(honestly not rlly a 'smut' warning but like kinda descriptive making out)
"what?"
my eyes widened in shock. he must be lying. i would've known is syd had a thing with stan. she wouldn't do that to me. and she never had interest in him.
"ok well i guess we weren't a thing but i liked her when you guys first moved here and i tried to get close to her because of it."
"and you... didn't think to tell me?"
"well i didn't think it mattered. she never liked me back anyways and we ended up not being friends."
"but you didn't think that after these few weeks of getting super close to me i wouldn't want to know?"
stan tensed up. i pulled my seat belt off and threw the car door open. i'm a dramatic bitch some say.
"please eby wait!"
"no. and don't call me that stupid nickname. how am i supposed to know this isn't all a scheme to get with my sister?"
stans eyes changed to a confused look. i felt my heart race. i love stan. i love him to much.
after these weeks of being friends i've realized that i don't think i want to live without him. i want to have something with him. but i cant trust him.
"i love you ebony novak. i'm not gonna stop loving you because of some stupid fight."
i started off down the street. the wind rushed through my hair as i pulled my skateboard with me. tears streamed down my face and i didn't try to hold it in. suddenly a sign fell over from behind me. i could hear rocks moving around on the street but i chose to ignore it.
i felt my heart shatter. the one person i had let in. he helped me when brad...
i want to hate him but i cant. i cant hate someone who i love more than myself.
"please don't walk home alone ebs it's not safe. just let me drive you home and explain god damn it."
he was right. it's not safe so late at night especially with the weird stuff that's been happening to me.
"fine. but don't expect me to listen."
i sat in stans car, the tears welling up in my eyes as i looked through the window. i couldn't let myself mess up another relationship because of my stupid trust issues.
"you know you're one of the most stubborn and dramatic people i've ever met."
"i thought you were trying to convince me to listen to you."
"i'm being honest. you know i love you. i told you that the night at the bowling alley. i do love you. i don't want to because god knows that you could hurt me. but i love you. i'm not using you to get close to syd. i'm over syd. maybe i never really liked her all that much."
i sat in silence for a few moments, taking in the words stan had said. i know deep down that he's being honest. maybe i am stubborn.
"i love you too. i'm sorry for being a dick head but god damn it stan i'm not having the time of my life recently. ya know it hurts when you think the guy you've liked for two years and just recently became best friends with could be using you for your twin sister."
"i'm not using you i told you that."
stan pulled the car over on the side of the road. we were next to the train tracks that led through multiple towns near brownsville.
he turned to me. i could see the sorrow on his face. beneath his left eye was a bruise, one i must've not noticed with everything that had happened tonight.
"oh stan. i'm sorry i'm being so selfish. are you ok?"
"no no. i mean yes. i'm ok. this isn't about me-"
"was it your dad?"
silence filled the car. i knew stans father wasn't the best man in the world, he had told me that.
"stan. if you ever need to stay at my house you can. i can help you, please let me help you."
"thank you."
i reached my hand up to touch stans cheek. he tensed up at the touch but eventually melted into it.
so i did what any rational person would do and i leaned in.
the kiss continued for what felt like an eternity before stan motioned towards the back seat. we both hopped into the back and continued where we had left off. the kiss deepened and i swung my leg over top of stans lap, pulling myself on top of him. i sat in his lap with my legs on either side of him.
his hands gripped my waist as i moved mine into his hair. i pulled in and kissed him more passionately.
and well let's say things were a bit more than pg-13 in that car.
the next morning
i woke up in the morning in my bed. i had snuck back in last night after...... well that.
but i don't remember much of it. i could've sworn i didn't wear this button up out though.
but it's a school day. i cant worry about last night right now.
so i got out of bed and put on an outfit that would be simple but cute.
the outfit of course consisted of stans flannel.
i finished getting ready and met syd outside of my house.
"you look like you got 2 hours of sleep ebs"
"oh let's just say i had quite the 'wild' night"
i winked at my sister as she gave me a disgusted look.
"god stop fucking stan please"
"nah"
about halfway down the block i heard a car behind us. of course it was stanley barber.
"hey"
"hi"
"yo stanley"
"hey eby. how are you? did you sleep well? did you eat breakfast i have a granola bar if you didn't"
before stan could finish i jumped into the passengers seat of the car, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
"i'm ok stan. and i ate breakfast don't worry."
"ok good."
"so uh can i get in the car too or are you gonna bang again?"
".... both?"
syd rolled her eyes and sat down in the back seat of stans beat up car.
once again i'll save you the boring details of the school day. well until gym class that is.
because at gym class things changed.
i was going to sit next to dina when she gave me a weird look. i kind of assumed it was just a joke so i sat down.
"so you're lying to me now?"
"huh?"
"what?"
by that point syd had joined the conversation.
"i saw the library, you lied."