"Thank you, everyone," Bruno nodded in our direction, "for coming here on such short notice."
"No sweat no sweat!!" I waved it off cheerfully, making him frown. I was in my specially-made rubber duck pajama while holding a cup of thick hot chocolate in my hands. The very epitome of comfort. Bruno clearly wants to tell me off for not acting like royalty but meh. Who cares? Clearly the other three don't. In fact, they are staring at my pajama with clear interests.
Licht yawned loudly, "What do you want you for at this hour, Brunie? I wanna go back to bed and get my beauty sleep!"
"Licht! There must be something important going on if dearest brother Bruno is calling us out at this hour! Right, dearest brother Bruno?!" Leonhard excitedly turned around to face the brunette.
I already knew what this meeting was about. According to the notes I took about a decade ago, this is when these four are staging a welcoming party for Heine. It was just a usual welcoming party in the manga ending with Heine appreciating and denouncing his presence in the palace. Yes, it was just a typical party.
...but now that I am here, I cannot let that slide, now can I?
"The purpose of my gathering everyone here tonight is simple! We must welcome our grand Mas—I mean, Professor Heine, to Weisburg Palace properly!" He finished it off with a loud slam on the table, shaking my plate of strawberries, "We have been incredibly rude to Ma—Professor Heine with that prank earlier and we must find some way to make it up to him. A grandiose welcome party is an absolute necessity to properly convey our feelings of deep regret to Ma—Professor Heine!"
"Brunie..." Licht awkwardly rubbed the back of his head, "We don't mind you calling sensei 'Master', you know. Go all out if you want?"
"Really?" Bruno's eyes positively sparkled, before reeling back and coughing into his hand, "I-I mean that's great. It's great that you don't mind. Yeah. That. It's great."
"But dearest brother Bruno!" Leonhard whined, "I don't feel sorry for what we did to that jerk! We could've done worse to him and why should we throw a party for that guy anyway?!"
"Yeah, that prank was fun, but severely lacking," I commented, leaning back onto the royal sofa, "if it were me, I would have a bright pink paint bomb and glitter bomb on top of where he was supposed to kneel and after Leonhard did his part I'd let go of the string to spill both out. But judging from what I've seen so far he probably could've dodged."
"You were watching us?! Oh mi gosh that was so embarrassing!!"
Bruno admonished, "Edward! How could you do such a cruel thing to Master!"
"Hey, in my defense!" I held my hands up playfully, "I was wrong. Sludge and milk would be a better combination."
"Eww." Licht's face contorted in disgust, "What if it splashes on to us too?! And where did you come up with this disgusting combination!"
"Anyway," Bruno coughed, getting Kai's attention; he had been ignoring us this whole time and played around with Shadow the dog, "Let's get back to planning the party. Since each of our lessons with Master is done separately, that person will do his best to distract Master for the other three to plan the party behind his back. In the afternoon, he will presumably stay in his room to grade our work so we will have a maid to keep an eye on him. This has to remain a surprise at all costs!"
"That doesn't sound half bad actually," Licht hummed, "A girlfriend of mine who works at a famous restaurant's dropping by tomorrow. I can supervise the party's layout, too. We'd better make it small; I don't think sensei's the type to like large, overcrowded parties."
Kai mumbled, "Shadow and I....can gather....fruits...flowers...and we should invite Grandmother and Adele too..."
"That's great. Leonhard, how about you?" Bruno turns to Leonhard, whose face is anxious with thoughts, "I know that you don't like Master—no, the royal tutors, so you don't have to force yourself. Just make sure to show up tomorrow, okay?"
"No, I don't hate him." Leonhard bit his thumb, "Heine's the first person to catch up to me, after all. I suppose I can reward him with our palace's finest venison from the mountain...I guess I can head out early tomorrow morning."
"That is great, thank you. As I am the person who suggested this, it is only appropriate that I will take care of planning the party. It is vital for everyone to help with distracting Master tomorrow; I know that this is not an easy task—"
"—anddddd stop right there~!" I decided that this is just about where I should step in. Just like what happened in canon, their ideas are just too boring and unoriginal.
"Edward?" Bruno pushes his glasses up in confusion but quickly nodded in understanding, "Ah, I apologize. Were there something you would like to do as well?"
