers?
I searched his face again and took a breath.
"Well, now you won't have a hater at school. One less worry." I joked playfully but it was hard to deny the awkwardness that came with it. I cracked a nervous grin.
He looked at me with a blank expression.
"Yeah, I mean I'll come to this boring school everyday, knowing that the person that I came for, the one that I actually wanted, was now gone."
His voice was dripping with sarcasm as he gave me a forced and sarcastic smile.
Really? Did he think like that!?
"Well, no denying that school won't be as much without me. I mean, no one to talk back to you? Prank you? That'll suck."
I stated loftily until it turned into playful pity. He rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, that's true." He softly spoke up. What was the last time I heard him talk so soft, again? Correction:So soft to ME?
And he AGREED?! Wow, maybe the universe is coming to an end. Because the next second I know, I'm sliding down the lockers to sit down with my knees close to my chest. But that wasn't something that surprised me. My next gesture did.
I tapped the spot beside me and on my left for him to sit down too while gazing out the big window and outside into the lawns and grounds which were starting to gain colors of the sunset. I didn't look at him but I knew that he almost instantly accepted since I felt a presence beside me soon after my gesture.
'Well, someone's being a good boy today....?'
I had to agree with Nikita.
I kept gazing out the window and just....feeling. It's actually funny but also the truth. Sam did the same and gazed out. A peaceful and comfortable silence took over us as time ticked away.
Suddenly, a smile of both joy and sadness spread on my lips. I saw the basketball ground in use. There was a middle school (probably) not and a girl. Playing and dribbling. That reminded me a lot of.....
"Do you remember how we met, Sam?"
I asked him silently and finally tore my gaze from the sight and looked at him. Soon a smile that was a replica of mine, took over his features.
He fixated his blue eyes on my chocolate brown ones and spoke quietly but softly.
"Don't you?" And I knew it. I smiled a bit and he continued.
"Clear as crystals."
That sent my heart pounding and scenes flashing as my memory showed me a movie of how we'd met.
~Flashback~
I spun around and giggled as the soft grass touched my bare feet. Then putting on my shoes back, I ran to the next swing. Sitting on it, I laughed as I went up and down. My mom smiled and resumed talking to one of the other women there.
My 7 year old self was sure having fun. I then scanned the area to see other children laughing and playing. Together or with their parents. It made me very happy. The sun beat down on me but I kept looking around until a very intimidating sight met my eyes.
In the basketball court, a boy with blonde-Brown hair was playing. But that wasn't it. A girl was also playing there. She tried to snatch the ball from him but didn't succeed. He grinned at her and scored a basket but then started talking to her. I couldn't hear of course, but the tears glistening in the girl's eyes were enough. I knew he had to have said something hurtful and I couldn't bear to watch the girl about to cry. Especially because of a guy. At sports.
I got off the swing and rushed towards them. Soon, I reached and panted and puffed in an attempt to catch my breath. I looked back up and saw them both staring at me. I looked at the guy and found myself admiring his beautiful ocean blue eyes. Lemme tell you something bout me; striking eye colors attract me. And he was also kind of cute.
Even at 7!
"Um.....Did something happen?" I asked hesitantly, suddenly not feeling as confident. But when the boy gave me a small smirk of malice and the girl looked at me with tears, I thought otherwise.
Then he walked over to me and 'tsked'. My eyebrows knit together in confusion before anger took its place.
"Girls can't play basketball. Especially her. And then to beat ME?" He sarcastically laughed and mocked.( practically the whole female race.)
I felt myself take that as a challenge. And since basketball was one of my favourite sports, heck, it was my favourite sport (still is); I could play well and had an idea that I could beat him. My dad used to lay with me. I was young of course but I managed just fine.
Now that I look back at it; it shows how much the guy had 'player' and 'egoistic' written all over him. Even at that age. He still has. A bunch mountain of hopeless man ego and stupid smirks.
"Is that a challenge?" I rose a brow with determination filling my thoughts.
