I freshened up and decided to make the oldy some Bihar famous dishes.
Tomorrow, was my last day and he needed to appreciate Bihar food too like I would cherish his Shimla one.
As he woke up, I smiled and placed the plates.
He smiled back.
I looked at his face which showed evidence of a huge amount of crying.
The fallen drops had left their mark.
We had a very quiet form of breakfast. I wanted to ask him how was it. But decided not to.
While he finished I couldn't control the uncomfortable silence and I broked in, "Both of us said something we shouldn't,
Both of us hurt each other, something we didn't intend
I am leaving tomorrow can we end this? "
He paused for a moment like he was expecting the 10 days to be too long.
"I am sorry!" He said.
"I am sorry too. "
"So... Last day. " He seemed shocked.
"You don't need to get me out I think. Do you still want to? " I mocked.
" Can we climb a hill last time?" He proposed ignoring my teasing.
Something felt quite within him but I couldn't feel like solving it when I was still stuck somewhere in the timeline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Love is like that you know, it brings pain" Akshay tried consoling her.
"Have you been in love? " asked a little boy sitting at the upper seat.
"Everyone loves their husband and wife. " interjected the newly married women at the window.
"Did you? " asked the little girl to the man with the turban lurking from above.
"Only the starting years," he said with a laugh.
"Isn't it like caring?" enquired a middle-aged woman.
"There is nothing as such like love but compromise. " a man in the late 60s replied.
"Only a few people get the chance to be in love," a teenager remarked while secretly looking at a boy photo on her phone.
"It's just a fantasy," said the practical engineer in the early twenties with the specs on his eyes.
She listened to everyone theories with a smile as if everyone was right at the same time but their truth resided in their stories.
She continued her story, to tell her truth, to tell her theory.
~~~~~~~~~~~
We climbed the last hill!
We really didn't talk, but the silence wasn't unpleasant either, it was calm.
We kind of climbed on different rocks and peacefully watched the sunset!
It kind of reminded me of the impassable end. That like the sun sets and goes from the world, someday I would.
Each day, the day is coming near, I thought about the times I wanted to die, it felt like I have died once, it's strange at this time I felt the urge to live.
After the sunset, he looked at me and I to him, we smiled then slowly our eyes kind of became mirrors, they stopped smiling and showing true feelings.
He came to my stone and kept his palm over mine as he sat there.
It made me cry, he was trying to make me have fun and I screwed everything up.
As the first drop of pain dropped from my eye on his hand, his dropped gaze went up from his hands into my eyes.
Those eyes, they were so deep. I was in a complicated situation, I wanted to stay at his eyes but at the same time wanted to hide mine which was filled with pain.
In that hide and seek of eyes I burst and said sorry.
"पुष्पा आई हेट टियर्स..."
He immediately hugged me tightly as if stopping the poison of pain to travel all over.
And within some seconds I felt comfortable, in a protected zone. I was so busy being making everyone feel protected that I forgot how it feels safe to feel being protected.
It felt like I wasn't alone. There was someone and that feeling is really precious.
We then realized we were just too close and I just went a distance aside.
"Sorry about that!"
" No... It's just..." and I stopped.
He went back to his stone, looking at the sky as if he just wants to jump and touch it.
He broke the uncomfortable silence and started singing with his melodious voice.
"आ, चल के तुझे मैं ले के चलूँ
एक ऐसे गगन के तले
जहाँ ग़म भी न हो, आँसू भी न हो
बस प्यार ही प्यार पले
एक ऐसे गगन के तले... "
He stopped and looked at me as if challenging me to sing.
"सपनों के ऐसे जहाँ में जहाँ प्यार ही प्यार खिला हो
हम जा के वहाँ खो जाएँ, शिकवा न कोई गिला हो"
I added and he joined me.
" कहीं बैर न हो, कोई गैर न हो
सब मिलके यूँ चलते चलें
जहाँ ग़म भी न हो, आँसू भी न हो
बस प्यार ही प्यार पले"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we got home, he poured out some wine and opened the letters again.
"I am sorry! It's been years and I never talked about her. When you read this, I felt as if you stole something. I... "
" It's my fault! " I said regretfully while taking a sip.
"She was my first love! Naina Mishra. "
" You really don't have to do this, if you don't want to. "
" I think it's time I get over these," he said with a painful smile.
" We were in high school together. I wanted to be something before I propose to her, I wanted to be really good!"
" Then? "
" I got into the army, I thought after training when I get to go home I will talk to her. I wrote these letters in the memory of her, that one day I will give them to her." He sighed.
" But I never got to tell her when I reached home she was married. It hurts like hell!! " He sipped a bit of pain with the drink.
"I am sorry! " I said with a doleful face.
" It's really hard to get over your first love, it's really pure! " I said consoling him.
" What happened to umm... your husband? How he died? Some disease or what? "
" He had an accident. We had a blessed life and then suddenly one day everything just shattered away like..." I stopped.
"How could just in some minutes your life could be changed??" I said with my mind rolling over things.
" At least you had somebody, even for short while. You had him, you had your precious moments. I had no one. " he tried to console me.
"Neither you had the thrive to get something back. Memories are beautiful but sometimes it just reminds you of your pain. " I complained.
We paused and smiled at each other.
" Well... I feel we both had our different kind of miseries from a long time " he concluded it.
" Yeah! From a long time. Let's get it out! Let's tell the world you love her."
I took his hand, with an amazing idea crossing my mind and we went straight to a peak.
At that point of time at that height, it felt freezing.
"What was her name, again? "
" Naina! "
" OK! Say it! "
" What? "
" Don't miss this time! Say it!! "
He gave me an understood smile and shouted, "I LOVE YOU NAINA".
"YEAH!!! " I jumped.
" It really feels good! Come on!! " He seemed really relieved.
" I LOVE YOU ASHOK!!!" I tried too.
" I LOVE YOU NAINA!! " He repeated and laughed.
We stood there still listening to the echoes.
"It feels like the world is repeating our love to them," I said.
He looked at me with watery eyes and I don't know when and how but I just remember the next second we were holding each other tight with so much relief like everything is okay.
This time there was comfort. As if we were sewed together with our pain.
All your life you just hear people saying "Everything will be okay!". But that time never came for me. I started to feel I don't know what okay even feels like.
But at that moment it felt maybe this is what people call okay. Maybe this is what they all long for.
Accepting someone with their pain is really beautiful. Not everyone can do that. It's like carrying the baggages together. It's a different kind of feeling you know.
I just not wanted to end that hug!!