Chapter 38
"Wow. You should really keep this locked." Ashton laughs, opening the door.
"Yeah, people can just walk in." Luke scolds then locks the door behind him.
I grin, seeing the band for the first time since being back to Australia. The boys pull me into an enormous hug with Calum waiting awkwardly on the outside. Luke lets me go last, such a big child, always wanting to hang on. Then Calum runs his hand through my hair and kisses me lightly.
"Guys, guys...if you're just gonna be couple-y this whole time I'm gone." Michael groans.
I put my hands up, smiling, then place them behind my back.
"Nope we're good. The four of us were friends first."
"Happy birthday, by the way." Ashton says, patting my back.
"Thank you."
"I feel so young now." Luke frowns. "But I'm starving. Calum pull out the food."
"Oh my gosh: Mexican food. I have been craving a burrito. Is there gua..."
Calum nods. The five of us relocate to the living room and I click on the TV for empty sound. Calum hands me my chicken burrito and Michael passes around a tray of Starbucks drinks. I take a sip, the warm green tea latte filling me. I know that Calum must have remembered it was what I ordered when I spilled it on him.
"So...what's it like being a year older?" Ashton asks, burrito filling spilling into his strategically placed napkin.
I think for a moment. "Well, I feel the same...can't drink, can't vote. But college is going to be something for sure."
"Lee, I can't believe you're leaving us again. We haven't seen you for months." Luke complains.
"Life calls, right? I mean, you guys will be so wrapped up with writing and the studio and all of that jazz." I reassure him.
"But you're our only friend who's a girl. How are we supposed to meet other girls?" Michael whines.
"I don't even know any girls right now." I say then take an oversized bite of my burrito.
When it looks like everyone has finished, Calum pulls out the cake. It is strawberry shortcake, one of my absolute favorites, and it is the kind I always had for my birthday growing up. He must have asked my mom. Luke sticks twenty candles into the cake, one for good luck, which I think is a bit excessive, but he insists on doing. Then they sing Happy Birthday to me in their beautiful punk pop singsong voices.
I cut into the cake and have the first bite; then they go crazy serving themselves enormous pieces. I wonder what they'll be like on the their sugar highs. They jump around 'til around ten, then Joe tells them to quiet down. By midnight they're asleep. I can tell that they're all exhausted after another hard day in the studio.
"Lee, I still have to give you my present." Calum tells me, helping to pick up the plates and cover the sleeping boys with blankets.
"Cal, I said you didn't have to get me anything. I really don't need a thing." I remind him, slipping several plates into the sink and vowing to wash them tomorrow.
"I know, I know. But I wanted to and it's nothing big. Is it cool that we're crashing the night or do you want us to leave?"
"No, no, it's fine. They kind of just passed out too and I wouldn't want to wake them...So where is this mysterious gift of mine?" I ask, tugging on Calum's arm.
"Well, it's not completely tangible. So we have to go somewhere first. The patio?" He asks.
I nod, biting my lip. Outside, the air is crisp, maybe forty degrees. I regret only wearing a tee shirt. Calum shuffles outside in his grey sweatpants, dark blue sweatshirt, and moccasins. He pulls a guitar, planted from under the outdoor coffee table. Then he motions for me to sit down across from him.
"Cal, did you write me a song?" I ask, rubbing my hands over my arms.
He nods grinning. "Yeah, it was Luke's idea. Not the song, but to give it to you. I burned it to a CD too so you can always have it, until our album releases. Okay. Here goes."
He smiles and brushes the air out of his eyes, before running his fingers over the strings. I stare, mesmerized, at his long fingers. Then his voice sings out into the darkness.
"(A/N: *To the tune of 5SOS' Amnesia it's not supposed to sound like a breakup, it's supposed to be a you're in another country and I miss you song)
I thought about the places we used to hang out when we dated
Thought about our first kiss how it felt the way you tasted
Even though you tell me that you're doing fine
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, because I'm not beside you
When they write those words that hurt you do you read the ones I wrote you
Sometimes I stop to wonder when you said goodbye
If what we have is real how can you be fine
'Cause I'm not fine at all
I remember the day you said you had to leave me
I remember you promised only for a while
And the bags you left behind one day you'd need them
Like every single kiss and every smile
I wish one day you'd call and say you need me
So I can hear your voice if even through the phone
I won't forget the way it felt sleeping next to you
So many memories I never can escape
'Cause I'm not fine at all
The pictures you always send me they still live inside my phone
You know I like to see them, you know sometimes I feel alone
And all my friends keep asking when you'll come back around
It hurts me when you're not here, it hurts me when you're gone
It's hard hearing your name when I haven't seen you in so long
When are you coming back now, no need to be shy
If what we have is real how are you always fine
'Cause I'm not fine at all
I remember the day you said you had to leave me
I remember you promised only for a while
And the bags you left behind one day you'd need them
Like every single kiss and every smile
I wish one day you'd call and say you need me
So I can hear your voice if even through the phone
I won't forget the way it felt sleeping next to you
So many memories I never can escape
If today I woke up with you right beside me
Our months apart only just a dream
I'd hold you closer than I ever did before
You'd never slip away
You'd never hear me say
I remember the day you said you had to leave me
I remember you promised only for a while
And the bags you left behind one day you'd need them
Like every single kiss and every smile
I wish one day you'd call and say you need me
So I can hear your voice if even through the phone
I won't forget the way it felt sleeping next to you
So many memories I never can escape
'Cause I'm not fine at all
No I'm really not fine at all
Tell me this is just a dream
'Cause I'm really not fine at all."
"Calum...I love it. That was amazing," I tell him breathless.
He blushes slightly in the dark, but a grin plays across his face.
"Thank, it's not done obviously and I haven't written in everything, I also think it sounds like you actually left me, but...Happy Birthday."
"Thank you. This actually means so much to me. No ones ever given me such a thoughtful gift before. It was always stuff stuff stuff."
"I'm glad you like it." He replies tugging on the hem of his shirt.
"I love it." I correct him.