"Not really," I smiled, "I just wanna point out all the flaws in your logic, that's all. First off, do you really think that Leonhard of all people can keep a straight face and lie to someone else?" Understanding immediately dawned on the other three's faces, while Leonhard tilted his head cutely in question. "Second, you rely on Professor Heine sticking to his room to grade your work; what makes you so sure that it will happen? He could be touring around the palace to get familiar with the structure. It's his second day after all."
Bruno guiltily looked around after seeing the flaws I pointed out in his plans. To be fair; it did go how he predicted in canon, but where's the fun in telling him that?
"And finally, how can you come up with such a plain and ordinary party when you are the Prank King's siblings? I'm honestly ashamed to call you guys my brothers!" I dramatically lamented, "Where did I go wrong in raising you boys? Oh, woe is me!"
"Edward...." Bruno's voice suggests that he is so tired of dealing with my shit, "We are planning a proper apology and welcoming party, not a prank. It will have the complete opposite meaning we are trying to deliver!"
"Who told you guys to plan a prank on him?" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. "I have a brilliant idea of a party that I'm just dying to share with you guys. It perfectly suits everyone's needs. Leonhard; you don't need to wake up early and you'll get the day off—no studying!"
"Really?!" Leonhard excitedly exclaimed. It's fine if it's just a day right? I mean it's not like they got anything done in canon either since Leonhard was sleep-deprived from hunting that deer.
"Licht, instead of a formal party, plan for an informal miniature ball tomorrow. That way everyone can participate and you can just do it right in front of Heine's eyes—as long as you stick to the ballroom and not go anywhere, of course." I cackled, "It's time we show Professor Heine how we do things around in the royal castle."
"Huh? It's true that everyone can join in if it's an informal ball but how am I going to prepare for it right in front of his eyes?"
"That comes next. And Kai," I nodded to my younger brother #1, "you get to slack the whole day off with Shadow, Eins the cat, Edward Jr., Ernie Jr., and Viktor the parrot or just go out flower picking as originally planned. And finally, Bruno. If this all goes well, you'll get to engage in a battle of wits with your dear Master tomorrow!"
Bruno coughed delicately, "Even if I were to agree to your schemes," 'What a tsundere; I clearly won him over with that last sentence—' "What exactly are you planning, Edward. Just so we are clear, I will not condone any misconducts set up by you to humiliate our teacher."
I snorted. What are they, mother hen?
"Fair enough. I was just trying to keep the surprise party factor while pranking the professor at the same time with no harm done in the process." At the others' skeptical looks, I added, "Honest!"
"What is your plan, dearest brother Edward?" Leonhard leaned forward in anticipation, prompting the other three to follow suit. I lowered my voice for the suspense.
"This is what I have in mind..."
\V/
'That was honestly so embarrassing,' Heine grumpily thought as he made his way to Leonhard's room, 'As a live-in tutor, I should get acquainted with the royal lifestyle as soon as possible to understand what my pupils are going through. For now, I should start with prince Leonhard, then prince Bruno, prince Licht, and then prince Kai to match yesterday's interview orders. This is going to be tough.'
"Good morning, Professor Heine!" Helene greeted him amicably as he passed by.
"Good morning." Heine nodded politely before keeping up with his own pace, 'But still, given what he said, even prince Leonhard should put a bit of effort into his studies.....or not. He is cold or one moment and the next he's hot; an unpredictable person.'
Coming face to face with the door, he knocked politely, 'Now, what should I do if he's already run off?'
Pushing his way inside, Heine excused himself, "Forgive my intrusion, your Highness."
He was met with a surprising sight. There was no one in the room.
'Now this is an interesting development,' Heine makes his way toward the bed; the pillows were neatly arranged and the sheets have not been replaced yet. There was no warmth on either of them and the window are tightly closed. The doors were open.
Heine sighed, 'I was a fool to think that yesterday would've been the brunt of it. Hm? What is that there on the table?'
From the corner of his eyes, Heine saw a sheet of paper placed neatly on the table with handwriting that is unmistakably Leonhard's. He picked it up and scanned the page for information, 'J-Just because I said that I'm willing to try doesn't mean that I actually will, Baka! Try to find me before dinner and I might reconsider! And it's not like I'm giving you another chance, got it?!'
\V/
"Dearest brother Edward! Why do I have to write like this? And what does Baka mean anyway?"
"Trust me, Leonhard. It's gonna be funny in a century or so. Probably."
\V/
"...I'm not sure if I'm more surprised by the fact that prince Leonhard knows Yapanese or that he'd actually ran away." Heine deadpanned to himself. 'I have predicted that this will happen. And what's with this wishy-washy way of writing?'
