"Maaah-"
"Shut up, Tenrō."
"MAAAH!" I yelled on the top of my lungs, only to be slapped harshly on the back of my head.
"I said 'shut up'!"
I rolled my eyes before looking up at a woman with long black hair, black eyes, and a very voluptuous body. If I was attracted to women, I probably would have found her attractive, but I was strictly Tobiramasexual.
She scowled down at me. "You are to be on your best behavior when in class, do you hear me? I don't need you making my name any worse."
It's not my fault you're more interested in big dicks than loyalty, I thought as I stared at her blankly.
She didn't have the power to read my thoughts, otherwise I would have been punched in the face for sure. She pushed on the back of my head, making me walk faster than I appreciated.
I was guided to the group of children before being left behind there by my so-called mother. I rolled my eyes before surveying the children lazily.
"Did you hear?" A girl nearby whispered while pointing at me. "That's the bastard child of the Uchiha clan."
"He looks so weird," another girl whispered.
I am basically a human tree, I thought. I had leaf-green hair, bark-brown skin, and the height of someone two years older than I.
I, Uchiha Tenrō, was the bastard child of an Uchiha woman and an unknown shinobi from Kumogakure. I was the reason my parents divorced, causing my mother to lose her status as the wife to the Uchiha clan's second in line, so needless to say, my mother absolutely despised me.
But, that's neither here nor there.
I shoved my hands into my pockets before giving a deep sigh. I then straightened up and looked at the two gossiping girls. "You know, I have ears."
The two girls tensed up like they were caught cooking meth, their mouths shutting tightly.
"We're sorry, Uchiha-san," the first girl apologized while bowing.
"No, you're not," I said as I stared at her blankly. "You're a civilian, and therefore bred to be a hypocritical little piece of scum."
She gasped before tears filled her eyes. "I-I'm not scum!"
"You're right," I agreed, "You're worse than scum."
"Senseiii!" The girl yelled as she ran off to a teacher. "He said I was worse than scum!"
I snorted before mocking, "Senseiii! He said I was worse than scum!" I threw my head back and laughed.
"Tenrō!" The banshee others called my mother screamed.
I turned around before giving the bitch a thumbs up.
"Don't you dare!" She demanded.
I turned my thumb downward.
"I swear to God, Tenrō-"
I stuck out my tongue at the woman.
She scowled at me fiercely, as she hated when I stuck my tongue out at her over anything else.
I gave a loud laugh as Tenko, or so my mother was named, began to run toward me.
"Alright, you little shit-"
I gave a grin as people began to whisper rapidly about her tone of voice and language with me.
Realizing what I had done, Tenko grabbed my shoulders tightly and leaned down to whisper harshly, "You're getting punishment tonight."
"Oh, I'm sooo scared," I replied with a roll of my eyes.
Her grip on me tightened as hatred for me filled her eyes.
Oooh, she could activate her mangekyō sharingan with that amount of hatred, I thought with a smirk.
"Listen to me, and listen well. You're not going to be an Uchiha for much longer if you continue this," she threatened softly.
I snorted before muttering, "Thank the Lord. I'd hate to be a part of the clan inbred to the point of mental retardation."
That was the last straw for her. She slapped me across the face hard enough to send me crashing to the ground. "I've had enough of your attitude, Tenrō! You're a demon! I should have dumped you in the fucking river when you were a baby!"
I began to sniffle before bursting out crying. "This is why I hate you! You always say and do mean things to me!"
The adults began to swarm us.
One man picked me up and pulled me away as my so-called mother lunged at me. His silver hair reflected the sun's light as his black eyes glared hatefully at the woman.
Oh. My. God. I'm being held by the Hatake Sakumo. I think I'm going to jizz myself, I thought as I clutched onto the man tightly. Wait! Stop! You only love Senju Tobirama! You are not a whore like Tenko!
"How could you do that to your own son?!" A man demanded as he stepped in front of Sakumo-sama and I. With a repulsive green jumpsuit on and a yellow bandana that clashed against his orange leg warmers, it was Maito Dai.
Kyaaa~! I internally squealed like the fangirl I was on the inside. I loved the man for his personality, and now he was defending me.
"He's a bastard child! I never wanted him in the first place!" Tenko yelled furiously.
I gripped onto Sakumo-sama tighter as I scrunched my face up even more.
Sakumo-sama looked downright ready to kill the woman.
Dai was no better.
A sensei quickly stepped in between Dai and Tenko. "Ma'am, we're going to have to ask you to leave."
