Chapter 15
Emilia woke up in the morning bathed in warmth. She snuggled into the warmth before she remembered where she was. She went to sit up only to be held down by Alex who had his arms wrapped tightly around her. She knew she wasn't get out of his hold so she stopped struggling enjoying the peaceful moment.
However it wasn't peaceful for long before Aiden came into the room screaming and climbing onto the bed jumping on the both of them.
"Aiden go back to sleep." Alex mumbled causing Emilia to chuckle as he gentle pushed his son off him and pulling the covers over his head.
"Daddy, Jacob come over today. You said." Grumbling Alex pulled the covers off his head and looked at the clock to see it was eight on a Sunday morning.
"God Aiden could you let Daddy and Em sleep in today." Alex rubbed his eyes and looked over to Emilia who was smiling.
"No Jacob here soon hurry daddy" Alex knew Aiden was right, but he was too comfortable.
"How about this Aiden. I take you down stairs and Daddy will meet us down in a minute." Alex protested at Emilia's suggestion. He wanted her to stay with him.
"Alex behave." Emilia said as she got out of bed and took Aiden downstairs. Once Aiden was playing Emilia knew Alex would of gone back to sleep so she grabbed her bag which was by the couch and went into the bathroom to change. As Emilia was coming out the bathroom. The doorbell rang and Aiden went to answer the door.
"Aiden no." Emilia shouted chasing after the giggling boy. Aiden stuck his tongue out at Emilia before opening the door to a women and a child who looked about the same age as Aiden.
"Hello Aiden where is your daddy." The lady asked as she looked down at Aiden.
"Daddy lazy bum, he still sleeping." Aiden giggled pointing to him bum.
"Hey where did you learn that?" Emilia said as she walked over and picked up Aiden. Jessica smiled at the women before her who she knew was Emilia. Alex was right when she described her.
"Hi you must be Emilia. I am Jessica Alex's friend." Recognition across Emilia's face as she welcomed in Jessica and her son.
"I am so sorry come, in Alex is just getting up." Jessica chuckled as she walked into the lounge room and put Jacob down to play.
"It is so nice to finally meet you. Alex talks about you all the time." Emilia blushed, she knew Alex talked about her, but the way Jessica said it made it sound like it was all the time.
"It is nice meeting you too. Alex didn't tell me you were coming over today." Emilia was upset that Alex didn't tell her, but she understood, he was a busy man.
"Not surprising, he is always forgetting something or running late." They both laughed because Emilia knew firsthand how late Alex could be when Aiden was playing up.
"Well we haven't had any breakfast yet. Do you want to come and help me?" Emilia wasn't sure if Jessica had been over before or felt comfortable being by herself in Alex's home.
"We have eaten, but I am sure Jacob will eat again. He eats so much for such a little boy, I don't want to know what he will be like when he gets older." Jessica chuckled to herself while Emilia smiled gently at her. Both the women started cooking talking about everything when they heard Aiden and Jacob screaming.
"Daddy put us down." Aiden yelled as Alex ran towards the kitchen with both boys under his arms like footballs.
"I am going to eat you, you little devils." Alex said growling at them.
"Uncle Alex, Mommy help!" Alex look at Jessica before looking at her son the devil.
"Jessica, you son is the devil." Alex said putting the boys down who ran away before Alex could get to them.
"What did they do this time?" Alex can still remember the last time they were over and they got into the toothpaste.
"They came into my room with water. Where they got the water I have no idea and threw it over me saying get up." Alex grumbled and Emilia took note of how Alex's hair was wet and a few droplets glistened down his bare chest.
While Emilia was admiring Jessica started laughing before Alex shot her a look telling her to be quiet.
"Where did they get the water from?" Jessica laughed as Alex walked behind Emilia wrapping his arms around her and resting his wet head on her shoulder.
"Alex get your wet head off my shoulder." Emilia tried to push Alex off, but he wasn't moving.
"No." Alex said stubbornly. Emilia rolled her eyes while Jessica looked on wishing she had someone like Alex in her life. You could see how much these two love each other, you would have to be blind not too.