Heine took a pen on the table and flipped the note around to test if it was the same type of ink as the one on the note. He was surprised to find a clue on the back, 'What kind of food do I hate the most? You can find me here!'
'Based on his personality, I am sure that prince Leonhard hates vegetables. Probably green peppers, eggplants, or bitter melon,' Heine thought, unimpressed. Unscrewing the pen's cap, he copied part of the note and raised an eyebrow. The type of ink did not match the only pen found in the room. 'He must have written this somewhere else before coming back to leave the note here. I can't rule out the possibility that the other princes are involved too.'
Someone knocked on the door politely and came in. It was a maid, "Good morning, Professor Heine. I am here to change prince Leonhard's beddings."
"Good morning," Heine nodded, "Please pardon my strange question, but have you seen prince Leonhard?"
"I'm afraid not." She admitted. "Prince Leonhard usually run away every time there is a new royal tutor; none of us servants have the faintest clue as to where he could be."
"Thank you," Heine grimaced, "And also...do you know where I can find vegetables? Is there a garden in the palace, perhaps?"
"Vegetables?" The maid covered her mouth, "No, the palace doesn't have a farming garden. All of our products are imported from various trustworthy stores and companies. If you are looking for vegetables there should be a delivery in about an hour at the west gate."
"And where do these vegetables go, may I ask?"
"Either the storage or the kitchen; we usually use them all up by the third day," the maid answered truthfully. She has no idea why the royal tutor is more concerned with vegetable placement rather than prince Leonhard's whereabouts but it's not her job to pry.
"I see. Thank you for your assistance." Heine inclined his head respectfully and left the room.
'I suppose it is more likely that prince Leonhard is hiding in the kitchen,' the chibi tutor thought, 'there is torte there, after all.'
And sure enough, Leonhard was hiding inside a lidded jar near the stove. He was just a little too tall for the jar so his head poked out from the lid. Heine sighed in exasperation, "Please come out, your Highness. We are late for your lesson."
No response. 'He probably thinks that if he pretends that he couldn't hear me, I don't exist. How troublesome.'
Heine lifted the lid and placed it on the floor. Leonhard jerked, "H-How did you find me?! I got the perfect hiding place!"
'You were completely visible, your Highness' is what Heine wanted to tell Leonhard, but refrained from doing so to avoid prolonging the discussion, "It was luck, prince Leonhard."
"Ughh...took you long enough. I've been waiting for two hours! My back hurts!" Leonhard cracked his shoulder and stretched himself before pulling out a piece of paper. "Here's your next quest."
Heine dumbfoundedly stared at the paper in Leonhard's hand before opening his mouth, "Your Highness...I am afraid I don't follow. We should get back to your room to start our lesson now otherwise I will be late to prince Kai's lesson."
"Oh, don't worry about that. You have the day off today." Leonhard thumped his chest confidently with his other hand, "Everyone's hiding somewhere in the palace and you have to find them before dinner starts. Your only clue is a piece of note. Uh...what else was there...Oh! You are also supposed to tag us! Wait...that means you haven't caught me yet!!"
Struck by divine revelation, Leonhard broke into a fast run and get out of the kitchen. But he didn't make it to the end of the hall as he felt a poke on his side. The prince jumped sideway from surprise to see Heine's grumpy face looking at him.
"Of all the...All of you are in on this? Even prince Bruno?"
Leonhard clutched his side, "What was that for?! And of course! Think of it like a secondary test of your ability!"
"I see. Then, the note please." Heine laid his palm out, waiting for the prince to give him the note. 'So he's weak on the sides.'
Leonhard dropped the folded note onto his palm, smirking slightly. "Okay, my job is done here. I need to go to my fencing lessons now; seeya Heine!!"
Heine sighed again. 'I suppose boys will be boys, royalty or no. They almost remind me of Viktor back in the days. The apple truly doesn't fall far from the tree.'
Opening the piece of paper, the royal tutor froze in his track.
'funi funi'
\V/
OMAKE:
It was his first day at the military academy, and Edward had already pissed off several people.
'Well, at least it's not completely my fault this time,' Edward inwardly scoffed in the comfort of his own bed. All the recruits are given their own room since the school is tailored to the noble families, and thus the higher one's status the better they are treated amongst their peers. As the second prince who is also considered a genius, the fifteen-years-old Edward naturally charmed many people into becoming his ally.
