college was never easy on anyone. especially not right now. at least not for you. your past roommate was a clean freak and the office finally granted you another roommate. but due to the gender equality rule that has been established, some people are to share a room with opposite genders. you were okay with it as long as they weren't too strict or too loose but it still made you nervous. "y/n!" you turn around to see your best friend, sooah and instantly smile as she runs up to you. she had been away most of summer break because her father had these business trips and he wouldn't let her stay here on her own. she jumped up into your arms, making you twirl around from the sudden force.
"oh my god! it's been way too long," you said as you placed her down. noticing that she didn't have her luggage with her, you frowned, thinking she wasn't going to live here. "where's your..." your words trailed off as sooah noticed what you were trying to say.
"oh! i already had my luggage dropped off. i met my roommate. she's really nice. her name's choi jisu. she goes by lia since her english name is julia. she's studying abroad over here. she moved from canada but technically, this is still her hometown." she explains, obviously excited. you nod your head as she smiled brightly at you.
"i still haven't met my roommate. hopefully, they clean after themselves. it'd be nice if they're chill too.." you added as sooah agrees with a shrug. she hears her phone go off and pulls it out. she shows it to you with a scary look. seeing her dad on the caller id, you nod your head, understanding.
"sorry!" she says, smiling apologetically before leaving the room. after a while of you continuing to unpack and organize things, you hear a knock at the door. you look over and see a guy with a few boxes in his hands.
"um.. sorry. can i help you?" you said as he placed the boxes down. he was good looking, you had to admit. he chuckles, checking the door number.
"room 75a. i'm right. you must be my roommate." he says, giving you a sweet smile. you had just finished up your drawers so you stood up, making your way over.
"i'm a junior, seo y/n. nice to meet you." you reached out your hand as he softly accepted it, staring at you.
"yeonjun. choi yeonjun. i'm a senior..", he lets go, clearing his throat before looking around. "it's pretty spacious here. huh?" he says and you nod, moving out of his way for him to get ready. he starts to place his belongings on his side and walks into the bathroom with more supplies. you looked over to your mini fridge that you got for your cosmetics, frowning. since it needed a charger yet an accessible place for after showering, it was kind of difficult to find a place for it without talking with your roommate.
"hey. um..", he looks over, attention on you. "do you mind if i had this in the bathroom? it's just.. it's for my cosmetics and it'd be nice if it wa-"
"sure. do whatever you want. i'm pretty cool with anything." you smile before grabbing your fridge.
"thanks.." you were a bit awkward with this whole new thing since you've never had a roommate with the opposite gender. not that it mattered but.. you were just a bit unfamiliar. you quickly took the fridge inside, plugging it in the outlet. the room was really nice. too nice for a mere university.
the day quickly passed with unpacking and getting to know each other. you found yeonjun quite fun. he seemed like a nice guy and you were actually happy to be paired up with him. a couple weeks eventually went by as your classes started and things were back to normal. you were out for the day since you were shopping with sooah.
"what about this?" sooah points to a denim skirt with some cute patterns knitted onto it.
"it's cute but it seems too winterish.", you stated. she nods, thinking of what to wear. her father had a party or actually, it was more of a gathering for his company. one of his best employees was getting a promotion and he planned a ceremony to congratulate him. being his daughter, she had to represent herself in the best way possible. you sighed before turning around. you see a familiar back figure. you squint your eyes until the person slowly turns around, causing you to recognize him instantly. "yeonj-"
"baby!" a girl runs up to him, attaching her lips to his. you gulped as you stepped back. you didn't know he had a girlfriend. seeing you shocked, sooah taps your shoulder. you flinched a little at the contact before smiling.
"is something wrong?"
"no. sorry.. i just.. i spaced out.", you lied. you didn't know why you were so surprised by the new information but you thought it was best to just ignore it. just then, you find a cute dress in front of you. "what about this?" you took the hanger off the rack and showed sooah the dress. she slowly begins to smile and takes it from you.
"i love it.." you were glad she was a bit oblivious when it came to things like that. you tighten your grip around your purse and walk away where he wouldn't be able to see you.
"um.. sooah."
"yeah?"
"do you want to... go drink?", she looks at you worriedly. tomorrow was a school day. no way was she going to agree. she was a fun and caring friend but she'd never skip a day of school, no matter what. "never mind.. what am i say-"
"sure. why not? i haven't had fun in a while and plus.. this whole party has been stressing me out. or well.. my dad is. i don't think one drink would hurt.", you smiled as she went to try it on. it was a cute fit and you just had to see her wear it. it suited her style and at least it got your mind off yeonjun. you didn't care if he had a girlfriend. it was just kind of weird that he never bothered to tell you. but then again, you never asked. a few minutes passed and sooah came out, squealing. "it. is. gorgeous!"
