There will be no post next Sunday :( I'm very sorry but I do not have enough chapters so I plan to work hard at my writing whenever I can in order to post regularly again. Sorry if anyone is upset about this but enjoy this weeks chapter ❤️ TW: Self-harm
TJ POV:
My birthday is a Friday, thankfully, which meant it didn't fall on a day I'd have to go to the shitty criminal reformation camp whatever it is. But I'm still not thrilled it's two days after. Not that I intend on going.
But my dad does seem insistent on sending me.
Anyway, the only reason I felt even the tiniest of joy upon waking up on that Friday is because I knew Chris had planned a party. And I felt very much in the mood for that right now.
As suspected, my parents hadn't bothered to stay to wish me a happy birthday-or even make me breakfast-so Amber was the only one giving me gifts, serving me the worst, burnt batch of blueberry pancakes I've ever tasted and singing my praises. This included me receiving a voucher for the record store, a Pink Floyd Vinyl as well as a terrible rendition of Happy Birthday by my sister herself. Not bad so far.
I also had not intention of going to school that day, which seemed fair enough. It felt like I hardly went there now a-days but, then again, I don't really care.
After saying goodbye to Amber (once she's given up convincing me to come to school with her), I awaited the gift I was looking forward to the most today.
My beautiful boyfriend.
When the doorbell finally rang, I got to my feet and opened the door to see his smiley face grinning at me. The summer sun was hitting his face at an angle that brought out the golden flecks in his hazel eyes and highlighted the bronze hues in his curls that dusted his olive skin. He clutched a red paper bag in his hands.
'Hey, you,' Clem stepped forwards to kiss my nose, 'Happy Birthday,'
I chuckled, letting him in and closing the door, 'Thank you, I am officially legal,'
Rolling his eyes, Chris handed me the bag, 'Here, your first present of three,'
'Three?!' I raised my eyebrows, 'When am I getting the second and third?'
'When I'm ready!' He shook his head, 'Get through the first one first,'
Gladly, I looked inside the bag to see a papered box which I tore open carefully. When I opened up the black, leather case I saw a little rainbow pin inside that represented the gay pride flag.
Taking it out, I pinned it to myself, 'I love it, thank you Clem,'
That time, he kissed my cheek and wrapped his hands round my waist, 'You ready for your party?'
'When does it start?...and where is it?'
'6, at Less's house...his is the biggest,'
'How many people are coming?'
'Like.....half the year?'
My eyes widened, 'Really?'
'Yup, with booze and drugs supplied by-' Chris took out a little business card, 'Reed with the weed Queenan, your go to man for fun, booze and a fuck ton of drugs!'
I cringed, 'Reed is...something else,'
'I'll say,'
'What we doing until then?'
Chris went to the kitchen, leaning against the counter, 'we're having drinks at Reeds before we go to Lester's for the party which is being organised by Iris and Amber whilst we have drinks,'
'You really got it all planned?'
'Yep, down to the last detail,' Clementine promised, 'Now, come on or we'll be late,'
****
2 beers later, me, Chris, Reed and Lester finally arrived at my birthday party (my second present) which was well underway with flashing lights and deafening music which we could hear from a block away.
We got inside to see lots of people crammed into the building holding the cliché red cups containing alcohol as they danced to the same beat.
Amber ran up to give me a big hug, 'Happy 16th lil' bro!'
'Thanks Ambs,' I smiled, hugging her back as I felt a tiara be placed on my head, 'What-'
'Birthday Boy Tiara...duh!' Reed patted my jack and yelled, 'HAND HIM THE BOOZE,'
I was soon given my third beer of the night which I offered to Chris, 'I know you don't usually drink but, I thought I'd ask just in case,'
Chris considered it before taking the cold bottle, 'I guess one night couldn't hurt,'
Lester lead me to a throne looking chair, 'This is where you must sit my liege whilst your trader, Reed of Weed, and I, your Court Lester, wait on you and your King for the rest of the evening,'
I leaned over to Chris who sat in the similar chair beside me, 'How much did you pay them?'
He whispered back, 'twenty dollars each plus A's on the next two week worth of homework,'
'Love you,'
'Love you too,'
The night was fun for the most part, I was having a really nice time.
Until I saw Cyrus.
He was laughing with his friends looking effortlessly perfect as he joined in on the fun. The fun he wasn't having with me. And for some reason I still felt drawn to him, no matter what I tried to distract myself with, it was still the facts. Him being here annoyed me.
And I'm not so hot when I'm annoyed.
'I'd like another shot please,' I said to Lester.
He glanced at Chris, 'But...you've had like, 4 beers and two shots already-'
'It's my birthday,' I argued.
'How about I get you a coffee with a tiny bit of vodka?' Lester offered calmly.
Getting to my feet, I raised my voice, 'If you won't get it for me then I will,'
Shoving him out the way, I poured myself 2 shots for good measure. After doing that and feeling completely and utterly out of it, which I didn't give a shit about, I heard Ambers voice from the living room presumably on a mic.
The alcohol possessing me, I staggered my way there and found myself snatching the mic whilst stood on a coffee table like a stage.
