19
Spidey
I'm boooooored!
Harley
Me toooooooooooo!
Mr Stark
You two stop whining.
This is what you get for deporting Captain America to an English museum.
Spidey
But we weren't the only ones responsible!
Harley
And yet we're the only ones grounded for it!
Mr Stark
Well you're the only ones I have the power to ground and I value my life too much to confront Romanoff about it
Spidey
Ok that's fair.
Harley
NinjaSpiderLady is terrifying.
Natalia
Thank you, Harley.
Harley
No problem, ma'am
Spidey
Мама, can't you unground me?
Natalia
Sorry, Pyotr, but what you did was dangerous and irresponsible.
Besides, Harley needs someone to keep him company until you're free again.
Spidey
You planned it with us! How is it dangerous and irresponsible when I have parental permission and a parent chaperoning‽
Harley
You say it like parents are these wise, all-knowing beings
Mr Stark
Oh we are.
Natalia
Absolutely.
Harley
But in reality, they're just a couple of people who have had-
Mr Stark
FRIDAY OVERRIDE WHAT HE'S TYPING
Harley
What why?!
Spidey
Somehow, Harley, you've scared him...
Mr Stark
You're supposed to be innocent, naïve children!
Spidey
We're teenagers.
Harley
Yeah!
Peter's 15, nearly 16.
I'm already 16.
I think?
I don't really know to be honest :/
The fandom is quite divided and the fanfiction makes it even worse...
Mr Stark
Oh god!
I don't have long left!
Spidey
You don't have long left until what?
Mr Stark
Until I have to give you both the talk.
Spidey
Which talk?
Mr Stark
The talk.
Spidey
?
Mr Stark
The Talk.
Spidey
WHICH TALK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???
Mr Stark
Oh sweet Petey Pie how have you remained so unscarred even after Harley's night of terror with family dinner and the poor members of the fruit bowl?
Harley
He's not innocent, he's just incredibly stupid.
Spidey
HEY!
Natalia
Ребенок Паук, I love you, but sometimes you really are painfully oblivious.
Spidey
Okay I'm done on this group chat for now. I'm going out.
Mr Stark
You're grounded.
Spidey
Damnit!
Harley
Why don't we do Operation Grindstone?
Spidey
I don't know...it might be a bit much......
Harley
You don't think they'd deserve it?
Spidey
Ok maybe they would...
Harley
Do it.
Spidey
Aight
Loki! Shuri!
MemeKween
Sah dude
Loki
Howdy par'ner
Spidey
Operation Grindstone is go.
Meet me and Harley you know where.
Harley
You don't need to make the location sound so mysterious, Peter.
MemeKween
Yeah there's no shame in you and Harley both having a shared second bedroom just because you both love bunk beds!
Loki
Although the room being filled with dozens of bunk beds is slightly odd...
Spidey
BUNK BEDS ARE COOL!
Soon, all the teens were gathered on the bunk bed fortress, many laptops set out in front on them.
"So..." began Harley, "who are we against today?"
"All the guys except Pietro since we can't risk him being a minor." Peter replied confidently.
Shuri grinned a smirk so devious the whole planet suddenly felt a chill go down their spines and for a moment the whole planet felt fear for the things that were about to be done.
"Aight! Let's do this! Peter, I need you to hack into all their camera rolls and even FRIDAY's security footage. Give Loki free access to it all then you can both work together on choosing the best photos for them!" Shuri commanded like a military commander, "Harley boi! You start setting up their accounts while I hack into their emails to complete the verification process."
The rest of the day passed, and then the night. The teens felt not the pull of sleep, nor did they feel the weight of the world begin to settle itself upon their eyelids. They wearied not at all for they were so intent on completing their work not even the end of all things could stop them. At last, in the early hours of the morning, just as the Sun was beginning to shine on a new day, Harley let out a long sigh, "Fucking finished!"
Weak cheers erupted from the now bat-like creatures, who promptly fell asleep hanging upside down from the bunk beds.
The Avengers would not be up for several more hours and had no idea what was coming for them...
Somehow, the Avengers went unknowing for a full day (which the guilty teens spent sleeping) only to be met with a nasty shock the following day...
Mr Stark
PETER BENJAMIN PARKER-STARK-ROMANOFF-I'M-NOT-EVEN-SURE-WHAT-YOUR-NAME-IS-ANYMORE
Spidey
...yes?
Harley
What's ruffled his feathers this morning?
Mr Stark
AND YOU!
HARLEY DO-YOU-EVEN-HAVE-A-MIDDLE-NAME KEENER!
Harley
Oh boy...
I'm guessing you found out then?
Hawk
IT'S ALL OVER THE NEWS
Mr Stark
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING‽
Tiny
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
Dr Banner
It should have been impossible to get past all those firewalls...
Capsicle
You kids shouldn't disrespect your elders so much!
You know, back in my day-
Frostbite
Shut it Steve. Stop acting so old.
WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU KIDS LIE ABOUT MY AGE‽ I MAY TECHNICALLY BE THAT OLD BUT IN DATING TERMS COME ON!
Wizard
Honestly the photos you used were dreadful. And you seriously said I'm "in need of someone to love so I can stop pining over my magical cloak which feels pressured into being with me"‽
KittyCat
Everyone here is mocking me now! "I'm a rich buff king with no mate, Wakanda nonsense is this?!"
Pigeon
HONESTLY WHY THE FUCKING HELL WOULD YOU SET US ALL UP ON GRINDR?!
Spidey
For fun?
Harley
Revenge for being grounded?
Loki
Chaos and mischief.
MemeKween
Boredom.
If it makes you feel any better, you all got plenty of matches...
Mr Stark
I DON'T CARE IF I GOT MATCHED WITH SOME RANDOM GUYS! I AM NOT GAY! I HAVE PEPPER!
The Boss
Thank you, Tony.
Hawk
Speak for yourself, Stark
Tiny
Yeah, we may not act on any of it but it's nice to know there's guys out their who like us like that!
Wizard
That is a matter of opinion.
Spidey
Right so you guys have a nice day...
Loki, Shuri, you wanna do MarioKart tournament today?
Harley
Yeah you guys in?
MemeKween
100%
Loki
I don't see why not
Mr Stark
NOPE!
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
NEW CONDITIONS FOR YOUR GROUNDING MEAN YOU GET NO FRIENDS COMING OVER!
Spidey
Aw man :(
Harley
At least the two of us can still have a MarioKart tournament...