"oh my god! i knew it'd look good on you." you replied with a big smile. she nodded, walking back in. it took quicker than her changing into it as she ran over to the cashier.
"hi.. did you find everything okay?"
"just perfect.."
"great. just this for you today?" sooah nods, handing him her gift card from here. her dad had gotten it for her and it basically is linked to his bank. you get prizes as you spend more. the cashier walks to the back, mumbling something. he comes back with a few other pieces of clothing. they were more of your style but you held back your words. they were from her dad's money and she got them.
"here. since you spent $500 with us, you get three of our best selling clothes. here is our hoodie, skirt, and shorts. thank you for shopping at our store! have a great rest of your day." the guy says. you watch her bow to him with a smile before handing you the bag with the extra clothing. you looked at her with widened eyes.
"what?"
"i saw you eyeing them as soon as he handed them to me. plus.. they're not really my style." you immediately break out into a smile before hugging her.
"thanks sooah!" she nods her head, smiling before pointing over to another store.
"since i gave you that.. can we go over to that store?" you nod, willing to do anything. you weren't the type to leech off rich people. your friend was just giving. of course you stopped her from time to time since it wasn't her money. plus, you didn't come from such a bad family either. you were born in a pretty normal one actually. you had an older brother, seo changbin, who was also a senior. he looked absolutely nothing like you which was why a lot of people got confused when you told them.
shopping made time pass by quicker than usual. since you had brought your car here, you decided to drop the car back home so you could call a taxi later on. you wanted to change into better clothes too so you thought it'd be a good idea to stop by the dorms. once you make it up the elevator, you can hear loud music in the halls.
"what the heck?", you said with a frown on your face. you heard the noise getting louder and louder as you became closer to your room. your steps grow heavier before you finally reach the door, slamming it open. as soon as you did, a whole room of people shifted their attention to you, music still playing in the background. "what. is.. happening?"
"oh. i thought you were spending the night at your friend's." yeonjun says, noticing you. you were just shocked but when you noticed one of the heads of your stuffed animals was torn, anger set off.
"why the heck are you holding a party in here without notifying me?" you didn't want to be known as the freaky kid but this. it was just unacceptable. the music dies down as the person controlling it, notices you walking in.
"woah.. i didn't know it was a big deal." yeonjun replies with a small smile. you ran over to your stuffed koala, trying not to let any tears show. you weren't the type to cry over things breaking or keep stuffed animals just because they were cute. you kept them cause they held memories. memories that you didn't want to lose.
when you were young, your aunt took you to arcades and it became sort of your safe spot ever since. she would teach you to play games, resulting in you winning a bunch of stuffed animals together. of course, you couldn't keep all of them. just the three important ones. your very first one, a cat. the one where you met sooah, koala. and the fox.. from that day. the day it was decided your aunt couldn't ever go with you anymore. she got into a car accident and she took off her own seat belt just to protect you, causing her to get hurt. badly. she got into a coma from that day. and even now, she lays in that hospital bed. pale as ever. no movement.
you looked down at the ground where the beady eyes of the koala stared at you. you felt so guilty. you took it in your hands and turned around, head hung low.
"who... who broke this?" it was barely audible as you couldn't bear this whole situation. you thought yeonjun was a good guy. and you thought wrong.
"sorry. it was torn when we were bringing the speakers in here. i'll buy you a new one." yeonjun speaks blatantly. he had no idea what was going on in your mind and he didn't understand why you weren't replying. sooah could see everything from outside, still kind of shocked to see this many people fitting inside the dorms. it was pretty spacious but it seemed even bigger now, just by the looks of the capacity. she carefully observes what you have in your hand before she gasps. it was a koala plushie. the day your aunt pushed you to become friends with her. and boy, were you glad she did. she knew those meant a lot to you. she ran over to you and dragged you out of the room.
"you okay?"
"he broke it.. it's torn. i.." you were on the brim of tears so sooah panicked.
