Though the past days had all consisted of nothing but constant travel through both sea and sky, (y/n) hadn't been bored for a minute of it. She had a lot of catching up to do, and so she sat there, listening for hours on end as her new friends told her everything about the adventures they'd had before the battle at the North Pole. (y/n) herself shared a bit of her time on the ship, as well as everything before that: waking up, her years in the Fire Nation, the death of her parents, Azula, Roku. That made for a significantly more depressing conversation, but hey, (y/n) thought - they would have to find out eventually, and there was no point in keeping secrets now.
As well as that, (y/n) had taken some time to practice bending the other elements - if she was to spend days surrounded by water and air, she might as well make use of it. Her airbending, she was happy to admit, was coming along nicely. Of course, she was nowhere near creating an air scooter, but she could blow herself backwards across short distances and knock some objects over. For now, that was good enough, and anyway, no matter where she went, she would always be surrounded by air - infinite opportunities to develop her skills.
As for water, though... well, that was a different story entirely. It's not that (y/n) didn't understand Katara's instructions - far from it - but even so, there was always something inexplicably wrong about (y/n)'s movements, something vaguely off, and even when Katara had corrected (y/n)'s stance, hand movements, balance, everything, more times than she could count, and from Aang and Sokka's perspective, everything seemed to be perfect - even then, the most (y/n) could manage was a tiny ripple in the surface of the ocean - so small it was debatable it hadn't been caused by the wind.
However, this didn't trouble (y/n). Of course fire was easy: Iroh had trained her. Of course air was easy: she was born an Air Nomad. But water? Well, it wasn't coming now, but it would in time. She knew from her books that earth was the element she'd eventually struggle with the most, after all. With that in mind, she never got discouraged when it came to waterbending practice, and tried to copy Katara's movements and flow as much as possible, no matter how much she fell behind Aang.
The evenings after waterbending sessions were always the nicest, anyway. Aang would blow them all dry, and then they'd sit on deck, eating dinner and gazing off into the night, excited whispers pointing out constellations, sipping tea until Sokka's jokes made them laugh so hard they spat it out. The ocean breeze was cool against their skin, but the blankets covering their legs were soft and warm, and the gentle rocking of the ship would nearly put them to sleep until someone came to their senses and dragged the rest of the group to their cabins. It was nights like these that really made (y/n)'s new surroundings seem like home.
Nights on Appa were different. The same gusts of wind brought goosebumps to their bodies, the same tea, the same blankets warmed them up in the chill of the night, but, as rivers, forests, and villages the size of pinpricks rushed past them, sleep was the last thing on anyone's minds. They didn't look to the stars those nights, though they felt so close they were practically an arm's reach away; instead, their eyes were trained on a different kind of light - the kind that streamed from shipyards and shacks and shop windows. At first, right after dinner, their conversation would be loud and full of laughter, but then the sky would turn dark and the moon would fade back into existence. Sokka would always look straight down when that happened, too close to the sky to ignore the memories like he did in the ocean, and so his witty remarks would cease, and the conversation would die down until everyone woke up the next day, sun high and beating down on them with the hot rays of noon.
It was a strange time, after the battle. For (y/n), though she thought she knew enough about the realities of war before, it was as if a veil had been lifted from her eyes. It was one thing to hear about it from others, another to witness fragments of people's destroyed lives, but to actually see a real battle with hundreds of warships, with real armies and real deaths? That was on a whole other level. Aang, Sokka and Katara were more familiar with this by now, but even they were shaken up, and, though the Northern Water Tribe had won a decisive victory, their joy was not untainted by feelings of sadness and loss. Sokka had lost Yue... Katara had almost lost Aang, and he'd almost lost her too. It had mostly ended well, but it was still a lot to take in, and they all just wanted to get to Omashu as soon as possible so they'd have something else to think about. So, when Sokka finally spotted their destination, having for once woken up earlier than the others in the morning, everyone was understandably relieved.
"There it is!" he shouted, and the others shot up immediately, all traces of drowsiness disappearing from their minds. It wasn't quite Omashu, but it was close enough, and as Appa descended towards the military base where Master Pakku had instructed them to go, everyone was filled with relief.
(y/n) stared as the buildings got bigger below her, as vague people-shaped blobs began to appear scattered in-between, and then, a minute later, she could make out their faces, and their voices were close enough to reach her ears despite the roar of the wind. Appa's feet touched the ground, and (y/n) rubbed the sleep from her eyes and dismounted. It felt good to finally be back on solid ground.
General Fong, accompanied by several dozens of soldiers, was already waiting for them.
"Welcome, Avatar Aang!" he said, while everyone was still stretching after the long ride. "I am General Fong, and welcome, to all of you great heroes! Appa, Momo, brave Sokka! The mighty Katara..." he stopped suddenly, trailing off as he saw the latest addition to Team Avatar. He didn't know that a fourth person would be arriving, and, to be honest, he didn't really know who she was.
"(y/n). Just (y/n) is fine."
"And (y/n)! We are so pleased to have you all here!"
The colorful sparks of fireworks erupted in the sky, loud bangs and beautiful lights making everyone forget the awkwardness of the past few seconds.
"Not bad, not bad", remarked Sokka, and then they were all escorted to a discussion room inside the base. All pleasantries aside, General Fong sat down, and the real conversation began.
"Avatar Aang, we were all amazed at the stories of how you singlehandedly wiped out an entire Fire Navy fleet at the North Pole. I can't imagine what it feels like to wield such devastating power. It's an awesome responsibility."
"I try not to think about it too much," he said.
"Avatar, you're ready to face the Fire Lord now."
"What?" the casual smile on Aang's face immediately turned into shock. "No I'm not!"
"Aang still needs to master all four elements," reasoned Katara.
"Why? With the kind of power he possesses, power enough to destroy hundreds of battle ships in a matter of minutes, he could defeat the Fire Lord now!"
"But sir, the thing is, Aang can only do those things when he's in the Avatar State."
"See," began Aang, "It's this special state where -"
"I'm well aware! Your eyes and tattoos glow and you're ale to summon unbelievable power. Without you, we'd be slaughtered before we even reach the shores. But with you leading the way, as the ultimate weapon, we could cut a swath right through to the heart of the Fire Nation."
Aang looked on doubtfully as Fong pointed at the large map spread out in front of him. "Right, but, I don't know how to get in or out of the Avatar State, much less what to do once I'm there."
"So, it's decided then," said Fong. "I'll help you figure out how to get into the Avatar State and then you'll face your destiny"
"No, nothing's decided." Katara stood up angrily. "We already have a plan. Aang's pursuing his destiny his way."
"Well, while you take your time learning the elements, the war goes on. May I show you something?"
