●Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror
●I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
●I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!
●I wish I could mute people in real life.
●I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
●Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer.
●Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
●Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.
●Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
●You can never buy love, but still you have to pay for it.
●I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention!
●I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
●I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
●If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
●I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
●I’m not lazy, I prefer the term “selective participation”.
●I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.
●I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.
●Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her!
●Never give up on your dreams keep sleeping.
●Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
●I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
●I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
●I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
●“3 words more beautiful for a married woman than I LOVE YOU: No Cooking Today”
●Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
●Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
●The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.
●You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
●In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
●Women’s apology: I’m sorry, but it was your fault.
●Yes of course I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
●Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up
●I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
●The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
●I’m not crazy I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
●I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist. I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.