"Mommy is Uncle Alex still mad." All three adults looked over to the boys whose head was peeking out from behind the corner.
"No Alex is not mad is he?" Jessica looked at Alex who rolled his eyes.
"No." He grunted still not happy that he got wet.
"Ok." They both came out timidly from behind the wall before running over to Alex and wrapping their arms around his legs.
"We sorry." Alex let go of Emilia and bent down to their height.
"It's ok, just don't do it again." They both nodded their head and run to the dinner table ready to eat.
Emilia watched Alex as his muscle rippled as he stretched his arms over his head drawing in his taunt muscles up. Emilia was so enchanted by Alex that she didn't notice breakfast burning until Jessica rushed over pulling the pan off the stove.
"The food is ok." She said knowing he voice was falling onto deaf ears as Emilia and Alex watched each other as there love and burning tension grew between them.
"Are you guys going to goggle each other all day or are we going to have breakfast then plan Aiden' party." Alex and Emilia snapped out of there trance smiling goofily at each other.
"Here let me help considering it is my house." Alex said going to help Jessica get breakfast ready. Alex grabbed the plates while Jessica dished up the food and Emilia grabbed glasses and drink. Once breakfast was ready everyone ate while Jessica and Alex caught up with each other and gossiped about other people.
Emilia found it highly amusing how Alex a full grown business man could act like a pre-teen in a matter of seconds when it came to rumours and gossip.
"Daddy can we pway outside." Aiden pleaded at his Dad who was in a conversation to Jessica about a lady at play group who was having a 4th child to a different father again.
"Sure, just be careful." They watched the boys jump from their seats and rush outside to play on the jungle gym.
"So Alex what have you planned for Aiden birthday, and when is it." Alex started to clear the dishes and insisted that the women sit down and enjoy themselves.
"His birthday is on November 16th so two weeks." Alex being too lazy to hand wash the dirty dishes he put them in the dishwasher then hardly got used.
"Two weeks Alex that is not enough time to plan a party and send out invites. Men always leaving things to the last minute." Jessica mumbled under her breath and as much as Emilia didn't want to admit it Jessica was right. She had seen it first hand with her brothers.
"Look I don't want a huge party just family and a few friends of Aiden. Jessica by the time I invite our family and grandparents and great-grandparents it will be more the enough people, trust me. I don't want to make a big deal out of it." He murmured the last part to himself even though the women heard him.
He remembered Aiden's first birthday. He let his mother organise the party as he was in no state with Maria's first anniversary was coming up. He spent most the start of the day in a state of depression that he didn't even want to leave the house. Aiden was so excited to open his presents at his place that he put on a happy smile for his son even though he was breaking inside.
When he took Aiden over to his mother's she had planned this huge party for Aiden's birthday. Aiden was over the moon soaking up all the attention he was getting. There were people everywhere and he didn't even know half of them. Alex tried to be happy, but when someone bought up Aiden's mother Alex lost it.
He is ashamed to say he didn't remember much of that day. After he arrived at his mother's around lunch he spent the rest of the day in a drunken haze, to the point he couldn't even look at Aiden without a disgusted look on his face. It got to the point where he started blaming Maria's death on the little boy who was filled with light a boy until he yelled out that he hated Aiden because he took Maria away from him.
After Alex said those words Damien took him back home to settle down, he remembered the weight of those words he just spoke, that he broke down in front of his brother blaming himself for Maria's death, it was his fault that he got her pregnant, it was his fault she died. Alex couldn't stand the pain so he drowned his sorrows in liquor until he passed out from fatigue and alcohol.
Alex swore from that day onwards he would be the best father Aiden could ask for and that his mother would never plan a party again.
Alex snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a gentle rubbing his arm. He snapped out of his haze to see Emilia gently rubbing his arm trying to comfort him.
"Hey you ok?" Alex nodded his head knowing if he spoke he would cry and say something he shouldn't. Alex already blamed Maria's death on himself, he didn't want to say something to Emilia that he would regret and she would leave him.
"So cake Alex at least tell me you have organised that already. " Jessica said knowing that whatever Alex was just thinking made him upset, so she decide to distract him with the party plans.
