Previously On Blackcrusader...
Milkbar:(Talks To Cash Then Looks At The Reader)Hm?OH!Sorry If...Lovelace Isn't Around But Since I'm Well...WE Are The Only Ones Around Uh...(Clears Throat)I-In The Last Episode,Blackcrusader And The Death Squad Head For Point Lookout.
Duchess Gambit
Arach:Huh...It's Odd For A Ship Like This To Be Around A Wasteland Like This,Especially If It's In Irradiated Waters.
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:Well...We COULD Get Onto This Boat And Take It To Point Lookout But Then Again It Has Been Run Down For The Past Years Since They Went To Point Lookout.
8-Ball:But Likely The Duchess Gambit Is Useful For Many Occasions Such As Parties,Tours And Many More.
Dead Dan:Yeah...But Can It Carry All Of Us All The Way There?
8-Ball:Maybe,You'd Never Know Until You Try.
Cash Money:OH Here's The Best Part Where HE Meets The Most Insane Smiley In Death's Heart Asylum.
Tips:Dun Dun DUN! Jack.
Death's Heart Asylum
Jack(On The Phone):Yeah...Just Call Me Jack,But According To Your Middle Name You Can Call Me Jaquan.
Blackcrusader:...Where Are You?
Jack(On The Phone):I'm Down The Crimson Corridor,Just Head Down The Corridor And Ignore The Voices...It's Best That You Head Straight Down There.
Blackcrusader:Yeah But Why?(Sees A Walkie Talkie And Picks It Up)
Jack(On The Walkie Talkie):Trust Me,Once You Head Straight Down The Corridor We Will Meet Face To Face,Besides Would I Ever Lie To You?
Jack's Puppet(Scout Look-Alike):(Jack's Voice:Bad Things Will Be Heading Your Way...)
Jack's Doll(Milkbar Look-Alike):Be Warned...
Boss:And Here's Another Fact,Few Words...Skinz,Bloodhounds At The Calvert Mansion.
The Calvert Mansion
Harajuku Lulu:Stitch-Sama,Something Wrong?
Stitch:Yeah,A Bunch Of Roughnecks And Neo-Nazis Headed This Way.
Blackcrusader:...They're The Skinz And The Bloodhounds,A Bunch Of Mercenaries That Want BOTH Of Us Dead.
Boom-Boom:(Laughs Like A Locust Boomer And Performs A Ripped Execution)
Honey:Oh Hoo That Ain't The Worst Part,What's Worse Is The Gangs Going To Death City And Mr.Slink Comin Outta His Grave.
Buffy:Since The Show Blood Drive Has Officially Set It's Course.
Death City
SplatterHEAD:(Heavily Breathes)The Gangs,The Cults And The Armies Have Arrived!
Slave#55:(Runs Along With Everyone Else)
Innocentz#22:(Laughs)you better run pendejos!
Smiley#22:BONES!(Laughs)
Highwaymen Assaulter#12:(Screams While Shooting In The Air To Scare The Slaves With An AR-C)
Scab#5:BOO!(Laughs)
Skinz#48:(Throws A Molotov Cocktail At A Car And Watches It Explode)
Julius Slink:May The Games Begin...Just You Wait.
Junk Punk:(Laughs)...Let The Carnage Begin.(Pumps Gnasher Shotgun)
Grill:But You What Doesn't Make Sense?Them Going To An Amusement Park Where Only Adults Go,And It's Crawling With Mutants,Infected Hell...Even The Leatherman.
Buffy:But What's A Horde Without Anybody Like Jack Knife For Example.
Pepper:Yeah Jack May Have An Awesome Scar But The Voice Is What Caught My Attention.
Chef:Yeah.
Pineapple:But Ever Seen Someone Like Uhm...Anybody Do Something Like That Before?
Tips's Mom:Oh You Mean That One Part Where He And His Friends Faught Those Mean Creatures To Head On A Helicopter To Safety? Well...
Mizuryuu-Kei Land
Blackcrusader:(Sees An Entire Horde Running Towards Them)Here They Come,Open Fire!