I watched as the woman bristled up before glaring at me so hard, she actually did activate her sharingan. I gave an internal smirk before burying my head in Sakumo-sama's neck. "Stop! I hate it when you look at me with the scary eyes!"
Sakumo-sama quickly turned me away from the woman so she would be blocked from sight. His voice was positively furious as he growled out, "You use your sharingan against your own child? What kind of monster are you?"
Tenko clenched her hands into fists as her chakra poured out of her, causing the air around her to shift away.
"She's going to hurt me," I muttered into Sakumo-sama's ear with a quivering voice.
The man's grip on me tightened. "Not if I can help it."
I forced myself not to smile, as that would have given me away.
The Hokage finally pushed his way through the crowd, looking quite stern. "Uchiha Tenko! You will calm yourself down at once!"
The woman growled softly as she unclenched her hands. Her chakra flow diminished down to a normal output, but her sharingan was still activated.
"Come with me to my office, now," the old man, who honestly wasn't even that old-looking yet, demanded.
Tenko glared in my direction before stomping off toward the Hokage's office.
Sarutobi Hiruzen followed after.
I was slowly set down by Sakumo-sama and watched as many adults whispered to each other and gave me eyes full of pity.
Dai turned around and knelt down in front of me. "Are you okay?"
I nodded as I wiped my eyes with my arm. "Yeah, getting slapped and glared at happens almost every day."
He clenched his hands into tight fists.
I finished wiping away my tears and said loudly, "I only hurt a lot when Kaa-chan does her spinning eye thingy!"
The bitch was in trouble now, for sure. She deserved it though, as she really didn't treat me like a human being and rather a constant nuisance that deserved punishment as a way to fix things. She wasn't fit to be a mother at all.
With rage clear in their bodies, Sakumo and Dai looked at each other. They nodded, making a clear promise to each other to protect the supposed smol bean which was me. They were very mistaken, as I was no smol bean, but I would play the part until necessary.
I smiled to myself as the sensei once again called order to the crowd. I was politely ushered over to my spot amongst the children in the crowd and made to stand in the grid pattern that the teachers set up.
The principal, who's name I wasn't even remotely bothered to learn, went on and on about us being hand-picked to become shinobi, making our families proud, and making the Hokage proud. It was all bullshit in my opinion.
Then, entrance papers were handed out.
That's when Uchiha fuckmothering Obito showed up. He came racing into our neat grid pattern while yelling something stupid about just making it.
Fucking Uchihas, I thought despite the fact I was an Uchiha.
"You're late," Kakashi said oh-so-helpfully, "You missed the entrance ceremony."
Obito's face fell.
Rin, being a helpful girl, walked over with a bright smile. She held out Obito's entrance papers and said, "Here! I saved them for you!"
Obito gave a blush as he took the papers. "Th-thank you!"
And so, the love triangle begins... I noted in my mind before my eyes widened. I snapped my head around to Asuma and saw Kurenai right next to him. I was about to open my mouth to point out the fact they were going to have a baby when I was interrupted.
"Alright, everyone! Into your classrooms!" The principal yelled.
"Yay, learning," I commented sarcastically with a roll of my eyes.
Nearby, Genma snickered, a large toothpick sticking out of his mouth.
I gave a subtle smirk as I was marched into the school and to my classroom, which was the same class Gai was in, meaning I was already in the class filled with those deemed as failures. Well, now that my mother is in trouble, I wonder if I actually do have to become a shinobi. I could just casually drop out, no problem, right?
The teacher soon came in, and he was your average shinobi. I mean that in the worst possible way. He was so average-looking with his brown hair and black eyes that I wasn't sure I could even pick him out of your average civilian crowd.
"Welcome to Class 1-B everyone," the man said with an all-too-average voice. "I'm your sensei for the next six years."
I forced myself not to roll my eyes. I mean, what a fucking drag this man was. I bet he's still a virgin...
The man said his name, but I forgot it within three seconds. He then did roll call, calling out a bunch of extras, a few people I did know, and then myself. "Uchiha Tenrō."
"Here," I called out, not even pretending to be enthusiastic about being there.
"Uchiha Obito," he said next.
"I'm here!" Obito yelled excitedly.
I forced myself not to cringe at his loudness. Dear God, why is he in my class? Shouldn't he be with Kakashi and Rin or some shit?
The man nodded before setting his clipboard down. He gave us all a totally fake cheerful look as he said, "I hope that you all treat each other well during your years as classmates."
I rolled my eyes as I slouched down in my seat.
"Now, I'm going to pass out a test to see what you kids do and don't know," he said as he pulled out a stack of papers.
I groaned loudly with the rest of the class.