"Yeah I already ordered the cake like a month ago. I am not that helpless Jess." Alex said rolling his eyes before pulling Emilia to the table.
"So I am guessing we are going Thomas theme." Emilia asked making sure she kept an eye on the boys.
"Yep and I already book this giant ass jumping castle. It has a huge slide and this ball pit inside." The women watched Alex's eyes light up.
"So in other words Alex wanted the jumping castle." The women snickered when Alex threw up his hands.
"Um yes I mean it is the only time of the year I get before Aiden gets too big, no way in hell am I going to pass up the chance. Just you wait until Damien and I get on it." Last time Alex and Damien got on a jumping castle at one of their sisters party, they both were kicked off and were told never to hire from the man again.
They planned food, decorations, the invite which Emilia was going to do and know the thing he dreaded most. The invites.
"Ok Alex who are we inviting." Emilia said as the boys ran back inside for the tenth time today.
"Boys stop running in the house." Alex yelled as the boys ran back outside again. Alex ran his fingers through his hair not wanting to do this part. He had gotten dressed a while ago after Jessica pointed out many times for him to put a shirt on.
"Alex stop stalling." Jessica said in a stern motherly voice.
"Can I order lunch first? I am too lazy to cook, everyone fine with pizza?" After Alex placed everyone's order he knew he had no choice, but to start party list.
"Ok so my parents my brother and sister and their children so that's what, 11 people already." Jessica wrote down the names as Emilia was working on the invitations.
"Ok who else." Jessica added her name and Jacobs knowing Alex would forget.
"Ok so from work I have Isaac and his wife Molly, Philip and his wife and don't forget Andrea she will have my balls if she doesn't get an invite." Emilia snickered as Jessica shook her head.
"Right are you inviting Emilia's family?" Emilia lifted her head not thinking Alex was going to invite them.
"Yeah there is Linda, Aaron, Jason, Eve, Brett, Rachel and there two kids." Emilia was surprised that he remembered all their names even though he only met them once.
"It is ok with you if I invite them Emilia?" Alex asked as he watched Emilia's confused face.
"Yeah if you want." Alex nodded and Alex said a few more people from Aiden's school before the list was complete with 24 people.
"Ok what about Aiden's other Grandparent's, Maria's parents." Alex became ridged in his seat before he stood up quickly surprising them both.
"Look I don't want to talk about the party anymore ok, so just get the invites done and send them out." Alex walked away leaving them both shocked and confused to his reaction. The doorbell rang and Alex used that as an excuse to get away from planning the party. Alex grabbed the pizzas and paid the man before closing the door and taking them into the kitchen.
"Lunch is ready." The boys ran inside as Alex disappeared into his study. Knowing that Alex could wait Emilia and Jessica made sure the boys were feed and made sure they were fine before she went to find Alex.
"Hey Emilia, I think I might take the boys outside to the park while you talk to Alex." Emilia nodded knowing the boys shouldn't have to see Alex angry and upset.
"I think that is a good idea. I will send you a text when it is ok to come back." Emilia waited for Jessica and the boys to leave before she went the same way Alex did. Her hands were shaking as she knocked before reaching the door handle to open it.
She didn't know what she would expect behind the door. She knew Alex had a slight drinking problem, she remembered the day he told her that he likes to drink away his pain. Her heart ached for him, but at the same time she was cautious. Knowing she needed to be on her a game she walked into the room to mind Alex sitting at his desk with a bottle of scotch and a tumbler filled with the dark liquid.
"You shouldn't be here Emilia." Alex said sipping his drink as if he were drinking water. Emilia took a step forward ignoring Alex's request.
"How much have you had Alex?" Alex tossed the glass back as he went to fill it again.
"None of your business." He snapped at her and rejected it the moment he did.
"Look please leave, I am not good company and I could hurt you by saying something I shouldn't." Shaking her head Emilia pushed away her own demons and went over to Alex taking his glass and bottle. Alex didn't do anything as he sat back and watched Emilia take away the only thing that would numb the pain inside of him.
"Alex if you are hurting I don't want you to drink anymore, I want you to come to me. I will always be here." Emilia walked back over to Alex about putting his drink away and stood in front of him. She went to sit on his desk instead Alex had other ideas and pulled her into his lap.
