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chapter five | snape in a dress
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Madison Catalina Jordan, first and middle name named after her two grandmothers, meant many different things to many different people.
To most, she was Lee Jordan's, just as troublesome, younger sister and (sometimes) partner in crime. She was a hyperactive, humorous and comedic individual with a good heart - though she had a tendency to not hesitate in expressing her opinion for others. Throughout her daily life, she offered unnecessary commentary during lessons, events, and everything in between that many found amusing. To most, Madison Catalina Jordan was the life and soul of the party, and there was never a dull moment, as long as she was around.
To the people she quite proudly called her friends, she was a loving girl with high spirits, who constantly frustrated them with multiple different things - like her lack of ability to remember to take her Iron Potion to treat her mild anaemia every week - or to remember to remove her records from the phonograph in the Gryffindor Common Room once they'd finished playing - or to get in all of her homework on time in her lessons (except that one might be accidentally on purpose). Still, Madison Catalina Jordan had a heart of gold and her friends couldn't imagine a world in which they wouldn't love her to the death. To them, she was a sunny, reckless and passionate girl they planned on keeping forever.
And then, there was those in between, who weren't quite sure of what to make of the brown-eyed girl, one of those people being Ronald Bilius Weasley.
She was a magnet to trouble - not in the same sense that Harry Potter was - but rather with the fact that it was because she would do something to trigger a long line of events that trailed after her, wherever she went. Even if she couldn't help it. But it was still sometimes annoying. Or frustrating. And yet, with her witty commentary serving her classmates everyday, most, not all, of the people who had sworn they found her annoying, or even stretched to hating her, somehow ended up warming to her. Maybe it was because she told everything how it was, or because she was the one to say what everyone else was thinking. Or maybe she had some strange magical ability to draw people to her. Who knows. But, to those who weren't sure what to make of Madison Catalina Jordan, she was... certainly something.
And so, when arriving for Defence Against the Dark Arts today, Ron tried his very best to not even look her way. He was best friends with Harry Potter, for starters, that already got him in enough trouble, without having Maddie Jordan thrown into the mix as well. Like, come on, that's just taking the piss?
But, she's so funny, and says the things everyone wishes they were brave enough to say. She was still nice to him even when he'd straight up called her annoying behind her back (which he still felt incredibly guilty for). She'd fought Malfoy with him in the last Potions lesson, and had the guts to sabotage, not only a Slytherin's but one of Snape's favourite students in his lesson. Talk about ballsy.
And then he was beginning to wonder why over the past week he'd been so determined to dislike the girl. Maybe it was because she'd replaced his best friend's seat - but, he had to remind himself, it wasn't her fault. It was Snape's. Ron was starting to wonder whether he should rethink his ideas - but not right now. He'll stay away from her, right now, because in all honesty, he's a bit confused.
And then, as if on queue, Maddie and her two friends had turned up right behind him, Harry and Hermione, ready for their first lesson with Lupin.
"-yeah, well, if he's anything like the last teacher we had, I won't hesitate to blow up his cabinet," said Maddie. She still had an incredible hatred for Lockhart, purely because of personal reasons and his lack of control for some particularly tiny blue creatures.
"Third time lucky, hopefully," said Jake, referring to their new teacher, as the the trio proceeded to enter the classroom.
And, it turned out, Professor Lupin wasn't even there. Everyone decided to sit down and take out their books, parchment and quills, chattering loudly before he finally walked in.
"Good afternoon," he said. "Would you please put all of your books back in your bags - today's a practical lesson. You will only need your wands,"
"Nice!" Maddie grinned. The class exchanged curious looks.
"Ooh," said Jess. "We've never done a practical before!"
"Not unless you count Lockhart and his lovely pixies," said Jake.
"Don't remind me," said Maddie.
Long story short, last year their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher turned out to be useless - and set a cage full of pixies loose. She'd ended up with one tangled between her brown curls, yanking her head all over the place. She had to slap it into the wall to get it to stop - which she felt awful for, afterwards, but what else could she do? Another one had taken away her wand, she was in a right mess.
"Right then," said Lupin. "If you'd follow me,"
Everyone, though puzzled, followed their teacher with sparks of interest, as he lead them out of the classroom and down the hallway - the first thing they saw was Peeves the Poltergeist.