He led Aang to a window, and, though (y/n) couldn't see from the other side of the room, his words explained everything. "That's the infirmary, and those soldiers are the lucky ones. They came back. Every day, the Fire Nation takes lives. People are dying, Aang! You could end it, now. Think about it."
Aang averted his eyes. He already felt responsible enough for running away all those years ago, for letting the war break out while he was frozen in an iceberg. And now, he was awake, but the war was still going on, and seeing all those people out there, injured and suffering and dying because he still wasn't doing anything... It was all too much. He couldn't stand by and do nothing, not again.
"I'll think about it," he said, but in his mind, the decision was already made.
As the four of them left the room and were led away to lunch, (y/n)'s mind raced with thoughts. What General Fong had said about Aang at the North Pole... She'd always assumed that the battle was mainly won by the tribe itself, waterbenders finally pushing back against Zhao's troops under the wise leadership of Chief Arnook. She knew Aang had made a difference of course, but to think he did this much? She hadn't seen Aang at all after she was dropped off with Zuko that night, and, though she'd heard her friends talk about the victory, Aang had been too humble to mention he'd wiped out the whole entire fleet. By himself. And if all it took for Aang to access such incredible power was entering the Avatar State... Well then, in (y/n)'s mind, there was no other option.
Fong had been right: people were fighting every day, each person dead on the battlefield a sacrifice to their nation's independence, to the right to live a life of freedom and peace, the right for their people to choose their own destiny, regardless of what the Fire Nation wanted. That country had done enough, thought (y/n), tens of thousands of lives already lost, still more destroyed, all because of their heartless imperialism, their disgusting idea of national superiority... As if the water, earth and air that ran through the blood of other nations made it any more deserving of being spilled.
No, she thought, all of this couldn't go on. Aang should master the Avatar State, and then all these horrors of war would be over.
_________________________
Zuko sat on the ground, finally having found a village after three weeks of floating in the ocean. By all means, he should have been happy, or at least relieved that he could finally eat some proper food, change into clean and comfortable clothes, drink water that didn't make his throat burn from the salt... But there was no happiness for him without the Avatar, and, as usual, he'd managed to mess everything up. Aang had been so close, tied up and in a cave, and they were out in the middle of nowhere, raging blizzard covering his tracks. That night was supposed to have been his moment... But, of course, everything had gone wrong and they were discovered, and Katara defeated him without breaking a sweat, and then Zhao had showed up before he'd managed to slip away from (y/n). The end result was, he'd failed again, just like at the South Pole, just like on Kyoshi Island, just like all the other times where the Avatar had been so, so close, but still managed to escape. He'd failed. Just like in that war meeting three years ago, when he was banished. And back then, the consequences had been disastrous.
Three years ago.... The Agni Kai...
It felt like it was yesterday.
He'd been so confident the night before the duel, so certain that the old General he'd spoken out against was no match for him. Even as he entered the designated room, eyes of hundreds of people trained on his fragile, thirteen year old self, he hadn't allowed his confidence to falter. And then... the opponent was revealed, and it had been his own father.
The rest was a blur.
He remembered himself begging, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. His voice coming out small and shaky, his father's footsteps: decisive, heavy, beating against the floor like a drum. His pleas, his apologies, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. The light... And for a second, he remembered, neither eye was able to see, and all he knew was the pain was excruciating, and he couldn't hear anything, couldn't feel the floor he knelt on, whole world vanishing into nothing and all that was left was the pain.
The pain didn't subside, but his other senses returned anyway, gradually, one by one. He opened his right eye, and the world swam into focus, and the room was now dark but that was good, and the eye stung less with no light. He felt his legs on the ground, and then his arms, and he realised he'd fallen over. Then, the murmur of voices sounded in the distance, which was fine at first, but then it got louder and louder until every twitch, every shuffle, every whispered word rang like clashing, clanging bells in his ears, and then he stumbled to his feet and he had to get out. And his legs refused to move at first, first numb, then heavy, then paralyzed, and then he was by the door and it was gone and he was running, misery and muscle memory carrying him to his room, where he collapsed onto the bed and all he could think about was the pain. Of course, it burned, but it was more than that: an intense, scraping feeling, being stabbed by thousands of needles at once, salt and lemon in a wound, skin being torn off to the bone with a rusty fork. It felt like knives, fresh blood, the color red transforming into white. And amongst it all, the smell of burning flesh pervading everything, even that old cushion he'd kept that smelled like his mother.
He didn't want to look in the mirror, but he knew eventually that he'd have to, and so, slowly, he inched out of his bed and his shaking legs brought him to the bathroom. His other eye widened to twice his size when he saw it, because it was bad. The left side of his face was red, covered with blisters, oozing some strange liquid that would hurt too much to wipe off. The right side of his face was wet too, but here, the liquid was unmistakably tears. He scowled at his reflection, mentally yelling at himself to stop. He had already shown shameful weakness. As well as an idiot and a disgrace and a failure, he wasn't a crybaby. He wasn't. And yet, the tears kept flowing.
Years of firebending lessons had taught him that, in the case of a training accident, he should make a beeline for the nearest bathroom and run the injury under cold water. He hadn't remembered that at first, but now the thoughts came back to him. There was cold water right there, if he would just let it flow onto his face... but no. He couldn't do that. This burn was his punishment, discipline his father had been forced to give him because his stupid self couldn't keep his mouth shut and show respect, and any attempts to ease the pain would go his father's message. The water was cool, and clear, and welcoming and inviting and he needed it, and anyway, he was thirsty and his head was swimming with dehydration - but touching the water would be shameful and weak and he couldn't be weak; his father had rightfully punished him and he had to bear the burden. And so, he left the water flowing and returned to his room.
It came to him that he was banished, and that meant he had to leave. That meant he had to pack his bags, and he had to start now. Technically, the words of his father only just coming back to him - a quiet, distant echo drowned out by his scream - he'd screamed, shown weakness, he realised, how shameful - technically, he had tomorrow to pack. But that didn't matter. He couldn't stay here any longer. He took a bag, tossed clothes, shoes, books, toys, everything he saw into it - and then he emptied it out and started over, this time bringing only the bare necessities. As he was nearly finished, his vision fell on a razor. That's right, he thought, his hair.
Again, he stood in front of the bathroom mirror. He knew well that it was customary for losers of an Agni Kai to shave parts of their head to symbolize humility from their defeat. As a child, he'd secretly felt bad for them, their shame exposed for the world to see. Not anymore. He deserved it, and so did the rest of them. And so, his hair fell into the basin, hesitant hands clutching the razor until only the topknot remained, trying his hardest not to touch his face.