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:Confirmed,Engaging!(Shoots An Enormous Horde With His M134"Ol'Painless"Vulcan)
Cash Money:Well...I Like The Part Where DarkStar Killed Them All One By One With His Own Demonic Powers.
Milk's Mom:But Th'Sad Part Is How Crusader Came To Be Back To Life As A Machine In The First Place.
Kagame's Lab
Kagame Onigashira:...Alright,Allow Me To Refresh Your Memory.Your Name Is...Well Was John Cooper,You Were Uh Was A Lovely Kid With A Lot Of Friends But Then You Were Or Was Killed By A Bunch Of Assassins After You've Attended To Kill Some Of Their Friends After You've Disobeyed The Teachers When They Said Evacuate The School.
Jack"The Butcher"Macmillan:(Takes The UMP45 From Blackcrusader And Rips His Right Arm Off,Looks At The Students And The Teachers)You See This?Consider THIS As An Example Of Why You Should Never Mess With US!(Nods To The Mercenaries)
Blackcrusader:(Grunts As The Mercenaries Cut Off His Limbs One By One Until Jack Cuts Off His Head And Everything Blackens Out)
Blackcrusader:WHY Was He Trying To KILL Me?
Kagame Onigashira:...Because He Works For Mr.Red...The Guy That Works In D.E.A.D.Incorporated...HE'S The One Who Killed You But Not Your Brother...He Is Safe.It Was Because He Saw You As A"No-Use"To Him...But As The Only Member Of The Last Remaining Scientists...I Was The Only One Who Saved Your Life By Putting You In A New Body...You Were The Only One Left...I'm Sorry.
Blackcrusader:...My Mom,My Sisters And My Brothers...My Family...They're Gone.
Chadsworth:Say Less...But He DID Get To Meet Somebody After Mr.Red Had Some Plans...
D.E.A.D. Inc Boardroom
Mr.Red:A Lot Of People Have Made A Name For Themselves And Themselves Alone.
Deadeye:Like...
Mr.Red:The Heroes AND The Villains For Example...Emperor Makoto's Severed Head Over There...One Of One For All's Acquaintances Over There...And That Girl's Mutated Dead Body Over There.In This World,It's Kill Or Be Killed
Suicide Josh:(Picks Up Brain Drain And Beats Him Up,Roars At Brain Drain)...
Brain Drain:(Grunts)...Subject...0-84...(Gets His Neck Snapped And Head Ripped Off)
Not..."Let's Make Peace And Get On With Our Lives"Sort Of Thing Cause In The End...Nobody Ever Gives At Least 12 Shits About Peace While Others Do.Saddest Thing Is...Vector Isn't Around,No One Cares About O'Hare And His"Air"And Shion Sonozaki Killed Herself Since She IS Crazy And All.But Who Even Cares About Anyone But Her AND Rena?Despite Her Being Armed With A Cleaver.
Boss:BUT Since Shion Is Dead-
Chef:Despite Her Being The OTHER Main Character In The Series.
Boss:It Doesn't Mean That Blackcrusader Could Die Any Second Thanks To Mr.Red.
Tips:And Besides...There Are A LOT Of Questions In Need Of Being Answered.
Cash Money:Will Blackcrusader MEET This Serket Or Whatever Her Name Is?
Pineapple:And Will This Problem Continue?
Milkbar:Let's Find Out When They Evade...
Pizza Thot Employees:THE SPIDER'S CLAW!!!
Pineapple:And Word Of Advice...Don't Try Reading Minds At Home Kids.
Boss:Uh Pine?
Pineapple:Y-Yeah Boss?
Boss:You DO Realiese That There Are No Children Reading This Right?
Pineapple:...Not Really. And Neither In Pizza Thot Since We Always Have Sex At The Same Establishment.
Cash Money:Hey,We Gotta Pay The Bills Elsewhere...
