— あ —
𝟷𝟻:𝟸𝟷
→ THURSDAY 17th SEPTEMBER 2020
♫ LIES - WILL JAY
AS ONE WEIGHT left jungkook, another burden was quick to fill its vacancy.
and that was guilt.
jungkook may have unlocked a vintage part of himself after decades of being buried away out of reach and out of sight, but he still had a life in the present with eunha. a life that he had been so sure about before was now so unclear. he found himself wandering in a limbo between two lives.
one with jimin and the other with her.
already having a taste of the life that he could continue living with eunha, whereas the life jimin offered was merely painted by the brushes of his own imagination. and yet, the uncertainty of it all was what made him more eager to mould into an entirely new lifestyle for him.
jungkook had done it once in the past and he was willing to do it again. all to be able to feel the happiness that his past selves had felt when they abandoned everything just for the blonde.
jungkook had already comprehended that it would be cruel to keep living both lives. he had to commit to one and abandon the other. tear one away from the home in his heart in order to allow another to grow and blossom in its place. it was selfish to even consider hoarding both to himself.
as much as he wanted to neglect the haunting voices that told him to make a choice, jungkook knew that he would have to make a decision before time made sure that he was left with no options to even consider.
drawing closer to his apartment, jungkook was still unsure of which path he should follow and who would accompany him down it. kicking at the soft cotton carpet as jimin stained every thought that his mind could manufacture. unsure of whether or not his mind was trying to tell him what choice to make or if spending so much time with jimin had allowed the blonde to infect his mind.
"where the fuck have you been?" after years of working with the older male, jungkook could identify yoongi's voice from the very initial scolding word that took flight from his lips. "yoongi? what are you—."
"i came to find your dumb ass only to find eunha in tears. why the hell did you leave her alone?" as the older interrogated him, the only thought that could pour adrenaline into his veins was the question of whether or not eunha had somehow found out about him and jimin. "w-wait what happened to her?" jungkook puzzled, wanting to make sure that he didn't end up exposing himself along with everything else that he had been concealing all this time.
yoongi scoffed at his question. the scoff scarring jungkook's senses with how sharp and rough it was.
"eunha is pregnant."
in that moment, jungkook's entire body became paralysed. failing to compute the sudden announcement he was met with.
it seemed as if fate had done so much to intertwine jimin's and jungkook's lives together, only to be forced into an entirely new density that he was unsure of whether or not he wanted it at all.
fate was a bitch.
"you should be more happy, jeon. do you know how many other people would love to be in your position? about to get married to a beautiful woman who's expecting to have your baby?" though as much as yoongi questioned the younger detective, he already knew the reason why he failed to have the same elated reactions other fathers-to-be shared.
or rather, he knew the person behind it. "this means you have to finally get your act together. no more jimin. no more staying out late. eunha needs you more than ever right now and you need to finally stand up and be a good fiancé for once."
expiring as he knew that he was standing as an obstacle for jungkook to see eunha. "don't fuck this up anymore than you already have."
"you need to find yourself again. the good and happy jungkook again." yoongi spoke.
but that's not the real jungkook.
and i don't want to live a lie anymore.
— あ —
𝟷𝟾:𝟶𝟽
→ THURSDAY 17th SEPTEMBER 2020
even if the outside world was still alive in the warmth of the dying summer sun, the night club was always able to find its walls full and bustling with life no matter what the world was like outside. after all, there was always someone in the city who filled the cracks of their broken life with alcohol and preying on those who had no choice but to move for their own entertainment.
it was a restless cycle that could never meet with its conclusion.
a night of living in an soft erotic fantasy was all temporary and the liquor that they consumed could only keep them trapped for so long underneath its spell before it had to release them. and yet, even if they knew that the effect of their visits were temporary, they always came back in hopes of it lasting for just a couple of minutes longer.
jimin had already done his duty in keeping those with shattered souls from being reminded of the broken life they must have possessed in order to find themselves at a place like this at this hour.
slipping off the pearl, medium-length wig that he was forced to wear in order to lure those watching him into the lie that he was a woman. the visitors to the club may be left with nothing but the motivation to drink until they were numb of the world, but they didn't pay to see a man dancing. and they certainly wouldn't be delighted to discover that they were getting off to a man embraced in woman's clothing.
as fractured as the club's visitors may have been whenever they found themselves within the borders of the sinful establishment, they were just as just as conservative and reluctant to embrace change as the rest of the country was.
