(a/n): this chapter might be triggering for some people (sexual abuse) so if you don't feel comfortable with this don't read It!
If you experienced anything like that pls always know that you are very strong and brave, even if you haven't reported It. No one should ever have to pass through something like this. You're going to survive this, stay strong💞
The next morning you woke up not even a little bit excited about your assignment with Commander Ren and General Hux. You would have to dance for disgusting men and get information from one of them. Even though Kylo said you would come back to the Finalizer with them you felt slightly scared. They could decide that leaving you behind would be better. But you couldn't let your insecurities affect the mission. You had one goal. You were going to focus on It.
You dressed your uniform and under It wore a set of white lingerie. You already put your heels on so you wouldn't have to carry them in a bag. You fixed your hair and put makeup on to not look so tired.
You left your quarters and made your way to the cafeteria to eat something before leaving. You looked at the clock and you had half an hour to eat and get to the hangar in time. You shoved the food in your mouth and saw Kay coming in your direction. He sat in front of you and had a wide eyed look on his face.
"What?" You asked, thinking there was something wrong.
"Wow, you look beautiful." He said, his face blushing. "I mean, not that you don't look beautiful everyday, It's just that you look even more stunning today." You laughed at his nervousness and smiled. A genuine smile.
"Thank you. It's part of the job. To look presentable." You said twitching your mouth. He sighed and kept looking at you like you were a piece of art. You blushed and stared at your food. He was so sweet to you, your heart skipped a beat every time you looked at him. You looked at the clock again and you had to go or you'd be late.
"I gotta go, if I'm late I'll get my head ripped off." He smiled and you glanced at him one more time before turning at the corridor. You arrived at the hangar just in time and no one was there yet. For a second you panicked thinking that something was wrong, but your opinion changed the second you heard the sound of heavy boots hitting the ground. You waited by the ship for him and General Hux, followed by five Stormtroopers.
"General." Hux greeted you and entered the ship, Kylo right by his side. "Commander Ren." He quickly stopped and turned his head to you.
"We're leaving." He said entering the ship. You followed right behind and felt really uncomfortable with all the testosterone that surrounded you. They all sat down as one of the Stormtroopers prepared the ship for take off. You looked around and noticed that there was nowhere for you to sit. "Great." You mumbled to yourself.
"Is there a problem?" Kylo said looking at you, his voice was firm. You cleaned your throat and looked down.
"No Sir." Yes there was, but you didn't want to cause a scene in front of the Stormtroopers and especially Hux. They didn't need to see you melting under Kylo's touch.
"Prepare for take off." The Stormtrooper said, and you grabbed a metal bar near you to hold on. The ship took off and you got out of balance, almost falling. You heard the Stormtrooper near you laugh while looking at you. You didn't really have a good temper by this moment.
"The fuck you're looking at?" You said, clenching your teeth and ready to punch him. You heard General Hux cleaning his throat and you stepped away from the scumbag that was laughing at you.
"I suppose you have a better outfit under that for our meeting." Hux said looking at you from head to toe like you were wearing a trash bag. You rolled your eyes and sighed. You were tired of his shit so why not have some fun during this little trip, right? You took off your shirt to show the lingerie you were wearing under It. By now every single person on that ship had already seen you on your underwear during performances, so It was not that big of a deal. You threw your shirt on him and he had a mischievous look on his face. You could feel their looks locked on your - almost - exposed breast.
You looked at Kylo and saw his fists clenching. He didn't dare to even turn his head to you. In that moment you felt completely in control. The ship rocked a bit and you took the opportunity to tease him a little. You pretended to almost fall and leaned your chest close to his face and put your hands on the wall right next to his helmet. You could feel him breathing heavily even under that mask. You smirked and straightened your body again.
"Ops. My apologies, Commander Ren." You turned around and your ass was practically on his face during the rest of the trip.
"Prepare for landing" The Stormtrooper said and Kylo immediately got up and stood behind you. You couldn't help yourself and smirked. You slightly rubbed your ass against the hardness under his pants and stepped forward, driving him crazy. The ship landed and he left, General Hux by his side. You walked beside the Stormtroopers and saw the leader of the planet already waiting for your arrival. They looked like humans, so It wouldn't be so hard for you to defend yourself if they tried anything.