Tips:...WELP!I'm Gonna Remove My Clothes In Order To Arouse The Re-
Travis Touchdown:(Slides In The Scene Where The End Of Part 2 Left Off)Watch Part 3 While We Wait For The Next Game.(Walks Away As The Scene Begins To Play)
The Jeidodoragon Palace
After Killing Brain Drain...
Painwheel:Ugh...(Looks Up And Sees Josh Holding Brain Drain's Head,Goes Shocked)...you did it...
Blackcrusader:..Oh Crap.
Painwheel:(Shakes Her Head)...you've done it...it's impossible.h-how did you do that?
Blackcrusader:...Don't Look At Me,I'm Not The One Who Ripped His Head Off.(Points At Josh)
Suicide Josh:...He's The Controller,(Crushes Brain Drain's Head)But You On The Other Hand...(Grabs Painwheel's Mask And Rips It Off,Looks At The Mask Then Looks At Painwheel)You Were Innocent...For A 15 Year Old.
Harajuku Lulu:...What We Miss?
Blackcrusader:Painkiller...(Looks At Painwheel)...Get This Girl A Medic.
Painkiller:You Got It!(Escorts Painwheel To A Hospital)
Terra Mech:(Looks Down And Notices Brain Drains Head)
Hmm...Interesting.
Jack Goins:hmm...Aw Well,Let's Head Back.I Know A Place That'll Have The The Most Greatest Wings Of All-(Gets Shot In The Head)..Hehehe Fuck It.(Falls Down To The Ground And Dies)
Blackcrusader:(Shoots Deadeye With An Annihilator Revolver And Walk Towards Her)...
Deadeye:Ugh...You-(Coughs Out Blood From Her Half Face Mask)...Pitiful Bastard.
Blackcrusader:Who Sent You To Kill Me?
Addison Brody:(Was About To Enter The Jeidodoragon Palace Until She Gets Knocked Out By Jack Knife)
Jack Knife:Huh...Never Thought That You Would Be Here.I Could Hardly Recognise You Brody,Well...Despite You Being Dead And Leatherized By A False God.(Looks At Junk Punk And Deadmute)Get This Thing Back To Death City,Deathhead Would Like To Have A Chat With This One.
Blackcrusader:...(Looks At Vriska)Do You Know Someone Who Goes By The Butcher?
Hollister:No But I Do...Jack"The Butcher"Macmillan,Was Infamous For Mercenary Work From Mr.Red Himself.He Leaves Without A Trace,Always Willing To Kill Those That Stood In His Way,Always Collecting Artifacts For Mr.Red's Own Needs.
Blackcrusader:Yeah But Why Would He Do All Of This?
Lil Susie:He Does It For The Money,He's A Real Douchebag That Nobody Likes Since He Doesn't Have A Heart Like Ms.Tankthrust Herself.
Nero:Yeah,At One Point He Trusts You And Next Thing You Know He Stabs You In The Back And Leaves You For Dead.
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:And In Other Cases...Vriska,You're Under Arrest.(Notices That Vriska Is Gone)...Vriska?
TekDek:Let Her Go Spike,We've Got Other Problems To Deal With.
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:(Nods)You're Right,Let's Head Back To Base For Further Instructions.
Drake The Crackhead:Jack"The Butcher"Macmillian...Damn,Now That Is Worse Than Jack The Ripper.
Jack Goins:Ha!(Gets Up After Being Shot)Say Less.
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:...I Thought You Were Dead.
The Top Floor Of 54-Story Ponte Tower
Death City
Deathhead:...They've Met The Thief Of Light While You've Captured This Girl?
Junk Punk:Correct,She Killed A Lot Of People With These Powers She Got From The Scarlet Queen Herself.
Deathhead:Interesting...But She Is Not A Queen,She's A False Idol To Others.Something To Corrupt Their Minds During Both Day And Night,Something To Fill Their Childhood To The Brim With Trauma And Nightmares.
Jack Knife:...In Other Cases,(Gives Deathhead;Addison's Winterberry Wolf Mask)We Found This While She Was Wearing It.
Deathhead:And It Resembles Her Being A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing.
SplatterHEAD:Speaking Of...(Tosses His Cleaver Towards Wall Next To Kanade Amakusa)Well...Look What The Cat Dragged In.
