In Bee’s car, his father drove, while his grandmother took the passenger side of the car. Bee, Chia, and I took up the back seat, with me sitting in the middle.
As much as I wanted to stare out the window, it was impossible with being in the middle. I had to no choice as I stared off to nothing particular in the car, thinking about the possibilities of what could happen during the wedding.
Swimming in the thoughts of my mind, was my family. I knew many who would take the news well and stay happy and quiet, but not everybody would be the same. There were the few who itched for drama, and gossiping was their guilty pleasure.
The biggest gossiper in my family would have to be my Aunt Houa. Sadly, Aunt Houa and her family lived in the same town as well. I honestly had nothing against my aunt, but the woman kept finding reasons to envy everybody and to be jealous of simple things. I could only imagine what Aunt Houa would come up with today.
Just the thought of what may take place made me panic. My palms started to clam up, sweating more than necessary. Looking down at them, I tried to silently wiped them on the cushion of the seat. After satisfied with how dry my hands were, I sighed looking back into the void of nothing.
“Are you okay?”
Looking away from my view of space, I turn to Bee.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Bee nodded, “Okay. But your sigh didn’t sound like it was fine.”
“Well, I can’t help but think of all the worse case scenarios that can happen. My mind plays out the horror stories of my life.”
“Okay. How about this though. Think of only the good things that can happen. Don’t tell me that there is nothing good in life or in what is going to happen today, cause I will list everything I know of. And don’t tell me that you can’t, I know you have it in you.”
I frown at the thought and tried to come up with one good thing about our wedding day with our crazy family. Shaking my head, as it was unbearable to think of something remotely good.
Before Bee could respond, his father was pulling into the parking lot of a rest stop.
“We’re already to the midway point?” Bee asked to his father.
“Yes. This won’t take long. Come along.”
Getting out of the car, I followed everybody out, we all piled around a cement bench, not far from the parking lot. I stood next to Bee and Chia as we watched the elders go on about their business. It was pretty early to be eating a meal already, and I knew swallowing anything at the moment would be hard. Even with that thought in, I knew I would have to take whatever is given and chew it down.
After the rituals, an elder came up to Bee and I, offering us pieces of chicken they had done rituals with. Rice along with chicken is offered to the ancestors for protection during the trip, it is also offered to any spirit along the way for a safe journey.
“Eat. Your family is waiting.”
I take what is given to me, while Bee also holds his own. We take nervous glances at each other before taking the first bite of our pieces.
Finishing up the small meal, everyone gathers into their own cars once again. Bee’s father drives out of the rest area, and we continue on our last stretch before reaching my house. The trip starts out similar to the first half, quiet and desolate. I was still having a breakdown.
“Come on now,” Bee said to me, “it won’t be that bad.”
“Oh yes it can be,” I shot back.
“At least you won’t be in this alone. That’s one of the things about marriage, you are not alone anymore. If you get dragged down under, so will I.”
“That’s supposed to make me feel better?”
“If it helps any, then yes.”
“Okay, but be prepared. My family is crazy.”
“I read what you wrote. Are you worried about your aunt?” Bee askes.
“That aunt?” Chia, wided eyed, joins in on our conversation, “She’s going to be there?”
I could only nod and say, “Yup. That aunt is going to be there.”
“Let the drama ensue!” Chia montonessly said.
“It can’t be that bad,” Bee said to us.
“Stop trying to be upbeat about the fact that she is going to make you guys the shit talk of the town. If I was you, I would be preparing for the worse. I don’t even know how Luna and her family has been dealing with a witch like that.” Chia shook her head in wonder.
“So should we go find a cave, and plan our whole life there?”
“That does sound like a good idea,” I said.
Our conversation takes up the whole half of the car ride. We were finally to my parents house, a place I could no longer call my own. I had not seen the place for two weeks and even though it was just a short period of time, I felt nostalgic over all the memories I had shared there.
Bee’s father found parking on the side of the road, and we waited for all of Bee’s side to get ready for the start of our wedding.
I closed my eyes, my heart was pounding. Butterflies flew and twirled in my stomach. My heart was pounding against my skin, wanting a way out. I went dizzy, and a wave of nausea passed through me. Tears fought to escape the corner of my eyes. My hands fussed around in my laps.