"Please tell me we're practicing spells on Peeves," Jess grinned. "That'll actually make my year,"
"Loony, loopy, Lupin," the Poltergeist sang. "Loony, loopy, Lupin, loony loopy Lupin-"
Everyone looked quickly towards Professor Lupin, to see how he would react. As rude as he was, Peeves always showed even the slightest amount of respect for the teachers. But Lupin was still smiling.
"He's almost as annoying as you, Mads," said Jake, nodding at the Poltergeist before glancing the brunette's way with a teasing glance.
"Ha, ha,"
"I'd take that gum out of the keyhole, if I were you, Peeves," said Lupin. "Mr Filch won't be able to get to his brooms,"
"Awe, what a shame," Maddie muttered to Jess, and the two sniggered.
But Peeves ignored Lupin, so he sighed, and brought out his wand.
"This is a useful little spell," he told the class. "Please watch closely,"
With a force of a bullet, the wad of the chewing gum shot out of the keyhole and straight down Peeves' left nostril. Maddie let out a laugh as the Poltergeist zoomed away, cursing.
"Cool, sir!" said Dean with a bright expression.
"Thank you, Dean," said Lupin, putting his wand back away. "Shall we proceed?"
It turned out, he'd taken them to the staff room, long and filled with old, mismatched chairs, which were empty - apart from one teacher. Maddie's expression turned to slight disgust, and she exchanged looks with Jess. No way, was Snape going to be joining them for this lesson? Please no.
But thankfully, Snape was equally as repulsed at seeing the group and their teacher, and willingly excused himself before the lesson started.
"Leave the door open, Lupin, I'd rather not witness this," he said, with a nasty sneer, getting up and heading to the doorway. He turned on his heel and looked directly towards their teacher. "Possibly no one's warned you, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear,"
Neville's face turned scarlet and Maddie clenched her jaw. She wasn't sure what Snape's strange addiction to bullying children was all about, but he already did it enough in his own lesson without having to drag it into someone else's.
"Neville's not the only one who doesn't understand your instructions," she said, practically throwing any sign of intelligence out of the window. "I don't either, to be fair, and we're not exactly twins. Perhaps it's something to do with your teaching,"
If looks could kill, Maddie would be long gone and Snape would be done for murder. His face was pale, his glittering eyes flashing an expression of fury hiding behind the slight humiliation.
A few students glanced her way with wide eyes, some gasped, some, including Seamus and Dean, making that weird 'Ooh' sound - Maddie, though had talked back to teachers, many, many, times before, had never brought up their actual methods of teaching - especially Snape. She'd thrown herself right into the deep end, there.
Even she was thinking, Oh shit, good job, Mads. Why did you say that? They're gonna bring back whips as punishment, before long, you're fucked!
Harry was beaming at her and Ron was staring at her in amazement. Neville had glanced at her with appreciation, though his face was still burning red. Jess snorted, and Jake brought his hand to hold the bridge of his nose. Diana Silverstone gazed at her with a face of shock, though she was wearing an extremely visible smirk.
Lupin wasn't quite sure what to do, and so ignored Maddie's comment. But she could've sworn he'd let a smug look slip before composing himself, yet again.
"I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation," he said. "And I am sure he will perform it admirably,"
Neville wasn't quite sure what to do with himself, and Snape's lip curled before he shut the door with a snap. Maddie stared in disbelief - how the fuck she'd gotten away with that, she didn't know - and seemingly, nobody else did, either, as they all glanced her way, yet again. All she knew was that her next Potions lesson was going to be hell - which was no different than normal, anyway, so she wouldn't sweat it. The worst he could do was give her another detention, and they were like second nature to her anyway. Unless he writes to her parents... or gets Dumbledore involved...
Shit.
Still, Maddie did a small fist pump when he left, and a small murmur broke out. Lupin hushed everyone, quickly.
"Now then," he said, beckoning the class towards the end of the room, where there was nothing except an old wardrobe in which the teachers kept their spare clothes. As Lupin went to stand next to it, it gave a small wiggle, bashing against the wall. Several students stepped back.
"Nothing to worry about," Lupin said, calmly. "There's a Boggart in there. Intriguing, isn't it?"
Not many students seemed to think so.
"Now, can anybody tell me what a Boggart looks like?"
"No one knows," said Hermione.
"When did she get here?" Maddie heard Ron say.
