Adeniyi, it turned out, would have to wait.
Shadow Sickness had only struck once before, and Leyrl wasn't prepared for the fallout then. She certainly wasn't prepared for the fallout now.
Unlike ordinary illnesses, Shadow Sickness fed on fear. It began with a fever, then a chill would spread from the bottoms of the feet through the rest of the body until the heart itself slowed and eventually went cold.
If it progressed enough, its carrier became a Fallen One. The only solution then was to kill the afflicted and hope the soul could still find peace.
Since it was a sickness of the heart, the only way to fight it was in the spiritual realm. Leyrl was the only known Seer with the Gift of Discernment, so it fell on her to help the ill.
They had already lost one cadet. A young little thing from House Hen. He'd seen nine winters... almost ten. Leyrl tried not to dwell on it.
While Lady Diana dashed about, rewriting memories of Chilo even having existed out of the children's minds, Leyrl had entered to do battle with the demons that held them captive.
It was on her eleventh patient that Leyrl began to wonder if she was going to hold up. As she placed her hand over a young Aikerlish girl's heart, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and felt herself plunge deep into the darkness.
When she opened her eyes, the scene around her was a desert. Although there was no night or day in this land, it felt like midnight. Shadows lay thick blanket over the sky above her, and she could feel clouds of it swirling around her, tugging on her sleeve, and brushing its fingers across her cheek.
"Get away from me," she growled. "Show me the heart! I am the Daughter of Elindir, and I demand to see the door!"
Her voice seemed to die in the empty, open air of the desert. She took a step forward.
Odd. Usually Aikerlish soulscapes were forests. She must've grown up on the border. Thrab, which lay to the south, was almost entirely covered in desert. The one Leyrl now found herself in stretched in all directions, and the sand shifted beneath her feet as she walked forward.
Leyrl summoned a sword into her hand, and she watched as a fiery blade appeared out of thin air. It took longer this time. The first she'd summoned took only three seconds. This one took a full minute. She felt her legs wobble, and her mind spun.
I don't know how many more times I can do this.
Her physical body, she knew, sat on the edge of a cot in Lady Diana's infirmary. Hisashi had been the one to sit beside her this time. Both he and Marc had agreed it would be too dangerous to leave her alone and vulnerable while she roamed the spirit realm. Especially with Lady Diana so close.
She waved the sword ahead of her, and she sighed with relief as the shadows parted.
"Welcome, holy servant of the Light," a voice snickered from the darkness. "Come to claim what's yours?"
A few eagle-lengths ahead of her a door appeared in the half-light.
"This one's quite boring anyway. You can have her," the voice added.
His laughter rang in Leyrl's ears, and it grated on her already frayed nerves. Why can't I remember your name?
"Why don't you just ask?"
Leyrl didn't bother responding. She wasn't here to let demons distract her. She sliced through the thick curtain of shadows that lay between her and the door to her patient's heart. Figures, suggestions of tall, looming men with long fangs and forked tongues, lunged at her left and right.
Quite the imagination you have, little one, Leyrl thought to herself.
The shadows looked different for everyone, she'd learned over the years. The stronger the fear, the more terrifying the forms the shadows took.
She gritted her teeth as she took one slow step after the next, slicing through the dark specters that threw themselves at her.
"Georgie," Leyrl called into the darkness. "Georgie, it's safe now. I'm here."
She could make out the distant sound of a child crying.
Finally, she found her way to the door. It was charred and hung slightly ajar. No sign of Elindir's guardians. Although it was freestanding from the outside, as soon as she stepped inside, a house unfolded around her.
Her heart.
Did she ever believe? the Seer wondered as she stepped carefully over the threshold and into the cold heart of the young girl.
Don't let the fire be out. Leyrl thought, feeling panic growing in her chest.
Another demon threw itself at her from the shadows of a room that opened to her left. The wingwoman snatched her sword from its sheath and slammed the hilt into the jaw of the demon. It flew backwards and collided with one of the walls of the house, but Leyrl didn't bother to wait and see if it lay still.