When he was almost finished, he heard the bathroom door burst open, and he looked up as Iroh's face appeared in the mirror. His face was flushed, and he was out of breath, and his eyes were filled with concern. Their eyes found each other in the clear glass, and even then, Zuko couldn't bear to meet Iroh's gaze. There was pity in it, no doubt, and he couldn't bear to see that. Pity was reserved for people who'd had something unfair and tragic happen to them, like Lu Ten, or Iroh himself, or Mother. But him? He was the cause of his own suffering, and he didn't deserve any looks but cold glances, any words but "I told you so." He didn't deserve care, or support, and most definitely not pity.
At least Iroh hadn't spoken back then, tried to hide his shock and fear and sympathy, tried to stop his mouth from hanging open and his eyes from filling with tears. He knew that Zuko needed his wound cleaned, first of all, and then some water that wasn't too cold, and a good, long drink. And he needed bandages, too, and looks that expressed anything other than the emotions he was feeling right now. And so, he pushed it down, and Zuko didn't protest as Iroh worked tirelessly to treat the burn that they both already knew would leave a huge, lifelong scar.
The next day, when dawn was only just breaking on the horizon, they both set off, and the pain of Zuko's burn could be rivaled by nothing except the knowledge that his own father considered him a failure, and that his father was right.
"I see. It's the anniversary, isn't it?"
Iroh's words broke him out of his memories. Evidently, Uncle had finished his massage.
"Three years ago today, I was banished. I lost it all." He looked up at Iroh, the urge to avoid his uncle's gaze having passed years ago. "I want it back. I want the Avatar, I want my honor, my throne. I want my father not to think I'm worthless."
"I'm sure he doesn't," comforted Iroh. "Why would he banish you if he didn't care?"
Zuko scowled, getting up and beginning to walk away. Somehow, that thought was even worse.
_________________________
(y/n) was trying her hardest to fall asleep, and so was the rest of the group, but their recent habit of late nights and later mornings weren't exactly helping. She opened her eyes, and looked around, only to realize Aang was gone. But, before she could wonder where on earth he was, and most importantly, how he'd disappeared without anyone noticing, the door swung open and Aang was there.
"I told the general I'd help him by going into the Avatar State."
"That's great, Aang! -" started (y/n), but Katara shot her a look so dirty that she couldn't say another word out of shock.
"Aang, no! This is not the right way!"
"Why not?" asked Sokka. "Remember when he took out the Fire Navy? He was incredible!"
"There's a right way to do this. Practice, study, and discipline!"
"Or just glow it up and stop that Fire Lord!" joked Sokka.
"But, seriously." Recovering from her momentary paralysis, (y/n) rejoined the conversation. "Katara, you were at the North Pole. You saw how people were dying. How everything was being destroyed. And Aang could stop all that, just by going into the Avatar State! Don't you see how many lives this will save?"
Katara rose from her bed in frustration. "If you three meat heads want to throw away everything we've worked for, fine, go ahead and glow it up! And (y/n)?" she said, pausing as she walked away, "I don't need you to tell me about death. My own mother was killed by the Fire Nation. Even so, I can understand that forcing Aang into the Avatar State is not the right way to do this."
"Katara, I'm just being realistic! I don't have time to do this the right way!" protested Aang, but it was useless. Katara was already gone.
_________________________
The following day, Zuko and Iroh were preparing to leave. The search for the Avatar had to continue, so they couldn't afford to linger in one place for too long. They were packing now, or at least they were supposed to be, but Iroh was completely absorbed in the shells laid out on the table in front of him.
"Look at these magnificent shells!" he exclaimed, picking up a conch. "I'll enjoy these keepsakes for years to come!"
Zuko frowned. His uncle really didn't seem to be taking this too seriously.
"We don't need any more useless things! You forget, we have to carry everything ourselves now!"
It was true; their ship was gone. Zuko had no idea how he was going to find the Avatar on foot, but if there was one thing he knew for certain, it was that the less he had to carry, the better. At least Iroh was with him, even if the crew was gone, but at this rate... His uncle was proving himself to be less a help, and more a hindrance. If only there was some other way out of this situation... And then, a voice came from the dark corners of the room that Zuko hadn't heard in years, and, unwillingly, he felt shivers down his spine.
"Hello, brother. Uncle," said Azula, her voice calm and calculated as ever. How had she found them? And, more importantly - what did she want?
"What are you doing here?"
She held up a shell in her hand, unfazed by Zuko's angry tone as he asked the question.
"In my country, we exchange a pleasant hello before asking questions." She rose and walked towards the pair, and Zuko simmered quietly in his spot. My country, she'd said. Had she forgotten it was his country too? And, on top of that: "Have you become uncivilized so soon, Zuzu?"
His childhood nickname. A reminder of simpler days, except when it came to his sister, nothing had ever been simple.
"Don't call me that!" he shouted, already knowing that Azula wouldn't listen.
"To what do we owe this honor?"
"Hmmm... must be a family trait. Both of you so quick to get to the point." The shell she was holding crumbled between her fingers, and a look of anger flashed through Iroh's eyes. Even so, Azula quickly put all formalities aside. "I've come with a message from home. Father's changed his mind. Family is suddenly very important to him. He's heard rumors of plans to overthrow him, treacherous plots. Family are the only ones you can really trust." She paused. "Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home."
Zuko stopped dead in his tracks. Had Azula really said that...? His father wanted him back? No way; it was too good to be true. And yet, he wanted to believe it, and, for once, he found sincerity in Azula's voice, notes of kindness and gentle understanding he'd last heard when she was five, when she was still too young for their father to really pay attention to her. Their father... and why else would Azula have come all this way? - he reasoned, - why else would she be telling him this? It's not like she had anything to gain by bringing him to the Fire Nation....
"Did you hear me?" said Azula, clearly annoyed to be met with silence. "You should be happy. Excited. Grateful. I just gave you great news."
"I'm sure your brother simply needs a moment," said Iroh, and he was right. Azula, of course, didn't want his opinion. She'd never liked him, thought Zuko, not since he'd given her that doll on her sixth birthday party. She'd stared at it, then set it on fire, and it burned brighter than the candles on her cake, and only then had Father looked at her with approval, his smile wider than anything he'd ever offered to Zuko. Ever since then, she hadn't been the same.
"I still haven't heard my thank you." Azula turned to Zuko now, still annoyed, still not realising that this wasn't the kind of news you just dropped on someone out of the blue and expected them to be fine. "I'm not a messenger. I didn't have to come all this way."
"Father regrets? He... wants me back?"
Hearing the words come from his mouth surprised him even more. Could it really, honestly be true? Life had always been so hard on him, had it finally decided to turn his luck around? Did Father really regret it? He looked at Azula, and her face softened.
"I can see you need time to take this in. I'll come to call on you tomorrow. Good evening."
No. She wasn't lying. Her voice was too caring, too sympathetic for that. And, though his mind had really been made up from the beginning, he now made the conscious choice to trust his sister. Because, despite his failures, his father did love him. He regretted his actions, he missed his son, he wanted him back. He smiled, and the air seemed suddenly to him to be fresher, the sky bluer and the sun brighter. His banishment was over. He was going home.