"Boggarts are shape shifters - they take the face of whatever a particular person fears the most. That's what makes them so-"
"-So terrifying, yes," Lupin finished.
Maddie's enthusiasm had since dropped at the news the class would be facing a boggart. She wasn't even sure what hers would end up being - she didn't have any phobias, or anything like that. Sure, she'd run around her house bricking it when Lee chased her with his stupid tarantula, but anyone would if they were living under the same roof as an eight legged creature that big.
"You can't hit that with a newspaper, it'll hit you back! Do some spider Kung Fu shit!" she'd previously said to her friends when expressing her stressful encounters with Lee and his bloody tarantula.
But, she still wasn't afraid of spiders, it was just Lee messing with her that struck a nerve.
Maddie glanced around the class to see if anyone else was feeling the same way she did - and thankfully, she was seeing many other uneasy expressions as everyone eyed the wardrobe.
She caught sight of Diana edging slightly to the back of the class. But she wasn't just nervous at the idea of facing a boggart, she was wearing a face of pure horror. Maddie frowned. What was Diana so afraid of that made her so petrified of facing a boggart? She's a Silverstone. That family name was one of the most powerful in the Wizarding Community.
Why was Diana so scared?
"So, the Boggart sitting in the darkness within has not yet assumed a form. He does not yet know what will frighten the person on the other side of the door. When I let him out, he will immediately become whatever each most of us fears,"
Neville let out a small splutter of terror. Diana had backed so far away, she'd accidentally stepped into Malfoy, who was eyeing her weirdly. He clearly knew something was up with her, too. Her friends, Allison and Daphne had only just noticed her disappearance, and turned their heads to look at her, puzzled.
"This means," Lupin continued. "We are at a huge advantage over the Boggart, before we begin. Have you spotted it, Harry?"
"Er," he said, awkwardly. "Because there are so many of us, it won't know what shape it should be?"
"Precisely," said Lupin. "It's always best to have company, when you're dealing with a Boggart. He becomes confused - which should he become, a headless corpse, or a flesh-eating slug?"
Maddie was trying to work out how, of all things, a flesh-eating slug could become someone's worst fear.
"I once saw a Boggart make that very mistake - tried to frighten two people at once, and turned himself into half a slug. Not remotely frightening."
Many student's nervousness eased slightly, at this news.
"The charm that repels a Boggart is simple, yet it requires force of mind. You see, the thing that really finishes a Boggart is laughter,"
"That's good then," Jake muttered to his two friends. "Get Maddie to start talking, and it'll be gone in seconds,"
"Oh, you make me blush," Maddie said playfully.
"What you need to do is force it to become a shape you find amusing," Lupin continued. "We will practice this charm without our wands, first, after me, please: Riddikulus!"
"Riddikulus!" the class repeated.
"Good," said Lupin. "Very good. But that was the easy part, I'm afraid. You see, the word alone isn't good enough. And that's where you come in, Neville,"
The wardrobe shook again, as Neville walked forward, trembling.
"Right, Neville," said Lupin. "First things first - what would you say is the thing that frightens you most in the world?"
"He better not ask me this, because I don't have a clue," Maddie whispered to her friends.
Neville's lips moved, but no noise came out.
"Didn't catch that, Neville, sorry," said Lupin cheerfully. Neville looked around, as though begging for someone to help him, before he said, in barely more than a whisper,
"Professor Snape,"
Nearly everyone laughed, and even Neville himself grinned apologetically. Professor Lupin looked thoughtful.
"Hm... Professor Snape... Neville, I believe you live with your grandmother?"
"Er - yes, but I don't want the Boggart to turn into her, either,"
"No, no, you misunderstood me," said Lupin, now smiling. "I wonder, could you tell us what sort of clothes your grandmother usually wears?"
Neville looked startled, but proceeded to say, "Well... always the same hat, a tall one with a stuffed vulture on top. And a long dress... green, normally... and sometimes, a fox-fur scarf,"
"Rank," Maddie whispered to Jess, who snorted.
"And a handbag?" Lupin asked.
"A big red one," said Neville.
"Right then," said Lupin. "Can you picture those clothes very clearly, Neville? Can you see them in your mind's eye?"
"Yes," said Neville. Everyone was frowning, wondering where this was going.