I could hear myself whimper, I wanted to stop it, I didn’t want to be so weak. Another realization of what this day meant hit me, this one the hardest, as we waited to be invited into my parents house.
A hand was placed over my own. As I felt it cover mine, calming me down from over worrying, I looked up to find the owner. Of course, it was Bee.
Pulling my hands away from the embrace of his, I said, “I’m fine.”
“Okay. I know you are,” Bee said, nodding, “Let’s go.”
We get out of the car and pile behind the line of Bee’s family. At the front of the line, Bee’s elder, who came to represent his family, were carrying on their duties of getting us into the house.
The process only took a few minutes, and while waiting I could see my sisters behind the uncles who had come represent my families side. Tina, strangely, was recording the event.
After being allowed into the house, we walk in.
I walk pass the threshold with Chia by my side, and inside the house I can see all my sisters and mother. They huddle around each other, waiting for our entrance. The second I see them, I could not hold it in, sobs break through me and I am a mess in minutes. There is so much water around my eyes, my vision goes blurry.
Through the fuss, Chia grabs a hold of me and leads me in.
“Sit her down on the couch,” I hear one of my sister yell out.
“Why are you crying!?” a voice in the crowd yells.
I was unreasonably mad, there was hatred running through me. Why did this have to happen to me? My crying was not because it was my wedding day and I was going to lose my family, my parents. I was crying for my freedom, my independence, my life.
Reaching the couch, I was pushed gently down to sit. Someone embraces me and starts whispering in my ear.
“I know you are mad,” I hear the voice of my eldest sister, Jai Lia, “I know you want to scream. But not here and not now. Calm down. Everyone is watching. Calm down. Calm down, now.”
“Luna, why are you crying?” voices of my family say to me.
I could not have been angrier than that moment in my whole life. If I had the power, I would have slashed through them all and hid myself half way across the world. I wanted to scream at those who questioned my actions. I wanted to curse everyone who came to join in this holy matrimony of mine.
Beyond my better judgement, I started to suppress my sobs. I hated to be controlled and told what to do, but I knew I had to comply to my sisters words. She was right. Everybody was in that house, and they would talk if I had a screaming fit.
Jia Lia finally pulled away as I reached my calming point. My last sob came out and soon after I was embarrassed for my actions. This was not what I was planed on. I felt even worse that my future family had to witness my break down. Jia Lia looked at me, and wiped at my face.
“Chia, help me bring Luna to the bathroom. Her face is a mess. Everyone can wait to have a chat with her.”
With the help of Chia, Jia Lia pulls me onto my feet again. My sisters and Chia guides me, tagging along to join our little party in the bathroom.
Seven of us girls piled into the tiny bathroom and closed the door.
“Damn it Luna, did you have to freak out like that the moment you walked in?” Kia said.
“It’s not like she could help it, Kia. She is being forced to marry someone she doesn’t love. Sorry, Chia, that’s just the truth,” Jai Lia said.
Chia shrugged, “I couldn’t agree more. I’m surprised Luna didn’t break down sooner.”
“Wash your face. You look ugly,” Gao Seng said to me.
“Shut up. I can look how ever I want,” I retaliated.
“Nou Hli, wash your face. We have to redo your makeup,” Jia Lia instructed me to move towards the sink.
Huffing, I couldn’t do anything against my eldest sister’s words. Moving over to the sink, careful of the clothing I was wearing, I started to wash my face. It felt good to wash my face though, getting rid of the dried tears on my skin.
“You can’t break down today, no matter how much you want to. After your wedding and after a few days have passed, we can get together for you to scream as much as you want. Just try to keep it in for today,” Jai Lia said as I finished up.
I dried my face with a towel, and looked over at my sisters.
“Damn,” Gao Seng said, “You still look ugly. When was the last time you slept?”
“Seriously? Seriously?!” I said to my younger sister.
“Gao Seng, stop it, or you’re getting thrown out,” Jia Lia said, getting in front of me, “I’m just going to be doing the basics to your face. We have to get out there again otherwise they will talk even more.”