_________________________
(y/n) lay down in her bed after yet another eventful day. They'd tried so many things today to try and bring on the Avatar State, from chi-enhancing tea (that had only made Aang zoom around on his air scooter like a toddler after too much desert), to dressing Aang up in the traditional clothes of all four nations (which had ended in everyone being thoroughly covered in mud). None of it had worked, and it was all starting to look like a hopeless situation. And yet, thought (y/n), tossing around in her bed that seemed too warm for her, they couldn't give up hope. The Avatar State had to be triggered by something, she reasoned. Maybe Roku would know? But then again, contacting him was an issue... She sighed. She couldn't chicken out when so much was at stake. If Aang didn't figure out the Avatar State in another day, she decided, she would take matters into her own hands and knock herself out, somehow. But for now... Well, hopefully one of Fong's methods would prove successful, and it wouldn't have to come to that.
She sat up, still unable to fall asleep, and was about to leave the room for a bit of fresh air when Aang and Katara came in. As before, she hadn't realised either of them were gone. She quickly lay back down, not wanting to start a conversation at this hour. Especially not about the Avatar State.
She listened as they settled down onto their beds, the scuffle of their clothes and sheets a comforting background noise to her thoughts, and eventually, she calmed down and fell asleep.
_________________________
"We're going home!" exclaimed Zuko, packing his belongings as night fell. "After three long years, it's unbelievable!"
He hadn't felt this happy in a long time, and by now, having had the afternoon to think, he was past the point of doubt for Azula's words. The same could unfortunately not be said for his uncle.
"It is unbelievable," said Iroh, staring thoughtfully out of the window. "I have never known my brother to regret anything."
"Did you listen to Azula? Father's realized how important family is to him! He cares about me!"
Maybe his father didn't regret much, thought Zuko, but there was a first time for everything. Azula had been telling the truth. Ugh, why did his uncle always have to be so pessimistic?
Iroh turned to face Zuko, holding his arms out. "I care about you! And if Ozai wants you back, well, I think it may not be for the reasons you imagine."
"You don't know how my father feels about me," snapped Zuko, "You don't know anything!"
If his uncle really cared, he thought, why would he be trying to convince him that his own father didn't want him back? He didn't really care... he was just jealous. Yeah, that was it - it had to be.
"Zuko, I only meant that in our family, things are not always what they seem."
"I think you are exactly what you seem. A lazy, mistrustful, shallow old man who's always been jealous of his brother!"
Zuko walked away, leaving Iroh alone in the room, looking on sadly at his nephew's silhouette retreating into the night. Already, Zuko felt bad for his unkind words, but he wasn't going to come back and apologize now, not after what his uncle had said. If he was so intent on distrusting Azula, thought Zuko, - fine. He could stay here, in this tiny village in the middle of nowhere, living out a lazy life of tea and Pai Sho and massages. Meanwhile, Zuko would return to the Fire Nation, honor restored, relationship with his father mended. And if that happened, he'd miss his uncle, of course he would, but his father, his sister, his country... those came before anything else.
_________________________
In the middle of the night, (y/n) awoke, sitting up at the sound of Aang calling for Sokka.
"Huh?" Sokka responded, still half asleep.
"I don't think we should be trying to bring on the Avatar State," said Aang.
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"No." The protest left her mouth before she could stop it, though it wasn't like she wanted to remain silent in this situation. Still, her voice was louder than she'd intended it to be, and was met with the shuffling of blankets from the direction of Katara, who was still fighting to remain asleep.
"Why not?" murmured Sokka, rubbing his eyes and sitting up, "Aang's the Avatar. Who knows better than him?"
"Well, Sokka, I thought you at least knew better," she snapped.
"Whoa there (y/n), what's gotten into you? It's up to Aang to decide whether or not he wants to do it."
"Well, that doesn't mean he's making the right choice." She turned to Aang now, eyes a mixture of pleading and frustration. "You saw it yourself, yesterday. People are dying in this war, Aang, and they need your help. Fong was right - you can't wait around when so many lives are at stake!"
"I thought so too, (y/n)," said Aang, voice quiet with thought. "But this isn't the right way. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Don't make this any harder for me than it already is."
"Hard? For you?" She paused, suddenly aware of how horrible that came off. "Sorry, I mean... I guess it isn't an easy choice... But then, you're not on the front lines, Aang. You don't know what it's like, and neither do I, but it must be awful, to risk your life every day, to watch all your friends die, to watch village after village burn down as you're forced to retreat. It has to stop, and you're the only one who can make it happen."
"(y/n), you need to stop. You don't know what you're talking about." A new voice joined them, its icy determination ringing out amongst the others' whispers. They all looked up to see that their talking had awoken Katara. She continued: "I'm going to explain this one last time, once and for all, since some people just can't seem to get it. It's up to Aang. He's made the right choice. He will master the four elements, and then he'll fight the Fire Lord. There. That's final."
(y/n) groaned in frustration. It was Katara who didn't seem to get it, she thought. Didn't she see how urgent this was? Didn't anyone here understand anything?
"You all keep telling me this isn't the right way. Well then, pray tell, what is? Waiting around until Aang masters the elements? Um, hello! - Sozin's Comet is coming! We can't afford to waste all that time! But no, we're going to sit around and wait all this time because of... what exactly? Moral hang-ups?"
"Moral hang-ups? Moral hang-ups?" interrupted Katara, now fuming at (y/n)'s... heartlessness? Stupidity? She couldn't quite tell which one it was, but it was definitely some mixture of both. "Your friend has had nightmares every single night since the North Pole, nightmares of himself in the Avatar State! You have no right to talk since you haven't seen him when he's like that, but I have."
"Katara-"
"No, Aang, she needs to hear this. Can you even imagine the pain he's in, (y/n), every time he's like that? The desperation that pushes him to it, the guilt he feels afterwards, not knowing if he hurt someone? And you have the audacity to talk about it all as if it didn't matter, as if your friend didn't matter. I wonder, is he even your friend then?"
"Wh- what- yes!" sputtered (y/n). "But all it takes from him is one bad day, one Avatar State, and the Fire Lord is defeated for good! Because every day we sit around waiting, Fire Nation troops advance further and further into the Earth Kingdom! Are we really going to sit around and let that happen? Let them get away with it all?"
"(y/n), we wouldn't be sitting around, we'd be-" began Aang, but was swiftly interrupted.
"I see what this is all about." Katara said, voice lowering to a cold whisper. "Letting them get away with it. So it's all about revenge for you, huh?"
"What- no, this- it's..." (y/n) stopped. Was it about revenge? Had it been that, all along?
