The middle of June. It was the final day of school before summer break, and I was not ready for it to end. Not that I ever gave a shit about school; I was a straight-C student, but now that it was over...
"Stop frowning, you big weenie," Jacob said, shoving me around the hall one last time. "It makes you look like you actually give a shit about life."
Jacob laughed as if he just told the best joke in the world, which he did not, nor was he capable of ever doing. I loved him, of course, but I'd be taking that with me to the grave.
"Seriously, Canary Bird, what's up?" Jacob asked. "It's the last day of school. You should be celebrating!"
"You're totally right," I said dryly. "I guess I'll go lose my virginity tonight at some random keggar with a really mediocre-looking dweeb."
Jacob rolled his eyes, and we kept walking, dodging sobbing cheerleaders, and students grabbing each other's asses just for the thrill of it.
"Who's the lucky guy who'll deflower you tonight?" Jacob asked.
'Who said it would be a guy?' I thought.
Jacob chuckled, and gestured over to a kid who just couldn't wait long enough to actually exit the building to smoke.
"How about him? Knowing you, you'll wanna start little."
I stared the pothead kid, and quickly realized that I knew who he was. Not well, of course, but we had a few classes together the past ten years.
"Stanley Barber?" I said. "I'd rather finger myself, thank you very much. You know, like your girlfriend has to, since you're such a disappointment."
"Fuck, bro, that's cold!"
Jacob threw his car keys up, and caught them mid-air. The yellow rabbit foot on the keychain swung back and forth before Jacob put his keys. It perfectly matched the yellow converse he had stolen, and the dyed ends of my brown hair. Yellow was the Forsman color. It used to just be Jacob's thing, but what could I say? I liked taking things that weren't mine.
We still had, like, a whole mile to walk until we got to the front doors, but lucky for us, the side doors were unlocked.
We took a right through the art hallway, and through the "emergency" door; the door that only groaned when you open it. We'd probably know by now if it actually called the cops, since we'd been using it for years.
"Ah, fresh air," Jacob said. "How I've missed you."
"It smells like weed."
"So? It always smells like weed."
"Yeah, but you just said the air was fresh," I explained. We walked into the teacher's parking lot, where Jacob had parked his car. "This is diluted air, at best."
"Why the fuck does it matter?"
"It matters because you're wrong."
Jacob unlocked his side of the car, and got in. I pulled the handle to the passenger door, but it wouldn't budge. Jacob looked at me smugly from the inside.
"Open the door!" I shouted, knocking on the window.
"Take it back, then."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because Principal Fuckface is walking towards us, and he looks pissed that we're back here."
I looked back at the side entrance, and saw that he was right. The wretched man was coming right at me, a cigarette hanging down from his mouth.
"He'd probably like to smack me upside the head for parking here, but lucky for me, I'm no longer his student," Jacob continued. "You, on the other hand, just finished sophomore year. He's still got the chance to get you."
"Okay, okay, you're right!" I shouted. "I'm sorry. Just let me in the car!"
The lock inside clicked, and I pulled the door open, almost tearing it off its hinges. I slammed it shut once when I got in, and Jacob was already giving the car gas before I could put my seatbelt on. I grabbed for the belt, and locked myself in as Jacob made a tight left turn out of school boundaries.
"Jesus, Jacob, you're gonna get us killed," I said.
"It's better than staying in this town," he muttered. Jacob slammed on the breaks before he could hit a kid. The freshman kicked the car, swore, and walked off. "I hate it here."
"I know." I looked over at him, but his lazy grin had disappeared. He looked so sad now.
"One day, Canary Bird, one day."
We drove in silence, and I rested my head on the side window. The glass was cool against my skin, and I could feel every bump in the road as we would pass it by. I could see myself in the side mirror, white and miserable. I made a face, and my mirrored-self copied it exactly.
"What are you gonna do now?" I asked Jacob. "With your life, I mean."
"Save up my money," he said. I'd heard his speech a million times, but I always found comfort in it. He knew what he wanted to do. "I'm gonna keep working at the auto-repair shop, maybe earn an extra job on the weekends. Melissa wants us to move into an apartment, but I keep telling her we've gotta wait for the right time."
As he spoke, I imagined Jacob in a few years. He'd finally grow out that scratchy beard he always wanted, and he'd just be covered in car grease. It'd stain his nails, but he wouldn't care. Melissa, his girlfriend since fourteen, would paint his nails black, anyway.
"After two years, I'll propose to Melissa," Jacob said. His face looked to be carved from stone, but his eyes – a darker shade of blue than my watery ones – were full of life. "I'll get her a ring, sure, but nothing too fancy. I'll take Mel out on a stroll down the road we met on, and propose with a screenshot of our California house. I've got it all planned out."
He had for years. I wish I could have as much love for life as he did. But I'd probably be stuck in this town for the rest of my life, stuck with Dad, and whatever stupid person could afford to rent out the basement.
"I'll miss you," I mumbled. Jacob said nothing back.