Kanade Amakusa:Uh...Uh...Uh...(Screams And Gets Knocked Out By Jack Knife)
Jack Knife:Kanade Amakusa,Cursed With The"Absolute Choice"...Take Him To The Cells,We Shall Make Him Become A Man.
Junk Punk:Nice,Can't Wait.
Blackcrusader's House
Death Squad HQ
Blackcrusader:Uh C-Can't Just Talk It Out Like Normal People?I Mean...Why Are You Ladies Chasing Me?
Naomi Blackburn:Well That's Because We Love You Master And We'll Always Be Around To Look After You.
Ayane Johnson:Yeah!(Hugs And Kisses Blackcrusader In The Cheek,Giggles)Even When You're Not Home.
Diana Maye:(Grabs Blackcrusader By The Leg)So Pwease Don't Mashter,It's Lonely In The House Without You.
Blackcrusader:Ok But WHY Is Clara In My Room BURNING A FEW OF MY GAMING MAGAZINES?!
Clara Flowers:I'm Not Burning The Gaming Magazines,I'm Burning The Ones That Are Shameless And Perverted.
Blackcrusader:Alright But...Diana,(Points A Turd On The Floor)Can You Explain To Me WHAT THAT IS!?!
Diana Maye:Hmm?(Notices A Turd On The Floor)Oh Yeah,One Of The Girls Released Jane While She Was Eating A Hot Pocket Clara Made.
Blackcrusader:She WHAT!?
Jane The Feral:(Laughs Wildly And Bundles Up Towards Blackcrusader After Crawling Towards Him)
Blackcrusader:(Sighs,Face Palms)...Could This Get ANY Worse? I Mean I've Killed The Calypsos,Killed The Former Leader Of The Peggies,Killed Handsome Jack And Killed A Lot Of Others In The Process.(Hears A Knock On The Door)...I Wonder Who That Could Be.(Walks Towards The Door While Holding A Spas 12 And Opens It,Sighs)...Typical,Look What The Church Dragged In.
Sister Daisy:Nice To Meet You Too Mr.Crusader,And My Don't You Look Rather...Busy Today.
Blackcrusader:Thanks,I'm Guessing You Came From Living Again Worldwide Ministries,Last Hope Or Fall's End?
Sister Daisy:No Not Really,I've Come All This Way From Sacred Relief To Come In Contact With A Sinner.
Blackcrusader:Which Is?
Sister Daisy:...You.
Blackcrusader:Say Less,And Besides Aren't You Supposed To Be At Church Doing God's Work?Cause I'm Bored As A Dog On A Monday And Garfield Hates Mondays.
Sister Daisy:But I'm Sure That He Gets Like That ALL The Time,But What I'm Really Here For Is To Give You Something Special.
Blackcrusader:Let Me Guess,You're The Country Nun From Queens Beach Huh?
Sister Daisy:...(Giggles)Sort Of.
Blackcrusader:Right...So,If You're Around,...Whistle If You See Any Signs Of Some Others That Want To Get Their Hands On Me.
Sister Daisy:Will Do.(Turns Around And Heads Back To The Sacred Relief Church)You Have A Good Day Now,And May God Be With You...Always.
Blackcrusader:...Ok.(Just As He Closes The Door,Notices Daisy Stopping Him From Closing It)
Sister Daisy:(Gives Blackcrusader A Pamphlet And Her Card)
Blackcrusader:...(Nods)So I Take It That You're Not Just Some Ordinary Nun?
Sister Daisy:(Smiles At Blackcrusader)Maybe.(Turns Around And Walks Away While Humming"Let It Shine")
Blackcrusader:...
