*Mitch's POV*
It's been two weeks since we've been released from the hospital.
We've been staying in a hotel in Canada so we can rest easier than we would if we were traveling.
Avi, Kevin and Scott's casts have all been replaced with braces and Kirstie is out of her neck brace and has regained a lot of her memory, as the doctor had told us she would.
I wish my injury was temporary.
Despite my impediment, Scott and I have decided to continue Superfruit. We have not yet told the fans about what happened in extensive detail, they just know about the crash.
Today is Saturday, and it's our first show and our filming day for Superfruit.
"Hey Mitch, wanna film now? We need to tell everyone." Scott says.
I nod and sign. I'll get the camera.
We've been working on sign language for a couple of weeks and we all picked up on it pretty quickly.
I get the camera while Scott sets up the lights.
We struggle to find the right place to put the camera because of the hotel's crappy lighting, but finally decide on a spot near the window.
We turn on the camera. "Wait, where's my phone?" Scott frantically looks around the room for his phone.
I silently laugh when it's in his back pocket. He turns to me. "Have you seen it?" I shake my head no.
He continues to look for a couple minutes and I finally grab it out of his pocket and hand it to him. He grabs it. "You knew it was there, didn't you?"
I shrug. I don't know what you're talking about.
He rolls his eyes. "Okay, let's get started."
"What's up, everyone! Welcome to Superfruit.My name is Scott and this is Mitch."
I smile and wave.
"Um, today...we're doing something a little different. As you know, all of us in Pentatonix were in a very serious car accident. We're all alive, but we all suffered broken bones and Kirstie got a serious head injury. Kirstie is fine and in recovery, but Mitch's injuries were more serious." He starts to get choked up.I just sit there and try not to cry. This is harder to do than I thought.
Scott blinks back his tears. "Mitch has lost all ability to talk. He has damaged a part of his brain that allows him to sing, though he cannot speak. We will still continue Superfruit, it will just be a little different from now on."
I just wanted to thank y'all for everything you've done for us and I just want to let y'all know that I'm still the same person, just a little quieter.
We answer some questions and then decide to wrap up the video.
"Well, that's all we have time for today, thanks for tuning in, we love you!" I sign "I love you" to the camera.
"Goodbye!" We sing in harmony.
Scott gets up to go to the bathroom and I just sit there.
I sit there wondering why I can sing, but I can't speak or laugh. It's like my brain won't let anything come out of my mouth. When I do try to speak, it's extremely slurred and barely audible. I wish someone had an answer.
I wish someone could tell me that everything will be okay, that I'm still a normal person.
A singer that can't speak?
No one wants that.
I sit there thinking until Scott comes out of the bathroom. "Why don't you shower, I'm gonna go find everyone else's rooms."
I nod and pick out my outfit for the show. I'm not as concerned about fashion as usual, but I try my best.
I hop in the shower and let the warm water soak my body. I try to relax, but I just couldn't stop thinking about what our fans will say.
What if it eventually affects my singing?
What if I'm never going to be normal again?
What if my family won't accept me?
I look over at a razor.
No. No, I've been clean for four years I can't start now.
I can't let anyone know that I'm depr-
I'm not depressed I'm just sad.
I look down at my legs.
They're all bruised and from the accident.
I guess if I...they wouldn't notice.
I pick up the weapon.
That nasty weapon.
I bring it to my thigh.
One...
Worthless.
Two...
Untalented.
Three...
Four...
Five...
Annoying, ungrateful, stupid.
I stop after about ten.
I then start sobbing.
I drop down to the floor, just crying, praying that Scott wouldn't come in and see me like this.
I finally get out and dry up the cuts as best as I can.
I get dressed quickly and decide to at least do my hair.
I blow dry it and apply some gel. I'll probably look horrible with bags under my eyes but oh well.
I slip on some shoes and get my phone. I get a text from Scott telling me to hurry. Great. I'm making everyone late.