He smirked and shrugged. I clenched my jaw and told the girl to watch how I dealt with him. He gave me an amused expression but passed me the ball.
"Now I know you're trying to beat ME but.......don't embarrass yourself."
"Ha! Worry about yourself!"
"But I wouldn't want you crying if you lost. That one already did that s--" He started taunting me and I cut him off.
"Well, I'm not her. Let's see what you got."
I didn't wait for him to say something. Instead, I dribbled with the ball in my hands and my tiny feet brushing past him. I was small and so was he but that didn't stop us from playing a good game. Sure we hardly knew the game but still....
I attempted to shoot through the net but failed. The ball went straight into his hands. He grinned, broke through my already bad defense and scored a basket. I glared at him and took the ball.
He was taller than me. Unfair.
Again-I dribbled past him but having seen how my last attempt fail, I did a trick. I faked going left but went towards the right and with much force got the ball to go silent through the net. A smile took up my lips. The boy stared at me and the bouncing ball with shock for a second but regained his composure. Flashing me a grin, he continued with the game.
This kept up until both of us were tired and flushed. We reeked of sweat and felt sore. The sun had started to set sending pinks and oranges and yellows to paint the canvas of sky.
And the score...well....since we were small we counted each basket as one point and got stuck at 4. None of us let the other score more than that and neither was gonna give up. I was also very stubborn, if you didn't catch up. I wasn't gonna lose to him so the only thing that was possible for me to do was win or at least make it a draw.
So.....we had also started having fun at the game.
I learnt a lot from him about the game too. But over all it was pretty fun. But I wasn't gonna let him know, of course. He seemed quite rude at first too so....
My mom called me and I looked at the guy. Panting, I shook my head at him and dusted my shorts. He stopped too. I looked him in the eye and licking my dry lips, smiled at him a bit.
"I had fun. Don't think you'll get away the next time." I rushed off and walking behind my mom. I wondered what the guy thought of me and that made me blush slightly. Then a voice interrupted my train of thoughts.
"Sam. That's my name." The guy walked besides me as I give him a surprised look. My mom looked back at us and smiled warmly.
"Hello, Sam."
He smiled at my mom sweetly and then when she turned he flashed me another cute goofy grin of his. I looked at him confused.
He chuckled a bit. "What's your name?"
I blushed from embarrassment and nervously stammered. For once. "Lea."
"You play really good, Lea. We should play again sometime."
"Thanks. Sure." I gave him a smile and gazed into those blue eyes.
He smiled widely. "Great. Um.....friends?" He offered me his hand a bit anxiously as we reached the exit of the park.
I smiled at him and took up the offer. He seemed to be nice. And friendly. And blue eyed. Yeah, sorry I'm off topic here.
I took his hand in mine and he shook it firmly. Who knew that would spell us becoming each other's best friends for the coming years? And who knew that from that day forth we would become irreplaceable parts of our lives while visiting each other a lot?
"Friends."
~End of Flashback~
"Ah, I'll have to both curse and thank the game of basketball."
I chuckled at Sam's joke. "Probably."
Again the memories were playing in my head. You must be thinking 'why are they making such a big deal out of some small transfer. Like the world is gonna end I something too cliche!?'
But no.
You're both right and wrong. For us, who have been great friends for years and I've settled in this school; leaving my friends and everything behind seems to make my heart drop even its for a short period of time. I sighed as we continued to stare out the window, sitting side by side against the lockers. If someone would've told me that this would be happening right now? I would've probably laughed in their faces. Because there was no way in hell that it could happen. But this was right now, the truth. Totally believable.
Changes........there are some I like but some I hate.
Sam's voice broke the silence. But I'd probably stay silent than to hear his carefully chosen words.
"Just...." He pierced my eyes with his own. "Lea...?.....Why-why weren't you there??" He spoke barely above a whisper and it was full of disappointment.
It's funny how much he has changed currently. He has pretty much dropped that bad boy aura and let's his real self show more. Just like when we were little.