"Commander Ren, General Hux. Welcome. Should we go to the club to continue out meeting?" One of them said. He was a short middle aged man. Seemed to be very rich, the planet was really urban. He wore golden necklaces and bracelets.
"Of course. We even brought some entertainment." Hux said pointing at you. The Stormtroopers opened their way to you and you walked forward, looking at the man. He looked at you like he was eating you with his eyes and you felt disgusted.
"We don't have much time, make It quick." Kylo said, already walking away. The man finally stopped looking at you and walked beside the Commander.
"Of course, this way please." The man led you to a club, It looked like the one you used to work. It brought back some memories you would like to forget. Your hands started to shake but you quickly managed to drift this thoughts away so you could focus on your mission. You got inside and they entered a private room. Hux stopped at the door and turned to look at you.
"The target is the man that greeted us when we arrived. Wait a few minutes and then come inside." You just nodded and waited. You looked around and It was pretty much empty. Just one stripper at the main stage and a few people sitting at the bar. You went to the bathroom and took off your pants to get ready. You stared at your reflection in the mirror and tried your hardest to not think about what happened in your past. You were safe, you knew how to handle that kind of situation now. Even though It was hard to not think about It, that's what you had to do. Shut your emotions off.
You waited for a while and entered the room. The second you got in they all looked at you. You saw your target with two more man by his side seated, Kylo and Hux seating beside them. There were three Stormtroopers glued to the walls and the other two were guarding the door.
You saw the pole near you and slowly walked up to It. You spun around It and listened to their conversation.
"I wish I had one like her. She has something else." Your target said, staring at your body. You were already hating this. But you didn't stop in any moment, you continued to dance around the pole and seduce him. The rest of their talk was majorly just business and other boring stuff. When you noticed that your target wasn't paying attention to you, you stared at Kylo and smirked.
"Come here darling." The man said, gesturing for you to come closer. You hesitated but slowly approached their table. You looked at him and sighed. "If you excuse me gentlemen, I'll enjoy the entertainment you have brought." You immediately froze as the man got up and touched your back, leading you to a room located beside the one you were in. You felt your heart beating faster and your body was filled with fear. You had to take control of the situation otherwise he could do something to you. As you reached the room you immediately pushed him to sit on the first chair you saw, to show him that you were in control.
"Okay then." He said smirking. You placed yourself behind him and put your hands on his shoulder, slowly going down to his chest and stopping right above his pants. You heard him grunting.
"Such a rich man. So powerful." You leaned over him and whispered on his ear. "I wonder... How?" You walked around him and stopped in front of him. You kneeled and opened his legs, your hands slowly going up to his waist.
"You can get whatever you want when you have no sides doll face. Do business with anyone that offers something valuable and done." He was definitely helping the Resistance too. You had the information, you wanted to leave, but you didn't know how. You felt stuck. The man got up and grabbed you by your waist, pulling you to him. "So hot. Can you feel my hard dick under my pants?" You were completely disgusted and frightened. You remembered your self defense trainings in the past and used them on your favor. You pushed him away and kicked him in the balls, making him fall on his knees and you punched him. You took one of your heels off and placed yourself behind him, putting the heel on his throat, It was sharp enough to cut It and kill him.
"You try another thing like that again and I won't hesitate to kill you, got It?" The door opened and General Hux came in with Kylo Ren by his side, followed by the Stormtroopers.
"He confessed. He is helping the Resistance too." You said. Hux gestured with his hand and the Stormtroopers grabbed his arms and dragged him out of the room. You put your heel again and felt the adrenaline rushing through your veins. You kneeled on the ground and closed your eyes, trying to shut off your feelings. The memories were passing through your head constantly. You felt your whole body shaking and tears were forming in the corner of your eyes. You felt like you couldn't breath properly, like you were suffocating and you were going to die. You tried to look around but all you could see was your old dressing room, all you could feel was that man touching you and you screamed, you screamed so much that your throat was burning. After what It felt like forever you came back to reality and saw Kylo standing in front of you, waiting.
"We're leaving. Come." He said turning around and leaving. With all the strength left inside your body, you stood up on your feet and followed him to the ship. As you got in, just like before the Stormtroopers were occupying all the seats available. You didn't had any energy to argue with anyone so you just accepted and stood on your feet. The ship took off and you just kept quiet.