Not giving (y/n) any more time to think, Katara continued. "No wonder you're so quick to throw your friends under the bus. Friendship was never important to you, anyway. All you want is to get back at the people who hurt you, and Aang is just a tool to achieve that."
"No- that's- he's more than-"
"You know, (y/n), for all your talk about hating the Fire Nation... Right now, you're behaving just like one of them."
The room was dead silent, and (y/n) couldn't find anything to say to that. Of course, most of what Katara has said was just angry words she didn't mean, not really, and of course she did genuinely care about Aang, but... Revenge. That stuck with her - was that really all she had wanted? And, what if it was? - thought (y/n), tossing and turning in her bed until the birds began to sing in the distance, until the first rays of dawn filtered in through the curtains. What if it was revenge? What would be so wrong and terrible about that? Sure, it didn't sound like a particularly noble cause, but real life wasn't that black and white - not sunshine and rainbows and cute animal smiles. Her mind flashed back to the crimes of the Fire Nation: her people, herself, her parents. She had a right to be angry. So what if it was revenge? - she thought, finally at peace with herself as she drifted off. She felt completely justified.
_________________________
The sun shone brightly the next morning, making the ocean shimmer as the waves rolled gently in the breeze. Zuko looked down at the bay where Azula's ship was docked, his mind filling with thoughts of his country. He'd see it all again... just a few days on the ship, and he'd be there, and everything in his life was going well, for once. Still, it felt like something was missing. He looked away, adjusting his bag and continued down the long staircase that stood between him and his ticket to the Fire Nation. A few seconds later, quick footsteps sounded in the distance.
"Wait," shouted Iroh, running down the stairs towards his nephew, "Don't leave without me!"
Zuko smiled, setting down his bags, and turned to face Iroh. "Uncle! You've changed your mind!" he exclaimed, and his smile was one of genuine happiness, for once, and the 'something missing' feeling was gone.
"Family sticks together, right?" said Iroh, laying a hand on Zuko's shoulder. Just like Father used to, thought Zuko, remembering the days of his childhood. His father hadn't been the Fire Lord back then, hadn't been bogged down with so many responsibilities, and they'd spent more time together as a family. Well, he thought, he wouldn't have to rely on memories alone anymore. He was going to see his father again, and everything would be back to how it was back then; back to normal. His face lit up at the thought, and he looked once again at Iroh, happy to have his uncle returning with him. He smiled.
"We're finally going home!"
_________________________
"The thing is, I don't think we'll ever be able to trigger it on purpose. So I guess that's it."
Aang had just finished explaining the previous night's decision to Fong, and, while Sokka looked on contentedly, (y/n) was still disappointed. She'd calmed down after a bit of sleep, and she supposed Katara had had a point last night, but, in (y/n)'s mind, going into the Avatar State was still worth the sacrifice. She only wished she'd contacted Roku sooner... but no, now Aang was set on defeating the Fire Lord the "traditional" way, and nothing more could be done.
"You sure I can't change your mind?" asked Fong. (y/n) sighed. Of course he couldn't.
"I'm sure," confirmed Aang. "I can only reach the Avatar State when I'm in genuine danger."
"I see. I was afraid you'd say that."
And then, before (y/n) knew it, the whole desk Fong had just been standing behind was flying at Aang, and he was sent soaring across the room. What on earth was going on - weren't these people meant to be friendly?
"Aang!" yelled Sokka, rushing to his aid, but two soldiers restrained him, and Aang, closely followed by the desk, flew out of the window.
As more soldiers moved to hold (y/n) back, she stood still, the suddenness of it all paralyzing her. It still didn't line up in her head - Master Pakku had instructed them to come here, and surely he wouldn't have wanted any harm to come to the Avatar? So maybe - were these all Fire Nation spies? No. They were all earthbenders - impossible. Then what?
"Men! Attack the Avatar!" shouted Fong, looking down at Aang from the hole in the wall the desk had created, and then he jumped down. Well, whatever was going on, (y/n) had to step in. Flames heated up on her hands, causing the soldiers to release her as they jumped back in pain - no serious burns, just a little stung.
"Sokka!" she shouted, running towards him. He didn't need her help. His feet crashed into the earthbenders, and they both yelped and fell to the ground, and then, Sokka was free.
As both of them started running down the stairs to Aang, (y/n) once again heard the boom of General Fong's voice. It was sly now, calculating, completely devoid of aggression.
"I believe we're about to get results."
And then, (y/n) knew what was happening. Fong wasn't a traitor, and Aang wasn't in any real danger. All of this was just a ploy, a manipulation to make Aang believe he was in danger - then, and only then, would he finally enter the Avatar State. Though (y/n) followed Sokka down the stairs, her intention was no longer to join the fighting. She'd just watch, and hope that this method would work, at least. It was harsh, that was true, and she wasn't sure if she approved of something this radical... But at least nobody was really getting hurt, right?
_________________________
They'd finally made their way down the stairs and were about to board the ship. Azula stood quietly, waiting for them. Royal Procession guards stood on either side of the walkway as they approached the ship, and Zuko smiled in excitement. It was finally happening. Three years of aimless searching, constant failures, bitter cold and stale food had finally come to an end, and he was about to set sail for the Fire Nation. His sister smiled back at him, her face a sincere expression of love and care for the first time in years.
"Brother! Uncle! Welcome!"
She greeted them kindly, as if she too had missed them for all that time they'd spent away. Zuko had never known her to miss anyone, not even Mother, but now... She'd changed as well, then, he thought, changed for the better. The memories of his childhood came back for a brief second: messing around with the turtle-ducks, laughing at Lu Ten's jokes, holidays on Ember Island. That was the life he was about to return to... How he'd missed it. How he'd missed all of it.
"Are we ready to depart, Your Highness?" asked the captain. Zuko was ready. So, so ready.
"Set out course for home, Captain."
"Home..."
How good it felt to call the Fire Nation home again. How good it felt to finally feel like he had a home. He followed the Captain up the ramp, Iroh by his side, walking slowly, taking it all in.
"You heard the princess!" said the Captain. "Raise the anchors!" - They were about to depart. His heart beat fast in his chest, it was happening, finally happening... "We're taking the prisoners home!"
And then, his heart stopped. What. Prisoners?
What -
No.
No, no, no, it had to be a slip up. After all, this ship was mainly used to transport prisoners, right? That's right, that's all it was - it had to be. He looked up at Azula for confirmation, expecting her to laugh it off, to do something, anything but this. Her face froze in surprise. Then, fury crept into her features, and all at once he knew. It had all been a trick. They were nothing but prisoners.
His father didn't want him back.
He didn't hear the nervous whimpers of the Captain as he rushed forward at Azula, throwing anyone in his way into the ocean.
"You lied to me!" he yelled, but Azula's smug, confident smile didn't falter.
"Like I've never done that before."