"I haven't seen them Maria's funeral." Alex whispered as his heart contracted like someone was squeezing it with an iron fist. He cringed as he remembered the day as if it was yesterday.
Alex didn't want to come, he wanted to stay home. He was tired and wished this pain inside him would just end already. He straighten up his black suit as he put his sunglasses on his face. He could feel everyone watching him because he was late, but he knew no one would say anything. His mother made him shave and shower for the event that he didn't want to attend. He opened his car door got out a sleeping new born boy. He made sure to grab the nappy bag tossing it over his shoulder.
"Here Alex let me take that." His mother said trying to grab the bag off it.
"Leave it mother." He said coolly. He looked out into the crowd seeing Maria's parents Suzie and Logan and her older brother Jeremy. He couldn't keep eye contact with them and turned his back towards the not being able to deal with the grief inside their eyes. They all congregated outside the church as Jeremy and Logan came towards him.
"Alex it's time." Alex didn't say anything as he passed Aiden over to his mother. He followed the men as they walked over to the car carrying the coffin he refused to look out. Alex kept a blank face as the men in Maria's life gathered around to make the march into the church.
"Gentlemen, we are ready whenever." The men got into position as they bent down to pick up the coffin. The lifted the coffin onto their shoulder as they started the march in. As they neared the church Alex could hear the sound of light sobs coming from Logan who was on the other side of him leading the way into the church. They stood outside the entrance and the music of say something flowed throughout the church.
On cue the men walked in as people around them openly cried as the coffin of their loved one was carried to the front. Once they reached the front the men slowly lowered the coffin and went to their seats.
Alex wanted to sit in the back far away from everyone however he was placed at the front with the love of his life lying a mere few feet away from him. Alex took Aiden off his mother who was still sleeping. Alex was glad it was a closed coffin because there was no way he would be able to look at her lying there peacefully not moving an inch.
"We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of young Maria Rose Moore." As the ceremony went on and blessing were made all Alex wanted to do was escape to his bottle of scotch in the quiet of his own home.
"Now we get to hear from Maria's family." When Logan and Suzie started to talk about Maria Alex had to look away unable to see the pain in their eyes. Suzie was crying by the end of the speech and Logan gently took her back to their seat, but not before placing flowers on her coffin.
When Jeremy went up, Alex lost it knowing how close Maria and her brother were. He held Aiden close to him hoping he would erase the pain building inside of him and the guilt that he took away this beautiful women away from her family.
"Maria was more than a sister to me, she was my best friend and sometimes she would be the older sibling. As a child she had these grand plans for her life and had this plan on the man she was going to marry." He laughed and Alex could feel him looking at him.
"When Maria bought Alex home for the first time I wanted to kill him. He was everything that I knew I would hate. However the more I got to know Alex the more I saw how much he loved my sister." Alex looked up and regretted it when he saw the few tears running down his face as he wiped them away taking a deep breath.
"Maria had so much love to give and anyone could see how much she loved Alex and her son she never got to meet." Alex felt a hand on his leg and saw his mother crying as she gave him an encouraging pat.
"Even though she never got the chance of seeing her son, I knew she would have been the perfect mother and wife. Yes, we all knew of Alex's plan to marry her before he even asked and now he will never get the chance. Maria will miss out on a lot of things, but she will forever being our hearts and in the image of her son Aiden. I love you baby sis and I will miss you like hell. The only thing she would wish for was Alex and the rest of us to move on and enjoy life." Jeremy was crying as he walked over kissing his sister's coffin and going back to his seat.
"Next we have Maria's boyfriend Alex Costa." Everyone in the room knew Alex was more than Maria girlfriend, they were soul mates, lovers and they all knew how hard this was for him.
Alex didn't want to say anything, but his mother convinced him to. He looked at Aiden who was opening his blue eyes that were the exact replica of Maria's he kissed Aiden's forehead who was asleep again off to his mother. He straightened up his suit and pulled on his cool masked face he reserved only for work.
As he stood in front of Maria's family and friends, his chest tightened again as if someone was turning a key to tighten his encased heart.