Inside, she quickly made her way to the hearth fire at the center of the heart. It was beautiful, even in its simplicity. It was a circle, beautiful green and blue flagstone stacked in overlapping layers. Smoke still rose up from the pit.
I'm not too late.
Leyrl released a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.
If there's smoke, there's a fire.
"Georgie?"
The captain moved in closer to the hearth. There, with her knees tucked into her chest, was the same little girl she'd seen laying on the cot. Leyrl stepped to her side and put an arm on her shoulder. "It's alright, now, Georgia. You're safe now."
Even as she said the words, she could hear them coming.
More demons.
More shadows.
"I tried, Lady Lili," Georgie said in a trembling voice. "I tried to keep them from putting out my fire.... but there were too many."
Leyrl swept the little girl into her arms. "I know, dear one. But look, your fire isn't out yet," the wingwoman said as she pointed to the smoke curling up from the hearth. "Where there's smoke, there's a fire."
Georgie leaned her head on Leyrl's shoulder.
"Do you have anything else you could burn?"
The little girl nodded. "I think so." She pointed toward the far corner of the room. "Over there."
A table had been turned over and left sitting upside down. Leyrl tried not to rush as she moved toward it. Georgie still sat on her hip.
The shadows began to move in.
"Get away from the hearth!" Leyrl called as she grabbed the table and jerked it back toward the smoking heart-fire of the little girl.
She tossed the table into the hearth and willed it to burn.
Embers collided with the leg of the table, and, Elindir be praised, it caught fire.
The shadows shrieked and ran backward, away from the flame as it caught.
Strange that the thing that could so easily destroy us is also what keeps us alive.
The wingwoman didn't dawdle as she sat the spirit of Georgie's heart back down. "Think you can finish building it back up on your own, dear one?"
Georgie's head nodded. "I think so."
Leyrl only nodded, and without another word, began to pull herself back to reality. Everything around her blurred, and she felt herself return to a different chaos in the Infirmary.
Leyrl reached up her arm to wipe away the perspiration that was dripping from her forehead, down the bridge of her nose, and into her eye. She blinked away the salt sting of sweat as she squeezed a young cadet's hand. His eyes were vacant
She wished for Adeniyi's steady hand on her shoulder. She wished for a bit of her mentor's strength, but she far out of her reach.
How many more can I handle?
Twenty-two.
Twenty-two more.
But it was over.
The Hold was quiet again.
Leyrl almost couldn't keep her eyes open as she pulled her cloak over her shoulders. She'd lost count of the number of souls she'd walked. The hearts she'd entered, the fires she'd breathed life back into. Her whole body ached, and as she strapped on her sword, she had to steady herself against the wall. Her throat felt like sandpaper, hoarse from crying out the names of the lost cadets.
Adeniyi's execution was at dawn. She felt her whole body tighten with grief and then it was too hard to hold onto. Exhaustion crowded out her thoughts. She gripped the hilt of her sword tightly, and the pain of her nails digging into her hand forced sleepiness away from her eyes.
"Good thing I didn't wait for you to come and rescue me. A strong wind might have blown you over on the way."
Leyrl whipped around to meet the warm eyes of her mentor. She finished sliding the rest of the way into the captain's room and pushed herself to her feet from her resting place on the windowsill.
"Adeniyi," she breathed.
Her mentor was almost completely covered in ebony-colored, lightweight dragon-scale armor: thousands of scales cascaded over one another, gradually growing in side from the top to the bottom: shoulder pads, breastplate, legs, and boots. The shoulder pads were simple, but elegant. Beneath it, she wore a thick, burgundy gambeson. Leyrl doubted she felt the cold. Her gray cloak wrapping around her shoulders made the young woman sure of it.
Leyrl didn't have words. Tears she'd be unable to cry fell in abundance as she ran to embrace the warrior. It was only then that Leyrl noticed her long, beautiful dread locks were missing.
"Yi-yi," Leyrl whispered, "What happened to your hair?"
Adeniyi bowed her head. "It will grow back. My grandmother always told me that they may act like they own you, try to prove it to you by doing what they want to your body, but until they have your soul, they own nothing."