She walked away, turning her back on him, like she'd always done and how could she do that to him, how dare she! Two guards moved to the place where she'd just been, shooting fire blasts at Zuko, but that didn't matter. He wasn't going to waste his time messing around with them. He deflected their attacks with ease, and charged onto the ship.
He took out those guards with his own firebending a few seconds later. They hit the water, but Zuko was too far gone to hear the splashes, to hear Iroh calling for him to leave. Azula was such a short distance away, and her back was turned, and this was a perfect opportunity. His fists lighting up with fire, he charged at Azula, believing for a second that he could actually land a hit - but of course, he couldn't, and she effortlessly dodged the blow, and the next, and the next. How could she have lied to him like that! There was that smirk again, that sick, depraved smirk, and she kept avoiding all his attacks, and he could do nothing about it. She'd always been better than him.
"Born lucky"
...
"Lucky to be born."
His father's words echoed in his mind, over and over again. Azula had always been better than him at firebending, at everything. She'd reached such heights, her life a story of achievement after achievement - perfect mastery of her element, bending her fire to be blue. And now, she stood, looking down at his pathetic figure from the peak of her success, taunting him, lying to him, laughing at him, as if his pain was nothing but a cheap amusement.
Did she even realize the meaning of what she'd said? - thought Zuko, still attacking insistently, not allowing himself to accept that his blows were futile. If he was to be considered a prisoner now - what did that mean? It could only mean one thing. It meant that Father had given up on him. But no - he wouldn't, couldn't, think that, and so he pushed the thought from his mind. This was all Azula's doing. Just her botched attempts at a prank, at sibling rivalry, or maybe she legitimately did want him to suffer - he didn't know, and it didn't matter. All that mattered was this: The plan was entirely Azula's, and Father had nothing to do with it.
Meanwhile, Azula was still dodging, twisting and turning tirelessly, as if she didn't even consider him worthy enough to attack. Why couldn't he land a single hit? Iroh had been training him for three whole years on his journey, and he was older than Azula, anyway, so why did flame after flame shoot right past her, heating up the space where she'd just been less than a second ago, but nothing more? Not a single one of her hairs was singed, and her balance was impeccable as her body moved into all sorts of positions to avoid the fire. But then - finally! - he did something right, and Azula could no longer evade him! - but before he could so much as heat up her clothes, she pushed him away. He stood there, breathless, as Azula glared at him, that same smirk never having left her lips. She spoke, and her voice was sharp and threatening, all traces of its former kindness having left it as quickly as they had come.
"You know, Father blames Uncle for the loss of the North Pole." - What? That hadn't been Uncle's fault in the slightest, it was all that stupid, conceited Zhao! - but Azula continued before he could protest - "And he considers you a miserable failure for not finding the Avatar! Why would he want you back home, except to lock you up where you can no longer embarrass him?"
Zuko's face fell.
No.
No.
No way.
Her words were impossible, it couldn't be! - it was all her doing, all of it! The mantra he'd repeated to himself since the early years of his childhood came back to him: Azula always lies, Azula always lies, Azula always lies! And Iroh had been lying last night too, when he'd said Father never regretted anything, and (y/n), back then on the ship, she'd been lying too, and his father did love him, and they'd all been lying! They were all liars - all of them - and so he jumped back into his stance and the flames blazed once more at his fingers.
He leapt into the air, foot sending a fire blast at Azula- that should show her not to lie to him! - but she jumped away and landed safely on the deck, and the fire once again missed her completely. She moved back into position, and he charged, aiming more and more blows her way, but she twisted away from every single one of them. And then - her fingernails scraped his forehead as he was turned away, mid-spin for an attack, and he fell back a bit, then swiftly regained his balance. It didn't hurt at all. He continued to fight.
They fought their way up the staircase to the central control area of the ship, both sides sticking to the same techniques as before: Zuko attacking somewhat aimlessly, no plan or strategy in mind, fueled by pure anger, denial and pain; Azula not attacking at all, thinking, waiting. The right moment to strike hadn't presented itself yet, and she was above some silly brawl. And then - she reached the top of the stairs and Zuko was a bit below her - now, the time was right. He brought his fist up to hit her with his flames, and, before he knew what had happened, she was holding onto his arm, and he couldn't move.
Time stopped. The siblings stood still on top of the stairs, silently staring at each other. For the first time since the words had slipped from the Captain's mouth, Zuko got a good look at Azula's face, and now, he saw it fully: her eyebrows arched and drawn together in cold malice, her mouth no longer a smirk, but a calculated smile, the dangerous glimmer in her eyes.
That's how he knew. For once, her face was too still and triumphant for it to all have been a lie.
She had the upper hand, and she was better, stronger, more powerful than him, and he was an idiot, a lost cause, and a failure, and then blue flames shot from Azula's hands and he was falling down the stairs.
The landing was rough, and his vision blurred with the impact. As the world swam into focus, he saw Azula moving above him, the air around her crackling with a bright white light. What was that? - he thought, but then again, did he care? Not really. Not now that he knew, now that he'd finally opened his eyes to the one truth he'd tried his best to stop himself believing. His father didn't regret anything; he wanted to imprison him; he considered him a failure. Azula's hands were moving in a strange circular motion, and then her hand aimed at him, two fingers outstretched for precision, and he couldn't move, paralyzed by shock and powerlessness and despair.
He didn't know what would have happened if it wasn't for Iroh. At the last minute, just as the lightning blast was about to leave Azula's fingers, he'd grabbed her. The sky flashed white for a few seconds, and then a crashing boom rang out in the quiet stillness of the bay, and the lightning struck a cliff, somewhere off into the distance. Before she knew it, Azula was falling into the water, Iroh having pushed her off the ship, taking advantage of her momentary surprise at his redirection technique. Zuko stared at it all, and then - "Run!" cried Iroh - and so he jumped up and his legs carried him away from the ship, away from the soldiers, from his sister, from all his shattered hopes - and it wasn't that he was scared of them, or escaping for his own survival - he was running for a different reason. He ran more for his uncle's sake than his own.
_________________________
"I'm not your enemy! I won't fight you!"
(y/n) heard Aang's shouts amongst all the smashing rocks outside, reluctantly impressed at his desperate attempts to keep the peace. Maybe it was for the best that he didn't fight back- the earthbenders had no doubt been instructed to keep the Avatar safe, and so Aang wasn't in real danger, anyway. Though - (y/n) finally made her way out of the building and fully saw what was happening - it all didn't seem like the safe, controlled environment she'd initially thought it would be. Currently, Aang was trapped inside the holes of two earth coins, which were rolling quickly away, and then they were broken by an earthbender and crumbled to bits. His landing was soft with the help of his airbending, so he rose, unharmed, and faced the rest of the soldiers. He didn't have time to make another plea for peace. More earth coins were sent his way, one above and one below, and then two more from opposite sides of the arena. (y/n) found her breath caught in her throat - would they crush him? - but then, no, of course they wouldn't: this was all just a trick, she reminded herself, and indeed, Aang jumped through the holes just in time as all four of the attacks collided and fell to the ground.