Sister Daisy:And Use It On Something Else Instead Of Using It On One Of God's Children,No One Likes It When You Point It At Others!It's A Crime You Know.(Winks At Blackcrusader,Continues To Walk Away While Humming"Let It Shine")
Blackcrusader:...Weird.(Closes The Front Door)
Blackcrusader's Room
Listening To"Tyler The Creator-Yonkers"While Staring At The Ceiling Fan
Blackcrusader:(In Mind:(Sighs)...What Am I Thinking About? Maybe It Has Something To Do With The Fact That I've Talked To A Nun From Some Church Called Sacred Relief...Whatever That's Called.Wait...I Did Mention That She's A Country Gal From Queens Beach.But Isn't Milk A Country Gal?I've Seen Her Photo Back In The Cog Gear Apartments When Ninjax Showed It To Me.Also I DID Met The Employees At Pizza Thot Not To Mention The Former Thot Wings Manager And Her Big D**k Since She Asked Me To Fuck Off Before I Took The Money And Walked Out Without Giving A Fuck As I Never Did Quote Unquote Give 12 Shits About Those Places While Talking About Something To Do With The Fact That I've Met Someone Else While I Was There...Wait...
That Nun I've Just Met...She DID Say That Her Name Was Sister Daisy Right?I Mean...Who Else Wouldn't Have The Name Daisy,Cause The Name Means Day's Eye.Huh...And She Did Look Busty For A Nun,Well Despite Her Looking Like She's Compared To Some OTHER Assholes.
Like Those Band Members Of Twisted Bats,They May Be Goths But Two Of Them Dean AND Mary Used To Be In A Christian School,But Rumor Has It That They've Got Caught Trying To Have Sex In That School And Just Got Punished For It.And Of Course Thot Wings Has It's OWN Manager Despite Boss Being Around To Have An Implant For Her Crotch.And Command Grab...(Sighs)...I HATE Command Grab So Very Much,It Makes Me Want To Kill Myself OVER AND OVER AGAIN!But...It's Fine,I'll Make Her Pay Someday But Until Then I Gotta Deal With Some Other Problems.
Like...Her For Example,Sure She's The Mayor OF Queens Beach But Why Would Some Douchebag Want To Elect HER For Mayor I Mean Look At Her,She's Just A Thot Who Won The Election But Not To Mention Her Friends Esha AND Ruth...UGHH!...,But Although...Her Ass AND Her Tits Make Me Wanna Just...Just...(Sighs)Whatever,Fuck her,Fuck Queens Beach AND FUCK EVERYONE I HAVE EVER MET!)(Hears A Knock On The Door,Walks Towards The Door And Opens It,Looks Around And Shrugs)Goodbye...(Just As He Closes The Door...)
Milkbar:H-HEY!(Opens The Door)
Blackcrusader:Milkbar?What The Fuck Are You Doing Here?
Milk's Mom:(Walks Into The House And Sits On The Couch)
Blackcrusader:Milk...Who The FUCK Is She?
Milkbar:(Face Palms,Sighs)Sh-She's My Mother And...I'm Her Daughter.
Blackcrusader:(Looks At Her Mom)...Huh,Say Less.(Looks At Milkbar)So She's A Country Gal Like You.
Milkbar:Yeah,I Guess So.
Milk's Mom:Ay Milk,Who's The City Boy With That There Scar On His Eye?
Milkbar:Hm?OH,Th-This Is B-Blackcrusader.M-My-
Blackcrusader:Friend.I'M Her Friend From Washington State,Also Don't Remind Me Why I Ever Became Friends With Her In The First Place.And Besides I've Even Looked At A Picture Of Her Playing With A Sex Toy In Her Bedroom.
Milkbar:(Laughs Nervously,Grabs Blackcrusader By The Collar)Uh Crusader,C-Can I Have A W-Word With You P-Please?(Takes Blackcrusader Into The Kitchen)
In The Kitchen...
Milkbar:You Mentioned Her That Picture Of Me Playing With A...S-Sex Toy Eventhough It Was From My Sister?
Blackcrusader:Hey Calm Your Tits Cowgirl,It's Not Like I Didn't Know Your Sister And What Not.
Milkbar:Th-That's Because You Haven't Met Her.(Sighs)L-Look,She's Big,Tall And She's Not Your Average Kind Of Gal.
Blackcrusader:Ok,Then What Is She?
