That morning was probably the craziest morning I had ever had and I had had some crazy ones. Like that time dad, Lenny, Eric, and Kurt were having a spatula fight in the bathroom. Yeah, don't ask.
Oh, yeah! Let me explain the Lenny thing. The Feder family moved about a year ago, where to? Here of course! I can't explain how estatic I was when I found out. I had never been able to forget about the curly brunette I met at the Earnshaw Lakehouse. Despite my liking of Greg Feder we hadn't talked to each other since that fourth of July, so when we saw each other again, well we were almost inseparable. Everyone in school knew it was me and Greg........and Andre. Since the Lakehouse Andre and I had started to hang out more. He was like a brother to me.
Oh, speaking of brothers, I had almost forgotten! So a while back my dad had knocked up some woman, just a year before he had me. Anyways, said women decides to tell my father about the son he didn't know he had. And then what, you ask. She decided to have him come over for the SUMMER. Yeah, I know right? So dad was supposed to pick him up that morning.
Since the Feder's moved here I had been around a lot, so naturally when Mrs. Feder noticed my knack for fashion, she gave me a place to work for the summer, her store! I really enjoyed it!
That was the reason why I was spending the night. I was helping Mrs. Feder with her new dress she was designing. We were up till three in the morning! I ended up crashing on the floor of Becky's room.
I was drooling from the position my head was in, snoring too. I was still in my cloths from the previous day, shorts and a tee. My hair was spred out in clumps around my head. My arms and legs were spread out like a star fish. I was laying on my stomach, no pillow, no blanket. Despite my sleeping arrangement I was as comftable as a baby in their mama's arms. Well, until the sound of clopping woke me up.
The left side of my face was red due to the way my face was propped up onto my red jacket. I sat up and sat there as I heard the clopping go down the hall. In my mind of sleep I almost went back to sleep, thinking that Lenny had somehow grown goat legs. Like....what's it called......a satyr. There was a crash. And that's when the screaming peirced through the air around me. My blood ran cold as I recognized the voice the screaming belonged to. As I stood up and ran to the door frantically I let a name pass my lips. "Greg!" Another scream erupted and this one belonged to Mrs. Feder.
I yanked open the door, almost hitting myself in the face with it. I stopped immediately when I saw what was occurring.
Mrs. Feder was standing at the end of the hall in front of the bathroom doorway, still in her sleep cloths and everything. The door to the bathroom was widely opened and inside was Greg. In the shower. Naked.
Mrs. Feder was screaming her lungs out and so was Greg. How embarrassing for both of them.... Lucky for me Mrs. Feder covered most of Greg's lower half. Not that I wouldn't want to see his lower half....I just.....not to say that I would want to....but.....it would......um....awkward....
That wasn't even the weirdest thing. Accompanying Greg in the bathroom was a deer---no a moose---no a deer---no.....I don't know. The deer appered to be peeing on Greg. I almost laughed if it weren't for the scream I let out first. I turned away at the shock of almost seeing Greg naked. My heart was beating fast from the adrenaline that had coursed through my body. First I think someone's dying, then I almost see Greg naked, AND I see a deer in the house. I had finally made the connection. Moose? Stupid.
If possible, Greg's scream got even higher and more embarrassed by the sight of me. I guess that must have spooked the deer because it spun around almost hitting Mrs. Feder. She waved her arms in the air and dove out of the way. I took frantic steps back as the deer passed, almost falling. Becky popped up from beside me. "A deer!" She squealed. I scrunched up my nose as I looked at the little girl. She was adorable, but how could she be excited by this? My eyes locked on the deer as it ran down the hall.
Keithy and Lenny dove out from the laundry room, right into the deers path and threw two baskets of dirty laundry on the poor deer. The deer stoped in its tracks, he shook the cloths off of him and paused, just starring at Lenny and his son. Both had wide eyes. Just as he stopped, he trampled down the steps, a lone bra attached to his right antler.
Lenny took cautious steps forward with the funniest face I had seen, one arm held an empty basket the other was holding it out in front of Keithy. I could hear the crashing of glass from downstairs. I slowly followed after Lenny, peeking over his shoulder.
"Daddy, I left the front door open in case any animals wanted to come in." Becky's little voice came from the back of the line.
"Ya, did, huh?" Lenny said almost absentmindedly.
"And one did." Becky continued.
"Yeah, one crazy ass one!" Keithy threw his hands up in exasperation. I took slow cautious steps, trying to stay as close as possible to Lenny. If anything happened, I was throwing him in the way of the deer. That way it will leave time for the rest of us to get out of here. Mrs. Feder scolded her son.
"No, no, you did a nice thing, sweet heart." He told Becky. "Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!" Lenny called upstairs. I gaped up at him.