The fighting continued for another few minutes. Aang was still refusing to fight, no matter how hard Fong's men tried to attack him. In Aang's words, they couldn't fight forever, and all he could do was to keep running away until they tired themselves out. Still... It was far more likely to go the other way, thought (y/n). He was, after all, outnumbered. As the time went on, and attack after attack flew at Aang, (y/n) liked this less and less. Couldn't Fong have tried some more peaceful options - more brews and cultural rituals and funny surprises? And yet... (y/n) knew that wouldn't have worked. It seemed that the Avatar State was Aang's equivalent of the fight or flight response, and therefore a genuine, substantial threat was required for it to activate. But was this right? (y/n) wanted to push the thought aside, remembering the destruction she'd seen at the North Pole, but... Aang was her friend. She did feel a little bad seeing him go through this. For a brief moment, she wondered if she should step in - but no - she reminded herself - there was no need - they weren't really going to hurt him.
Meanwhile, Katara was lying down in their bedroom, listening to the commotion outside. She'd told Aang she wouldn't stick around the next day to see him put himself through the torment of the Avatar State, and she'd been true to her word. Still, the noises outside worried her - they didn't sound anything like the harmless things they'd tried the day before.
"I wonder what crazy thing they're trying to do now," she told Momo, who slept on a pillow beside her. "Maybe we should just make sure Aang's okay."
Her feelings of fear and urgency only increased as she ran down the stairs, the noises getting louder every step of the way. What on earth were they doing out there? And then, at the base of the stairway, she met Sokka, who filled her in on what was really going on.
"The General's gone crazy! He's trying to force Aang into the Avatar State!" he shouted, and without further ado, Katara rushed outside.
(y/n) looked on as Sokka and Katara joined the fight. Sokka knocked out a soldier with his boomerang, and Katara water-whipped the head off a spear. She felt bad all of a sudden - and again, she contemplated joining them... Maybe Fong somehow had a way to guarantee Aang's safety, but now that Sokka and Katara were mixed in, could he really keep all three of them from harm? As she kept watching the fight, not sure whether to make a move, she found her answer: an evident no. At least, Sokka had managed to escape on an ostrich horse, and Aang up a stairway, but Katara was now alone in the arena. By all means, Fong shouldn't have touched her - he was only meant to be fighting Aang... Even so, earth coins rolled at Katara, and this definitely wasn't right anymore, but just as (y/n) finally made the decision to jump in to help, they stopped. Fong looked at Aang and spoke.
"Maybe you can avoid me... But she can't."
The soldiers knew what to do. Earth coins moved in a triangular formation around Katara, and though she tried to defend herself by sending a water whip at Fong, his dust pillars turned it to mud. And then - (y/n) couldn't believe it - what was happening? - surely Fong wasn't actually going to go through with this? - but it was real, and Katara was sinking knee-deep down into the ground.
"I can't move!"
It was true. She couldn't. (y/n) froze as she saw Katara's futile attempts to get out, the panic in her voice causing Aang to jump down from the stairs.
"Don't hurt her!"
Immediately, he sent a gust of wind at Fong. The attack did nothing - the air collided with an earth wall, and so Katara sank deeper into the ground.
Sokka was there too now, seeing it all happen from atop his ostrich horse, and he rode out towards his sister, voice filled with worry as he shouted "Katara! No!"
The feet of his animal sank into the earth, and he flew off the ostrich horse, slamming into the hole of an earth coin. Neither of them could do anything, and (y/n) knew she had to act. She had supported Fong's plan initially, but doing it this way? No, this had gone too far.
She rushed forward as Aang clutched desperately onto Fong's arm, pleading with him: "Stop this! You have to let her go!"
Fong didn't budge, and all he had to say was: "You could save her if you were in the Avatar State!"
(y/n) was close enough now, and she sent a blast of fire at the unsuspecting Fong. For a second, he froze, and then a wall was up, a wall that crashed into (y/n) and flung her aside as Fong shot her a brief glance of disgust, before turning back to Aang.
Tears formed around Aang's eyes as he pleaded for Katara's life. "I'm trying... I'm trying!" he begged, but it was no use.
"Aang, I'm sinking!" shouted Katara, her voice frantic as she twisted around again, now buried chest-deep in the ground.
(y/n) couldn't see them anymore, crawling out from under the rubble of the wall, but she could hear them, and it hit her how Aang's voice was breaking, how he was panicking, on the verge of tears. A horrifying thought flashed through her mind then, and she wanted to slap herself for not realizing it sooner. Aang didn't just think Katara would be hurt.
He thought she was going to die.
Her own memories came back to her, that horrible feeling as she looked upon the noose that day, her parents being led out of the building, their shaking and desperate gasps. How she'd felt back then, utterly lost and hopeless and afraid, something breaking inside her forever, that feeling of powerlessness as she stared at their struggling bodies, and there was nothing she could do but watch. And now...
Aang was feeling that exact same thing.
How has she not realized? She'd been an absolute idiot - she'd even pushed him to go ahead with this, guilt-tripped him, dismissed it all by thinking nobody would be hurt... And now, (y/n) didn't know what would happen to Katara, but even if nothing dangerous came of it... To put someone through that - Aang - a twelve year old child who was too nice even to attack Fong's soldiers in retaliation - to put him through the stress of thinking he was watching his best friend die, powerless to stop it... How truly despicable. He wasn't any better than any of the Fire Nation troops he claimed to be fighting against. With his sadistic attitude, ready to traumatize a twelve year old... he'd fit right in.
"I don't see glowing!" said Fong, and (y/n) could see now how the ground swallowed Katara up, right to her neck.
"Please!" she shouted - and, (y/n) thought, what if he was actually going to kill her? From her position across the arena, she released the most powerful attack she could, giving it her all - if only she could stop Fong now, before anything serious happened - and the fire almost reached him - but then, another wall blocked the way, and then the ground behind her moved forward and knocked her over, and her hands and feet were swallowed up and there was nothing more she could do. And Aang... he was on his knees now, full out begging.
"You don't need to do this!" he pleaded.
Fong would hear no more of it.
"Apparently, I do." His fist clenched, and then Katara was underground completely.
For that minute, the world froze. Anxiety levels crashing through the roof, (y/n) thought about Katara, about Aang, about what was going to happen now. Aang... she imagined the emotions he was going through - horrific feelings of loss - loss of the closest thing he had to family. He knelt above the place where Katara had just disappeared, eyes broken and filled with despair, and then -
His eyes and tattoos began to glow white, and he turned his head to Fong, who was smiling triumphantly at his apparent success.
