I sit in front of the couch in nothing but my faithful blue bra and dinosaur underwear. Even after three long showers, I can still smell that bastard's blood on me.
With months of living with Stan under my belt, I've become noseblind to the couch's smell of cigarettes and beer. I clasp my hands together, and press them between the end of the couch cushion and my forehead. And just like I do every day, I pray to my brother.
"Hi, Jacob," I say. "It's me, Kara. If you would have told me last week that the former love of my life, Sydney Novak, would blow Bradley Lewis' brains out, I... Okay, I probably wouldn't be that surprised. Seeing the way Sydney looks – well, looked now, I guess – at Brad, I'd say he had it coming this whole time. But if you had told me last month, I would have been surprised. I'd ask why I'd even need to know this, because one month ago, I didn't even know Sydney. At least, not like I do now."
The carpet is itchy under my knees, and I can feel it leaving me fancy tattoos as I speak. I shift my weight so I'm sitting on my ass, and continue.
"Let Sydney be safe," I say. "She never deserved anything that has happened to her. She's going through things I'll never understand. Syd's got a little brother, too, and... And I don't want him to go through what I did."
My hands are sweaty again, and I unclasp them so I cam wipe them on my thighs. Somehow, my hands are freezing cold to the touch. But I know it's not the chill that makes them uncontrollably shaky.
I put my hands together to finish my prayer.
"You've done so much for me recently, and I'm very thankful, don't worry," I say. "But please let Stan be okay. I wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for him. I owe him my life, and..."
The words I need just won't come out. I can see his smile in my mind's eye. My Stanley. I can't believe it took me so long to realize that I liked him – loved him. But now he's hurt, and I might not even be able to say even that to him.
"Thank you for everything," I finish. "I'll see you soon, Jacob."
I stand up, and shake the pins and needles out of my legs. Just like I had predicted, there's new carpet indents in my knees. Yay.
The air conditioning finally turns on, and a soft breeze circulates around the room. I slip on a my old, pink work shirt, and go down to Stan's room. Bradley had beat the shit out of him, but Stan should be fine. I mean, that dummy does have a thick skull.
And to think I only met him this year.
I sit on Stanley's bed, brushing the hair out of his eyes. I should be taking him to the doctor, but I know he couldn't afford that type of visit. Veronica did the best she could. I just gotta hope it will be enough.
It's been a tough few months for us both, but we managed through all right. And we'll do it again. Just like before, back in–