“Ugh, they are already talking,” Tina said.
“Oh yeah?” I said as Jia Lia instructed me to close my eyes, “Who and what are they saying?”
“Just the typical Aunt Houa stuff. But that isn’t even her biggest story, apparently, you weren’t in line for the marriage. Apparently it was supposed to be Ellen. So, of course, Aunt Houa is saying this and that all morning. How if it was Ellen, this wedding would be happening at her house, and that everything would be that much better. Cause, you know, it would be her instead of here.”
Tina filled me in on the gossip. Ellen, my cousin, was a year older than me. And as I was aware, she was happily involved with her own boyfriend. For her mother to be saying stuff like that at an event like this was horrible enough.
“Is Ellen here then?” I asked.
“For about an hour, until Aunt Houa couldn’t hold it in anymore and started to over share her stories. Ellen ran as fast as she could, and she took her boyfriend along with. Can you imagine, your own mother talking about your supposed engagement to another man, right in front of your boyfriend. I felt so bad for them, I don’t blame them for leaving.”
“This is the best I can do for you,” Jia Lia interrupted, “So you better not ruin it again. Stop talking about that stuff. It makes you no better than the lady.”
“You weren’t kidding then, were you?” Chia said, who had been quiet throughout the whole conversation.
“I don’t kid around, just you wait. I’m sure there will be more to happen. She still has yet to come and talk to me. You will be in for a show. Now let’s get out of here. There is a performance we have to go to.”
Within those few minutes alone with my sisters, I felt better. I didn’t have to go through it alone. As much as I was facing all the little old ladies who would talk, my sisters were dealing with it too.
We came out of the bathroom and rejoined the crowd of family. As soon as we came out, I was called to the living room once more. Apparently, my grandmother was waiting for me. Bee’s grandmother sat with mines, and they were in a happy conversation. Going up to them, they stop what they are talking about and greet me, telling me to take a seat before them.
Bee was summoned as well, and he takes a seat next to me. Before I know it, family was all around us, wondering what the tale they would be telling us today.
“Nou Hli and Bee, this is our tale. And this is the tale you will be telling your children one day as well. Remember it well,” my grandmother started. “When our families lived in Laos, in the villages of jungles and hills, your grandfathers would walk to our town. Mai and I were old time friends and the boys would come and visit us. They were very persistent and a few months later, we were getting married. But then we were separated when we came to America. It was last year when we found each other again. We had a promise when we were young girls, flirting with men. We wanted our families to be one. Sadly, we could not have our own children marry. But we have our grandchildren. We are getting old now, and we would like to be family. I know that you may not be happy with our decisions, but we have decided, and this was for the best.”
Bee’s grandmother put in her words too, “I know this was an unwanted promise for you two. But we are getting old and after so many years, this will make us happy. Nou Hli, you have been family before you even knew it and you will continue to live with us as our own. Don’t think that you will be taken from your parents and siblings; you will be able to see them again.”
Everybody knew of the tale now. There were no more secrets. Our fate had been a long time coming. As shocking as it was to hear it the second time, to hear it from my own grandmother proved my future to be true.
I silently nodded in understanding. I was born to fulfill my family’s wishes. To be the good girl and listen and do as they said.
Our grandmothers told us to go off, since they had much to talk of between themselves. My cousins and elders went back to what they were doing.
Before Bee and I could go our separate ways, one of my cousins came up to us.
“Luna, we have a gift for you two,” my cousin said. His face slanted, “I’m not sure if it’s a good choice after what grandma said, but we practices super hard for it.”
Smiling I said, “It’s fine. I want to see. Bee, let’s go. My super talented cousins want to sing for us.”
We headed to the basement, where most if not all the cousins were hanging out. In our family, many were talented in different ways. My cousin, who led us down, was known for being good with guitars and singing. Once we reached the room, he goes to his seat, and grabs his personal guitar he brought along on the trip. Next to him, sat another cousin of mine, she too had her guitar out. She was another talented person, and I was glad to see their performance, even if it was to congratulate my wedding.
Both of them got ready, and they started strumming their instruments. I could tell it was just by the melody. They were singing “Lucky” a duet by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat.