"it's okay. i can sow it back. you know i'm good at fixing things like that. come on..", you looked up at her as she nodded in reassurance. she holds your shoulder before slowly stepping back in. "i think it's best.. if you all leave. sorry for the inconvenience." sooah says. it was a good thing she was known to be the sweet, cute kid in this university. a lot of boys liked her but she was too focused on her career and it never occurred to her that she could be spending that time with boys. the people muttered a few things before gathering their things and walking out. you walked back in with a huff. you placed your koala back onto the bed and walked over to your closet, grabbing a few clothes. you quickly dashed to the bathroom, slamming the door close.
"what's with her?" yeonjun says to sooah.
"that.. that stuffed animal may not mean much to you but. you don't know what she's gone through. just leave her alone for now, please.", sooah grabbed the bags she got from shopping earlier and knocked on the bathroom door. "hey.. it's me. sooah. mind opening up so i could change too?", she waited a few seconds until she heard the door unlock. she smiled and walked in. "you ok-"
"i'm fine.. let's just hurry and get out of here. we're going to that club. right?", you changed the topic as you didn't want to think about it anymore. she said she could fix it and you wanted to leave it at that. quickly changing into something more party like, you walk out, leaving sooah a little worried. you went over to your side of the room and grabbed your purse.
"look. i'm sorry that i-"
"doesn't matter..", you looked up at him, your eyes a bit glossy. "not like you actually care anyways." you gave him a fake smile before leaving the room.
you waited for a few minutes until sooah came running out.
"god. i thought you actually left.." she panted. you smiled at her before swinging your arm around her.
"without you? no way.." she smiles as you both made your way out. you let out a deep breath, waiting for the taxi. luckily, you called it when you were changing so it should be coming in about five minutes.
"you're really okay?" you looked over to sooah who was obviously worried. you looked down at your hands and bit your lip.
"it'll be fine. like you said. you can fix it.. it's just. if something ever happens to her.. that'll be all i have left of her." the tear you had tried so hard to keep in, falls down your right cheek. you quickly wipe it away with a weak smile. sooah grabs you and engulfs you into her embrace. you were a bit taller than her but it still made you feel safe. she was always there for you. especially since she knew how much you loved your aunt. you place your chin on her shoulder while she patted your back.
"i will. it'll be better than new. i promise." you nodded, letting go. you didn't care if people thought you were weird at this point. those animals were all you had left of her. each one that breaks or is dirty felt like you were failing her.
luckily, you were driven in no time. you made sure to give the guy a tip from your wallet before walking up to the club. it was a black building with cool neon designs on the outside. it seems to be neon week because as soon as you entered, there were lights flashing brightly along with the blaring music. you showed your id as they let you in. the first place you walked up to was the bar with the hot bartender. you remember him from the last time you came. sooah was alright when it came to alcohol but you. your alcohol tolerance was so high that you practically had to drink the original amount people drink when they're about to die to actually get drunk. you don't know how that happened but it was pretty convenient.
"one soju please." you asked as he smiled with a wink.
"you're back again, tray girl." you chuckle at the nickname as sooah catches up.
"beer please.." she says, getting seated. you turn around, watching the people dance as if there was no tomorrow. you wished you were that carefree of life too. if only you were like that, it'd be easier. a few more shots and you felt a lot better. you decided to mix the beer and soju, taking shots with sooah. together, she finally got a little tipsy while you watched her cheeks turn a little pink.
"hey. would you like to dance?" you hear. you look up to see a guy talking to sooah. her eyebrows lift before you push her arm.
"go.." you mouth. she rolls her eyes before walking off with the guy. it was just for today. might as well have some fun. you look in front of you as the bartender moves the four bottles out of the way.
"so.. don't you think i get to know your name by now? it's been years since i first met you." you look up at the bartender with a smile.
"why? you don't like 'tray girl' anymore?" you play around with your drink as you were now having cranberry vodka. two years ago, you came here with your ex boyfriend. you had been dating him for about four months when he suggested coming here. what you didn't know was he was cheating on you. you weren't really hurt by him doing so. it was that he had the audacity to not inform the other girl he had a girlfriend. he was two timing the both of you. you ended up hitting him with a tray and that's how you got the nickname. the girl became a friend of yours and you two got along well just fine. she went to a different university so you don't talk to her much anymore but the point was that, it was not her fault either. it was his. you haven't seen him since.
"i like it.. just. it seems empty without knowing your actual name.." you looked up at him and sighed.
"give me another shot glass.", he walks over to the other side of the bar, placing it in front of you. you poured him a shot and pushed the glass towards him, pouring some yours. "take a shot with me. then, i'll tell you."
"you're sure?"
"have i ever lied before? sober or drunk?"