I watched the streets pass us, blurring out of sight. We drove through run-down neighborhoods full of partially clothed children running around with no shoes on. They clustered in groups, laughing, cheering, holding hands. I never liked kids, but at a distance they were cute.
We drove to our house, but Jacob didn't pull into the driveway. He kept driving on.
"What the hell, man?" I said. "Why'd you pass it?"
"I've got something to show you."
We kept driving, and left the neighbors altogether. We passed Mom and Pop shops, as well as the only grocery store in town. Jacob drove forty in a twenty-five street, and he didn't care. He never slowed, he never looked back.
Jacob parked in Dan's Garage, his second home. He got out the car, and I followed him inside the shop.
"Melissa, baby, how are you?" Jacob said as he strolled over to the counter. He gave her a quick kiss before hopping over the side. Jacob jogged into the storage room, leaving me alone with his girlfriend. Not that I really minded.
Melissa was a redneck, just like 99% of this goddamn town. Even so, she was pretty. She kept her straight black hair long, something I could never do with my impatience. Melissa was also incredibly smart, passing high school with flying colors, something I also could never do. She was everything I wasn't, but I loved her nonetheless.
"What's up, Kara?" Melissa asked. The silver jewel in her tongue glittered in the shop lights as she spoke. "How was school?"
"Fine." I leaned against my side of the counter, trying to spot Jacob from his hiding spot. "How's the shop?"
"Boring."
So nothing had changed since yesterday, or last month. Nothing new ever happened.
"Do you know what Jacob's looking for?" I asked. Melissa nodded. "Are you going to tell me?"
"Found it!" Jacob called out from the back room. He came back holding two large milk cartoons, one in each hand. He hoisted them up onto the counter, leading to a loud plop from the weight. It was no surprise they were heavy. Both of them were filled to the top in coins and cash.
"Holy shit," I said. "How much money do you have there?"
"One hundred seventy-six thousand, nine hundred twenty-nine dollars, and sixty-four cents," he answered. "All collected from two years working at Dan's Garage."
"Melissa, is that a lot of money?" I asked. Melissa nodded with a smile.
"And I'm still planning to work here another two years, so if you double that, you get–"
"Three hundred fifty-three thousand, eight hundred fifty-nine dollars," Melissa said, "and twenty-eight cents."
"That's not including what Melissa's got saved up after working full-time for a year," Jacob said, snuggling up to his girl.
"You guys are gonna ditch me quicker than I thought," I said. I forced a little laugh out, but I was scared. Without Jacob, I had no one. I hated the thought of being alone.
"Ditch?" Jacob asked. "You're coming with us, Canary Bird."
The door to the shop rang, and Dina wandered in, playing with the strings on her backpack. Too bad Sydney Novak wasn't with her. Those two were almost inseparable. I just wish I could be that close to her. Sydney, with the hot temper and big boots; who quivered her lip when she pouted. Dina may have been more attractive out of the two, but Sydney was... Well, she was Sydney.
Dina gave me a nervous smile, breaking me out of my bubble when she got up to the register.
"Hey, Kara," she sung. "Do you work here?"
"I do," Jacob announced before hopping over the counter again. He landed beside Dina with his workplace charm. Dina blushed.
"I, um, my car is acting up?" Dina said. She had her arms wrapped around her chest. She had always been quite conscious about her looks, barely even opening her mouth so people wouldn't see her braces. But I thought she was beautiful.
"What's wrong?"
"The windshield wiper has been acting weird," she explained. "I think I need a new pair."
Jacob began walking her around the shop, explaining what she'd need, how to do it, and shit like that. They didn't need to explore the shop, but Jacob did it for Dina's nerves. He could read people ever so easily.
I snorted. This wasn't even Jacob's shift.
I thought back to what Jacob had said before Dina walked in. They weren't going to leave me behind. I'd need to get a job, then, make some money to save up on my own. If I play the nice card this year, maybe I could even get free spots in my schedule senior year that I could replace with an extra hour of work.
"Mel, do you know anyone who's hiring?" I asked.
"Hiring?" Melissa repeated. Dina and Jacob came back to the counter. Melissa took the wipers and scanned the price. "I don't know anyone who's hiring right now." She turned towards Dina. "That'll be sixteen dollars, and thirty-seven cents, hon."
Dina swung her backpack off her shoulder, and looked through the pockets for money. She pulled out a neat twenty dollar bill, and slid it over to Melissa.
"I think the bowling alley is looking for help," Dina said, glancing over at me. She smiled sympathetically. "I didn't mean to listen in on your conversation. Sorry."
"Nah, it's all good. The bowling alley, huh? I didn't know that place was still open."
"Oh yeah. I went there a few weeks back with Syd." She brushed her frizzy hair behind her ear, beaming at the memory. "She hated it so much, said it was a waste of money. But you should definitely apply there. It's gotta be an easy job, just handing out shoes. Like, literally anyone can do that."
"Your change is three dollars and sixty-three cents," Melissa said, handing her the money back. She put the wipers in the bag, and gave that to Dina as well. "Have a good day."