I rush downstairs to the bus. I get on and everyone smiles at me. I smile back and sit down.
"Little late, Mitch?" Esther asks me and laughs.
Everyone else is simply early. I sign and everyone laughs.
"How do you make sign language so sassy?" Kirstie asks.
I just smile and shrug, and everyone carries on with other conversations.
Scott nudges my side. Are you okay? He signs so no one will hear.
I'm fine, just not feeling well. I say, motioning to my stomach.
Tell me if you feel any worse.
He knows I've gotten very shy about expressing my needs.
Why say anything if nobody cares?
We arrive at the venue in about 15 minutes.
Everyone gets off and goes into their dressing rooms to get ready.
All four of us boys have to share a room.
Good thing I already got dressed.
We chill for a few minutes and then it's time to go on stage. We get backstage and get into our circle.
"Who's turn is it?"
"Mine." Scott says. I know he's going to say something about me. I really don't need any sympathy right now; from God, from Scott, from anyone- It makes me look selfish.
Scott starts to pray. I don't really listen and just hear a part about me.
"...and we just ask You to help Mitch through this show tonight, Lord...in Your name we pray, amen."
We break apart and take our places.
We get our queue to go onstage and take our places for Daft Punk. I start the song and the crowd roars. I put on the same smile I do for every show and we do the choreography just as it was before.
It's the same for everyone else.
It comes to the time where I would make my speech and Scott helps me. I sign and he says what I'm signing.
"Mitch says...How are you, Ontario?" The crowd roars.
I know I've already explained this on Superfruit, but I wanna say it again. We all got into a car accident, which left us injured. Mine was the worst, leaving me unable to speak. I can still sing, which I hope you can tell. I just want you all to know that I love you all so much and the support I have gotten has been unreal. Thank you.
The crowd roars and I am embraced in a huge group hug. I actually smile a little and everyone lets go.
"Who. Is. Ready. To. Party." Avi says in his extremely low voice and everyone screams.
We sing the next song, which is Royals.
When the show is over, we all meet in the boy's dressing room.
I sit in front of a mirror and stare at my reflection while everyone else gets changed and jokes around with each other, talking about the show.
We start to pack our stuff up and Scott pulls me aside.
"Are you okay?"
I nod. Why?
"You're not okay, Mitch. Something's wrong with you."
I shake my head. I'm fine.
"Mitch. You're not 'fine'. I'm your best friend I know when you're not okay."
Dammit Scott, why can't you just leave me alone! It's people like you who make me feel this way.
He looks completely taken aback. "Fine. You know what? I'll just leave because you obviously have some issues to work out." He leaves and slams the door. I knock a water bottle over and start kicking stuff. Kirstie comes over to me.
"Hey, Mitch! Stop! Calm down right now." She has a serious look on her face.
I stop and try to go after Scott. She stops me.
"Mitch, tell me what's going on."
I shake my head.
She sighs. "Fine, but you're not going anywhere until you talk to him."
I roll my eyes and start walking to the bus. Kirstie automatically takes me to the back area. "What's up, Mitch? Where's the happy, loud Mitch we all know."
I just start crying. Kirstie just lets me sit there and cry. I cry for a good five minutes before she asks again. "Can you tell me, now?"
I hesitantly nod and close the door and lock it. I pull down my pants to my knees to reveal the cuts. Kirstie closes her eyes.
"Mitch, why? You were clean for four years, why now?"
I pull my pants back up and look at the floor. Kirstie lifts up my chin. "Look at me. If you promise me that you won't continue this, I won't tell Scott. If you keep doing this, I'm taking you to a therapist, understand?"
I smile a little. Promise.
"Now, let's go talk to Scott. I know you don't want to but he needs to apologize."
I follow her out into the bed area.
I really don't wanna do this...
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Told you I update at 3 a.m.
Do y'all like the #concept of this or nah?
Give me an honest answer, I won't be mad.
Byeeeee.