joshua 🤍
hey
you free tonight?
nessa
yeah i just have 1 more meeting
then i'll be home
joshua 🤍
okay good because
i'm making dinner
nessa
really? what's the occasion 🥰
joshua
i have some pretty big news
and i need to ask you something :))
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ness paces back and forth in the hallway. she's about to go inside and have dinner with josh and tell him about the conservatory. earlier today she had a meeting with her talent agency and she let them know that she'd be leaving los angeles and that the chances of her remaining an influencer were going to be very slim. she also got in contact with her parents and friends from back home- letting them know about her news too. nessa is excited to be starting fresh and going back to her roots, she knows that she's making the right decision.
taking a deep breath, she opens the front door and enters her apartment she will no longer live in after friday. the subtle sound of slow pop music playing from the living room is all she can hear as she walks down the hallway and into the room. nessa has to cover her mouth when a gasp slips passed her lips.
in the living room, josh has placed a table with the fanciest dishes and most beautiful table decorations. the lighting has been dimmed around the room and two tall candles are flickering away on the round table.
"oh good! you're home" josh says from the kitchen. nessa looks over to see the food being cooked nicely and a large flower arrangement of white roses and baby breath- her favorite.
nessa takes off her coat and makes her way into the busy area that smells like a proper italian restaurant. she realises that josh is making her favorite food and gifting her with her favorite things. she can't help but beam with happiness as she wraps her arms around his neck and leans up, placing a kiss on his lips. josh welcomes the smaller girl with pleasure, snaking his own arms around her waist- holding her close. he smiles into the kiss as it deepens.
"you did all this for me?" nessa blushes. the surprise in her tone is present but by now she probably should have known he'd pull something like this.
josh nods happily, reaching on to the counter and picking up a small box. he gestures for nessa to open it and she takes the box, holding it gingerly. her fingers unwrap the red bow that was tied on top. she feels her eyes start to tear up as her eyes gaze at the silver charm bracelet that sits in the box.
"hey and that's not even the best part, look at the charms" josh urges, proud of himself for coming up with such an idea.
nessa starts to cry happy tears as she takes the bracelet out of the box and study's each individual charm. there's a cellphone one which resembles how they met. a plane one because they're from different places and because of the moment they had in the airport that one time. there's a thanksgiving hat charm to represent the day they shared their first kiss. one that's shaped like a wave because the day on the beach where they first admitted their feelings to themselves and then there's one with a bowling ball and pin which reminds nessa of the day she and josh finally got together, even if it wasn't official to everyone else- she knows it was official to them.
"josh this is the sweetest gift ever" she smiles sweetly.
josh kisses her head.
"the reason i wanted to have this fancy dinner tonight is because today i had a meeting with the agency and they told the boys and i that were going on tour! i want you to come with me nessa. as my official girlfriend" the boy glows, his happy mood breaking nessa's heart as she remembers what's coming next.
there's a long silence and josh's expression morphs into a concerned one. he thought things were finally good between them. why is she taking so long to say yes. he knows it's what they both want so why does she keep making it so hard for them to be happy together.
"ness? say something please".
"i applied to the new jersey music conservatory and i got accepted. i'm moving back to new jersey on friday" she blurts out. nessa can't take back her words but she sure does wish she would have said them a little more sensitively.
josh let's go of her, his eyebrows raised and a defeated look on his pale face.
"anything but that" he mutters referring to his previous request that she say something.
nessa tries to hug the heartbroken boy but he moves away, leaning against the island and staring at the wall. nessa feels rejected by him and she knows that she's just ripped his heart into tiny pieces but she's still standing by her decision to leave. she has to.
"i just don't get it nessa" he sighs, sounding more wounded than ever.
hearing her say she's leaving him really knocked the wind from his body. josh feels like he's running out of air. he's never been this upset before.
"i'm sorry josh but-"
"sorry? oh okay so everything fine just because you're sorry? i want you nessa. i've wanted you for a long time now and i thought you wanted me back. do you have any idea how it feels to know that you don't? so what? you were just stinging me along? getting all the benefits out of me?".
"no that's not it! it's never been like that!" she cries, wiping away her tears.
"why don't you love me enough to stay?" josh yells, his voice cracking. the defeated boy slides down the wall and sits with his head in his arms.
"joshua i do. that's why i have to go. you need to focus on you and tour now and me? i need to see if my dream is worth working for. if i didn't love you i'd stay or ask you to come with me and be selfish but i'm not. i'm leaving but that doesn't mean this was all for nothing. you've taught me how to let myself be loved josh. you're the reason i'm doing this".
josh looks up at the crying girl and scoffs. "well aren't i my own worst enemy".
"this isn't a goodbye josh. you can visit whenever you want and i'll be back here lots of times whenever i can. i just couldn't make you do long distance and lose out on all the other- better opportunities you'll have out in the world without me. one day you'll thank me-"
"yeah maybe one day. but right now? today? i hate that this is what you've decided. why do you get to make all the decisions about what's good for me? nessa this is killing me".
josh sniffles and pulls himself together. he wipes away the salty tears and stands back up. the broken boy puts on his hoodie and grabs his car keys off of the table. he stands in front of a confused nessa with puffy eyes and a breaking heart.
"if you leave then that's it between us. we're no longer friends. we're nothing to each other. you might be okay with changing your life so drastically but don't you dare try to change mine without my permission and without talking to me about it. you see ness, as sad and dumb as it might sound, you are my life and you have been from that very first day when you replied back to my text. i cant believe how long it's taken me to see that this relationship is one sided or wait sorry- this fling. everything is on your terms and i'm taking back control. i'm the one walking away now and if you chose to let me keep walking then that's it. but if you finally want to let yourself be happy then say the words and i'll stay".
josh turns around and walks towards the door. nessa can't bring herself to tell him to stop. she hates herself for making the only boy she's ever loved feel like this. she's broken him and there's no way to
fix it now.
the door slams closed and it's the seal on josh and nessa's fate.
there's no turning back now.
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NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST OMG