A horrible mood pried open my eyes on Thursday morning. We normally had a game tomorrow, but this week was a bye. With a Friday night off, this weekend was the perfect opportunity to take out Ellie. Technically, I told her I'd do that, but after she admitted to not seeing me at the animal shelter, I only heard silence from that girl all week. She had no reason to contact me, and I took a break from my plan to pursue her because the more I was around her and the more she opened up, the more confused she made me. My plan ended with Ellie in tears and Jake so wound up that he got himself ejected, but my motives blurred the moment she got upset at my expense.
I needed a break. Separation of time and distance was supposed to reset my priorities like during camp... except now it didn't work. A week passed, and my only change was an unexplainable rising irritation. My mood started when my fist punched Meade's ribs, and it grew each day since. Like poison, it swept through me, made me squirm wherever I sat, and turned my mood to shit.
My mind fucked with me at the weirdest moments, derailing my efforts to forget about Ellie. She popped into my mind more times than I comfortably admitted, but highlights always appeared whenever I stretched out in bed and groaned at the morning lump in my underwear. My worst reminders were in the post-practice showers when guys shared their weekend plans. Once again, Cole's parents weren't home, and our 3-0 start needed apparent celebration.
No, scratch that. The worst was my morning stiffness, but the fact I had no plans with Ellie made me tense from head to toe. Hot showers alleviated some of it, but a murderous look in my eyes reflected in my bathroom mirror. I palmed my face with my towel and scrubbed until my nose and cheeks were pink, which I wished worked for my brain.
I checked my phone obsessively for a message from her, any message. At this point, I would've welcomed an insult. A few times, I swore I saw Ellie at school. Impossible, but I hadn't noticed how many short, dark brown-haired girls attended Salesian. I did now.
My Thursday morning pissed-off mood exploded when I came downstairs to Mom's house, the front yard, and my truck trashed with toilet paper, raw eggs, and shaving cream. "What the fuck!?" I stepped through the mess blocking the front door. Once I reached the pile of shit my truck parked under, I tightened my fists and braced myself for actual damage. Thankfully, aside from swear words about Salesian and me painted on every side, the exterior seemed intact. No punctured tires or broken windows this time, but fuck.
"Logan, manners - oh my." Mom's face fell as she stood in the front doorway. Her hands clutched the opening of her robe, and the question 'why?' hung in her eyes. I clenched my fists tighter, my skin burning hotter the longer I looked at our front yard. "Who would do this?"
Harrison, no doubt, but I mumbled, "I dunno." Her car was also intact but trashed. I pulled out my phone and snapped a quick picture.
Me: Good morning to me. Anyone else?
Me: [ image attached ]
"I'll help clean it up," I promised, ran inside, and grabbed some garbage bags. Mom and I needed forty-five minutes, five garbage bags, the garden hose, and lots of elbow grease before we removed the shit on our cars, yard, and front door. Sweat-soaked, I hauled ass to get to school and arrived a few seconds before the bell rang.
After I sat down and wiped my damp forehead, I noticed a voicemail message.
"Fuck you, Hightower. Take the hint and stay the fuck away from her."
Different unknown numbers blew up my inbox with over four hundred similar texts. Fucking Jake Harrison. I'd done the decent thing and not bothered Ellie this week, even stayed away from her at the animal shelter, but Jake's shit was too much. Thankfully, about every guy on my team responded to my earlier text with a no. Cool, isolated incident. But, fuck, I wanted to punch my fists through walls or tear something up. In one incident, Jake resurfaced all the motivation I needed.
It's on. He crossed the fucking line too many times. This time, he handed Ellie's sympathy to me on a fucking platter. No way she wouldn't condone this shit.
I took a slow breath and gripped the sides of my desk. It was too small for me to fit properly, and my back hurt from slouching over so that my elbows rested on the surface. With my mind a mess, I absorbed absolutely nothing in my classes. The concerned looks from my lunch table blurred into basic shapes.
Less than twenty-four hours later, my Harrison problem wasn't isolated between us. I approached a lunch table full of smug grins, and my mouth dropped open at the reason for them. "You did what!?" I roared and cupped my forehead in one palm. These fucking idiots. I wanted to smash my tray in Bryce's smug-ass grin. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why the fuck - oh, fuck, this is is... shittastic. Collossol fuck-up, you fucking idiots!"
