(Warning: This chapter also contains mentions of substance use. This may/may not be recurring but if there's any major major uses I'll throw this warning back up. Anything else should be minor)
S1 E7
I hopped off the bus, my usual iced caramel macchiato in my hand and my headphones on my ears as I walked the last few blocks to Beverly High. Jordan still hadn't messaged me since the morning of the block party and I was getting a bit worried. Now it was homecoming week, and maybe he was just busy. Maybe he was practicing, or making plans with JJ for an after party.
Maybe he's planning to ask you to homecoming.
The thought crossed my mind and I laughed softly to myself. I shouldn't even expect that. I don't even know what we are, so homecoming had been the furthest thing from my mind. As I crossed the parking lot, checking the time on my phone I stopped just as after I passed a Jeep parked along the sidewalk. A chunk of my brain, the rational side, said to walk away and don't turn around. The irrational side says turn around. Look. And so I look. Inside was Jordan and some brunette I'd never seen... making out. I nearly choked on my drink and hurried along as if I hadn't seen anything. In all honesty I wish I hadn't. I gripped the strap to my backpack tightly as I made my way to my locker, keeping my head down and avoiding talking to people as I made it. I sighed heavily in defeat as I opened it, doing my usual switch of binders and books for the morning.
"Morning Lexi."
The sudden voice startled me for a moment before I turned and shut my locker, "Morning Spencer."
He smiled though it seemed a bit forced, "You doing alright? I saw you up at the block party, but didn't get a chance to talk to you. Wanted to make sure you were doing alright."
I tried not to remember the sound of gunshots echoing in my head as I forced a smile, "Oh yeah I'm fine. That's Crenshaw y'know..."
Spencer bit his lip as he looked down at me, shifting his gaze around before settling back on me with a serious expression, "I also saw you leaving Shawn's place that day."
I swallowed softly and started walking down the hall, motioning Spencer to follow, "I was just making sure he was a-alright. He helped me carry the food so I knew h-he was there."
Spencer clicked his tongue, "Cut the crap Lexi." He lowered his voice to a whisper, "I know why you went there and what you got from him. You know you can't have that stuff. We're athletes. That could get you in a whole lotta-"
I cut him off, "I know! Jeez Spencer get off my case. It was one time."
"One time is all it takes!" He huffed in frustration as we came to a stop outside my first class.
"Look. Spence. I'm dealing with it. Ok? Just don't hound me right now. It's not a good time. Try later or something." I mumbled the last bit of my sentence as I walked into class, sighing as I took my usual seat.
Third period rolled around and Jordan didn't come and claim his spot across my shoulder, so I walked to class solo, until someone else joined me.
"Little Lexi seems a bit lonely today. Where's your bestie?" Asher was now beside me, a smug look on his face, "Wait I think he's busy sucking face with a rival cheerleader."
I sighed and tried to keep my cool, "Walk away Asher. I'm not here for your drama today."
Asher took it upon himself to accompany me to class none the less, "It's alright. Going solo to homecoming isn't the worst thing."
With that he left me to myself, peeling of to a different class. I shuffled into third period, claiming my seat and staring at the empty seat in front of me. Just as the bell rang, Jordan sauntered into class, a gleeful look on his face as he claimed his seat. The class started and Jordan dropped the first note.
J: what's cooking good looking?
L: nothing really. You?
J: excited for hoco and the game!
L: that's cool.
J: ??? You good bestie?
Bestie.
The word sounded so bitter in my head now.
L: peachy
J: aww c'mon! JJ told me about you going solo to the dance. Is that what's got you down?
L: yeah I am but I'm not down about it. I'm fine
J: good. You shouldn't be. Going solo can be fun too since there's a lot of us going :)
L: yeah. Can't wait
After Jordan passed back his response I changed the topic to something I could at least pretend to be excited about. How could he act so casual? Like nothing was wrong or going on? I guess I really just played myself with Jordan Baker.
School came and went, followed by volleyball practice, and then got roped into a group trip to the cafe we frequented by JJ. I sat with Jordan, Asher and JJ as we ate and talked about school and mainly homecoming. Spencer had just finished delivering a homecoming proposal pizza to the table near ours then walked up to our table and was added to the conversation. I had kept myself out of the conversation, only attempting to listen halfheartedly.
"Oh too many options? Don't wanna break any hearts?" Jordan asked and gave a wink after Spencer confessed to going solo.
I glanced up from my plate to glare at Jordan for a second before turning to look at Spencer, who clearly had seen me due to the strange look on his face, and his hesitation before continuing the conversation.
"Nah it's just not that deep is all." Spencer defended before walking off to keep working.
"You know I can support going solo." Asher commented and ate a fry as he looked at me with a slight smirk before turning to Jordan, "Beats going with a rival."