"no.."
"then. there's your answer." you smirked, picking up the shot. he shrugged and took the cup in his hand.
"here's to that then..", you both gulped it down, feeling the familiar sting in your throat. "i'm jimin."
"seo y/n.."
"nice to meet you. y/n.." you chuckled as he held out his hand like the gentleman he is. accepting it with a small shake, you smiled before turning around to check on sooah. she was having the time of her life with her drink in her hand. you smiled, glad to see that at least she's having fun.
"how does it feel? you know.. being a bartender. everyone telling you their darkest secrets." you asked as jimin's eyes averted yours.
"i mean.. it's actually pretty nice. i'm good at keeping secrets and everyone's life is different so each one is pretty interesting." you nod your head with a smile, taking out your camera. you take a picture of your view to keep in your memories.
"must be nice.."
"why? something going on?" he finishes tidying up the bar and handing a drink to another customer before standing in front of you.
"she still hasn't woken up." you let out a sigh as he frowns.
"your aunt?", you nodded as he took out another bottle of soju. you looked at him, eyebrows furrowed. "this one's on the house. and the next few.."
"you sure? you know i can drink.."
"fine. the next two." you both chuckled as you nodded.
"thanks..", you opened the bottle, pouring it into your glass. "i got a new roommate a few weeks ago.. thought he was chill but i came back home today and he was holding a party without even telling me."
"damn.. that's kind of rude."
"yeah.. i wasn't so bothered though.. i got mad because he broke one of my things.." jimin stares at you as you take another shot to your mouth.
"well.. he is clearly an idiot.." you chuckled, a breathy agreement following. soon after, sooah came rushing back, face flushed. you chuckled, seeing her giggling.
"i.. danced.. so much!" she pants between her words before looking at you with sparkling eyes.
"alright.. i think it's time to go. it's been three hours..", you say, looking at the bottles jimin was just cleaning up. "how much is the total? hers too.." jimin goes over to check with the register before smirking.
"it's gonna be 40,000 won. (about $34)" you nod your head as you take out cash out of your wallet.
"thanks jimin..", you say, starting to feel a little tipsy. you rolled your neck, placing sooah's arm over your shoulder. "okay.. let's go." you walk out the bar, taking out your phone. you call a taxi over which comes pretty quickly.
"did i tell you? that i had fun!" sooah says all the sudden in the car. you chuckled, nodding.
"yes, you did.. you should be glad your roommate's nice. i'm going to drop you off first and then i'll run to the store to get us some hangover things, okay?" she nods with a smile before the driver reaches the dorms. "how much would it be?"
"it is..", he checks his meter which marks the cost and the distance. "14,000 won (about $12)." you smiled and paid him his money before getting off.
"alright.. come on." you basically carried sooah up to the elevators and into her dorm. lia was luckily there to take care of her while you went to stop by the convenience store. you thanked lia before jogging up to your own dorm. you didn't feel like running into yeonjun but you had to get your stamp card for the store. you made yourself to your room, walking in.
"you're ba- oh god.. are you drunk?" yeonjun says, smelling the alcohol from you immediately.
"not drunk. i just had alcohol." you said without much emotion. you pulled out your wallet from the drawer and stuffed it into your bag.
"look. i'm sorry. i didn't mea-"
"it's fine.. i'm sorry too for yelling. i just.. forget it. you won't understand anyway. but thanks for apologizing." you smiled at him before walking out the room but you couldn't get any further as he ran after you, grabbing your wrist.
"where are you going now?"
"to the store. my friend's quite the weak one when it comes to alcohol. or.. i guess i'm the strong one. i need to get some stuff for the morning or she's going to have a huge headache. let's just say it's a good thing she doesn't have morning classes tomorrow." you chuckled, happy to see that he cared enough to ask. he looked at you, still holding your wrist.
"hold on.." he softly lets go of you, hoping you don't leave. he came running back out with a jacket, stuffing his phone in his pocket.
"what are you doing?"
"i needed to stop by and get some things too. so i thought. you know.. might as well go with you." you bit your lip before slowly nodding.
"fine.." you both made your way out, walking so at least the smell could rub off. you close your eyes, letting the fresh air hit you.
"why.. why does it mean so much to you?" yeonjun's sudden topic confused you. you look up at him, stepping carefully.
"what?"
"the koala.."