"Chill, bro." Bryce crossed his arms. "We sent them a clear message. No one messes with our captain."
Fuck, I did not ask for this. Ellie. Ellie was the plan, my plan, nothing more. Bryce's dumbass grin showed he thought he'd done me a favor. Instead, he chopped off the lid of that dangling gas can over the bonfire using a machete. A rush shot through me, dropping my stomach and filling my head with lightness. My knees swayed under my weight, and I set my tray down. "And what proof did you have that it was Santa Cruz?"
I had clear proof on my phone in a message I shared with only one person. Josh offered a sheepish shrug of his shoulders. "C'mon, you know it was Harrison."
And Ellie was going to think I did it. Fuck, they ruined everything. She deserved to know what her asshole brother had done and these idiots' response, so I texted her that I needed to see her. Surprisingly, she got back right away but wasn't up for that. She didn't understand, and I was on borrowed time, so I went the direct route.
Me: I have to see you baby.
I wasn't sure how, but I had to see her. As soon as I knew what these idiots stacked against me. "You. Talk. Now." I snapped my fingers at Josh.
He slipped out of his seat, a wary look in his eyes. "We almost got caught, you know." Josh grimaced at me out in the hallway. "Suspension wouldn't be good for us right now. I'm sorry they trashed your house."
"What the fuck!?" I groaned at his flashed picture of Santa Cruz High's entrance steps painted in Salesian pride. "Pretty sure UCLA frowns on this shit, bro. Did anyone see you?"
"Nah, we snuck out that side door with the broken lock." He shook his head. "Figured it was better if no one saw us."
"Fuck, this screws up everything! I had enough ammo to tell her what her asshole brother did." I sighed in defeat. "Doing it in person would've been enough for me to win her sympathy, Josh."
He gave me a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of his neck. "I couldn't talk them out of it, sorry. In-person? What's so important that you couldn't just call her?" He pressed further. "Or is Ellie ghosting you?"
"We're... co-ghosting," I muttered and squeezed the back of my neck. Yesterday, I was ready to jump back into my Ellie plan, but now? Back to a clusterfuck out of my control. "But no, I was planning to use Harrison's bullshit to my advantage, and you dumb fucks couldn't help yourselves in escalating the situation."
"Don't hate the support," Josh said. Fuck, if this was support, then I didn't want their non-support. "Makes sense why you've been pissed off this week."
I held my gaze on a promo poster for next week's game on the wall behind his head. Didn't realize my mood was that obvious. All the reasons for not contacting her this week resurfaced and twisted my stomach with discomfort. I needed no stretch of my imagination that guys like Meade hit on Ellie all the time, and Jake chased them off, but Ellie was hiding something.
I couldn't have presented myself any worse, but Jake was the arrogant asshole. So, why wasn't I happier about them trashing his school? It had to be because it tainted Ellie's perception of me. I wanted to control that, and control wasn't anywhere around me. I needed to change that. Josh looked at me like he expected an explanation. "Alright, sorry," I relented with another sigh. "You know how bad this looks for me, right?"
"You like her, huh." Again, he stated the words, not asking me. I couldn't answer, only closed my eyes and shook my head. He smiled when I opened my eyes. "I never told you how Ava and I met."
The entire school knew the golden couple's origin story. I frowned. "She walked up to you the first day of school sophomore year and told you to take her out."
"That's what she wants everyone to know." He leaned against the wall and fisted his hand over his mouth, behind which his smile widened. "I met her two weeks before at the grocery store she worked at. You know, Nob Hill?"
I nodded, so Josh continued, "I kept trying to ask her out but kept wimping out. I figured I'd lose my chance once school started. So, on the last day of summer, I followed her home from work like some crazy bike stalker. I went to her house, rang the doorbell, and told her right to her face that I liked her."
Entranced, I stared at him with my jaw hanging. I had no idea any of this had happened. Potentially embarrassing as fuck, and maybe that was why he'd never told me. "Then what?"
"I ran away."
We both laughed, him at the memory and me at the mental image of fifteen-year-old Josh as he fled the scene. "Didn't know what else to do. But she thought things over, and on the first day of school our sophomore year, it's like you said."
My laughs subsided and left a dull ache under my right ribs. "Why are you telling me this now?"
He smiled with the knowledge of hindsight in his eyes. "Because I don't regret it."