"Daddy, no!" Becky pleaded.
"Yeah, no." I agreed in a low, high pitched voice. He turned to me as if trying to say 'not helping'. His eyes were still wide and his mouth was in a straight line. I almost laughed.
He turned to his daughter. "No, no, no, I'm not gonna hit it. I'm just going to massage his head for a little bit with it." He said as we crept forward. "Okay come on."
We came to the entrance to the kitchen. Lenny was in front of me so I couldn't see over him, but he was vocal on what he saw.
"There he is. He's eating Bowser's food." His voice was at a loss of emotion from trying not to be heard by the deer. I almost laughed. "Shhh." He said. "Okay, he knows we're here now." Lenny crept more into the room, slowly. My head, along with Mrs. Feder's, Becky's, and Keithie's were sticking through the entrance.
"Stay, stay, stay." Lenny told us as he went. "What's he looking at?" The deer, was in fact, looking at something very oddly. It appeared to be Mr. Gigglesworth, Becky's stuffed monkey.
"Move your doll twords me." Lenny said without looking. Becky did as she was told as the deer's gaze followed the monkey. "And back to you. Towards me. Back to you. Three times fast." The deers gaze never left the doll. "Give me that thing." My attention came to Lenny as I watched what was to unfold. I pushed a stray blonde hair behind my ear.
"Mr. Gigglesworth?" Becky whined with her bottom lip out.
"No, don't worry. Give it to me. Put it in my hand." Lenny's eyes never left the deer in fear of it charging. He blindly grabed for the monkey and took it in hand. "Roxanne, take them in there. Over there." He waved us away. He then started to talk to the deer. My eyes furrowed as he did so.
"Hey, dude. You like this guy?" Lenny waved the stuffed monkey around. "Huh? You want to play with him?" Lenny started to back up. "All right, let's go play in the other room. Come on." He took the monkey's hand and waved the deer over with it. "Come on, man. Slowly walk with me." I could hear the deers steps quicken. "I said slowly. No. Ah!! Ah!!" Lenny started to yell as the deer ran after the monkey. "Get out of the way! Oh my God!" He yelled to the mail man. Lenny ran out the already open front door and chucked the monkey. The deer flew after Mr. Gigglesworth.
I ran out to join Lenny on the porch laughing my lungs out. My hands on my stomach as I doubled over. Lenny stood there with his hand over his head and eyes wide. "Problem solved." Lenny said.
I kept laughing until I noticed Greg had joined us. And he was shirtless, in his towel. My mouth fell open and my blue eyes grew wide. My cheeks turned red as I turned away and tried not to pay attention to him. It was hard. His skin looked so soft, but I wasn't paying attention to that. I was paying attention to the deer tearing up Mr. Gigglesworth. Though I could still see Greg out of my peripheral vision.
"Mr. Gigglesworth! Daddy, he's killing him!" Becky cried. My face pulled together in pitty. I felt sorry for her.
"And a new problem begins." Lenny said as I watched the deer have at it with the poor monkey. "I'm sorry." Lenny tried to comfort his daughter as he placed his hand on her back.
"I betcha feel like a fool now, huh, Lenny." I asked, holding little Becky. He looked at me like he wanted to strangle me.
The mail man, I had forgotten was even there, spoke up. I was still greatly aware of Greg's shirtless presence. "Is that your bra Mrs. Feder?" Mrs. Feder shrugged yes. The mail man looked towards Lenny and raised his hand for a high five.
"Easy." Was Lenny's response as poor little Becky mourned the death of Mr. Gigglesworth. Mrs. Feder recoiled most likely feeling violated.
"Eww." Keithy said. Lenny looked towards his wife and shrugged. He turned back to the mail man.
"It is nice." And they both high fived.
I found it extremely awkward. I mean, Mrs Feder did have some nice.........chests......... I looked down to my own chest. When I was younger all the girls in my grade had developed before me because I had skipped a grade and they were all older than me. Plus, I had always been petit, but the past couple of years had done me well. I definatly wasn't flat chested. My curves were also becoming more pronounced. Though my butt wasn't exactly big, but it was perky so it was good enough for me. I did feel self conscious quite often though.
After the deer insident I decided to get ready. I took a shower, moisturized, and got dressed. I wore a simple outfit: shorts and a tee. I didn't really wear make up. I wasn't big into make up, I just wasn't good at it. When I was done I grabbed my book bag and walked outside to wait in front with everyone.
Becky was going to ride to school on her bike with Bean. So she was sitting on her bike waiting. The guys were standing close to each other and seemed to be having an important conversation. Not knowing if I was ment hear what they were talking about, I ducked behind the bushes to listen.