Jordan rolled his eyes, "Oh come on guys. Ripley's just a girl. Who cares where she goes to school?"
'Ripley.' Even thinking the name made me want to throw up in my mouth.
Asher and JJ shared a look before they laughed, "Traitor." Asher spoke a bit childishly and laughed with JJ.
I finished off my drink and wiped my hands, "This has been fun and all but I'm gonna get going."
I started to pick up my bag, "Need me to take you home?" Jordan wiped his mouth as he spoke.
I shook my head and with a slightly forced, but sweet smile I spoke, "Nah I'm good. Think I'll just take a solo walk to the bus."
I heard Asher snort, attempting to not choke on the drink he was taking, as Jordan looked at me confused and I hurried out of the cafe, past Liv and Layla who were sitting outside.
"Lexi?" I heard the girls speak softly in unison, but I just kept going.
Could this day get any worse or embarrassing for me?
"Lexi wait up!"
Oooof course it can.
Jordan appeared by my side as I came to a reluctant stop on the sidewalk outside the cafe, "Hey, are you sure you're alright? You've been acting strange all day."
I brushed my hair back with my hand and nodded, "Just fine. Just not in a dance mood I guess?"
Jordan's eyebrows show up in disbelief, "What?! It's homecoming. How could you not wanna go?"
I just let out a soft sigh. This conversation was going to get me nowhere since he doesn't take no for an answer easily. When I didn't say anything and just looked at him, Jordan's smile faltered and his face grew a bit worried.
"There's something else." It wasn't even a question and yet I felt compelled to lie.
I shook my head and laughed a bit nervously, "Oh no it's nothing. Really. I got a bus to catch so I'll see you later." I walked away as Jordan just watched my back, surely confused and concerned.
After a long walk of not taking the bus home, and another stop by Shawn as he stood outside of a convenience store, now here I sat once again. On my back porch debating if I was willing to risk it all for this again. Our game earlier in the week went off without a hitch and so maybe it wasn't the worst thing I could do. My phone lit up beside me and I checked the screen.
Spence 🏈
Aye you going to the dance tomorrow?
I scoffed softly before I responded.
Lexi
Nah. Not my speed y'know. Not Crenshaw 😂
Spence 🏈
Ait I feel that. I'm not feelin the dance either. Maybe I'll slide thru and we can watch some movies or somethin 🤔
Lexi
Sounds fun. Lmk :)
I put my phone down and proceeded with what I had started. The flame danced from the lighter and I inhaled, watching the flame pull into the joint and a smile finally graced my lips as I leaned back. Today was a day unlike any other. I reached and touched my neck where a necklace would've been this same time last year. This weekend was gonna be a long one and hopefully I'll have someone by my side through it all. But hope is hard to hold on to nowadays.
~
Spencer's POV (the next day)
I sighed as Coop sat in front of me and I leaned forward, finally clear on my resolve, "Alright I'll go to the dance. But I'll need a date."
I wagged my eyebrows a bit and Coop laughed. We shook and stood up. I smiled down at Coop until I remembered something. I ran a hand over my face with a soft mumbled 'oh shit'.
"What?" Coop asked confused.
"We got one more thing to do." I told her simply.
I pat her on the shoulder and she followed me out the house and down a few blocks. We walked for about 10 minutes or so before I turned up a walkway to a house.
"Uh Spence? Who lives here?" Coop looked around the yard uneasily.
I chuckled, "You'll see."
I knocked on the door a few times and heard some shuffling inside. I waited and Coop joined me on the front stoop as the door finally opened and I smiled.
"What's happening sis?" I opened my arms for a hug.
Lexi smiled a bit and hugged me and then Coop before ushering us inside, "What're you guys doing here? I thought you weren't coming by til later Spence."
Coop and I walked in and Lexi went to sit back on the couch, where it looked like she'd been all day judging by the snack wrappers, soda bottles and blankets tossed around the couch.
"I came to ask you to be my date to the dance." I said plain and simple. "My other date that is. Coop kind of asked me first." I whispered jokingly.
Lexi had just put a piece of chocolate in her mouth and nearly spit it out, "I'm sorry what? Did you hit your head at practice? I told you I wasn't going."
Coop moved the stuff beside Lexi and sat down, "What you mean you not going? It's a dance, and last I checked, AJ Rosen likes to dance."
We both laughed at this, but Lexi just looked down at her hands, "Nah you guys go together. I'm not in a dancing mood."
Coop grabbed her hands and pulled her off the couch, much to Lexi's protests and started goofily dancing with her, "Come on girl. Can't let all this Crenshaw goodness go to waste! Gotta show these Beverly boys how we rock!"
Lexi was laughing and put her hands up, "Alright whatever. I'll go. I guess..."