I felt my breath hitch as it caught in my throat. His eyes remained fixed on mine and something flickered in them. But it was gone before I could put a name to the emotion.
I bit my bottom lip and started to open my mouth when he harshly interrupted.
"You weren't there when I needed you the most! And don't give me that sorry-answer-of-an-excuse! That you had you're reasons...just say the truth already...." His raised voice went back to being quiet. My eyes fell.
The worst part was....that unlike any cliches where the best friends start hating each other after an incident....wait for it....
Which is the guy's fault, but here? Here it was the opposite. Because I was very well aware that it was my fault. Everything was MY fault.
I could actually feel my body go cold and my throat dry up at the painful memories. My eyes started to water up.......no. I don't break. But do you or anyone know what happened that day, besides myself? No.
And no one could understand the pain I felt when it happened. Before he shut me out.
~Flashback~
Saturday afternoon, July 27th, 2016.
I was 13 now. I got in the seat of the car that pulled up in front of me. The infamous black Audi. Tired face. You must be wondering why I'm a spy at such a young age and stuff......well there are things only we can execute. Not all but establish the base. I know, I know, it should be illegal! But it hadn't been long for me since I joined. And it gave me a sense of purpose. My recruitment was random but that's a story for another time. An unnamed exhilarating feeling.
"Holiday not so good?" Missy, my temporary handler and partner-aged 21- chuckled and I groaned.
"Of course! You guys called me on the weekend!" I stated frustrated already. She chortled. I scoffed but said no more regarding this and changed the topic.
"So, what is it now?" I asked her and she looked at me through the rear view mirror. I don't know why, but I was getting a bad feeling that something was gonna happen today. A gut feeling.
~
I couldn't have said truer words.
It was a mission gone slightly wrong. And add in being caught between a gang rivalry's shoot out and you have a perfect disaster. I won't tell you how or why this happened but as Missy and I hid behind the shacks and the cars, the loud sounds the guns made didn't stop at all. In an alleyway where a car could come by anytime, and civilians could be hurt, it was a very dangerous place to be in. Missy had already called backup but it would take time to be discreet about. The police would arrive soon as well
Just when things started looking up, a car zoomed past, barricading our view while literally crossing from between the two gangs shooting from either side on the alley.
he car was familiar and caught between the melee. I aw a familiar woman's blood splatter and the car go crashing straight towards a shop in deserted alley.
I held my breath wide eyed and shared a look with Missy. My gun was clutched tightly in my hand but Missy was the one occasionally shooting so far, while still trying to keep our cover.I willed myself to not walk towards the car and check up on the woman my heart and mind were screaming at me was in there."She's dead...." I heard the doctor say while checking her pulse regretfully and sorrowfully.A shrill cry pierced the evening downtown noise above the gun shots and I muffled my own sharp cry of surprise.
In front of me the haunting truth revealed itself, enjoying my wrecked state as my eyes left her bloodied figure in the car. I watched it happening before me as I hid like a coward. Her eyes collided once with my horror stricken one before they lost all light. It would haunt e for days to come.
"Shit!" Missy cursed at the distraught state of things.
But my mind tried coping with one thing above all.
My heart dropped. She was dead. My best friend's mother was dead. Sam's mother was.........And that too.......I had been a witness of it all. My breaths came out in short gasps and I was glued to my seat.
Angela Drew Lockhart, was...........dead.
~
I couldn't move, the shooting continued as Missy and I still hid behind the shacks. My heart was pounding but I knew I couldn't get out of here anytime soon.
I'd received a call from my mom in the meantime, telling me what happened. She didn't know I already knew. No one did. And he wanted me there. Anyone would want their best friend to be right besides them when they lost someone so dear to their heart. And so had I. She was a second mother to me and I truly loved her.
This fucking job! Its taking everything away from me! That was when I decided to call it quits but they had told me to take a break not leave. And I couldn't do anything due to the stupid contract. I felt furious and broken at the same time.