it was all just a matter of time until jimin's time came. however, as jimin wiped away the sparkling persona of 'ivory' with the aid of his vanity mirror, he questioned whether or not his lifetime would be able to witness that change occur. but the blonde couldn't be gluttonous when he had jungkook now. or rather more of jungkook than he possessed before.
with his attention stitched to the reflection trapped in captivity, he remained naïve to the danger that was stalking closer and closer.
the figure, entirely adorned in a lightless charcoal, only created the image of an animated shadow that was on the hunt for someone to feed its infatuation for blood. a gun firmly arrested within its grip. fully loaded with the bullets that would soon be spat at the blonde.
the grim reaper was standing right by jimin's dressing room door and he still remained blind to the predator that bathed in the black corridor. barrel already aligned with the portrait of the now bare faced male. the trigger easily able to pulled to dictate the matters of life and death.
one simply twitch of a finger would permit all of the suffering to end.
and yet, the pistol that sat within their grip began to shiver as if winter's breath had invaded the room.
"raven?"
"i-i can't d-do it."
the gun fell into the cradle of gravity as it met with the floor; chaperoned by a loud thud. raven's body was only able to collapse along with the metallic weapon as twin currents of saline trickled down here cheeks only to reunite on her chin.
"h-hoseok wanted you d-d-dead and p-paid me—b-but i can't do it to you. i can't k-kill you jimin. you're m-my entire world." the ebony haired woman confessed to the male who couldn't quite absorb all of the information that threatened to swallow him whole. yet, his arms were still engulfing raven's trembling frame.
after all, raven had been with him longer than anyone else had attempted to.
he shook his head as he continued to listen to her pleads of forgiveness. running his hand up and down her back to lure her back into some sort of composed state. "you're okay be hushed into her ear. "you can leave this place and keep hoseok's ass in prison until he's old and grey. would you like that?" jimin asked; his question met with hesitation all until he felt her nod her head.
"yes."
— あ —
𝟷𝟾:𝟶𝟽
→ THURSDAY 17th SEPTEMBER 2020
"we can't tell your dad otherwise he'll literally kill me. especially since we're not married yet."
hours had slithered past the couple, and yet barely anything had been exchanged between the two. barely a word. hardly a single, solemn moment where they bathed in the pupils of each other's eyes.
after all, what else could be really said?
eunha was pregnant and jungkook was arrested by his own morals to the path that starred her and banished jimin from the lime light.
"do you really think i'm that stupid to tell him that?" eunha questioned even though she didn't wish to know his answer. simply snuggling more into the nest of linen sheets that she had created while yoongi had attempted to console her. "look—we-we can deal with this. we planned to have a family at some point, right? we're just starting it a little bit earlier than we originally planned." as much as jungkook was reminding himself about all of the reasons why he had proposed to her in the first place, something felt wrong in his heart.
the flower that had bloomed in the spring of their relationship had been kissed by autumn's lips and had already been sentenced to death by winter's chilling touch before jungkook could notice or even attempt to save it.
the roots of his love for eunha had been torn with the appearance of his memories from his past.
almost feeling as if the last time that he had loved her in that way was the morning of the funeral. love for her being evicted from his mind in order to home the other memories that were plaguing his mind with every day that past. unable to keep the feelings tightly secured within his hold as the love he once had simply slipped through the gaps in his hands like sand. unable to be pieced back together now that it was spread throughout millions of minuscule grains.
jungkook had needed that love more than ever and now it abandoned him right when he had needed it. he needed to be able to give eunha the love that she deserved. the love that their baby needed in order to grow up happily.
but there was nothing he could do to capture it again. not when jimin had stolen his heart.
"i know it's stressful that this has all come so suddenly, but everything will be okay." jungkook spoke out.
it won't be okay when you find out.
"we wanted a family and we're finally able to have one. it will be just like we talked about before."
a family isn't a family without any real love.
"i'll always be here by your side, for the both of you, alright? we can schedule a scan and get everything that you and the baby could possibly need."
you're only here because you've been forced to.
"i love you."
no you don't.
if you loved me i wouldn't have had to do this.
i wouldn't have had to lie.
i wouldn't have had to do any of this.
i wouldn't have had to put us through this.
but you didn't give me a choice.
you say you love me now.
but you won't any more once you find out i'm not pregnant.
"i love you too." eunha expired through a shivering breath.
(A/N)
shocker 🤭