"Hey, Logan." Mom came home from work Friday afternoon and sat next to me on the living room sofa. Her movements blurred as I stared at the television, although the screen blurred from recognition.
"Logan?" After a warm hand tapped my knee, I blinked and looked sideways at a pair of blue eyes. "Do you want anything for dinner?"
With my eyes fixed nowhere in particular, I shook my head.
"Did you have practice?"
I nodded, although today's practice couldn't have been lighter.
"Did something happen at school?"
Technically, yes, but what happened probably wasn't what she thought, so I shook my head again.
"Good. It's only your fourth week, and you're on a bye, so no game tonight." Mom was determined not to let this drop. "While I'm thrilled you're home, I don't think it has anything to do with wanting to spend time with me or coming to cheer on Knuckles Deep."
My lips twitched at the sarcasm in her voice. Not wrong.
"What happened with Eleanor?" At the mention of her name, I turned my head. Her blue eyes shone with intent mirrored in her wide smile. She was too damn perceptive sometimes.
"Nothing," I replied in a flat, bored voice and leaned away from her scrutiny.
"I see." By her dry tone, none of her believed me. "What aren't you telling me? She hasn't texted anything different to me."
Of course, Mom texted Ellie. I turned off the television, tossed the remote on the sofa between us, and sighed. "Mom, stop texting her. Her brother plays football for Santa Cruz."
"Yes, she mentioned that he played when she was here," Mom's voice filled with confusion, and she frowned. "So what?"
"Her brother is Jake Harrison." I shifted my eyes sideways. "That's what."
She drew her eyebrows tighter together like she placed Jake's name. "Their quarterback? He's quite good, solid and polished in the pocket, great decision-maker, lead his team over yours to last year's -"
Wow. "Not helping Mom." I sighed, closed my eyes, and rested my head back. "Jake hates me. He was behind our house getting trashed. He also left me a message saying to stay away from Ellie. I tried to convince her to talk to me, but she refused."
"Hmm. Did she refuse to talk to you or refuse to go out with you?" Mom was correct; there was a difference. "Maybe Jake told her to stay away from you."
"Of course he did," I muttered since that explained Ellie's phone silence. "I would've told her that if I were in his shoes."
"Logan..." Mom placed one hand on my shoulder, which opened my eyes. "Haven't you noticed how she's quietly stubborn?"
"She's not that quiet about it with me." My mouth twitched as I remembered our teasing insult trades from our sandwich assembly line.
"She's not outwardly opinionated," Mom corrected herself. "But she's also not the type of girl who responds well to being told what to do. By you, or anyone else, which includes her brother."
"Doesn't matter now." I picked up the remote, turned on the TV, and flipped through the channels until I landed on Sports Center.
"It does." Mom tugged on my arm until I shifted my eyes back at her. "You want her opinion, then ask her yourself instead of sitting around speculating. I like her. And, if you like her too, then tell her."
Her words were weirdly similar to Josh's story about Ava. Her expression read serious, so I barked out a humorless laugh. "You want me to walk up to Ellie and say 'I like you,' just like that?"
Her shoulders lifted slightly. "Why not? Give her a chance to like you back. It could change everything."
It was an angle I hadn't tried, although it felt a notch lower on the dishonesty belt. Mom's determined smile seemed convinced of this 'I like you' direct approach, but it felt a little... seventh-grade. She'd also forgotten the facts, so I said, "Even if I did, I don't know where she is now. The game starts at seven. I'd get mauled alive if I showed up there."
With a slight head tilt and eyes dropped down to her watch, she asked, "What time do the players get there?"
"Five?" I guessed based on our games. If Brody played for any other school, then I would go with Mom tonight and watch him play, but we all agreed that wasn't the best idea. I'd be an unwelcome distraction who raised suspicions about why I was there. Either Brody would get ratted out, and his season spent being harassed by Jake, or I got accused of spying on Santa Cruz.
"If you were Jake and told her not to see you, where would he demand that she be right now?" Mom's knowing smile told me I should listen to her. I hated that look since it was always accompanied by me being wrong. "Before the game starts."
"At home? " I guessed with a frown. "Or at the game early, so I could keep an eye on her..."
"Meaning, she could be sitting there all by herself." Mom winked and flashed a 'lightbulb flash' sign over her head. "She'd probably be pretty impressed if you traveled there to tell her that you like her. Any girl would."