I couldn’t help but smile at the lyrics. They were the total opposite of what I would have used for a relationship like ours. I look over to Bee and notice a smile on him as well.
“So what do you think?” I said, leaning up to whisper to him.
Bee leaned down, letting me stand normally again, “They’re good. The lyrics are brilliant.”
“Really?” I questioned him, “I thought they make no sense, especially for you and me.”
“Maybe your cousins can see the future and predict our luckiness. Don’t doubt it,” Bee said.
After his statement, he leaves, just as the song was ending as well. I assured my cousins that their performance was great, wishing to hear them play another song later before I had to leave. I was soon asked to be somewhere else. My elders were asking to talk to me. Chia and I go back upstairs.
We rejoined the crowd in the living rooms and kitchen, my aunts and uncles were waiting for me. They were just as shocked at the announcement of my marriage, but they took the news better than I had.
I was being congratulated, and told that I would be living a happy life now since I was married. There were talks of my future years that held life of marriage to my husband and my unborn children.
How did these people know more about my future than me? How could they predict what I have yet to even dare think about? How could they see the on coming happiness promised to me?
Instead of proving them wrong, I smiled. I smiled and nodded at their comments. Chia stood by me as her duty of Green Lady, I wondered what she thought of my family. Could she see through their lies to make me feel better, about the situation, as I have?
My mother, and the crowd of aunts and young girls were in a rush to get our meal done. After a draining conversation with all the old relatives, I was pushed into helping out. But there was something else I had to do. It was time to get out of the outfit. I knew I still had some clothes left in my room and that is where Chia and I headed.
For the few hours, we had been at my parents house, I had peeked at Bee here and there. He was making his rounds of conversations with everyone, yet we had not talked to each other since the performance. Reaching my bedroom door, before I could open the door, Bee and his groomsman walks out of my room. Both had changed out of their traditional wear and now had a button downs and slacks.
“Luna,” Bee said as he sees me.
“You guys changed already?” Chia said.
“Yea, dad said it was okay to change,” Bee said to his sister before turning to me, “Can we talk for a second? I didn’t get the chance to ask you before.”
“I’m fine,” I said to him, knowing what he wanted to say, “Really. I’m sorry that it happened. I’m okay now.”
Bee nods, “If you say so.”
I nod back, and with Chia I walk pass him and his groomsman. In the comfort of my bedroom, I take in everything that is mine.
“We can pack more of your things later on to bring back. I’m sure you could pick what you need more than when I came with Bee.”
“Yea, later on we can do that.”
Chia had brought a bag of her own clothing, and she went on to change into her casual outfit. While I dug around for something to wear. As much as I didn’t want to be at this event, there was no way that I was going to represent myself in a horrible attire. I knew what I wanted to wear. My wardrobe did not have much in it and I knew there was something still here for me to wear.
Roaming around my room, I pull out my favorite pair of jeans, in another drawer I find a flowing long sleeve blouse, and in the last drawer I get a vest. After I put on the ensemble, I turn to Chia.
“What do you think?”
“Damn, it’s only for a few hours but you dressed up well. Are you sure? You look too good.”
“I’ve always said to myself. ‘If you’re going into battle, you better wear some armour.’ This is my armour.”
“Well then, I think you look amazing.”
“Thank you.”
We go back into the crowd and join the busy bodies in the kitchen.
“Good, you’re back,” Kia said as she sees me and Chia, “Help wash these greens. Chia, you too. Since you guys can’t really split up.”
“Okay,” I said as we started our job.
For the moment everything was good. We laughed as we prepared food. There were talks of funny stories. Random aunts, who were known to over share, talked of their lives and their marriages. They talked of body shapes and how some cousins were well formed in areas.
I couldn’t help at shake my head at their theories of what a good wife’s body should look like for their husbands to like them.
“Do not listen to them,” I tell Chia.
Chia laughs and nods.
I was caught off guard. I was so happy in the moment, to be sharing this little moment of heaven with my sisters, cousins and crazy but funny aunts. I forgot that there were others who wished ill on me.
“Nou Hli,” said I voice I knew too well, “How are you?”