Milkbar:Ugh!(Shows Blackcrusader A Picture Of Her Sister)
Blackcrusader:Woah...Say Less.
Drake The Crackhead:(Walks Into The Kitchen Shirtless)Sup Homes And Oh...I See You've Got Some Company Up in Here.
Blackcrusader:That's Drake...(Sees Misty And Connor)Misty And Connor.
Milkbar:(Waves Hello To Connor And Misty)Hey.
Connor:(Drinks A Can Of Sprite)Hey There.
Misty"DEADHAND"Douglas:~Sup.(Blows A Bubble And Pops It)
Milkbar:Your Friend Misty Kinda Reminds Me Of Cash.Well...Without The Goth Chic.
Misty"DEADHAND"Douglas:HA!...Say Less.
Blackcrusader:(Hears A Phone Ring And Answers It)Speak.Wait...You're Attacked By What Exactly?...(Sighs)I'm On My Way.(Tosses The Phone Towards Connor)
Connor:Dude What's Wrong?
Blackcrusader:(Grabs And Loads A"Patrioteer"G36KV)Trouble,Spike's Team Just Got Ambushed By A Leatherman Brute.
Connor:Oh Shit...
Milkbar:W-Wait...Leatherman,D-Did You Just Say L-Leatherman?
The Abandoned Sugoi Museum Entrance
Weeaboo Boulevard,Gamer City
Rose Lalonde:He had better get out of there...(Looks At Her Left And Sees Blackcrusader Exiting Pacemaker His While Armed With A"Patrioteer"G36KV)Who...is that?
Kanaya Maryam:That's...The Man Who Captured Me And The Others,And Of Course Killed The...Thing That Had The Personation Of My Ancestor.
Blackcrusader:(Walks Towards The Entrance And Notices Rose And Kanaya Standing There With Gamer Soldiers)
Rose Lalonde:(Crosses Her Arms,Sighs)So you're the guy kanaya was talking to me about.cliche.
Blackcrusader:WOAH.Talk Much?
Rose Lalonde:Only if you are eager enough to talk yourself into anything like shall we say...steelport for example?
Blackcrusader:Say Less.(Looks At Kanaya In Her Black And White Dress)Nice Dress.
Kanaya Maryam:Thanks But You're Not My Type.
Blackcrusader:*Gee Thanks*...Remind Me To Bring Some Garlic Next Time.
Kanaya Maryam:Being Sarcastic Are You?How Original For A Human Like Yourself.
Blackcrusader:(Sees The Columns Tumble Onto A Red Lamborghini,Looks At A Gamer Elite Officer And His Handheld"Rapi-DON'T"HMG)Ay Soldier,Mind Handing Me That Gun?
Gamer Elite Soldier#21(Male):(Nods To Blackcrusader And Give Blackcrusader His Handheld"Rapti-DON'T"HMG,Patches Into Another Gamer Soldier)Let Him In.(Moves Out Of The Way So Blackcrusader Can Get Inside The Abandoned Museum)Head On Through Boss,Careful...That Leatherman Brute Is Dangerous.
Blackcrusader:I Always Am.(Enters The Abandoned Sugoi Museum)
Rose Lalonde:In case he doesn't come out alive...i'll prepare a funeral for his own heroic sacrifice he made for himself.
Frank"FRANKENSTEIN"Ryan:(Places His Hand On Rose's Shoulder)No...You Won't.
The Abandoned Sugoi Museum
Blackcrusader:Spike,You In Here?(Sees Spike Wounded And Walks Towards Him)Spike What Happened To You?
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:Nuh...A Leatherman Brute Took Me Down And Left Me Wounded,The Other Got Torn Apart By That Bastard While It Looked Around For More.
Blackcrusader:...I'll Go And Find This Thing,You Just Get Out And Let Painkiller Patch You Up.
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:Ok.(Gets Up And Heads For The Exit)And Be Careful Man,That Thing Is Like A Tank And WILL Kill You Just As It Gets One Mean Look At You.