Not many recruits are willing to stay for the duration of their academic year, but Edward was looking for an opportunity to get away from Weisburg anyway, so it was a blessing for him. The only thing that bothered the prince is that the doors are unlocked; part of a mental test to see if students can resist the urge to snoop around.
'Ugh...the mattress here is too hard. Guess I'm used to the royal beddings after all.' the prince sighed, 'anyhow, I should go to sleep. Tomorrow's gonna be a tough day.'
"Are you sure we should be doing this, Mark?" A voice whispered. 'Oh great,' Edward rolled in eyes behind his closed eyelids in annoyance, 'the idiotic twins are here. What do they want with me in the middle of the goddamn night?'
"Why the hell not, Tom?" Another voice said with a hint of a smirk, "This son of a bitch dared to insult our pants in front of everyone during dinner today. I'm just going make him bleed a little, alright?"
'I was just stating the truth,' Edward mentally prepared to pounce on them both if need be, 'why the fuck are you two wearing ripped pants in this day and age? Are you from the future or something?'
Staring at Edward's peacefully sleeping face, Tom hesitated, "What if he tells the instructor?"
"It's fine. We have blackmail on that perverted asshole, remember?" Mark snorted. "Now look, this—" he brought the knife up and prepared to slam it down on Edward's face, "—is how you do things around here!"
Just before the knife hit, Edward twisted to the side and grabbed Mark's wrist before pulling him and the knife to stab Tom in his left arm. The orange-haired boy fell down in pain, clutching his arm, and screamed. Mark stared dumbfoundedly as Edward retreated further into the comfort of his own blanket.
"Blood....there is so much blood!!" Tom cried, "Mark! Help me!"
But Mark shows no signs of responding to him. He stood frozen at the sight of his younger twin clutching his arm in pain, the bloody knife still in his hands.
"What is going on here?!!" The patrol guards slammed the door open and pointed their light source at the bed. "Mark Koller! What do you think you are doing?!"
Edward smirked slightly, 'Took them long enough.'
"I-It's him!" Mark pointed at Edward, still dressed in his pajamas and tucked in bed, "He pulled my hand and stab Tom! Get him!"
The commotion had some of the students next door who are still awake came over to see all the commotion. A teacher pushes his way through the crowd. "Mark Koller. You are coming with us to the disciplinary room right now."
One of the guards started performing basic first aid on Tom. His face reflected pain and he hasn't stopped crying.
"Please believe me!! I am telling the truth!"
"His Highness pulled you two into his room in the middle of the night and used your knife to stab your brother?" The teacher crossed his arms, clearly unimpressed with the explanation until understanding dawned in his eyes, "You—! You were trying to assassinate Prince Edward, didn't you?!"
Surprised gasps came from the student body as gossips began to pick up. The teacher hollered, "Everyone!! Get back to your respective room and not a word to anyone else about this! Those who break the rules will face severe punishment! Guards! Take these two away!"
"Yessir!"
The teacher turned to Edward and tried to smile encouragingly, "Your Highness, are you alright? Were you harmed in any way?"
"No, I'm fine. Thank you for your concerns." Edward smiled politely. "If there is anything else...?"
"Ah, of course not. I will have everything sorted out by morning, of course."
"Great! I'll go back to bed then. See you later, Mister...."
"...Andersen, your Highness. I wish you a good night." Andersen nodded, before leading the two students out the door.
Alone in his room, Edward's mouth twisted into a nasty smile.
'The opening act; a total victory.'
\V/
Heyyy it didn't take me half a year to update this time XD Thank you to all the comments; I enjoy reading your every reactions to what happens in the story and picturing your dumbfounded faces is nothing short of hilarious.
I already have the next chapter lined out, just waiting to be written. Maybe another update next week? The omake, btw, is part of the story I planned to write about Edward's experience in the military academy but ended up going straight to canon because it's too long and not related to the main story. I'll be posting bits here and there as omake just so all my plottings doesn't go to waste.
ANYHOW! 5 votes for Princess Angela it is! Honestly I'm not too sure about bringing romance into a story like this (and the previous Edward doesn't have many positive experiences with girls in general) but it's customary for royals to have a betrothed. It also pushes Eins to see Edward as a proper rival for the throne instead of his dog so I just went ahead. If I actually manage to continue this story for long enough, I might just let them get married—and don't worry; Angela's completely relevant to the plot.
As always, many thanks to nguyet_mun for the wonderful picture! She actually finished a long time ago but I conveniently forgot and let it sit in my folder until now XD