He ignored us as he began to walk down the aisles, handing out papers to each student individually.
I soon received mine and realized I probably would pass with flying colors considering how much I knew about the shinobi world. As I looked down at the questions, I almost deadpanned. I wasn't even being asked about basic shinobi skills.
It was all math, science, literature, and history. It was like they honestly expected us to flunk out, so they wouldn't put forth the effort to actually teach us.
I pursed my lips as I was left with two choices: be a genius or be an average flunky. I decided to stay a flunky for one reason - I would impress the fuck out of everyone when I managed to graduate with a perfect grade on my test. I made sure to make many small errors on my test that would eventually give me a grade of barely passing. I then passed my test in with the rest of the children and watched the man start glancing at them.
"Good," the man approved before suddenly pausing. His brow furrowed before he pulled a paper out of the pile, holding it up to his face. "Uchiha Tenrō."
I shrunk down a bit as all the kids looked at me. "Yep, that's my name."
The man flipped the test over, giving me a frown. "What is this?"
"A... test...?" I replied questioningly.
"I have never had an Uchiha in my class fail this test so astronomically," he stated, causing other children to start snickering.
"Hey, I did the best I could!" I objected.
The man stared at me incredulously before looking down at my paper again. "This is ridiculous. You'll never become a shinobi with this amount of knowledge."
"Great," I said, causing everyone to look at me in shock. "I never wanted to be a shinobi to begin with, but Kaa-chan said something about honor and redemption. I wasn't really listening at the time, but that's the gist of it."
The teacher frowned as he set my paper aside. "You can go to the principal if you really don't wish to be a shinobi."
"Maaah, it's too far away," I complained as I shoved my hands in my pocket. "I'll stick around until I gather up enough energy to actually want to go to his office."
The man gave me a look that clearly screamed his confusion. He obviously wasn't used to a student such as myself.
"Anyway, when's lunch time? I'm hungry," I stated as I rested my chin on the desk in front of me.
The man sighed deeply, deciding that I had wasted enough of his time and energy. "In any case, we're going to be doing a test outside now with Class 1-A."
Aaah, shit, I thought as I was forced to line up with everyone, It's gym class all over again.
We were led outside and around the side of the school where there was a circle already set up.
Uuugh, sparring... I internally whined as I stood with my class, the other class already being out there waiting for us.
"Took you long enough," the sensei of class 1-A said with a grin.
The sensei of my class glanced down at me, but I pretended not to notice. "Yeah..."
The sensei of class 1-A quirked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything more on the topic. Instead, he grinned down at the kids of his class and chirped, "It's sparring time!"
"Woah!" A child cheered excitedly.
"Sweet!" Another kid exclaimed with his fists in the air.
How youthful, I thought blankly, not at all feeling the same way they did.
"Someone from Class 1-A will spar with someone from Class 1-B. That way, we know each other's sparring abilities," the sensei from the other class explained, causing me to frown.
That's setting everyone up from Class 1-B to fail. What the fuck kinda education system is this? I thought as I stared ahead at the man.
"Now, we'll split you into pairs," the man stated as he held up a clipboard. "First up, Hatake Kakashi."
"Uchiha Tenrō-"
"Objection," I said, holding my hand up. "How am I, with my pathetic twig arms, going to take on the son of the Hatake Sakumo, who is undoubtedly at par with the Three Legendary Sages?"
The teachers glanced at each other in surprise.
"How do you know about my father?" Kakashi asked coldly.
I scoffed. "Everyone knows your father. I mean, his powers are legendary. Every other country knows his name and face because of how awesome he is. Do you honestly expect that someone from a prestigious clan like myself to not know him?"
Kakashi looked taken aback.
"Besides, 9/10 - would smash," I said, making an okay sign with my right hand.
The teachers sputtered as the children made confused noises.
"Tenrō!" My sensei yelled at me.
"You have a problem with gay people?" I snapped.
"You're six!" He yelled back.
"And my mother's a whore! What do you expect?!" I demanded to know as I threw my arms into the air. "I should know! She sleeps around with more men than Orochimaru has jutsu!"
"Impressive," someone commented.
My head snapped around so fast, I nearly broke my neck. I saw the snake sennin himself standing under a tree with a rather wide smirk. Ah, shit. I forgot he doesn't leave Konoha until after Minato is selected as Hokage. I wisely decided to open my mouth. "Shouldn't you be with Danzō right now?" I made a shooing motion because I was not about to be a pedophile's next body.
My sensei slapped the back of my head before forcing me to bow down. "I'm sorry, Orochimaru-sama! This one doesn't know how to control his mouth yet!"