"When the Boggart bursts out of the wardrobe, Neville, it will see you and assume the form on Professor Snape," Lupin said. "Thus, you will raise your wand - thus - and cry 'Riddikulus' - and concentrate hard on your grandmother's clothes. If all goes well, Professor Boggart Snape will be forced into that vulture-topped hat, the green dress, that big red handbag,"
Maddie's face lit up.
"Brill!" she said loudly, as a chorus of laughter sounded. The wardrobe wobbled more violently.
"If Neville is successful, the Boggart is likely to turn his attention to each of us in turn," said Lupin.
And so, Lupin made everyone have a moment to think of what scares them the most in the world - Maddie ending up accidentally daydreaming about something else, because she had no idea. Jess was biting her lip in concentration, and her two friends already knew what the Boggart would turn into, if it faced her.
Jess was the most squeamish person in the world, and the sight of blood made her incredibly faint - which was a bit unfortunate for her, being best friends with Maddie, who somehow got herself into all kinds of accidents.
Maddie already knew Jake was a raging hypochondriac, and so began to wonder how the Boggart would shift if it ever met him. Perhaps somebody riddled with illnesses? Who knows.
And still, Diana Silverstone was standing at the back of the class with her eyebrows creased and her arms crossed, an extremely worried expression plastered all over her face. Clearly she was struggling to make whatever it was she was afraid of amusing. Maddie wished she was a Legilimens so she could work out what that girl's greatest fear was.
"Everyone ready?" Lupin asked. Maddie certainly wasn't, but whatever. She'll be able to think of something on the spot, if it turns to face her.
"Neville, we're going to back away," said Lupin. "Let you have a clear field, all right? I'll call the next person forward... everyone back, now, so Neville can get a clear shot,"
Everyone retreated, leaving Neville alone. He looked pale, and frightened, but, still, he pushed his sleeves of his robes, and was holding his wand ready.
Lupin counted to three, and a jet of sparks shot out from his wand and hit the doorknob. The wardrobe burst open, and, as expected, Snape stepped out, his eyes flashing at Neville, who backed away, mouthing wordlessly.
Snape was bearing down upon him, reaching inside his robes, as Neville held his wand up.
"R-r-riddikulus!" he squeaked.
And then, the best moment of Maddie's entire day happened.
Snake stumbled, and a crack sounded - he was wearing a long, lace trimmed dress and a towering hat, topped with a moth-eaten vulture, swinging a red handbag.
There was a huge roar of laughter, and Maddie wished she had a camera. The Boggart stood, confused, and Lupin yelled, "Parvati, forward!"
Parvati walked forwards, her face set. Snape rounded on her, before another crack sounded and in front of them stood a mummy. It moved slowly towards her, dragging its bandages and feet.
"Riddikulus!" she cried.
And it turned from a mummy to Seamus' banshee, which soon turned to a rat, and then a rattlesnake, and then a single eyeball.
Maddie was right in thinking it would be blood, for Jess, for when she stepped forward, the Boggart shrank to the red liquid and slides towards her...
"Riddikulus!"
Another crack sounded, and a severed hand crawled towards Dean.
"Riddikulus!"
Ron stepped forward and Maddie jumped back at the sight of his worst fear. A giant spider, six feet tall and covered with hair was advancing on the ginger, clicking his pinchers menacingly. For a moment, it was as though Ron had froze.
"Off the bat, I feel like I'm in hell," Maddie said to Jess, who laughed. Her face was still slightly pale from freaking out at the blood.
"Riddikulus!" Ron bellowed.
It rolled over and fell at Diana's feet - she jolted back in fear, and tried hiding behind Blaise Zabini so it would advance on him, instead, but it was too late. Maddie watched curiously - and it shifted, splitting into to two people.
The class came to a halt, as Diana stared, wide-eyed. Many confused faces appeared.
Before the white haired girl, stood two figures - one, a tall man with long, dark hair and pale skin. The other, a woman with hair just as white as Diana's, but more curly, rather than her soft waves. Both were looking down at her menacingly, with vile smirks.
She raised her wand, but Allison stepped in front of her, diverting the Boggart's attention to her, instead. A crack sounded, and it turned to an evil looking clown.
Maddie and Jess were one of the many confused students, staring at the white-haired girl who had turned away to Daphne Greengrass, her back to the rest of the class. Realisation had set in for Jake, though, and his brows furrowed in pity.
"Who was that?" Maddie asked him. He paused, before saying, quietly,
"Her parents."