"Remember Lea. Your country is your first mother."
~
Sunday morning, 28th July, 2016.
I felt broken but made my way to Sam as fast as I could. The funeral taking place but he was at a corner with tears brimming his eyes. But he refused to give in.
As soon as I reached him and his eyes met mine, they filled with two emotions I never had to receive from him before.
Anger and Hatred. Full of them. His jaw clenched and his knuckles turned white.
"WHERE, WHERE HELL WERE YOU YESTERDAY?! HUH? WHEN I NEEDED YOU, LEA!?!?"
He yelled and glared at me with hate and anger. I flinched at his tone but opened my mouth. His sudden outburst catching me off guard as I gave him an apologetic look and regretfully looked away.
"Sam I-"
"JUST ANSWER THE DAMNED QUESTION!"
He growled infuriated and I winced but continued.
"I......had my reaso-" I was cut off by his extreme and dangerously calm voice. He was trembling in rage by now. He was dealing with a lot of off kilter emotions.
"Get out of my sight."
He spat with so much venom that it made me cringe and my heart clench. Emphasising each word.
"But-"
"I said. Get.Out.Of.My.Sight."
I gasped at his harshness. I felt tears threatening to fall and I held myself from breaking down. I sucked in a deep shaky breath and took a step back, not believing what was happening.
I looked at the ground with its dew and grass. A tear fell down yet again and I hated it. I hated being helpless. Vulnerable. I hated being a cry baby. People there gave me sorry and pitiful looks as I ran without thinking. I just ran.
For the next few months, I tried to apologize but it seemed to faze him in the least. I was getting tired of him constantly ignoring me. This wasn't supposed to happen......
He hated me. And he made it clear. Now if he thinks that I can keep this stupid act up, then he's wrong as hell.
I'm done.
I'm sick and I'm tired of doing this. Of apologizing and begging and then being brushed off. Until one day when my limits gave way and I accepted the fact.
I hated being........hated. And that brought the officially unofficial end of our bond.
So, I wasn't going to be any sweet girl anymore. He hates me?
Well, I hate him more.
~End Of Flashback ~
I didn't even know that I was crying until something wet hit my hand. A stray tear rolled down my cheeks and into my palm. The vision blurry.
"I'm sorry......" I croaked out and my voice cracked at the end. A low sob escaped my lips. So many emotions that I'd been bottling up inside of me.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so-"
A comforting arm wrapped itself around my shoulders and made me stop my rambling. Sam held me tightly and close to his chest. A bit. My skin tingled where it met his. I hicupped.
I tried to stop my sobs and soft cries as he rubbed my arm gently in an effort to calm me down. Well, good luck with that.
"Its fine.......Lea....really. Shhh." He cooed comfortingly and softly in my ear and it made me feel a bit better.
But not really. It wasn't alright.
We weren't alright.
I blushed a bit, embarrassed at the fact that he was holding me, I was feeling good about it, I had cried in front of him and I don't know...a bunch of other reasons. I looked up to see him staring down at me with a small smile. I sniffed and wiped a stray tear from my face with the back of my hand. I am sure I look like hell.
Oh, well.
We both sat there just like that. My head resting on his shoulder and his arm safely wrapped around my shoulders. We probably looked like a cliche couple but that was the most surprising thing......because it wasn't. It was an entirely different thing.
I guess it's finally time for me to say goodbye.....
"So.....I guess this is it..."
"But I'm not ready......." Sam mumbled back. His words made my heart skip a beat. Today had been an exceptionally emotional day. Too much. His eyes boring into mine made me ignore the sudden vibration of the bracelet I wore. I was being called.
Why?
I softly gulped and managed to say the last words. Hoping they wouldn't be true and something would just magically happen that could prevent me from leaving. But I knew better than to hope this time.
Just like last time, this was an officially unofficial goodbye. One where I didn't even know what relationship we actually shared. And this was perhaps better but also bad at the same time. Let's see how the gods decide to make my life go.
"Goodbye, Sam."