'Hello Jefferson Middle School,' I greeted them, everyone worriedly eyeing me as I swayed, 'Most Of you probably are just here for the booze but in case you didn't know, it's actually my birthday,'
Some people whooped.
'But I don't expect any of you to give a shit,' I laughed sadly, 'Turning sixteen makes me reflect on the other years I've spent on this earth- which haven't been great,'
There was a silence.
'For example, last year most of you were probably subjected to my constant harassment in one way or another. And I'm sorry about that, I'm a total dick!' After another awkward laugh I continued my spontaneous speech,
'Yeah...I was a total moron then, still kind of am apparently since-don't know if you heard-I graffitied a wall the other day, now I have to go to some criminal thing but whatever,'
'Not that this is an excuse but last year was pretty bad for me too. Like, first of all I find out my dad is cheating on my mom! That was fun and that's still happening...but I got my first boyfriend which was cool until he abandoned me, guess a camera is more valuable than me but I get that,'
Silence.
'When we were together, he was actually the only one who gave a crap. No one else did! Not even my own family. So I'm grateful for that. He also helped me through all the shit in my life like...I bet none of you knew I used to hurt myself, on purpose,'
Chris scrambled up from his chair to stop me.
'That's right, me, I did that. That's what happens to closeted gay kids with shitty parents and shitty friends-'
'Stop it,' Chris murmured as he tried to take the mic.
'Why-'
He got the mic and passed it to Amber as he dragged me upstairs whilst my sister tried to clean up the mess I'd made.
Dizzy and red in the face, I glared at Chris who was shutting the door to Lester's bedroom.
'What the hell?' I grumbled, collapsing onto the bed.
'You're drunk,' Chris stated plainly, rubbing the sides of his head as he shut his eyes clearly trying to calm himself.
'So what it's my birthday! Why'd you have to kill the fun?'
'You're having fun?' Chris asked sarcastically, 'That speech was a clear cry for help,'
'What the hell are you-'
'You just told a whole room of people about your self-harm. Reed, Lester, Amber, Cyrus!' Clem leaned against the door, 'This is my fault I shouldn't have thrown this party,'
'It is your fault,' I agreed, 'You made me care about you and then you left,'
Chris froze, 'I-,'
'Yeah yeah, I'm sorry I'm sorry, is that what you're about to say? Save it, I don't care. It's not like you were the only one there for me and then you left just like everyone else,'
I'd never seen Clementine look so upset in my life but I was too drunk to think about it in that moment.
'I did not choose my camera over you,' he pointed at me, 'How could you even think that,'
'I don't think that I know it,' I stood up, almost falling over as I walked over to him, 'Let me out,'
'No,'
'Chris, let me out or so help me god I'll punch this door down,' I threatened aggressively, pushing him away.
He complied, letting me stumble through the corridor and almost fall down the stairs whilst he stayed in the previous room. I trudged through the party feeling as though the air was pressing on me, my cheeks burning with how hot it was so I decided to go outside.
When I pulled open the patio door, I was surprised to see a familiar someone sat on the stone step with a cup. I sat beside him without thinking too much.
He widened his eyes in surprise, looking me up and down, 'TJ?'
'Hey Cy,' I sighed, stretching my legs out in front of me, 'You ok?'
'Yeah...are you?'
'Ehhhh,' I patted his shoulder, 'A little on the tipsy side,'
Cyrus handed me the cup, 'Just water,'
'Cheers,' I took a sip and passed it back to him.
A few moment of silence passed before he made conversation, 'So...your speech was pretty deep,'
'What speech?' I asked, the last few minutes already blurring.
'Erm,' Cyrus frowned, 'It happened about five minutes ago, you spoke about last year to the entire school,'
I vaguely remembered, the horror being numbed by the drink so I thought nothing of it, 'Oh that! Yeahhh,'
Cy nodded, 'You sure you're ok?'
'Ace,' I did a weird hand symbol, 'Well, me and Chris just had a fight,'
'About the speech?'
'I don't know, I can't really remember. He seemed mad though, he never seems mad,'
Cyrus shrugged, 'I'm sure you two will be fine, I can tell you love each other a lot, so, you'll work it out,'
I shook my head, 'Oh no no, I don't love him,'
He raised his eyebrows, 'You...don't love him?'
'Nope, I used to but that's over now so,'
'I.....thought you two were dating,'
'We are But...I don't really like him like that you know? The only person I like like that that I like like is another guy that I like and the guy I like like is you,' I started laughing hysterically for some reason whilst Cyrus blushed bright red.
'W-What-'
'I don't like Chris!' I rolled my eyes in annoyance, 'I like you,' I tapped his leg.
Cyrus glanced up and became alarmed at seeing Chris stood right behind us.
Clem's smile faltered for a missable second before he came over and took my hand, 'Teej, I'm going to take you home,' then he looked at Cyrus, 'I think he's had enough partying for one night,'
Cy nodded, 'Yeah, probably,'
'Thanks for watching over him,' Chris thanked him before lifting me out of there.
My brain is fuzzy.
I think I'm falling asleep.
This is sure gonna be a headache in the morning.
In more ways than one.