Blackcrusader:I Will.(Walks Into The Hentai Section Of The Museum And Stays On His Guard,Hears Heavy Footsteps And Hides,Hears Growls)
Leatherized GHB:(Walks Around Searching For His Next Victim And Stops,Sniffs Then Growls)CoMe On OuT,i CaN hEaR yOu MoThErFuCkEr.
Blackcrusader:(In Head:Wait...Did He Just Talk Like That?Where Have I Heard Someone Talk Like That Before?...Oh Crap!)(Flashes Back Towards The Beforean Event In Homestuck)
Blackcrusader:...N-No No No,He's Dead Like The Rest Of The Ancestors Unless...No Way That Can't Be Him Cause If It Was Him He Would Kill Dualscar Cause Dualscar Was Killed By...The Grand Highblood...
Leatherized GHB:HONK...HONK...HONK...HONK...HONK...
Blackcrusader:(Hears Leatherized GHB Stop Honking,Sighs)That Was Close...(Gets Grabbed By The Neck And Tossed Into The Ground And Into The Kawaii Exhibit)UGH!(Coughs,Turns Around And Sees Leatherized GHB)
Leatherized GHB:(Grabs A Kanabo From An Oni Statue,Cocks His Neck And Laughs)I CAN TELL THAT I'M GONNA ENJOY BASHING YOUR AGGRAVATION SPONGE...HUMAN.
Blackcrusader:Go Ahead Subjugglator,(Points A G36KV"Patrioteer At Leatherized GHB)Make Your Move With That Stubby Club As I Make Your Final Act A Little...Intimidating For Your Punchline.Cause Hey...You're In A Society Where Everyone Abandons You And Treats You Like Trash.Isn't That What Joker Said?
Leatherized GHB:(Snarls At Blackcrusader)PETTY HUMAN,YOU'LL REGRET SAYING THOSE WORDS FROM THE TOP OF YOUR BELLOWSACS.(Swings The Kanabo As"Valley Of Spirits/Celestial Hall-Marvel Ultimate Alliance OST"Begins To Play And Hits A Column,Roars)
Blackcrusader:(Shoots Leatherized GHB With A G36KV"Patrioteer And Notices That Leatherized GHB Can Take Damage And Ignores It)Crap...(Shoots Leatherized GHB With A M26 MASS Attachment,Dodges His Swing)Grah!...Woo He's Good With That Club.(Looks At Shotgun And Shoots Leatherized GHB In The Arm)
Leatherized GHB:(Grunts In Pain,Growls And Points His Kanabo At Blackcrusader)You Will Bleed From Where You Stand.(Roars And Swings His Kanabo Until He Misses,Grunts)
Blackcrusader:(Breathes Heavily)WOW He's Good At Using That...I Wonder How He Learned How To Do That?(Looks At A Hog Splitter And Grabs It)Time For Your Final Punchline,Ass-Clown...(Rushes Towards Leatherized GHB And Tries To Hit Him But Misses)Crap.(Blocks His Attack While Grunting)
Leatherized GHB:(Laughs,Grabs Blackcrusader By The Neck)AnD nOw FoR tHe NeXt PaRt Of My PuNcHlInE...wHaT iS bLaCk AnD wHiTe AnD rEd AlL oVeR?
Blackcrusader:(Digistructs A Tediore Shotgun,Smiles And Laughs)...I Got The Answer.
Leatherized GHB:AnD tHaT iS wHaT,kIlLiNg Me WiTh JuSt A sMaLl ToY?(Steps On Blackcrusader's Right Hand,Laughs)BiGgEsT mIsTaKe YoU'vE eVeR mAdE,cAuSe AcTuAlLy...ThE rEaL aNsWeR tO tHe JoKe Is-
Painkiller:(Shoots Leatherized GHB In The Head With His M9 Pistol Then Shoots Him In The Body Multiple Times)...And Stay Down You Filthy Animal.(Sighs And Rapidly Loads His M9 Before Holstering It)
Arach:...Are You Guys Alright?
Blackcrusader:I Am,Same With Him Too.