"It was not a failure after all. Good." Hux said looking at you. You didn't say anything, just nodded. You were not in the mood to deal with his grumpy attitude. Your head was filled with other stuff. Stuff you wished you could just forget. Your fists clenched and you felt sweat coming down your back. Just don't think about It, everything is fine. It was a long time ago, you're safe. You kept telling yourself that so you wouldn't lose control. You took a deep breath and hoped that thought would go away.
The ship finally landed and you didn't even wait for them to leave first, you practically ran before they could even say anything. You just needed to get to your quarters and take a bath. You saw Kay at the hangar like he was waiting for you, but you quickly passed by him without saying anything. He probably noticed you didn't want to talk so he didn't insisted and let you be on your own. You finally arrived in your quarters and you immediately got under the cold water. You rubbed the soap against your skin so hard that It almost hurt. You let the water fall on you and wash the foam from your body as you gently massaged your hair.
You turned the water off and wrapped a towel around your body as you walked out of the bathroom to your bed. You felt all that sadness and anger pooling inside of you since that day because you were constantly denying to yourself that It happened. You didn't want to believe, you thought It made It easier. But It didn't. You were just lying to yourself. You allowed the emotions to take over you and just let it all out. You needed that. Before you could even reach your bed you sit on the ground and lean your back on the wall, crying. You hold your knees close to your chest and release all that pain. The memories invaded your head again and It felt so real, like It was happening right now. Even though It was years ago you still remembered every single detail. You couldn't remember his face or his name. But you knew that It happened. You didn't know for how long you cried, but It was long enough for you to fall asleep on the cold floor.
You felt relieved for letting all out, finally. It hurt like hell, but It was like getting a weight out of your chest.
After waking up you put your uniform on again and looked for Kay to at least try to explain why you ignored him earlier at the hangar. You left you quarters and searched everywhere but you couldn't find him. You just saw a bunch of Stormtroopers and officers. You looked around the empty cafeteria and no sign of him. You shrugged and made your way back to your quarters.
You reached an unknown corridor and realized you were lost. "Great. I'm lost. How the fuck did this happen?" You mumbled to yourself, looking around and trying to recognize something but you didn't. You heard the sound of heavy footsteps approaching and you swallowed. You felt a tall and strong figure right behind you. When you turned his chest was inches from your face, sending shivers down your spine. You looked at him, staring at his hidden eyes.
"Commander Ren." You said. It was so quiet you could even hear his breathing.
"Going somewhere?" He asked, with a husky voice. You cleaned your throat.
"I was just looking for someone. I was returning to my quarters." He stepped forward, making you step back and closer to the wall.
"Who?" His voice was firm and gravelly. You were in complete loss of words and your mouth was half opened like you were waiting for your voice to come out, but nothing came out. "I asked, who?" He said, his voice louder, sending vibrations through your body. Your back glued to the wall and you felt the heat of his body against yours, a wave of electricity rushed through you.
"Uh, just a friend. Sir." He didn't move a muscle and your chest was going up and down. You felt like your heart was going to explode out of your chest.
"I see. Why?" He was way too interested in this subject. But his voice was so gravelly and firm that you didn't dare to keep him unanswered.
"Because I wanted to." You said, and he came closer to you, his cold helmet rubbing against your cheek. He grabbed your neck, and your feet left the ground, your face was now at the same height as his.
"What did I say about that attitude?" His grip on your neck increased and you felt an invisible force holding your wrists down so you couldn't move them.
"Let me go." You said clenching your teeth. He could get under your skin so easily It was annoying. You felt his gaze penetrating your soul even under the mask. You were dying to see his face. "You don't scare me." You heard an almost silent chuckle from him.
"Do not test my patience." You could feel the hardness under his pants rubbing against you, between your legs and you held back a groan. He released you from his grip and you fell on the floor. You lifted your face up to look at him. "Let's see how long that attitude of yours will last." He said turning around. "First corridor on your left. You should be able to figure It out the rest of the way." You watched him as he left and released a deep breath. You found your way back to your quarters and as you got in you went straight to your bed.
You wanted to feel him against you so fucking bad. You craved him. And every time he did something like that you only wanted him even more. You felt your clit and walls throbbing and your hands reached down your pants. That was the first time you were masturbating thinking about Kylo Ren. And you were pretty sure that It wouldn't be the last one.