Leyrl found herself nodding but not understanding, and she felt Adeniyi pulling her into a tighter embrace. "I am so sorry," she cried into the warrior's shoulder.
"Oh my dear child," Adeniyi whispered. "There is so much I still have left to teach you. I hope you are ready to fight your own battles now."
Leyrl sniffled. "You have to go." It wasn't really a question. "How long do you have before they know you're missing?"
"The guards change once every hour. I left fifteen minutes ago. Ruk's the fastest flier in the Hold, but I'm not taking any chances. I can see it in your eyes you have a million questions, so you have my undivided attention for twenty minutes. Then I have to go."
"Where will you go?"
"Home. To Shekosh. They are already waiting for me. Rajii sent a messenger ahead of me."
"A messenger?"
"A raven...."
Leyrl couldn't bring herself to ask so she pivoted to a different question. "How'd you get out?"
"Our friend the priest passed me the keys and a pair of brass knuckles during my last rites. Hands down the best sermon I ever heard. I took care of the guards on my way out. It was quite simple, really."
Leyrl tried to hide her shock. "You killed members of the Order?"
Adeniyi rolled her eyes. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to. But no, they're still alive. Probably have concussions, but--"
"They were just doing their jobs."
Adeniyi frowned. "Mmm. As was Lady Diana when she condemned me to death by hanging. I suppose you know the truth now?"
Leyrl again nodded. "She was going to kill me."
"Mmm."
"Adeniyi... are you a member of the Order of the Red Raven?"
This brought a smile to her face. "Not just a member, child. I am its leader."
Leyrl was taken aback. "But... they murder people, don't they? That's what the records Hisashi found said."
Adeniyi shrugged. "People die in wars every day, Leyrl. Not just yours are justified."
Adeniyi turned, and for the first time, Leyrl saw a tattoo of a raven, not unlike the one she'd seen in the library, spreading its wings across the nape of her neck. Leyrl wondered how she'd never seen it.
"Our Order was founded long before your ancestor King Éoran was even born," she began, sitting down on the edge of Leyrl's bed. "We began smuggling slaves across the Red Sea from Altan to Menaka and Thrab long before the wilds of Aikerness had been tamed.
"After the War Between the Gods, your people became convinced the Southern kingdoms were more susceptible to Pervez's deceptions and games. Hundreds of us were kidnapped and stolen from our homes to build this place. The Hold. The Order of Águila. It was an attempt to re-educate the next generation of Southerners. They wiped their memories of their homelands and raised them in the culture of the North. So then, we switched tactics. As our numbers grew, we guarded the villages closest to the borders. We performed raids on the Hold and rescued children from the Burrows.
"Unfortunately, the Order of Águila grew faster and more aggressive. Our members started disappearing. Then, they'd turn up on the frontlines. Fighting against us. Their knowledge of our own strongholds and camps made them into a weapon.
"We were almost snuffed out we found an unexpected ally in King Éoran." At this, Adeniyi paused to smile. "And he discovered how to undo the Rewriting. Gradually, we infiltrated members of our Order into the Hold. We had to get more inventive. So then, children started dying. Sometimes in large groups. Sometimes only one or two. Then, they'd be buried. The Hold would mourn and move on, but we knew they were only sleeping."
Leyrl's eyebrows knitted together. "Sleeping?"
"Chilo Zelaya is alive, Leyrl. You were right. I was the one who slipped the powder into her food, but I was also the one who dug up her casket and was with her the moment she awakened. Chilo isn't an orphan, Lili. She was stolen from her family in Mombacho because she has the Healer's Sight."
"Why not just take over?"
"We've never been able to muster the numbers we need, and there's the constant threat of the Legions to control. Between pressure from the Northern kingdoms and keeping the Darkness at bay, we've simply never had the chance."
"The Order of Águila was never meant to defend Áerlas from outside threats...." Leyrl swallowed. "It was built to keep the nations inside it in check."
Adeniyi nodded. "And any dissenting members of society under control."
Leyrl's head swam. "But my Sight.... How could I not have seen it?"