"I meet Maria when I was a snotty 15 years old boy. I saw her walk into one of my classes and I thought I saw an angel." Alex had to stop as his voice quivered and he cleared it as his icy masked started to slip. Everyone was watching him and they could tell how tired he was by the dark circle under his eyes and the redness to them due to excessive crying.
"I didn't ask her out until I was 16, I knew after that first date she was the women I wanted to marry." Alex choked again as tears gathered in his eyes that he refused to shed. His throat became tight and his hands started shaking that he had to grip the podium.
"Maria, Maria was..." Alex couldn't continue anymore, at the sound of his son's cries he broke down into a bubbling mess. His chest became so tight that he couldn't breathe. Tears he had been trying to hold in were escaping. His vision became blurry and the pounding in his head started as he swayed on the spot.
Gut wrenching sobs escaped him that caused everyone around him to feel his pain that he had been trying so hard to keep in until he was home.
Fabian jumped up and ran towards his son pulling him into his arms. Alex buried his head into his father's neck like a child would do when they were scared or hurt.
"I can't do it Dad I can't say goodbye." He mumbled over and over through his tear shed.
"Let's put the flowers down son." Alex shook his head as his father supported his own body weight.
"I can't, I can't say goodbye. She wasn't meant to die." He called out in pain. He knew he was making a scene, but he couldn't do it. Over the soft sobs in the room Aiden's cry for his father drowned out all the other noises.
"I need Aiden." He whimpered as his father steered him back to his spot. When he was close enough he held out his arms and his mother passes the screaming baby over to him. The moment Aiden was in Alex's arms the boy stopped crying as his parents went and put his flowers onto the coffin. Alex pulled Aiden onto his shoulder and nuzzled his sons head against his as he held his head for support.
As people started walking up to the coffin with flowers Maria's family came over towards them.
"Alex we are so sorry." Alex nodded as the first notes for Angel by Robbie William's played through the church. Alex started crying again as he remembered that this was there song.
"I am sorry, I can't do this." Alex stood up unable to bear the pain anymore and rushed out the church ignoring the loud sobs coming from Maria's mother and the calling of his own mother saying he needed to say goodbye. Alex rushed over to his car strapping Aiden in before getting into his own side.
"Dammit, she wasn't meant to die." He yelled slamming his first into the steering wheel. Aiden started to cry with the loud yelling coming from Alex as he let out his frustration and pain onto his car wheel. Once he came out of the sound of Aiden's crying and his heavy panting was all that could be heard in the car.
"Daddy is so sorry baby, daddy is so sorry he failed you and mommy, I am so fucking sorry." He cried as sobs shook his whole body. Eventually Aiden stood crying and Alex calmed down. He looked out his window to see Maria's family looking at him with tear filled eyes. They started to come forward and Alex shook his head starting up his car.
Alex never did go to the burial or the party afterwards, he didn't even find out where she was buried. Instead he went home and drunk until he was numb. That was the last time he ever say Maria's family.
****
So umm ok, the amount of time I had to stop and have a cry session before starting again was alot. I shed so many tears in writing this chapter and the flashback oh god I cried more then iIcan remember.
So Alex drinks away his pain this makes my hear ache it really does and the memories in the chapter I think I killed myself writing this.
Not as long, but the next part we address this issuing with Alex not saying goodbye even after three years.
Yes at times he was rude and the flashback a little irresponsible but you need to remember he is only 24 so 22 when he lost Maria and he is hurting.
Anyway, I started a new romance book and I am hoping you all can give it a look and a chance. It's called "Take me Home" and it is about a women in the army who has to start again. It wont be as mussy as this and alot more intense in the romance department, but still cute, so please give it a go the prologue has been posted.
It wont start until early 2015 as perfectly flawed is coming to an end soon. Don't worry there are still alot more chapters to come but we are well over half way.
Fun fact about the book. as of this chapter the book is siting at 70,149 words and 136 pages on word at size 11 font. When I stared this book I didn't think I would write this much.
Random question, how many of my readers are male?
Anyway happy new year and enjoy the partying and I hope you enjoyed your Christmas