"oh..", you bit the inside of your cheek, nervously gulping. "it was a prize.. from the arcade.." you knew that made you look even more stupid but it was hard for you to just tell someone about this. it wasn't that you found it hard to open up. it was just.. talking about it made it feel so real and you didn't want to accept the reality. you wanted her to wake up. you wanted to see her once again. even if that meant she couldn't ever be with you again. you just didn't want her to leave this world. yeonjun looked at you carefully, knowing there's more to the story. he sighs and blinks a few times, smiling.
"i used to love the arcade. i went there all the time as a kid. up until the middle of high school. it's a chill place." you smiled at his somewhat comforting words. you took a deep breath, understanding that you owe him an explanation. you can't get mad and yell at someone without them knowing what they did wrong.
"it's important to me because of my aunt.", you started. yeonjun's eyes widened a bit, surprised to see you actually willing to explain. "she got into a coma in a car accident. protecting me. she hasn't woken up yet. she was the one who used to always take me to arcades and taught me every game i know. every prize i got reminded me of her. the three that are on top of my drawer. they're my most important ones. i just.. i just got a little emotional. that's all." you teared up at the thought of it again.
"i'm sorry.. i.. i didn't know that." inhaling a few breaths, you try to smile it off.
"yeah well.. things happen." you said, now looking down at the ground as you didn't want him to see you cry. but a tear drops and you swore you heard it hit the floor.
"hey..", yeonjun stops you, noticing. he holds your arm and turns you around slowly. "it's gonna be okay. we have one of the best doctors in this country. she will get better." you don't know how many times you have told yourself that but something about the tone in his voice soothed you. he lets go of you, a little awkward. whether it was because you were drunk or because you were feeling weak, you wanted comfort. you stepped in a little closer, wrapping your arms around his torso. he was confused but it didn't stop him from doing the same, tapping your back.
"thank you..", you smiled and a few seconds passed before you realized what you were doing. you let go of him, avoiding your gaze. "sorry.." without much else, you turned around and walked a bit more since the store was right around the corner. you step in the store, wanting to look back. you grabbed onto one of the handles of the freezer, your heartbeat increasing. what the heck were you thinking? it's fine. you can just blame it on you being drunk. you smiled, grabbing a few things here and there before hearing the bell of the door ring. you knew he had caught up with you so you made your way to the cashier quickly.
"you find everything alright?" you nod your head as he scans the items. "it'll be-" you interrupt him, handing him your credit card. you just had to get out of here.
"sorry.. thank you." you said, taking your bag. you quickly run out the store but stop after a while to catch your breath. but it didn't occur to you that the time you were spending to take a break, yeonjun had finished with his shopping as well and caught up to you, confused.
"y/n-"
"just don't.. please." you said, holding up your hand embarrassed. you can see him stepping closer by his shadow on the ground.
"i'm not mad. it's.. y/n-"
"no. you don't have to be nice about it. it was wrong for me to do that. i'm just.. i'm drunk, you know?", you chuckled awkwardly. "plus. you have a girlfriend. i can't do that.." you sighed and hesitated before turning around.
"girlfriend?"
"yeah.. i saw you the other day at the mall and you were.. well, you were kissing her an-"
"you saw me at the mall?"
"yeah.." you said, not noticing how creepy you sound right now. this whole thing was a mess.
"i don't have a girlfriend." you look up at him, confused.
"so. you weren't kissin-"
"we were but-", he stops, thinking about what to say. he didn't want to seem like a player but she wasn't his girlfriend. she liked him and he led her on because he was just friendly. nothing intentional. just happened. "it meant nothing. i mean! i don't like her. wait! god.. this is so-"
"i get it.. just forget what i did anyway. it's best for the both of us. let's just go home. we have roll call in a few hours." he nodded at your words as you both walked on your way. every night, your dorms had roll calls to make sure no one was out at night during school hours. it was sort of a curfew but it was at 12 in the morning so you didn't care. it was a good reminder. they let you off on weekends so it was pretty nice.
not forgetting your best friend, you stop by her dorms, dropping off the stuff. lia was a sweet girl. you were glad sooah had a roommate like her. after getting yourself back home, you plopped onto the couch you two had shared, groaning.
"i'm home.." you close your eyes for a bit, hoping not to fall asleep. fortunately, you didn't. you got up to take a shower and that sober you up fully. you walk out to see yeonjun laying down on his bed with his phone in his hands. he catches you eyeing him from the corner of his eyes and smiles.
"you tired?", you flinched at his voice before slowly nodding. "go to sleep. don't you have class tomorrow?"
"yeah. um.. yeah. good night."
"good night."