Mom's plan was insane. Genius, which I would never tell her, but insane. Fuck it. "If you don't hear from me in two hours -"
"Send a search party." She shooed me to the front door with her hands. "Go."
"I must be insane," I muttered on the walk up the sidewalk to Santa Cruz's stadium. Every few feet, I glanced to each side, in front of and behind me, as if I'd get attacked or ambushed, but the area was empty except for their school's cross-country team practice on the track around the football field.
A heavy sensation weighed me down, and my steps turned heavy. Mom didn't know my true motivations for being here, and frankly, I questioned it more times than I counted on the drive up. My contrasting moral arguments didn't matter, but the upset look on Mom's face at her house getting trashed did. I clenched my teeth so much that my jaw ached behind my right ear and stuffed my hands in my pockets.
Ellie's my way in.
Real retribution.
I just have to play it through.
Face-to-face.
I'd assumed correctly: the football players came out at five for warmups, then headed back into the locker room for light conditioning and stretches, equipment checks, then waited inside for the game's warmup time. Every bleacher bench within every row was empty except for one. A small figure huddled in the corner of the very back row on the right side of the Santa Cruz sideline's bleachers.
Ellie. My heart tugged down in my chest as if an invisible arm pulled me back with an abort warning. It didn't matter, as evident as the bright red Santa Cruz sweatshirt that swallowed her small frame. Jake's shirt, no doubt. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, with a few short strands framing her ears.
I stopped in my tracks and pulled out my phone. A faint ringtone echoed through the airspace. Ellie reached into her purse and held her ear to her phone. "Hello?"
Fuck, her voice was breathy as if she was excited to hear from me. All thoughts of her brother blurred in my mind the closer I approached. As much effort as I'd spent repressing her and how hard I'd tried to forget about her, I missed her. Being near her in person threatened to zap away all of my retribution thoughts, only to be replaced by an odd sense of calmness despite the circumstances. I dragged a hand through my hair and squeezed my neck. The pinch of skin brought my focus back.
None of it mattered. Fuck, it didn't!
Close the deal, Hightower.
I quickened my steps towards her side of the field. "Hi, baby."
Every inch of her was as pretty as the first time I saw her, with one exception. Instead of not sparing me a look, her eyes met mine, recognition overtaking the shock in them. Her mouth went from rounded open to closed in a gentle smile. "Logan?"
Surprised was good. I could work with surprise. "You don't have my number memorized? That hurts," I stalled and closed the distance between us.
"You're lucky you aren't blocked." She frowned, but her playful smile gutted me. Fuck, she was making this hard. "Some stunt you pulled earlier."
"Be nice, baby." My laugh was hollow and echoed off the roof of my mouth. I was a giant hypocrite, wanting to apologize to one girl while I used another. But Jake instigated the beef between us, and he couldn't get away with perpetuating it. I reached the bottom of her bleachers and swung my leg onto the stairs. "I didn't come all this way to be insulted."
I saw then heard her drop her phone. The vibrations of the plastic made a slight echo across the metal bleachers. Cool metal pricked my palm and grounded me against the heat that simmered under my skin. Each step was heavier than the last, and my heartbeat quickened. Harper wasn't here, and there were no signs of Jake. She was alone, mine for the taking no matter how much the thought sickened my stomach.
Her mouth dropped open once I reached down into the row below hers. Accompanied by the softest, sweetest voice, Ellie's doe-shaped, deep brown eyes blinked at me with the same concern that filled my ears. "Why are you here? Seriously, you could get in trouble if someone saw you."
Concern. Fuck, that wasn't supposed to be her reaction. I expected any other emotions like frustration, anger, fists pounded into me, a knee that kicked me in the balls, but not her feeling concern. The idea Ellie was concerned about me chipped away at the pit I'd been holding in my stomach all week. "Careful with your phone, baby." I picked her phone up and handed it to her. I couldn't help but tease and added, "You never know who will pick it up."
Her soft, slim fingers brushed over mine as she took it back, and her soft smile widened. It hit me worse than a punch in the gut. This felt wrong, and the pain in my chest begged me to tuck my ego's tail and give up, but I was too far-committed. She was the key to destroying my rival's season. Nothing more. She couldn't be more.
With a lick of my dry lips, I shifted into asshole mode, "And I'm here to see you, baby."