When junior year started, I had a better grip on my priorities. I wanted to do my best to focus on school seeing all the hype that surrounded your junior year when it came to applying to colleges. I wasn't a bad student, but I was always one to push myself to be better than I was before. I desired to graduate and get a well-paying job, be one of the success stories.
I was able to spend my summer getting things in order. My relationship with Q was stable and strong, so I was able to put a little less focus into it all. Of course, I'd never hesitate to say I was obsessed with my man. But you wouldn't catch junior Janae indulging in sophomore Janae tendencies. Daydreaming included.
"You know they did this on purpose right," Will said as I walked towards the lunchroom with her.
"What?"
"Gave us no classes together. We're all split up every which way when we picked majority of the same classes."
"We still have lunch." I reminded her as I walked through the double doors.
"Fuck lunch."
"Watch your mouth." In a flash, Will was smacked in the back of the head by her older brother Shawn as he walked past us with his friends.
"Fucking bitch," Will muttered, rubbing the back of her head softly as I let out a laugh.
"Come on. I know you're hungry." I got in line with her and we grabbed our food before getting to our regular table, seeing the rest of the crew.
"What's the news?" I asked curiously, already knowing the beginning year brought on new interesting information about our schoolmates.
"Your brother's chasing Lyrica Johnson," Kaylen responded.
"No he is not." I denied with an amused laugh, shaking my head. "Lyrica would never."
"He was pushing all up on her in the hallway last period. Nicki saw it, Nick tell her."
"Yup, I saw it with my own eyes," Nicki confirmed. "Looks like he's tryna get her to go to prom with a real nigga." She joked, causing me to let out a laugh.
"Lyrica's alright." I shrugged. "Pretty."
"Next." Will loudly declared, taking a bite of her sandwich.
"Linda's talking about how she fucked Aaron." Kaylen brought up.
My face fell. "Are you fucking for real?"
"Yeah." She nodded.
Raquel looked at her with concern. "You okay?"
"He was tryna get me to do it all the time we were together so he was bound to go get it somewhere else." Kay expressed, rolling her eyes. "I don't care."
"Want me to fight him?"
Will.
"Nah, it's all good. Linda's been around the whole block and then some. That's embarrassing enough."
Nicki just reached for a high five that made her smile. I opened my mouth to comment only for hands to cover my eyes, making me freeze. "Boo!" An all too familiar voice spoke in my ear.
"Quincy chill out." I smiled and he just let out a chuckle, moving his hands from my face to my shoulders.
"Hey girls." He greeted.
"Hey Q." They all responded back.
"You dropped Kelmer's?" I asked, glancing at him. He had to get his schedule changed because he was put in the wrong class, causing him to have a different lunch wave from me and the rest of his friends.
"Yeah."
"That's good." I smiled.
"I'mma be over there. I'll see you later okay?"
"Yeah." I agreed, letting him kiss me softly before he walked off to join his friends.
"Ouuu," Nicki commented, giving me a look, making me feel hesitant about meeting her gaze. "Y'all are getting serious."
"It's been like four months," I responded, waving her off.
"You say you love him yet?" Kay questioned.
"You tell Aaron you love him?" I retorted, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I don't think I meant it though. I just said it cause he said it." She honestly replied. "But don't do that. You and Q are different."
"How are we different?"
"Y'all truly care about each other. More than I cared for ole boy." She explained.
"And more than I cared about Nate," Nicki added.
"The answer to your question is no." I told her. "We're not there yet."
"Oh boo." Rocky frowned.
I smiled. "It'll happen."
"I'm watching y'all." Kaylen gave me the 'I'm watching you' fingers.
"Girl bye. Just continue on gossiping." I said as I finally started to dig into my food. "I'm listening."
🖤
After school, I found myself watching Will on the blacktops playing three on three with her usual boys. I just sat by the fence in the shade and worked on some science book work. The girls made their appearances but eventually had to go and get other things done. And Q had family things to deal with, so he just walked with us to the blacktops and went his own way.
I honestly didn't have anything better to do, so I thought I should stick around and be Will's little cheerleader. And I couldn't even remember the last time I had some one on one time with Will. We just naturally operated as a group, and it wasn't like it was weird with it being just the two of us, it was just a rare occasion.
"Is that my homework or yours?" Will asked as she took a seat next to me after wrapping up with the boys.
"Mine. I'm not about to do your homework."
"What if I pay you?"
"Depends on the subject."
"English."
"Now you know damn well you have better handwriting than I do. That'll never fly." I gave her a knowing look.
I have no clue where she got it from, but Will wrote in cursive. Like fancy cursive, not just connecting letters together. Sometimes teachers asked her to write in print if we were doing group work, and even that looked pretty.
"Our print writing is kinda similar."
"No, it's not." I denied with a laugh.
Will grabbed the pencil in my hand and rewrote my name on the top of the page above my own. "See, similar."