"How did you know I work for Danzō?" Orochimaru asked curiously.
Fucking... Shit! I internally cursed at the top of my lungs. I slapped away my sensei's hand and looked up at Orochimaru. "Look, I don't feel like sharing that information with you because I don't trust a certain someone in that organization. Like, 10/10 would let them die in a merciless hellfire that lasts seven days and seven nights."
"Oh?" He seemed highly amused.
"Yep. They don't even deserve that blaze of glory, but I'm a very generous person," I stated before snickering at my wonderous pun.
"How would you dispose of them then?" Orochimaru asked.
"You know that wire trap over a hole used to dismember people and then bury them? That, except the hole leads to magma within the earth so no one can ever revive him," I stated.
"People can't be revived!" some extra yelled at me.
Ahhh, shit, I thought as Orochimaru's eyes twinkled with curiosity, I should not have said that. What kind of moron gives Orochimaru hints about a jutsu used to revive the dead?
Me, apparently.
"Tenrō, enough stalling. Get into the circle with Kakashi," my sensei said as he put his hand on my shoulder and politely shoved me toward the white circle on the ground.
I sighed as I stood across from Kakashi, who looked extra cute today with his little green scarf on. 8/10, would smash when you got older. I would still smash your father first tho.
"Now, you are going to make the Seal of Confrontment," the other class's sensei said as he made the hand sign.
I did so with a huge sigh, Kakashi doing it without any emotion.
"Whoever gets pushed out of the circle first is the loser," my sensei continued.
"Now, start!" The two yelled in unison.
I groaned as Kakashi got into a proper fighting position. I then got into a half-assed one and held up my fists. "You know, if you put your thumbs inside of your fist like that, you'll break them. Also, straighten out your wrists unless you want those snapped."
Kakashi looked at me bewildered.
I used his moment of distraction to send a jab his way. I watched him step back while moving to my left side.
Kakashi ducked down, swinging his leg around.
I could have moved if I wanted to, but I let my legs get swept out from under me. I fell on my back, and Kakashi was on me like Chōji on the last potato chip in the bag.
He pulled his fist back, but didn't swing down, instead holding me there in a defenseless position.
"Oh no, I lost. Who could have ever predicted this?" I asked aloud, the sarcasm in my voice so clear, I was surprised Kakashi managed to keep a straight face. "I mean, the loser of the Uchiha Clan up against the son of Hatake Sakumo? What a fair match."
"You purposefully lost, didn't you?" Kakashi demanded to know.
I snorted. "Nah. I would have lost even if I put effort into it, but I just don't feel like it today."
"You're training to be a shinobi. You should always put effort in," Kakashi said as he looked down at me with something akin to disgust.
I sighed before putting my hands 9on his shoulders. "Look, the Naras don't put effort into anything, but they don't need to because of how advanced their minds are. Furthermore, we're in times of peace right now. I honestly don't need to put that much effort into becoming a shinobi until the next war comes around."
He brushed my hands off of his shoulders as he stood up. "Why are you even here with that attitude?"
"You'll understand the inevitability of death one day," I assured the Hatake as I extended my hand out. "Now do what I'm doing so we can finish the match. It's called the Seal of Reconciliation, and it's used to show that we are still comrades after our spar."
Kakashi looked to his sensei, who eyed me while nodding in approval. He did as instructed, linking his hand with mine.
"Also, next time you dodge, move to the opponent's dominant side," I advised, "That way, when they strike, and you dodge, you'll have an opening to hit them harder."
Kakashi looked bewildered as I wandered back to my class and flopped down on the grass.
"Nap tiiime!" I declared as I closed my eyes.
"Hey, hey," Obito whispered as he knelt down next to me. "You know more about fighting than even Kakashi, right?"
"You could say that," I agreed as I closed my eyes, basking in the sunlight like a lizard.
"How do I get better at it?" Obito asked curiously.
"Instincts are half the game, followed by adrenaline, and finally power. The first two you'll get naturally over time with more and more fights, but power you have to train to get," I explained, "In the shinobi world, those who have better instincts always win the fight. So, basically, do some exercises and training, but mainly start working on fine-tuning your senses."
"Could you... show me?" Obito inquired hesitantly.
I opened my eyes, looking at the Uchiha blankly. I then sighed before agreeing. "Yeah, sure. I have nothing better to do with my time."
And that is not only the day that I was registered on someone's watch list, but I also made my first friend in the Naruto world.
Oh, and as a side note, Tenko had to release custody of me as per Hokage orders, and I was allowed to live on my own next to Obito. Yay for me.