"And your gonna get her. You wanna know why? Cause your gonna follow my three step rule." Lenny was talking to Greg. My heart leaped out of my chest. Greg liked Nancy, I knew that, but he had said it was a small little thing. He said he liked someone else more, but he wouldnt tell me who, so I let it go. I mean, he would have told me if it was serious. I started to wonder if Greg and I were really as close as I thought. Maybe he felt he couldn't talk to me about this stuff because I was a girl. I had told him he could tell me anything, no matter what, but I guess it was too awkward for him. That's not the only reason my heart hurt, though. "Number one: make the girl smile. Number two: tell her she has a nice smile. Number three: Say she has to go out with you that night." I had almost hoped Lenny was talking to Keithy, but Greg's response only made my hopes vanish.
"Why that night?"
"Because it gives her less time to think about how fugly you are. Cause you are fugly." Lenny looked dead serious. I thought it was absurd, no girl was going to fall for that. Plus, Greg wasn't fugly. At least I didn't think so. Not by a long shot.
"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. I mean, Keithy is right. I'm too chicken to even look her in the eye." Greg sounded so lost. I wanted to jump out from behind the bushes and hug him and tell him he could have any girl he wanted. Even if it hurt me. But Lenny beat me to it.
"Hey! Your a Feder, Feder's ain't afraid of women, buddy. That's not the way I'm raising you." Lenny pointed. I thought there were many different affective ways to have gone about Greg's situation, but Lenny's.......special.
"Oh, by the way, dad. Did you ask mom if I could play football?" Keithy cut in. I knew by the change in subject that I could come out of hiding. So I stood up, brushed myself off and headed on over.
"No! I was scared. I'm afraid she's gonna yell at me in that accent no one understands." Lenny said.
I stood next to Greg when I walked over, still thinking about the previous conversation. I smiled at him, trying to be reassuring, when he looked at me. He froze at first then, slowly, smiled back. It was kind of awkward, though. My brows came together as we looked away. When I looked away, I caught Becky's eye. She was already looking at me. She smiled. It was a big smile filled with hidden knowledge. She knew something. I don't know why but it made me blush. I looked away with my brows even closer together.
"Come on, Becky!" Bean called rolling up on his bike. "It's 8 O'clock. School starts at 8:15. That means we only have 25 minutes." I looked at Bean oddly, then shared a glance with Greg that said he was just as baffled. Bean was cute but.....he was......odd.
"Daddy." Becky began. "You promise me Mr. Gigglesworth will be better by bed time?" She was so cute.
Lenny ducked to his daughters height. "Would you stop worrying about it. It'll be fine. I love you." They shared a peck on the cheek. "Have the best last day, okay. Bye guys."
"Bye dad." Becky said as her and Bean started to ride away.
"And you read the street signs, okay. Don't let Bean." He called after his daughter. "My God. Riding their bikes to school. Couldn't do that in Hollywood with those nuts out there." I watched as Becky and Bean road down the road.
"Yeah. Cause thank God there's no crazy people out here." Keithy said, but I'm pretty sure it was sarcasm. As if the Universe had to prove wrong, the bus pulled up to the driveway almost hitting me in the process. Greg had pulled me back in time. His hand still rested on my shoulder as the bus doors opened.
"How ya doing, Nick?" Lenny smiled, still playing with a ball.
"My wife is leaving me. After three weeks." I started laughing to myself, but I didn't feel too bad about it because Greg and Keithy were too.
"Three weeks? That's.....not bad for you. What happened?"
"She caught me eating a banana."
"That's not too bad." I figured watching bus driver Nick eating a banana was actually pretty bad. He turned to me.
"With my butt." He said.
"Oh..."
"Uh, and she didn't like that?" Lenny played along, but he seemed kinda disturbed and trying not to laugh at the same time.
"Yeah, she seemed real bummed out." He said it like it was the strangest thing. "But, you know, I shouldn't have done it at her mom's house."
"Yeah, you shouldn't have done it at all." I said.
"Yeah, you, uh, seem like your a little extra out of it today. What's going on?" Lenny cut to it.
"Yeah, I'm a little medicated. I met a very reliable doctor at a Cyprus Hill concert. And uh, he floated me a couple pills just to feel better, ya know." Then he started to talk to himself in a deeper voice. "But you don't feel better. You feel worse!" He then smiled at us. I tried so hard not to laugh but it was hard. After that Lenny decided to drive the bus, so he took over. Bus driver Nick moved to a seat and fell asleep. I took my seat across from Greg.
A/N: The first Chapter of 'Grown Ups 2'! Yay, I'm so happy! I really loved writing this chapter and I can't wait to continue Abby's story! We saw what's been happening with her lately, what'd you think of that? Where do you think it's gonna lead? Where do you think her and Greg are gonna go? Hope you like it. Bye lovelies!