"The Rewriting."
The weight of Adeniyi's words fell upon Leyrl like a strike of lightening.
"You said there was a way to undo it?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"Rajii will show you once I am away."
"No, it is better this way... I don't want any part of this story. Of my family's story. I am nothing like them...."
"Leyrl, the scariest darkness that we must face is the darkness within ourselves. Within our own stories. And we cannot hope to fight the darkness out there until we have conquered the darkness in here," Adeniyi placed her hand on Leyrl's heart and through her tears smiled. "And that is what you are doing. And it hurts, but it will hurt so many more people if you don't accept that this has always been your fight, our fight. And we were born to win."
Leyrl felt herself nod without believing her mentor's words. She had so many more questions, but she decided to change the subject. Her mind hurt enough already.
"How'd you know not to wait for me?"
Adeniyi chuckled. "Lili, I do not want to hurt your feelings, but I hope you'll understand me not putting my hopes in a confused, young captain to save me from certain death. Although I am thankful that you've decided you don't hate me."
Leyrl felt a flush of frustration climb into her cheeks, but she bowed her head. "I never hated you."
"You certainly said as much when you put me at the mercy of that viper."
Leyrl looked away. "I know. I just...." Leyrl searched for the right words, not wanting another argument with her mentor. I was angry, Yi-yi.... I was angry with you. I was angry with Elindir. But.... I think I was angriest with myself."
"For what?"
"For being selfish. When you said the stuff about me being the heir to the throne.... Yi-yi, there's nothing that scares me more than that. There's nothing I want less than to have to try and lead a nation, but when I tried to justify it, you kept popping into my head... you sacrificed your freedom to keep me safe. You loved me even when I should've been your greatest enemy. Because that's the best shot we have at winning the war. Because that's the easiest way to reunite Áerlas against the Darkness."
Adeniyi pursed her lips. "Being a queen is not the same thing as being a slave."
Leyrl sighed. "Exactly. And I wasn't even willing to do that much. But now I've decided. I want to do what is right... what is just."
"Mmmm. And you are sure you are ready for what it will cost you?"
Liliana's eyes flashed. "I figured you'd be happy that I've decided to change and accept my destiny. To bring balance back to the eight kingdoms."
Adeniyi smiled as she bowed her head. "Restoring balance is more than poor people becoming more. It is also about rich people becoming less. The girl who was running away because her destiny didn't suit here and the girl who has chosen to side with justice because suddenly it does suit her are not so different. Are you really ready to become less, Leyrl?"
"I think so."
"Let's hope so," Adeniyi agreed, standing. "I need to get going."
Leyrl pushed herself to her feet, "I could go with you."
"No."
The tone in Adeniyi's voice left no room for disagreement.
"One last question, Yi-yi...."
Her mentor turned to her, a look of familiar long suffering appearing in her eyes as she took in the sight of her charge. "There always is."
"Why did you stay?"
Leyrl wished it could last forever: the hug that Adeniyi enveloped her in made the world seem right and whole again.
"Because I love you," she breathed and then paused, looking Leyrl in the eyes. "And I could not leave the only family I had left behind."
Leyrl looked startled, tears flowing down her cheeks even as Adeniyi pulled away and disappeared out her window.
"Yi-yi, I don't understand."
But she was already gone.
The heir apparent watched as her great golden eagle, Biruk, carried her deep into the night. And then she was gone.
Leyrl was alone. She had fallen short again.
Can I do anything right?
And she wept until exhaustion finally swept her into unconsciousness.
D I S C U S S I O N Q U E S T I O N S
1) What do we think about Shadow Sickness, y'all?
2) What did Adeniyi mean when she said Leyrl was her only family left?
3) You made it to the end of Part 1! What is one thing you're hoping for in Part 2? Who/what do you want do see more of? Who/what do you want to see less of? What do you think will happen next?
Real Talk: Which name do y'all like better: Leyrl or Liliana? I had kinda gotten attached to Liliana, so I'm thinking about having her keep that name. Thoughts? Feelings? Suggestions?
*
W O R D C O U N T
3 2 2 2