She didn't seem excited at all, but I smiled anyways, "Great. We're gonna get ready and head to the Baker's. I'll hit up Liv and have her come get you to get ready."
I didn't wait for her reply, and I motioned for Coop to come on so we could leave and get ready. Whatever was weighing on Lexi had her really upset, but this dance was sure to cheer her up.
Lexi's POV
I stood in Liv's room, holding my dress up against my body as I twisted a bit in the mirror. Even though I hadn't considered homecoming, Mrs. Baker insisted I buy a dress for the event when she took me shopping. I sighed and put the dress back on the bed, sitting beside it as Liv came out, pressing out the wrinkles from her own stunning dress.
"Ok girl come on! You've been moping since the moment I picked you up. And I saw it at school too but I didn't have time to come and ask what was up. So spill." Liv placed her hands on her hips in anticipation.
I sighed and laid back on the bed, "I don't want to go. I don't want to see everyone having a good time with their dates..."
She rolled her eyes, "Is this about not having a date, or is this because Jordan does?"
I sat up instantly, "It's nothing like that!"
Liv laughed and sat beside me, "Lexi chill. I saw the two of you kissing in the car one day. I know something was going on."
I ran my fingers through my hair, "It's just so confusing. One minute Jordan and I are... I don't know, and then the next we're just even more... I don't know! And now he's going with Ripley without so much as a second thought about me. He thinks I'm upset because I'm going by myself. It just wouldn't suck so bad if I hadn't thought-" I cut myself short on finishing my thought, tears stinging my eyes.
Liv rubbed my back softly, "I'll tell you what. Jordan is gonna see you tonight and realize exactly what he missed out on. And I'll be there so you can come find me if you need me."
I sighed and nodded my head, still reluctant to go. I put on my dress and pulled out my accessories. I allowed Liv to do my hair and makeup and I could hear the chatter from downstairs as everyone was arriving.
"And done!" Liv spoke triumphantly as she applied the last of the lip color.
I stood in front of the mirror, looking at myself worried in the mirror, "You sure I can't back out and take a limo home?"
Liv walked up behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders, "Lexi you look absolutely gorgeous. You'd be doing yourself an injustice by not coming now."
I laughed meekly at her and we grabbed our clutch bags and phones as we left the room. We descended the first couple of steps and I stopped to let Liv go down first. All the voices stopped and I knew Liv had drawn everyone's attention to her. How could she not? That silk red made her look like a goddess.
"Last I checked I don't have to run my dates by you." I heard Liv snap at Jordan as I was brought back to the reality of standing still in fear.
I stood still at the steps, gripping the railing tightly, "Wait where's Ash and Lexi?" I heard Coach Baker ask.
The door opened and I heard Asher shout something as I took in a soft breath. I began descending the steps, my heels clicking softly as I came into view and all eyes turned to me. I wore an amethyst purple dress, a gentle shimmer of sparkle coating the fabric, the soft material of the spaghetti straps of the dress were resting gingerly on my shoulders. The dress hugged me nicely and came down to drape the floor. There was a split on the left side and the back was out of the dress. A heart shaped necklace with amethyst stones filling it instead of silver diamonds hung perfectly from my neck and diamond earrings dangled gently. The accessories belonged to my mom. Liv went with an easy smoky eye with the purple shadow and my lips were stained a soft pink and burgundy ombré color. My choice of shoes were a pair of black gladiator styled heels. I clutched my black purse tightly in my hands as I made it almost all the way down the steps with everyone still staring.
"Woah..." The word escaped Jordan's mouth, earning him a glare from his date.
I let out a shaky breath and made my way over to Spencer, who hugged me gently, "You look amazing Lexi." he whispered to me softly.
Coach Baker started with pictures and we lined up, posing and smiling as if today was the happiest night of our lives. After pictures we all loaded into limos to take us to the dance. I sat between Spencer and Liv on the trip, trying to ignore the side glances Spencer was giving Chris about being Liv's date for the dance. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't doing the same thing as Jordan and Ripley laughed and played with each other.
Spencer places his hand on my slightly shaking leg and whispered in my ear, "I know how you feel. But beating yourself up won't change it. Only you can."
I smiled a bit as I felt my nerves calm just a bit, "Yeah. I guess you're right." I paused for a moment and gave him a confused look, "How did you-"
Spencer cut me off, already knowing what I was gonna say, "I'm not blind. And anyone with a set of eyes can see how you look at him."
I laughed a bit softly to myself and leaned my head on his shoulder, finally trying to release all the nerves and concern I had bottled inside me. As the limo stopped, we started out of the car. Chris then Liv. Jordan and Ripley next. Coop exited and then Spencer. I paused and looked down at my clutch again, sighing as I made my way to the door, accepting Spencer's outstretched hand, and we made our way inside.
Let the night begin.