"That's because you tried copying me." I snatched the pencil back. "You're a damn mess." I closed my book, placing it in my backpack. "Writing like a girl but acting like a boy." I joked.
"Y'know people will never let that go," Will responded with a slight nod, agreeing with me. "Just cause I wear a hoodie and sweats to the grocery store and don't back down from competition I'm getting asked if I'm gay."
That comment just made me freeze, my eyebrows furrowing as I questioned if I heard correctly. "Someone asked you that?"
"Right in front of my mother." She confirmed.
"What happened?"
"My mom instantly said some slick shit back and I just kept my mouth shut."
"Will if you're gay you know I love you-"
"Nae, I'm not gay." Will just cut me off with a smile, holding her hand up. "Niggas just wanna stoop low when you ball better than them."
I observed her questionably. "Are you lying to me?"
"No. I'm not lying to you. You're the last person I feel like I gotta lie to about my life. I'm not into girls like that. I would know by now if that's the case."
"How do you know?" I wondered curiously.
"Cause the only people I ever think about fucking are dudes."
I gasped, not at all expecting that response, only to let out a laugh. "Will."
"If there was any chance Mr. G would look my way, I will show up to school in a dress, heels, nails, some weave, and be all the way ready."
"Oh my god is that why that was your favorite class?!"
"Why else would it be?"
"Cause he's a nice guy."
"Fuck being nice. That nigga is fine with a capital 'F' and an exclamation point, you feel me?" She extended her hand to me and I couldn't just not dap her up on that one.
"When you and Q actually fuck you'll get it on a deeper level." She told me. "But girl, he could get it."
My eyes just widening slightly. "You had sex?!"
"Oh, I forgot that was a secret." She muttered to herself, scratching the back of her neck.
"Bitch, what the fuck!" I practically screamed.
Will just swiftly stood up with a smile. "Welp, I think it's time for my ass to head home."
"Nuh-uh. I'm coming." I declared.
"No, you're not." Will denied, grabbing her bag. "I gotta shower and all that kinda thing. What you gonna do?"
"Listen to you tell me about you having sex."
Will visibly cringed as the word 'sex' came out of my mouth. "Can you not use that word?"
"How are you about to have sex and not like the word sex?"
"Janae!"
"Tell me who you fucked!"
My voice was loud enough to make the niggas that were walking across the street stop and stare.
"Oh my god, Nae." Will grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. "Can't take you nowhere."
"So, you gonna tell me?"
"Yes. Now shut up." Letting me go, she pushed me softly as we started making our way to her house, a smile coming on my lips now that I had my way.
This was gonna be interesting.
🖤
With Q having to go home to attend to some family stuff, I made it a point to call and check up on him when I got home. His family life hadn't been the greatest even before we started dating, his parent's relationship being rocky. When he told me over the phone that he'd rather speak in person and made his way to my house, I knew it had to be something serious.
"Hey." I instantly hugged him after I opened the door, pulling away and placing my hands on his face. "Are you okay? Is everything good? You had me worried."
"They're getting a divorce." He informed me, and I just brought him in for another hug.
"Baby, I'm so sorry," I whispered softly. I grabbed his hand, bringing him to sit with me on the couch.
"They just wanted to sit me down and tell me in person. But I knew it was coming. I even told you." Q explained, and I just nodded, rubbing his back softly. "My mom started crying, and it felt like my heart was breaking, y'know? I've never seen her cry before."
"How are you feeling?"
"Numb."
"What do you mean? Talk to me?"
"Nae. We're not gonna be a family anymore. Sure, we weren't the perfect family but at least I could go home and know they were both about to be there. Now, my Dad's talking about moving out and I don't know. This is just a lot for me."
I couldn't even imagine what he was going through mentally. Especially being an only child. If worse came to worst and I had my siblings to lean on. But Q didn't have anybody like that, and it could be a little scary when it was just you and your thoughts. And as his girlfriend, I was gonna let him know I'd be there for him no matter what.
"Come 'ere." I let him lay his head on my lap while I stroked his hair. "It's gonna be okay. I promise. They're still your parents, and they still love you regardless. It has nothing to do with you. You're perfect."
"You know I'm not trying to pick sides." He muttered.
"And they can't make you do anything you don't wanna do. You're gonna get through this." I grabbed his hand and squeezed it before interlocking our fingers. "I know you will."
These were the type of moments that brought us closer together. When we became vulnerable and spoke from the heart while the other listened. I found myself craving that kind of connection with him more than the physical. There was just something about seeing his gaze turn softer, hearing his voice get smaller, and thoughts get deeper, that drew me in.
Quincy was one of the people in my life who constantly reminded me of how complex an actual person was. As much as he could be sweet, he could be aggressive, just as he could be witty, and smart, and lay his head on my lap and let me care for him.
I found myself lucky to be the girl who saw him as way more than a cute face. 'Cause it was his heart that truly kept me sticking around.