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:...(Nods)Have This Animal Contained And Tossed Into The Containment Units.
Blackcrusader:No,I Have A Better Idea.
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:Alright,I'm Listening.What Is It That You Want To Do With It?
Blackcrusader:(Smiles At Spike And Then Winks At Him)
In The SCP Foundation Facility
In A Classified Location
Nine Tailed Fox Solder#12(Female):(Helps The Other Escort Leatherized GHB Into A Unit)Right Here,(Points The Guys To GHB's Unit)
Nine Tailed Fox Soldier#44(Male):(Nods)Affirmative.Any Idea On What Class It Should Be?
Nine Tailed Fox Soldier#12(Female):It's Considered Hostile Due To It Being Put Down At The Abandoned Sugoi Museum By This Death Squad,Have Him In Shackles...He Woun't Be Gettin' Out Anytime Soon.
Nine Tailed Fox Soldier#44(Male):(Nods)solid copy.(Helps NTF Solder#12 Escort Leatherized GHB Into A Unit Where The Statue Used To Be)
Leatherized GHB:NuH...hUh?WhErE aM i?AnD wHy Am I iN tHiS...lOoNyBlOcK?
Nine Tailed Fox Soldier#44(Male):Well This"Looneyblock"Is Called A Containment Unit And You're Not Getting Out Of Here,PERIOD.
Nine Tailed Fox Soldier#12(Female):Yeah,So Be A Good Boy And Try Not To Cause A Containment Breach.(Laughs)Oh...And Welcome To The Facility,Keter Class.
End Of Chapter 5...
Epilogue
Blackcrusader's House
Zdrada,The Bitch Demon:Woah...You Sure That,This Is The Place?It Looks Shitty To be Honest.
Pandemonica,The Tired/Sadistic Demon:(Sighs,Adjusts Her Glasses)Yeah,I'm Sure Of It.
Malina,The Sour Demon:(Grunts,Sighs And Drinks A Bottle Of Whiskey)Aw Fuck it,(Shoves Pandemonica To The Side And Pounds On The Door)...
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:Yeah Who Is It?(Looks At Demons Zdrada,Pandemonica And Malina)Three Demons Walk Up Towards A Member Of The-
Zdrada,The Bitch Demon:Ay,Is Blackcrusader Around?
Malina,The Sour Demon:Cause IF so...can we come IN?
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:...No,Now Isn't A Best Time.
Zdrada,The Bitch Demon:Fine,Then I Guess We Can't Tell You About Mr.Red And His Plan To Use The Armagoddamnmotherfuckinggeddon.
Spike"GRIMM"Wilson:...Say That Again.
Zdrada,The Bitch Demon:Make Me.(Sees The End Of The Barrel Of Spike's Annihilator Revolver,Laughs)And Here I Was To Tell You About Mr.Red,And YOU Hehe Pointing A Gun Hehe A GUN At In Front Of My Face?(Laughs,Blows Cigarette Smoke In Spike's Face)...You Don't Have The Balls To Pull The Trigger,you know that...~Right?
Drake The Crackhead:AY YO!Get Yo Bitch-Ass Away From His Face,Actin' Like You Own This House Wit'Yo Bitch Ass!
Pandemonica,The Tired/Sadistic Demon:(Sees Blackcrusader Eating A Hot Pocket Sloppy Joe Slider,Clears Her Throat To Get Blackcrusader's Attention)...Blackcrusader?
To Be Continued In Chapter 6:Corruption...
The Helltaker:(Removes The Helmet While Wearing A Praetor Suit,Tosses The Helmet Away And Crosses His Arms)And Yes...None Of All Of This Is Canon,Not Even The Girls Meeting Him And The Death Squad In The Epilogue Of This Chapter. Or Even The Characters(inclding addison brody from"Tomboy"and The Grand High Blood From"homestuck".And No Character Was Ever Harmed During The Making Of This Chapter...EVER.
Lucifer,The CEO Of Hell:Now Get Lost...(Looks At The Helltaker)I Mean...BYE Have A Beautiful Time! No Really Get Lost.