"It worked! It worked!" he shouted.
The smile quickly disappeared from his face.
(y/n) knew that Aang was a master airbender, but the next minutes far surpassed anything that she'd ever seen before: Fong flying across the arena, Aang rising to the clouds on a vortex of air and dust, houses smashed to pieces as Aang crashed back down to the ground. Even when Fong brought Katara back from the earth, yelled that it was all a trick, Aang didn't stop. Not that he should have stopped, thought (y/n), eyes wide and paralyzed in awe as she watched Aang decimate the base - that really didn't make the General's actions any less wrong. Dust clouded her vision, and rubble fell onto her - though at least her hands were free now, so she could crawl out when everything was over. And Aang had stopped now - was it done? - but no, his eyes were still glowing, and a dome of air protected him from any attacks. Then, as soon as it had started, it was over, and Aang collapsed onto the ground.
Immediately, Katara ran over to hug him, and (y/n) followed. She had to apologize. What had she been thinking yesterday! - she hadn't been thinking, running purely on her emotions.
Before she'd made it to them, Fong's triumphant voice boomed through the arena: "Ha! Are you joking? That was almost perfect! We just have to find out a way to control you when you're like that."
Katara said what everyone was thinking at that minute: "You're out of your mind."
"I guess we'll figure it out on the way to the Fire Nation," he said, still not giving up, and then Sokka rode up behind him, and knocked him out. When he asked if anyone had a problem with that, none of the soldiers responded.
(y/n) finally made it to the center of the arena, and she didn't know what to say. It was all overwhelming, and there were so many thoughts she had about it all. She didn't know if her friends would even listen, and they would be fully within their right not to. Still, eventually, she spoke.
"Aang... I'm so, so sorry. The things I said yesterday were horrible and... I shouldn't have forced you into this. What just happened..." She paused, taking a breath, "I won't pretend to have been through the exact same thing, and it's not about me anyway, but I understand enough, and what you've just gone through is truly one of the worst things in the world. You didn't deserve to ever have this happen to you, and I was a terrible friend to think it was an acceptable price to pay... You made the right decision yesterday, and I'm so sorry for putting you under such pressure. I just - I guess I wasn't thinking last night..." She took a deep breath, finishing the apology: "I really hope you can forgive me."
For a few seconds, Aang said nothing, and (y/n) stood there, worried and unsure what to expect. Then, suddenly, Katara spoke.
"(y/n), you don't understand. That's not the problem - it's not that you weren't thinking. You were, but you were thinking about defeating the Fire Nation, and not about Aang. It's fine to want revenge against people who hurt you, but... those feelings should never, ever, come before the wellbeing of your friends."
"Katara's right," Sokka chimed in. "I'll hold my hands up and say that I was supportive of Fong's plan too at first, and," he looked at Aang, "I'm really sorry about that. But - (y/n), it's not that you were being overly emotional or whatever, you were being selfish."
(y/n) took a breath, and, after a bit of hesitation, she realized that they were right.
"I understand," she said, voice quiet and solemn, filled with regret, "I was being selfish... I said a lot of things I shouldn't have that were really hurtful and wrong. Aang - you're doing all you can, and you made the right choice in sticking with your plan to master the elements. None of what's happening is your fault, and it's completely alright to take your time. And Sokka... Katara... I'm sorry for what I said to you as well. I was being mean, and selfish, and that is no way to act around people you care about. So..." she paused, "I'm really, really sorry. I promise, I won't let it ever happen again."
"It's okay." said Aang, finally looking up at her. "It wasn't your fault, anyway. Fong was the one who attacked me, and you did try to help me, in the end..."
"I shouldn't have done what I did. Thank you so much for giving me another chance."
"It's okay from our side, too," said Katara, giving (y/n) a weak smile.
"Friends?" asked (y/n) hopefully.
"Friends." confirmed Aang.
They hugged it out, letting the hurt and frustration seep away into the dust, and then they were interrupted by a soldier.
"Do you still want an escort to Omashu?"
Katara rolled her eyes. "I think we're all set."
And so, they all got back onto Appa and flew off, heading towards Omashu at last.
_________________________
With each step of the way to the river, Azula's words sunk in harder and deeper, burning themselves into his mind.
"A miserable failure."
He'd known he was, all along, and he knew Father knew, so why now, why did it hurt so much?
"Why would he want you back home?"
She was right. Once a failure, always a failure - and back at the North Pole, he'd messed everything up again.
"Lock you up where you can no longer embarrass him"
He was an embarrassment to his father, and that's all he was. And now... now, he was a fugitive. (y/n) had been right. Iroh had been right. His father really didn't love him, because he hadn't done anything to deserve it.
There was no coming back to his country now. Not after this.
And there was no coming back to Father.
And now, without his parents, his sister, his country, anybody at all in this world who would care about him, someone whose presence felt like home... He was alone, and he had nobody, and all of it was his own fault.
His hand reached for the knife, and he looked at it for a minute, and then at the water, and then his eyes closed as the blade cut through his hair. He held onto it when it was off, refusing to let go - was this really what he had to do? Was there no other way? But no, there wasn't, because now, he was officially a fugitive and Azula had been telling the truth, and so he released his grip and let it go. He was thirteen again, and just like back then, he watched as his hair fell into the water, eyes glazed over with tears that didn't dare to fall as his hair disappeared, current carrying it away. With it floated away his hopes and happiness, and then it was gone, and all that was left was an empty hole where his feelings should have been. He stood next to Iroh on the riverbank for hours, staring at the water, looking for something that should have been there and no longer was until his legs felt numb, and he felt numb: sat there in the setting sun, without his home, his family, his honor; alone.
He'd lost everything.
(a/n): So I'm sorry I kept you all waiting. I was just going to plan season 2 and get back to writing, except then my plan somehow morphed into a deep ass character study, so now I have literal thousands of words worth of notes on Zuko's character arc in this season. Yay me:(. And then, this chapter ended up WAY longer than it had any right to be... All in all, a big mess. ANYWAYS,,,
Okay so first off, I didn't actually make the meme for the chapter, but like I found it and it fit too perfectly not to include? Idk who made it tho, sowwy uwu
Another thing: (y/n) got a bit #controversial in this chapter. Bear with her for a while, please. I'm not projecting all of my own social and political beliefs onto her - she herself is misguided about a few things, which will be addressed in time. Before that, though, I'm trying to hold her accountable for her mistakes - but without slipping too much into black and white morality. It's just - she's gotta do some personal growth as much as any other character would, yanno ;)? But ABSOLUTELY call me out in the comments if I'm making her too mean and unlikeable/being too hard on her/being overly preachy/etc.
Anywaysss, thanks for waiting, and as always, thanks for sticking with this story, y'all! <3