"Yeah, you too," said Dina to Melissa. "I'll see you sometime, Kara?"
"Probably. It's a small town."
Dina exposed her pink braces when she smiled, and waved us all goodbye. She quickly walked out of the shop, leaving me alone with my family again. The family who would be moving as far away from this town as possible soon.
"She's cute," Melissa said, leaning over the counter.
"Dina's getting her braces off soon, too."
Why did I know that? Because I heard Sydney talk about it with her in World History. She was wearing a gray hoodie over her shirt that day.
"So," said Jacob, "how'd you like to shine bowling balls for money?"
°•°•°
Jacob and I watched Fiddles Diner pass us on our way back home. I missed that place. We used to go in every Saturday, buying a thing of fries, and just talk. But that was back when stealing money from Dad was cute and harmless. By the time Jacob was ten, he'd have purple bruises decorating his wrists from every time he'd get caught.
"Do you remember that place?" I asked.
"Of course." He didn't take his eyes off the road. "If you get that job at the bowling alley, we'll go out to eat. How does that sound?"
"We can't afford that, are you kidding?"
"Canary Bird, I've got a hundred-thousand dollars saved up. I think I can lose ten bucks. Plus, with your job, we'll easily make that up."
I smiled. "Yeah."
We drove back home, and lucky for us, there were no other cars parked in the driveway, which meant we didn't have to sneak in like usual. Today was just my lucky day. I grabbed my backpack, and followed Jacob inside.
The house was as hot as a dumpster fire, and it smelled like one, too. Dad said we couldn't afford air conditioning, but opening the windows would make the heat even worse. The stench, however, was strange.
I pinched my nose, and opened the front window to let out the stink. Jacob had his shirt up to his nose as he walked to the kitchen-side of the room. I went to open another window, and heard Jacob cuss to himself.
"I forgot to empty out the trash today," he explained. "I hope you weren't hungry, Canary Bird. Looks like our eating privileges are–" He blew a raspberry, and gave me a thumbs-down.
"We can fix it though, right?" I asked. "Before Dad gets home. We've got an hour still."
"It would take a miracle to air this all out."
"We can always try. Let's open these windows."
"It'll be hot."
"But it'll smell a lot better."
I had to climb onto the couch to unhinge the locks on the next window. It took a few yanks, but I managed to open it, exposing the dusty netting behind it. A warm breeze blew in, bringing yet another flurry dust with it. I coughed, jumping off of the couch.
"Are you gonna help, or not?" I asked. Jacob nodded, and got to work opening the other windows.
I got down the hall, peeling my shirt off as I did so. If we were gonna let hot air in, I might as well change for the weather.
I found my room, and dug through the dresser for a tank top. A ratty pink undershirt was all I could find. The rest were just giant t-shirts and bralettes.
"No, fuck that," I said to myself. I walked over to my desk, and found my scissors in the mess. I'd just have to make my own summer shirt.
Going back to my dresser, I looked for a shirt I didn't wear too often. Too bad for me, I only owned eight shirts, and I wore them every single day. I'd love to go buy myself a new tank top, but I wasn't exactly made of money, as already said a million times today by Jacob.
Did I dare cut up my gym shirt from middle school? It brought back many memories of being young, and uglier than I was today.
I didn't need to make it more clear to myself that this was the shirt. I took my scissors, and cut off the sleeves. Just because the shirt pissed me off, I snipped a few inches off of the bottom, too, just for funsies.
The full-sized mirror I got for my thirteenth birthday (thanks, Grandma) laid against the wall. I made my way over to it, and slipped the green shirt over my lucky blue bra. I had decided its luckiness, because the first day I started wearing it, someone punched Jordan McDonald in the face, and I found ten bucks on the floor. That was a good day...
I examined myself in the mirror, doing a little pose. The shirt looked like shit, and it exposed the fact that I haven't shaved since May when I ran out of shaving cream. I could also see wonderful red zits that my white-ass skin loved to accentuate. The yellow dye in my hair was beginning to fade, and my brown roots were coming back.
In other words, I was hot. Physically and metaphorically, of course.
I opened the window in my room, and found the fans in the closet. Carefully, I pulled one of them out, showing off a cluster of things behind it, one of them being a bird cage. I used to have fond memories of that thing, carrying around a yellow canary, singing its broken songs with it. I had even tried to dress up as it in second grade, earning me the nickname Canary Bird by my brother. Back when we were all happy.
That was when Mom still had her "foot massage" business. The business that turned out to be used to launder money for years, and was busted when I got into third grade. Dad had tried to bail her out, selling everything we had, but she still had to serve her twenty-three years in prison. It made him batshit crazy. I think he honestly believed that he could have gotten her out if it wasn't for me and Jacob. Dad loved to remind us how expensive it was to raise us, despite spending the bare minimum already.
I missed Mom. I missed the old Dad who genuinely cared that we existed. Being caged up was fine then, because they showed me love. But now my parents were basically gone, and I was a canary bird left in that cage to die.
I had to get out.
And I would. Two more years, and I'd be outta here.